Resources I used to understand and recover from betrayal due to a narcissistic discard. I didn’t know what a narcissist was… now I do. I hope this page helps you in your recovery / healing journey.

Please comment with resources you found helpful, happy to add them here so others have a comprehensive list / one-stop-shop resource center.

Table Of Contents

1. Protect Yourself
2. Resources / Support
   1. Facebook Groups
   2. Audio Books
   3. Movies / TV Shows
   4. Documentaries

Protect Yourself

How to protect yourself and get/stay out of an unhealthy relationship.

1. Go No Contact. Stop with the insanity/drama that you are in. Narcs don’t change, they only get worse. So get out and stay out.
2. Find Your Peeps. Reach out to your peeps for support. If you don’t have supportive peeps, see the Resources below for groups that will support your journey
3. Reflect. Don’t date immediately. Reflect on what happened and how this person and their behaviors became “normal”. For me, I was blindsided, but in retrospect, I didn’t see the red flags because I wasn’t aware that narcs existed. Now I do and am able to spot them right away. See Red Flags below.
4. Learn New Habits. This will stop you from getting back into the same situation with someone else. My new habits: don’t trust anyone until they earn that trust, take things slow and don’t overshare, set very clear boundaries and do not deviate from them, be willing to walk away no matter what.
5. Love Yourself First and Foremost. Always take care of yourself first, don’t ever compromise for “love”. Love shouldn’t hurt.

Red Flags.

Learn about the red flags now so you can spot a narcissist a mile away and NOT get involved with them in the first place.

• IF you don’t know Doctor Ramani yet, get to know her. She is amazing. She has a great YouTube videos on Red Flags and Not Letting A Narc Into Your Life and 4 Things That Make You Vulnerable to Narcs.
• I love Elizabeth Shaws blog Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, her Red Flags of A Narcissist lays out the behaviors and examples. She is on all the social media platforms and links are on her blog in case you prefer to watch a video vs read about it.

Resources / Support

The list below are the resources I found that really helped me recover. It takes a community to recover from the extreme betrayal that a narcissist will inflict upon you. Every journey is unique – some of these resources may resonate with you more than others.

Facebook Groups

These Facebook Groups were and are hugely helpful when I was trying to make sense of it all. I am a very private person, so I never shared my story in these groups, but I found tremendous support through others sharing their stories, offering advise and support. I don’t know how people recovered from the devastation prior to the internet.

• Chump Nation (Infidelity Support) – A support community for “Chumps”, individuals who have been cheated on. This site is NOT about saving your marriage or relationship after infidelity, but about saving your sanity. Started by the author, Tracy Schorn, who wrote the book Leave a Cheater Gain a Life.
• Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery For Women – created by Caroline Strawson, an ICF Accredited Trauma Informed Certified Coach. It’s a women’s only group that provides support to help you understand and heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse. She also has a podcast with the same name. Highly recommend it.
• Two of my favorites are also on TikTok and Instagram. Choose your platform, get the support you need. I love these two – they are so inclusive and helpful, you feel like your getting a life advice from a bestie.
  • No Contact Support Group w/ MichelleSecret1 on Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram. She also does Lives, which I found helpful when I was still in shock and didn’t know where to begin.
  • Synful on Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram. OMG this woman is creative! The way she breaks down narcs just hilarious. Here are my current favorites:
    • Narcs and their “business ideas”
    • Disengaging from Narc nonsense #1 and Disengaging from Narc nonsense #2
    • If Narcs kept it real – I wished I had seen this before I met Trash..
• The Covert Narcissist Exposed – This group was created to offer information and support to anyone dealing with the confusion and trauma created by narcissistic relationships, especially the covert narcissist. I love this group because people aren’t allowed to wallow in self pity – they offer ideas and insight on how you can improve your life so that you don’t attract narcs into your life.
• Narc Be Gone: Healing From Toxic Abuse – the memes coming from this group are the best. Simple support with this group, at least for me, I liked knowing I wasn’t alone it my recovery process.

Audio Books

I usually listen to audio books (vs. read) because I have so much to do. No matter your medium, I highly recommend these books:

• Leave a Cheater Gain a Life by Tracy Schorn. Full of snark, sass, and real wisdom about how to bounce back after the gut blow of betrayal. My favorite parts of the book are all the bullshit cheaters sling at their victims… they are all one in the same.
• Dangerous Personalities – written by FBI Profiler Joe Navarro. Fantastic book that describes the behaviors of dangerous personalities. Tiny Trash is a combination Narcissist and Predator based on his behaviors. I learned that my situation could have been far far worse than it was…. but now I have the knowledge to see these personalties coming so I can avoid them.
• If you are tired of self help books, there is a good list of fictional books in this article.
• Psychopath Free by Jackson MacKenzie. This is next on my list, gets high reviews and tons of recommendations in all of the facebook groups I am in.

Movies / TV Shows

If you need to see it to believe it, here a movies and documentaries to help you understand what

• Best Narcissism And Gaslighting Movies, TV Shows. My favorites are:
  • TV Shows: Dirty John, Tinder Swindler
  • Movies: The Talented Mr. Ripley
• Maid on Netflix. I watched this 6 months ago and still think about it everyday. It haunts me how hard it is for woman who want to escape abuse to actually do so because the system is rigged to not help them.

Documentaries

It is really hard for family and friends to understand what a “narc” is. I know that no one in my world knew what it was… honestly, until I experienced it myself, I would never have understood it. Here are two documentaries that I found that do a good job explaining what a relationship with a narcissist is like. Watch these to know that a) you are not alone, and b) make sure it resonates with you so you can share with family and friends.

• Narcissist Abuse Documentary on YouTube by Aletta Meijer. Free. Watch it yourself and see if you agree. I feel like every story is about a covert narcissist…they are nice at first, then they slowly tear you down. I think a lot of people don’t get how calculated and insidious they are.
• Running with a Covert Narcissist on YouTube by James Bonato. Less professional but no less impactful.

Do you have resources you want to share with others? Leave it in the comments.