Love hurts

Its My Fault You See.

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

Anyone who knows me knows I can’t leave well enough alone… I’ve got to know,  why did Mr. Showtime fall off the face of the earth?

So, I sent Mr. Showtime an email, a nice one, basically stating that I had enjoyed getting to know him, but I was now clear, based on his actions, that he was not interested in pursuing anything with me, I told him that I would have preferred for him to tell me in person, that I’m just that kind of gal.   I also let him know that I would be sending his things to him and asked that he return my eye pillow.  Wished him well… yada yada.

The good news is he responded.  The bad news is that I’m still in the dark….  here is his response.

 Hi “Paula”,
I will forward your eye pillow of course, and thank for the nice note and for forwarding my things. While we had an amazing time, you made it perfectly clear on several occasions that you don’t do drama, and I have some sudden and serious drama in my life right now, so to spare you the drama I thought it best to walk away. I am sorry if my actions caused you any pain, but I assure you the drama would have been worse.
Please take care of yourself.

 I do appreciate that he responded, and I’m relieved that he is still alive (albeit in a some sort of “serious drama” hell).  I’m not any closer to an answer, but this will just have to do. It’s clear to me he has zero intention of calling me back or reconnecting with me.  

So to answer the question from my original entry – how do people do it?  Here is a good example of how they do it – they just shut down/off and walk away.

And on a side note, unlike Dear Paula Letter Writer’s response, Mr. Showtime’s response seems to be his own (not cut and pasted from other emails, websites, etc.)….

I will have to update my Roster to reflect my time with Mr. Showtime.  As quickly as this unexpected goodness came into my life, it has also ended.

Not Home. No Candy.

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

This is the sign I hung on my door this evening.  Yep, the fun hater in the neighborhood is me.  Never thought it would be – I love Halloween….  but today, this week, this year, not me. 

Mr. Showtime and I had planned a simple party, a Napoleon Dynamite character party, where I would be LaFawnDah and he would be my Kip.   Obviously that didn’t happen.  When will I get to be LaFawnDuh??? 

I just had dinner with GFP, and I have had enough to drink to say things I probably shouldn’t… but here goes:

  • Love GFP…  because his friendship means the world to me, and there are no strings attached. I love that he is in my life… and he wouldn’t be if he was as black and white as Mr. Showtime and Dear Paula Letter Writer  were about relationships.   
  • I make the best Pomegranate Martini’s … so delicious they are dangerous.
  • Breaking Bad is the best series EVER. I just finished Season 3 on Netflix… Bummer for me.  Season 4 just finished but Hulu doesn’t have  rights to run it (along with a bunch of other shows).  I’m getting close to discontinuing my relationship with Hulu.
  • My parents are coming to visit this weekend… I’m planning a Meet the Parents night…  more deets coming.
  • Unicorns is gone.  Once again she has galloped out of my life, into her own…   she will be living in Boston soon. I can’t wait to visit. 🙂

In general, I spent the day/the last few days feeling down (Katie’s departure, The end of my time with Mr. Showtime). Its been hard to get up these last few mornings… not too hard to pick up a glass of XXX (goose, wine, etc)…   I need to snap out of it quickly….  The upcoming holidays surely don’t help.  I’ll figure something out…

Oh, I also have decided to start focusing on my New Years Resolutions.  I take them very seriously, and I need something to focus on right now…  work has been good but very frustrating, and my love life.. well.. hasn’t been that great.

O.k.. so I’m done with my public pity party.  Halloween has come and gone… I didn’t pass out OR eat any candy today……  Makes this a good day in my book.