Paula's Ponderings

I know… I read all my blog friends updates, and I give none of my own.   I LOVE reading the updates… no matter how short or lengthy they are.  And as much as I enjoy them, I don’t seem to be able to write until I’m overwhelmed with a bullet list of activities to share.   I need to follow in the footsteps of my favorite bloggers,and get better about sharing on a regular basis..

A quick couple of updates for now :

• Old Boyfriend:  I sent an email to My Mr. Big to wish him a happy birthday.. his email address is no longer active.  I’ve spent a lot of this year holding on to him…. . missing him, missing him desperately at times.  The fact that his email address does not exist anymore smacks me over the head (and heart) with a dose of reality.  He has moved on, and that I alone have been the one holding on to the idea of him, the idea of us.  I thought we had something so special .. and we did.. but that was then, it this not now.  An “email account that you tried to reach does not exist” message from Gmail” has knocked some sense into me … As hard as it is to admit, he has moved on, and as special as what we shared was, it is no longer.  It takes two to make something magical, and as much as I love(d) him, he is not in that magical place with me.  Time for me to grow up, get a move on, and get over it. Those of you who know me will know that this effort to move on will be a new years resolution…   
• New Boyfriend:  I met a gentleman in my favorite bar in early November… we really get along well.  I just spent a full weekend with him. Yes, a  full 48 hours.  And I actually liked it.  I did not only not tire of his company, I actually enjoyed it.  The even better news?  I actually miss him tonight.  Crazy… He has met my family (AbFab and family were in town for 10 days), they like him.. My friends CLicisous and her hubby have met him and love him…..  All goodness.  However, (isn’t there always a but??), he is a bit older than me and looks it.  So, he is older and looks older, I’m 40 and look younger.  I never thought I’d care what others thing, but I do feel a bit self-conscious when I realize that people are staring….  wondering if I’m his daughter vs. his lover…   He is so sweet and good to me, we have a lot in common (kids the same age, same philosophy in life, same politics, etc.), and so much fun together…  I’m going to ignore the looks from others and give this a go.. …
• Family Visit:  AbFab  and her family came out to stay with me for a few weeks … God, I’m still missing them. It was crazy around the house with 4 other people, but a good crazy.  I am in love with AbFab.. and her girls, Mayonaise and Shaynayhay are awesome.  I didn’t get as much time with them as I would have liked (I still had to work), but boy, are these girls full of energy, personality, and plain old goodness. 
• Parents Visit:  My parents came to CA and stayed a couple of days with me.  I loved seeing them, relaxed, and enjoying themselves n a different environment.  They seem to like it, and I really enjoy having them see my friends, experience my life.   I love them dearly, as I get older I realize how much they have given me, how much they have influenced me, the person I’ve become.  They are good peeps… and  plan on spending more time with them in the coming new year.

I’ve had a couple of hard work experiences lately, I’ll write more about this later as it has to do with personality conflicts…  too much to explain in this update…

I’m looking forward to these last few weeks of the year,  have a lot of work to do, but it’s also the time  take to reflect on this year, form new goals for next year, and enjoy my family and friends….

Thanks for your patience.. I’ll get better at blogging regularly once again.