Thoughts & Experiences

Long Overdue Update.

PaulasPonderings1 Comment

I know… I read all my blog friends updates, and I give none of my own.   I LOVE reading the updates… no matter how short or lengthy they are.  And as much as I enjoy them, I don’t seem to be able to write until I’m overwhelmed with a bullet list of activities to share.   I need to follow in the footsteps of my favorite bloggers,and get better about sharing on a regular basis..

A quick couple of updates for now :

  • Old Boyfriend:  I sent an email to My Mr. Big to wish him a happy birthday.. his email address is no longer active.  I’ve spent a lot of this year holding on to him…. . missing him, missing him desperately at times.  The fact that his email address does not exist anymore smacks me over the head (and heart) with a dose of reality.  He has moved on, and that I alone have been the one holding on to the idea of him, the idea of us.  I thought we had something so special .. and we did.. but that was then, it this not now.  An “email account that you tried to reach does not exist” message from Gmail” has knocked some sense into me … As hard as it is to admit, he has moved on, and as special as what we shared was, it is no longer.  It takes two to make something magical, and as much as I love(d) him, he is not in that magical place with me.  Time for me to grow up, get a move on, and get over it. Those of you who know me will know that this effort to move on will be a new years resolution…   
  • New Boyfriend:  I met a gentleman in my favorite bar in early November… we really get along well.  I just spent a full weekend with him. Yes, a  full 48 hours.  And I actually liked it.  I did not only not tire of his company, I actually enjoyed it.  The even better news?  I actually miss him tonight.  Crazy… He has met my family (AbFab and family were in town for 10 days), they like him.. My friends CLicisous and her hubby have met him and love him…..  All goodness.  However, (isn’t there always a but??), he is a bit older than me and looks it.  So, he is older and looks older, I’m 40 and look younger.  I never thought I’d care what others thing, but I do feel a bit self-conscious when I realize that people are staring….  wondering if I’m his daughter vs. his lover…   He is so sweet and good to me, we have a lot in common (kids the same age, same philosophy in life, same politics, etc.), and so much fun together…  I’m going to ignore the looks from others and give this a go.. …
  • Family Visit:  AbFab  and her family came out to stay with me for a few weeks … God, I’m still missing them. It was crazy around the house with 4 other people, but a good crazy.  I am in love with AbFab.. and her girls, Mayonaise and Shaynayhay are awesome.  I didn’t get as much time with them as I would have liked (I still had to work), but boy, are these girls full of energy, personality, and plain old goodness. 
  • Parents Visit:  My parents came to CA and stayed a couple of days with me.  I loved seeing them, relaxed, and enjoying themselves n a different environment.  They seem to like it, and I really enjoy having them see my friends, experience my life.   I love them dearly, as I get older I realize how much they have given me, how much they have influenced me, the person I’ve become.  They are good peeps… and  plan on spending more time with them in the coming new year.

I’ve had a couple of hard work experiences lately, I’ll write more about this later as it has to do with personality conflicts…  too much to explain in this update…

I’m looking forward to these last few weeks of the year,  have a lot of work to do, but it’s also the time  take to reflect on this year, form new goals for next year, and enjoy my family and friends….

Thanks for your patience.. I’ll get better at blogging regularly once again.

A Pissy Post.

PaulasPonderings4 Comments

Be forwarned – I’ve had a few cocktails and I’m feeling a bit pissed about  what has happened lately.

I just don’t get it. If you are a nice gal, like myself, are open and honest,  the girl next door type, you get screwed.  If you look great (not that I don’t look good mind you, I’m a hottie, I’m just a 40-year-old hottie), are a bitch on wheels, desperate, needy… you get a guy.   I think of the men I’ve fallen for this year – all of them amazing in their own way – independent, honest, cool, different/unique… super interesting.  EVERY single one of them is driven to please needy, pissy, bitchy women (including but not exclusive to their ex-wives). . 

I’m great, what they want, their “dream girl” as they have all said – gorgeous, self-sufficient, independent, fun, etc…  They couldn’t ask for anything better.   But in the end, they drop me (and in not-nice ways)…  why you ask?  I’d love to know for sure.  But what I suspect is that it’s because there wasn’t enough drama for them. Men love drama… makes them feel loved, needed.  They want it, they need it.  I think it’s totally immature, but I think this is it.

I’ve been reminiscing… the 3 men I’ve fallen for since my divorce; One that I loved with all my being; My Mr. Big, the one  I would take back in a heartbeat IF he ever showed his face again.. gone.   The other two had potential to capture all of my heart…. but won’t because they are still tied to ex-lives (IMO).   All 3 have recoiled from a relationship with me,and I know it’s not because of me.  It’s because of them. As much as they said they were ready, the were NOT ready for a mature, supportive, non-jealous, fun, loving, sexual, easy  relationship.  All of them weren’t ready for this for different reasons…. but for me, it’s all the same  – they weren’t ready for something fabulous and fun.

As I think about this, it pisses me off.  I spent 2 years figuring my shit out BEFORE I put myself out there. I wanted to make sure that I was ready for a healthy relationship…   I thought men wanted the same thing.  But after this year, I do NOT believe this is the case.  I think when men “are ready’, it means they are ready to throw themselves out there and catch what they can (and the younger, more immature the better). 

I think I’m done for the year…  I’m disappointed.  I don’t need a partner,  I’ve got my friends, my cats, and lots of to-do’s to accomplish this holiday season…  I’ll think about what I want to do for next year and focus  what I need to do to get a partner as part of my New Year’s Resolutions..

So that’s it.  I’m pissy.. don’t understand men… giving up on them for the rest of the year.  If you have advice, I’d love to hear it, it will help figure out what I do in the New Year.

Not Home. No Candy.

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

This is the sign I hung on my door this evening.  Yep, the fun hater in the neighborhood is me.  Never thought it would be – I love Halloween….  but today, this week, this year, not me. 

Mr. Showtime and I had planned a simple party, a Napoleon Dynamite character party, where I would be LaFawnDah and he would be my Kip.   Obviously that didn’t happen.  When will I get to be LaFawnDuh??? 

I just had dinner with GFP, and I have had enough to drink to say things I probably shouldn’t… but here goes:

  • Love GFP…  because his friendship means the world to me, and there are no strings attached. I love that he is in my life… and he wouldn’t be if he was as black and white as Mr. Showtime and Dear Paula Letter Writer  were about relationships.   
  • I make the best Pomegranate Martini’s … so delicious they are dangerous.
  • Breaking Bad is the best series EVER. I just finished Season 3 on Netflix… Bummer for me.  Season 4 just finished but Hulu doesn’t have  rights to run it (along with a bunch of other shows).  I’m getting close to discontinuing my relationship with Hulu.
  • My parents are coming to visit this weekend… I’m planning a Meet the Parents night…  more deets coming.
  • Unicorns is gone.  Once again she has galloped out of my life, into her own…   she will be living in Boston soon. I can’t wait to visit. 🙂

In general, I spent the day/the last few days feeling down (Katie’s departure, The end of my time with Mr. Showtime). Its been hard to get up these last few mornings… not too hard to pick up a glass of XXX (goose, wine, etc)…   I need to snap out of it quickly….  The upcoming holidays surely don’t help.  I’ll figure something out…

Oh, I also have decided to start focusing on my New Years Resolutions.  I take them very seriously, and I need something to focus on right now…  work has been good but very frustrating, and my love life.. well.. hasn’t been that great.

O.k.. so I’m done with my public pity party.  Halloween has come and gone… I didn’t pass out OR eat any candy today……  Makes this a good day in my book.

Behavior I Just Don’t Understand.

PaulasPonderings8 Comments

So, it takes a confused heart to get me back into writing.

Life has been extremely busy since I’ve written last.  I’ve been traveling a LOT for work, my best friend Unicorns is staying with me for a while, and I’ve been actively dating.

  • Work has been great – being busy is a good thing – together with my team we are making good progress on closing a few deals.  They won’t happen right away, but we are definitely moving in the right direction.
  • Friendships – Having Unicorns in town has been fabulous.  I love having her friendship, guidance, and support around me 24-7.   As you will soon learn, its been a good thing.
  • Dating.  Mr. Showtime turned out to be fabulous. We had instant chemistry, lots of things in common, and we had a great time together no matter what was on the roster.  He even met a few of my friends – FreeBird and Unicorns, and they both gave him the thumbs up.  Honestly, up until last week, I would have said that things were progressing very nicely.

But here is the weird thing.  And guys, please pipe in because this kind of behavior is very strange to me.  It’s happened to me twice now  – the first time with Dear Paula Letter Writer, and now Mr. Showtime.   This must be pretty common behavior amongst a certain type of man?  Or is it the timing?  I realize I’m the common denominator here … maybe its me…

Mr. Showtime and I started interacting since our first date.  We weren’t able to spend too much time together, but we were in constant communication.  He would call and/or text me everyday.  He would say sweet and darling things, i would reciprocate.  A few weeks back, Mr. Showtime went to NY for business.  While he was away, he called and texted me every day.  He got back a week ago Saturday night, I picked him up from the airport and returned him to his house.  We spent Sunday morning together, took a drive before he had to go to work.  I dropped him off at his house, with plans for him to come over to my house for dinner that evening.

At the end of the day, he decided he was too tired and wanted to chill at home, which I totally understood (I would have done the same thing).  Here is how the rest of the week/weekend played out:  

  • Sunday:  even though we planned to have dinner, I had to text and call to find out what he was doing. He was tired and wanted to stay home.. got it, no problem.
  • Monday: I reached out .. he responded that he was sick.
  • Tuesday: I offered to stop by with soup… he declined.
  • Wednesday:  no contact
  • Thursday: I texted him asking him if he felt better.  Suggested we get together on Sunday.  His return text, “That sounds nice”.
  • Friday: no contact
  • Saturday:  I texted him, asked him how he was feeling.. wondering if he was up still up for Sunday.  No response.
  • Sunday:  I texted him in the morning,  sharing with him I was a bit worried and just asked that he let me know he was alive.  I got a “I’m helping my daughter move”.  I thanked him for letting me know, wished him well with the move and that I would call later.  I called in the evening, got his VM, left a brief message.
  • Monday – Today:  Left him a VM stating I’d love to catch up and he could call me anytime.

So that’s it. I’ve put the ball in his court.   It’s very strange to me that we would communicate pretty much every day since we met, and now he has dropped off the face of the earth.  But I do believe that his actions are very consistent with someone who prefers not to see or speak to me again, so my plan is to let it go.  If I don’t hear from him by later this week, my plan is to send him a simple email something along the lines of “it’s fine you’re no longer interested, but I really wish you would have told me so directly”… I’m mean come on people, aren’t we all adults here? 

Honesty, simply disappearing from the face of the earth is just rude and I’ll never understand it. I did a bit of research on this topic, ran across this article, Why Men Disappear, which gives me some clarity…   but I’m still confused that people in general are o.k. with this strategy.   My Mr. Big was able to do it, Dear Paula Letter Writer did it at the 2 month mark, and it appears that Mr. Showtime is at it himself now that we are at the 2 month mark.  Its funny, I struggled with breaking up with Chicken Legs, but at the very least we had the conversation multiple times. 

This is why I have a confused heart.  My heart is churning, trying to find a reason for it, because it just doesn’t make any sense.   I would have never expected this from Mr. Showtime (or Dear Paula Letter Writer for that matter…)  He was very clear about his interest, very consistent with both his verbal and physical communication… up until a week ago.  Just so odd….and has me searching for the why….

I should be focusing on a demo right now, but I just felt the need to get this out there.  I’m hoping by sharing it with you, you can help me figure it out, and release the confusion from my head and heart, because frankly, I’m getting tired thinking about it.  I know I’ll be fine… it’s just another blip on the radar of my romantic life.

😦

Building The Roster Once Again.

PaulasPonderingsLeave a comment

There are a bajillion things I should be doing other than what I am doing… What I should be doing is:

  • out and about enjoying this amazing California sunshine
  • running a bunch of errands
  • doing my 2010 taxes
  • doing my expenses

Instead, I decided that The Roster is nearly empty once again and I need to fill it back up.  Empty why you may ask?

  • MM Lebanese guy – he is traveling extensively this month.. I was out-of-town last month (in Hotlanta)… I like  him, but its going to be a while before we have a chance to reconnect.  Not sure if the distance makes someone grow fonder. In my experience it does not – its been more of an out-of-site-out-of-mind thing.  I do hope he keeps in touch and calls when he returns, I would like to see him again.  But I’m not going to hold my breath….
  • Middle Seat Airplane guy – The beautiful black man I met on the airplane.  Yum!  Anyway, I’ll be in Boston later this month.. I sent him a witty email about my visit and asked him out. Yep, just went ahead and told him what I wanted – to see him again.  We shall see what he does.  If he doesn’t respond, I’m sad to say he will be off the roster. 
  • The Chef.  I had lunch with him.. He is definitely interested.  he finds me to be “one of a kind” – beautiful, kind, and sincere.  I know, he should be a keeper. But you know, he calls me EVERYDAY.  I feel stalked in a way… and maybe that’s because I don’t like him.  😦  I’ll have to do something about this one soon.

So what did I do to remedy this situation?  Took charge.  I’m a girl of action – I brought my online profiles back to life.  I checked out MillionaireMatch.com and returned a few emails, I reactivated my POF.com account, and I signed up for OkCupid.com.  I put the same profile and pictures on each site.  Here are my thoughts on these sites as of today.

MillionaireMatch.com

I love that there is a place to go and its about income.  Now I can’t get very granular in my search (only look for people in the State of CA for example), but you have to state your income and its visible..and verifiable.  I like this.  I do NOT want to date anyone that makes less than me.  So I really like this site for its honesty around finances.  I’ve got two suitors that I’m emailing with… One lives in Southern California, another lives here in Northern California.   I will definitely let you know if they turn into anything more substantial.

POF.com

Why why why did I reactive my profile?  I did a search for what I’m looking for, and it should not be at all shocking that most of the men that I saw months ago are the same ones that popped up.  And the guys that have reached out to me with winks, kisses, or whatever the flirting method on POF is… well, not that attractive or interesting.   There is one potential at this time – a man who I favorited actually wrote me and said he enjoyed my profile and would like to meet me.  A man who took initiative.  I like that.  So the ball is in his court as they say and I will let you know if anything happens.

OkCupid.com

I thought I would try this site out.  I like the interface, its easy and intuitive.  I had initially done a search online and found one guy that I thought was adorable and had a great profile.  So I registered,  completed my profile, added pictures, then favorited him.  THEN I read his profile.  And as cute and adorable he is, he’s allergic to cats.  I did send him an email letting him know I enjoyed his profile and a few other funny and witty comments.  But I do mention in my profile that I have cats, so my guess is that as charming as I am, I will not hear from him.  Bummer.  For now I’m going to just hang out on OKCupid and see what comes to me…

Oh, and one last note, the advice on the website is that women keep their dating pool open, date several men.. sorta like a roster…   I think OkCupid and I have the same philosophy on dating… 😉

GM Diet Day 5 – Beef and Tomatoes.

PaulasPonderingsLeave a comment

Day 5 went well.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  I ate all the tomatoes and only 1/4 lb of ground beef.  I drank a ton of water.  I felt full after eating the beef at lunch time, that all I ate in the afternoon and evening was tomatoes with basil and balsamic..  I had the fresh organic heirloom tomatoes from Farm Fresh To You and they were absolutely divine….  I don’t know if I can eat another tomato that doesn’t come from garden.

So after the beef and tomatoes day, I’ve lost 7 oz, for a total loss of 3.1 pounds.  I’ve officially lost my Atlanta weight. 

Day Date Day Morn Weight (lbs) Daily Loss/ Gain Total Loss # glasses of Water Daily Activity
1 29-Aug Mon. 126.1     8 10 min walk
10 min abs
2 30-Aug Tues. 124.1 (2.0) (2.0) 8 40 min run
10 min abs
3 31-Aug Wed. 123.6 (0.5) (2.5) 7 60 min golf
4 1-Sep Thurs. 123.6 0.0 (2.5) 9 30 min low impact work
5 2-Sep Fri. 123.7 0.1 (2.4) 10 60 min bar burn class
6 3-Sep Sat. 123.0 (0.7) (3.1)    

However, I had hoped to lose a bit more with this diet, I was looking to lose a total of 6 pounds – the 3 pounds I gained while working in Atlanta AND the 3 pounds that have crept on during the year.. that would put me down to 120 – the weight I rang in the New Year at.  Ideally I’d love to be at 110.. which I would consider my ideal weight given my height and bone structure.  Maybe that will be my 2012 New Years Resolution…

I think the secret is eating healthy AND working out.  The days I had “strenuous” workouts are the days that I lost the most weight.  I love to run and I love the classes at the gym… so I will continue to eat healthy and focus on working out.  What I do not plan on doing is giving up my social life for a diet any longer.  I’m going to stick to the ‘lots of fruits and veggies no carb diet’, but not waste away my weekend by avoiding activities with friends so that I don’t drink.

 

GM Diet Day 4 – Bananas and Milk.

PaulasPonderings5 Comments

I made it thru Day 4. It was pretty easy. I love bananas.  I made myself 2 banana shakes, each of them had 2 bananas mixed with ice and soy milk (vs. regular milk).  Super yummy.  You are supposed to eat 8 bananas, but I didn’t need anymore than the 4 I ate.

I had a banana shake in the morning, a banana shake in the early afternoon, and a bowl of the soup for dinner.  I drank a lot of water today … I marked 9 glasses officially, but I know it was way more than that.  It was a warm day today and I did a bunch of stuff around the house…  I was just thirsty and I love water.

But get this, I GAINED weight!  Yes, only an ounce, but seriously?!?!?  I have no idea why, I felt good, didn’t feel hungry, stayed on target/plan..  just boggles my mind (maybe the soy milk vs. regular milk? not eating all 8 bananas?, the alcohol from the day before?).  I keep thinking to myself, why am I doing this?  I’m doing this to lose weight, not gain weight..  surely something is up.  I eat pretty healthy as it is, and cutting out carbs hasn’t been that big of a deal..  but cutting back on alcohol, and thus my social life, is a BIG DEAL.  So I’m now tinkering with the idea of giving up..  Below are the stats:

Day Date Day Morn Weight (lbs) Daily Loss/ Gain Total Loss # glasses of Water
1 29-Aug Mon. 126.1     8
2 30-Aug Tues. 124.1 (2.0) (2.0) 8
3 31-Aug Wed. 123.6 (0.5) (2.5) 7
4 1-Sep Thurs. 123.6 0.0 (2.5) 9
5 2-Sep Fri. 123.7 0.1 (2.4)  

 The only craving I had was for fruits, and specifically the organic grapes I have sitting in my fridge.  It was hard to not grab a handful every time I opened the fridge.  I’m looking forward to eating some meat on Day 5…   I have dreams of a hamburger.. I might make some ground beef and season with taco seasoning, mix it with lettuce, tomatoes, avocados, onions, a bit of cheese.. yum! 

What I miss the most is not sweets (I don’t really have a sweet tooth), but tortilla chips and beans.  I eat mexican food all the time – I love it, the chips, the beans, salsa, cheese, etc.. it’s a staple in my life, along with soft toilet paper. 😉

Wish me luck on Day 5… if I don’t lose weight, I’m NOT going to stick with the plan…

GM Diet Day 3 – Fruit and Veggies.

PaulasPonderingsLeave a comment

Summary for Day 2 – 1/2 a pound down … not as much as on Day 2, but hey, its something!  

Summary of Day 3 – zero gain, zero loss.   Day 3 was fruits and veggie day – yeah!!  I had a great breakfast and lunch…  however, the afternoon and evening took a turn for the worst.  I went with a friend golfing and had a glass of wine afterwards.  I also had a date on Wednesday night, had a great Greek salad and took a few bites of my dates skirt steak. The big no-no was the glass of red wine…  This is why I cannot go out while I’m dieting, I have zero will power…  drinking has more to do with socializing than it does with drinking…. 

Oh, and my period started..

Given all of this, I’m actually shocked I didn’t gain weight.  But I didn’t… so its o.k..  I’m interested to see how this affects the rest of my diet.

Day Date Day Morn Weight (lbs) Loss/ Gain # glasses of Water Daily Activity
1 29-Aug Mon. 126.1   8 10 min walk
10 min abs
2 30-Aug Tues. 124.1 (2.0) 8 40 min run
10 min abs
3 31-Aug Wed. 123.6 (0.5) 7 60 min golf
4 1-Sep Thurs. 123.6 0.0    

Thursday, Day 4, is all about bananas and milk.  I had debated whether to do another day of fruit and veggies, but decided to just continue with the plan…  Wish me luck – I’m crossing my fingers that I didn’t derail myself.

GM Diet Day 2 – All Veggies and a Potato For Breakfast.

PaulasPonderings1 Comment

Summary from Day 1 – down 2 pounds!  I woke up this morning, hopped on the scale, and just smiled.  Thank god Atlanta didn’t get the better of me.  I’m almost down all the weight I gained…  Yeah for me!

Day Date Day Morn Weight (lbs) Loss/ Gain Total # of glasses of Water Daily Activity
1 29-Aug Mon. 126.1   8 10 min walk
10 min abs
2 30-Aug Tues. 124.1 (2.0) 8 40 min run
10 min abs

Today is Day 2 – all veggies and a potato for breakfast.  So after making my coffee, I cleaned a potato and stuck it in the oven.  An hour later, I had a potato with 2 pats of butter and a bit of salt and pepper.  It was delicious.  I felt full, but not too full until late afternoon.  For dinner I made myself some baked eggplant with homemade chunky tomato sauce and a big salad.  I cheated and added some cheese to the eggplant and I think that was a mistake.  About 30 minutes after eating, I got really bloated and my stomach hurt for about an hour..  the same feeling I get all the time.  I’m wondering if I’m allergic to cheese?   I’m going to eat the rest of the eggplant minus the cheese tomorrow and see how I feel.  If I don’t feel bad, then I’ll know that I don’t feel good when I eat cheese.  It would be an absolute bummer because I LOVE cheese.

I went for a run today – the first one in a month. I was slower than usual but it felt so good. The weather was perfect – it was warm out, there was a slight breeze, the sky was clear and blue.. the sun on my skin felt glorious.  I feel so much better when I exercise I don’t know why I don’t “just do it” when things get busy/crazy….  seems backwards.

I ran errands tonight after dinner so I wouldn’t be tempted to relax with a glass of wine.  It worked… and now I’m home, blogging, and getting ready for bed. 

Tomorrow, Day 3, I can have both fruits and veggies except bananas and potatoes.  I’m looking forward to my berry shakes, more mango (yum!), and the grapes I just received in my organic care package from Farm Fresh To You.  It came at the perfect time as it contains a bunch of grapes, two containers of heirloom tomatoes, an eggplant, some broccoli and lettuce. I used the eggplant and a few of the heirloom tomatoes for dinner tonight…  I’ll use the tomatoes with my beef on Days 5 & 6, and the broccoli for a stir fry on days 6 & 7…   Yum!

Alright, I’m tired.. off to bed I go.  Have a great Wednesday everyone.

GM Diet Wonder Soup – My Version.

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

I really like the soup that I made for this diet. I altered it slightly to add more flavor and it came out sooo delicious.  I can see myself continuing to make this soup even after the diet is long over.  This recipe has made enough for 4-6 bowls, depending on the size of your bowls.

GM Diet Wonder Soup Recipe – Paula’s Version

Ingredients:

  • Olive oil – about a tablespoon
  • Vinegar – about a tablespoon (I used red wine vinegar)
  • Onion – 1 medium sized – chopped
  • Carrot – 1 small – chopped
  • 5-6 cloves of garlic, chopped
  • Green Pepper (Capsicum) – one half – chopped
  • Tomatoes – 1 large sized – chopped
  • Cabbage – one quarter – sliced
  • 1 envelope Liptons Onion Soup Mix
  • Water – 4+ cups (to taste)
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce to taste   

Procedure:

  1. Saute the onion and carrot in the olive oil and vinegar until golden.
  2. Add the garlic and green pepper and fry some more.
  3. Add the tomato, water, and Lipton’s soup mix and bring to a boil.
  4. Add the cabbage and close lid to cook (about 10 min)
  5. Add a squirt or two of the Hot Chili Sauce (to taste)
  6. Sprinkle pepper to taste (I didn’t use salt because of the Lipton Onion Soup Mix has enough in it)
  7. Simmer on very low boil for a few a bit more until an awesome aroma arises.
  8. Stir occasionally, add as much water you need.
  9. Eat.. Its delicious!

After making this, You could easily use low/no salt vegatable stock for the water, more garlic (I don’t think there can ever be too much garlic), add other peppers (orange and red), jalepenos (for heat), etc..  I may even make this soup again and add beef for the days that I can eat beef (days 5 and 6)..

Anyway, if you are giving the diet a shot – good luck.