Friends & Family

Anything and everything that has to do with my family.. immediate family (furry felines), my Utah Family, and my Friends who are like family.

Waiting For Moms Test Results.

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So, a lot of you have asked how my mom is doing….   She had another episode (shooting pain in her shoulder that is so immense she had to lay down…. she was at work).  My dad took her to the doctor and she had an MRI… . we get the results back today.

I’m in Utah now, hanging with her.  She says she is fine, but she’s also taken 2 loratabs (if any of you know pain killers, this is the good stuff)..  I’m not sure there is anything I can do at this point, but just talk with her, get her water, etc… 

I also have a few people to see, mostly AbFab, Mayonaise, and Shanaynay.  I will also be visiting with my other niece, LilDarlin’, and celebrating my fathers birthday…  All good stuff.

Happy Birthday to Me!

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Yes, that’s right, I was born 40 years ago, on Mothers Day.  I know, what a tragedy blessing for my parents.  Oh, and I think I’ve forgotten to mention that I’m a twin – so my mom and dad had TWO of me at the same time. 

I have been celebrating my birthday for the last two weeks.. out almost every single night with a friend or two.  I am SO LUCKY to have such love and friendship in my life.  I know, I don’t have the “trappings” of a successful 40-year-old – I don’t have a man, I don’t have kids.  But I’m so happy!  I don’t think I’ve ever been so consciously happy.  So I’m 40 .. look at me – happy, healthy, and with a tremendous amount of love in my life.

Here’s a quick list (umm hmm, surprise, a list!) of my celebratory activities:

  • I went dancing last weekend in SF with a few of my best girlfriends – Love In The City Weekend
  •  spent the week catching up with really good friends, even had  a ‘pool party’ with one of ’em!
  • this Friday night I went out with my local crew and had another impromptu dance party.   Trapeze is my all time favorite restaurant and they treated us like royalty.  Then a few of us headed over to the Vinyl Room, a local bar/dance place, and danced the night away until others started arriving…  We are always up for starting a dance party (we love an open dance floor)..
  • Last night I had dinner with my fist best girlfriend – Bitter Betty (my name is/was Pissy Patty)… more about our friendship below…

Bitter and I were inseparable…  we did everything together.  Our friendship waned when I lost all confidence in myself and became a recluse (yes, much like what happened a few years ago)…  We talked about this last night.  What I love about Bitter is that we haven’t skipped a beat – its like we’ve never been apart.  I love this woman – she is amazing, smart, absolutely stunning, and the nicest person I’ve ever met.  When I was feeling ugly towards other people, I used to think to myself, “what would Bitter do?” … Bitter would always smile and just move away from the bad energy.  O.k.. so yes,  I love this woman!  So glad we have reconnected after all these years, and that she is still her same, sweet fabulous self!  Go Bitter!

O.k.. as you can see I’m living life to the fullest … I am finally 40 (been waiting years for this moment)…   as a friend said to me this morning, “Glad you finally grew up and have joined us at the adult table”…    That’s right, today, I’m officially a grown up!!

Mom Is Down.

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Wow, Mom is in the hospital.  She is down.  This woman is the strongest woman I know.  I’m numb.  She may have had a heart attack… may have had a bad reaction to something.   Either way, she ended up in the emergency room.  When I spoke to her, she was “drunk”…   I made light of her condition, largely because I have no idea of how to deal with this situation.  Mom, the rock of the family, needs help, whether she admits it or not.

God, my heart is heavy tonight.  What do I do.. go home to her home….   stay home and deal….  I love this woman. She is the most significant woman in my life  – so much of her experience is who I am, what I am today…. What do I do???  Definitely makes me think of what is important in life…

Love In the City Weekend.

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So, I had a fabulous weekend.  I spent the night in the great city of San Francisco with my best girlfriends.  It was a Sex In the City weekend, but we were keeping it PG-13 …   the Queen tells her kids that she is watching Love in The City (she has two boys…  ).. so thus, a Love In The City Weekend for all of us fabulous gals!

We went in on Saturday, shopped, cocktailed, dined, and danced the night away…  so many great things happened, the highlights are below:

  • Our Accommodations were lovely.  The Prescott Hotel.  Love this hotel – the rooms are small, but have a lot of character AND the staff are just so damn nice and the location is perfect for our outing.   We stayed on the club level floor… and had all the perks that movie stars receive.  My only recommendation to you as a guest is to bring your own toilet paper. The toilet paper is awful. My advice to Prescott, UPGRADE YOUR TP!!!!   It shouldn’t be so bad given that you are a more upscale boutique hotel. 
  • My friends are awesome.  Lordy, these ladies are a good time.  We shared stories, laughed a ton, and just reconnected.  We do these get-togethers once or twice a year, and they are absolutely the most fulfilling and fun trips.
  • Adventures were to be had.  Boy o’ boy we ladies know how to have a good time!!  If you ever run into me, ask me about the following:
    • “I want VIP, I’ve got $50”.  This is the exact statement said by one of the ladies as we regrouped to figure out what we were doing next.  She said it the hotel concierge – at midnight…    he actually volunteered to walk us to a club a few blocks away to make sure we got VIP treatment.   🙂  We did NOT go to this club… 
    • Pizza, Pizza, Pizza.  One of the ladies was starving and demanded pizza.  Which is great – she needs to eat (if she wasn’t so damn nice, you would hate her because she is so damn beautiful and has a very slender, lanky, perfect body).  Anyway, we went to eat pizza…  at midnight.   The funniest thing about this is that the next morning, she joined us for breakfast, she said, “whose bright idea was it to go eat another meal at midnight”?  Ummm… yeah… we had to let her know, after we all snorted coffee out of noses when we burst out laughing, that it was indeed her bright idea. 
    • Dancing Queens.  I love my dear friend Jewels.  She and I are always up for a good dance.  Doesn’t matter where we are or what the style of dance is… I can count on her to get out on the dance floor and cut a rug with me.  I’ve always thought that the floor isn’t just for couples or people who have dates.. it’s for everyone. Even the single girl who loves to dance!  Jewels feels the same – no need to wait for someone to ask – move it, shake it, white-board it!!  🙂

I will write when I feel like it.  I’m tired… it was a long day today.  Good news is that I found a pair of fabulous sexy shoes (on sale at a discount designer clothing store… o.k. peeps, its Loehmanns!  I love this store)  and my front lawn sprinklers are working again.  Saved the grass in the nick of time! 

Quick Update

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So, I finally have some time to catch my breath.  I’m in Boston, just finished up with some training.  I got to work with my new account executive (my new work partner in crime), delivered a new demo, and learn new and interesting things.  All fun… but exhausting.

Because of my last experience with work travel, I decided to stay Thursday night and fly home Friday….  this was a mistake this time around.  Everyone took off today (all are from the East Coast, making it a bit easier).  So, I’m now hanging out in my hotel room, drinking wine, and watching a movie. I would much rather be on a flight home, sleep in my own bed with my furry ladies.  Oh well, this is the way it worked out… not a problem.

So many things to catch up on. And in the spirit of the list, here are the events:

  • Weekend in Boston.  My weekend with my BFF Unicorns was fabulous!   We planned for nothing, experienced everything.  We laughed, cried, drank, slept, flirted, etc..  We also went to a bead store, Bead and Fiber, where I picked up a few things so I can finish up on a few jewelry projects.  I have many many hobbies, one of them being hula hooping which I’ve shared, another is jewelry making. I loooove making my own pieces, one-of-a-kinds…   its a creative outlet, one that I enjoy immensely.  One of these days I’lll post a few pictures of my pieces… 
  • Invite To Hawaii.  One of the men on my roster, Mr. Energy, EG Chicken Legs from here on out, invited me to Hawaii for a long weekend.  I know, WOW.  I decided that I would go and check it out.  Why not?    My heart certainly misses the men from the past, but they aren’t available so whats a girl to do?  Move on is right…?    Not sure Mr. EG Chicken Legs is the right guy for me, but no way to know for sure unless I dive in and check it out. 
  • Presentation.  I did a new presentation at work, and actually got kuddo’s for doing something different and interesting.. I guess I’m starting to feel like I know the stuff (which can be a very dangerous thing)…

So, two more things I wanted to write about … 

  1. one of them is a situation I experienced while with BFF Unicorn.  We were at the Renaissance Marriott in  Boston, which is a fabulous hotel… at the bar we met a gentleman, a young one at that.  He was very intrigued by us….  he invited us back to his room, which was a suite with a private jacuzzi…   and I blurted out “We Have Swimsuits!!!” . Yes I did.  And we did – I packed two swimsuits so BFF Unicorn and  I could enjoy the public pool/jacuzzi.  Well, needless to say… I do not think he cared that I packed swimsuits…    Nothing happened. We enjoyed one more drink with the good-looking man smart but young enough to be my son…  I’m such a dork….
  2. the other is that I’m thinking about starting a new page, an advice to men column, sharing my experiences about what men should do to get a lady, vs. what they actually do, which doesn’t get the lady.  Men do make bold moves, put themselves out there, but sometimes, their follow-thru is lack-luster, and they lose an opportunity … my advice column would be what TO DO..   

O.k.. I’m off to bed.. I’m exhausted. I’ve got to get up early and catch my flight home.

Lists, Lists, and More Lists.

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So, I just got home from C-Licious’ house…  Had dinner and cocktails.  Another Saturday night with one of my dearest friends.   My friend said these words to me, that she practices “purposeful gratefulness” …   When she said it, it stuck with me….  I can’t get these words out of my head.  She is so right, life, and how we see it, IS a choice. 

So, after eating a bit of dinner (homemade pasta sauce with extra fresh basil and parmasan cheese), and drinking a bit of “house wine”, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to create a page for all my lists… and this page needs to contain links  to my lists:

  • My “Perfectly Imperfect” List – the original list, the list of things about me that will never change and that new friends and potential suitors need to know about.  All my friends already know these things about me – and have helped defined the list. These are the quirky things that make me “perfectly imperfect”.
  • My Grateful List – because I think about it all the time, I’d love to have a running list..  inspired by my dear friend C-Licious.
  • My Bucket List – things I want to do/have done before I kick it.
  • “Shit That Bugs Me” List – a list of things that just bug me – you know, that person standing in the line at the bank and talking on the phone..  the idiot who drives 35 in the fast lane…  we all feel it.. I’m just going to list it.

I know, I know, I’m soooo into lists right now..  I can’t help it.  Have I mentioned that I have OCD?    I should probably add my obsession with lists to My Pefectly Imperfect List. 

🙂

Thoughts and Reflections.

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So, I’ve been busy with work this week (all goodness, its been a very successful week professionally), but in the back of my mind, relationship “stuff” has been swirling thru my head.  This has largely to do with a couple of events:

  • My Niece’s sperm donor (guy got my sister pregnant and took off, without even a good-bye) has reached out to her – on Facebook no less. She hasn’t seen/heard from him since she was 6 (so almost 15 years).
  • The fact that I reconnected with my first San Francisco girlfriend after 8 or so years…   its like we haven’t missed a beat. She’s the best, fun, most gorgeous friend ever!!  Love Her!!
  • Having a man drop off the roster…. and not being interested in adding another person to the roster.

I’ve been thinking about the relationships I most care about, the ones that are/have been the most honest, most rewarding, supportive. 

  1. Of course, the first set of folks are my girlfriends.  They have been with me thru thick and thin.  Most I’ve been friends with before I met my Ex…   stayed with me and supported me, no, propped me up and got me active and engaged during my divorce and recovery….   I wouldn’t know what I would do without these folks in my life.    My friend C-Licious, who got me out for runs, let me cry and run without judgement…   Who adopted me and let me go everywhere with her and her husband (and family, friends, etc..)…  My other best friends, HOPR team, who, hung out with me in “the danger zone” (aka house on Kehoe), who never judged my crazy, reclusive tendendies…  who were always up for taking me out and showing me a good time, even if that meant walking to Celia’s and letting me have too many margaritas.  To all the other friends who wouldn’t let our relationship die with my marriage, and who I adore and cherish every moment with today (thank you ladies for that!!!)..   I could write a book on how fan-tabulous all my lady-friends are.  
  2. The second set would be my family – mostly my niece and my parents ( I’m not real close to my other sisters).  These folks have been nothing but supportive, being my cheerleaders thru thick and thin.  I remember when I told my parents about my divorce (I was apprehensive about it – they liked him)… I’ll never forget my dads first words – “lifes to short to be unhappy”.  Not “are you sure you know what your doing (dumbass)”, “what about kids”, etc..  but, “we support you and your happiness 200%”.    Makes me tear up just thinking about it.  And my niece, who doesn’t forget about me ever, even though she is 20, married with 2 kids, and working full time.  Always calls me, reaching out to me, keeping me updated with her and the kids’ goings-on.  I love that.
  3. The last would be the last 2 guys I’ve dated.  I know, I don’t like that Dear Paula Letter writer broke up with me via email, didn’t communicate with me about how he was feeling and just reacted to his thoughts and feelings with total withdrawl.  I get that he was doing the best he could do, but the shutout hurt.  Anyway, what I liked about the relationship was how easy and fun it was.  I dont really know how honest he was as I didn’t have the time to really get to know him, but he had a great energy, and we had a great energy together.  Who knows where it could have gone, but it got me thinking that people can connect in this crazy world.   The other would be the man I saw on and off for almost 18 months before that… the first man I dated after my divorce.  It was and still is the most honest, open, caring relationship that I’ve been in.  We had a lot of stuff going on in  our lives, but our time together was about spending quality time together.  He definitely took care of me in a way I could appreciate.. and I did the same for him. We laughed all the time… there was a connection and energy that we shared that I’ve not had with anyone else.   I miss him.

Because of these folks, Iam finding dating a lot less interesting now..    I’ve not met anyone I’ve really connected with …  and I’m just not sure if its something you can go and find on a dating website.. I think it has to hit you upside the head at the most random and unexpected times.    I’m pretty sure I’m NOT going to add a new guy to the roster, I think I’m just going to see what happens with the two on the roster right now.  I dont know if I’ve just not spent enough time with these guys, or if there is just not something there… but none of them knock my socks off …  and I don’t want to miss spending time with peeps from 1 and 2 above for just anyone. 

Oh, and one more thing. Its so funny that this post is in list form.  I have created at least a 1/2 dozen lists this week… I’m a list-maniac right now!!

Girls Weekend Here I Come!

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So, I love it when an adventure comes together…    I’m heading to Boston for work in a few weeks, but this time I’m going to stay a weekend and visit with one of my best friends!  We had no plans to see each other 48 hours ago…. then, magic happened, of the unicorn and rainbows kind.

I woke up on Friday with an email in my inbox from my dear friend, stating she was going to be coming stateside (she currently lives in London.. I know, awesome) the first 2 weeks in April.  I read it and my heart jumped!  I too, will be on the East Coast during this time.  We Skyped, made a plan, and I just booked my ticket.  I will be heading to Boston early so that we can “do what we do” best…  hang out, catch up, have adventures, and make memories!

Now all I have to do is make arrangements with the cat sitter… and I’m good to go.  Life is very good – full of adventure … I love it!

Feeling Much Better.

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Gosh, what a bit of time off can do for your mental health.

I’m feeling much better.  So happy to NOT be on an airplane right now.  Sophie has been found – two ladies dropped her off Thursday night with the cat sitter.  In this world, where its just me and the cats, I need help.  Patti, my cat sitter has been like a second mother to my little ladies.  I will forever be greateful for having her in my life and all her help.

I did not do much around the house or errand wise, instead, I took care of myself:

  • I’ve gone running twice now and my body craves more.  I love California – the fact that I can go running pretty much anytime is amazing.  Who needs a therapist when there is the great outdoors and all thoughts, angst, and solutions just work themselves out?
  • I spent time with great friends who are like family.  They listened to me, talked with me, shared a meal and drank with me.  God what a comforting feeling to be amongst good friends. 
  • I slept very well in my bed. My bed is the best ever ….   I could stay in it all day, every day if I was independently wealthy…

I love having my home to come home to.  Yes its still unorganized, and yes, there is a bunch of things to do (most of which I need help with – putting rugs under beds, bed skirts on beds, installing a new towel rack, medicine cabinet.. the list goes on and on), BUT its mine… its a place I can call home, where I can be safe, warm, and comfortable. 

Yes, you can see, Paula is returning to her normal self.  I have learned a lot about myself these last 3 weeks, the most important things are that:  

  • Even when I feel down and out, I’m still a strong and nice person, 
  • I have a really hard time asking for help, and
  • dating is so new to me!

I have more to share on these topics, and when I get to a place where writing it all down helps me, I’ll share.

For those of you who reached out to me these last few days, thank you so much, it means a lot to me.  Your kind, supportive words were exactly what I needed.

Sophie is Missing Again.

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Sophie has gone missing again.  I knew spending 3 weeks out-of-town would be tough on her….  I thought that having a cat sitter would help alleviate her anxiety.   I know she is a cat, but she loves/craves/needs human attention/affection.  She needs it more than most humans I know.  She is such a love bird.

I recieved a message on Wednesday about Sophie from a total stranger.  This woman, Monica, called to let me know that Sophie had been “found” …. that she had taken Sophie into her home.  She called at midnight EST so I wasn’t able to respond until Thursday (3 hour time difference)..  I called her immediately.  I thought we lived only a few houses apart…. I told her to just let Sophie go, that she would find her way home.  She left me a message stating she let Sophie go Thursday eve, but Sophie has not shown up at the house as of yet.   I’ve called Monica a few times, left messages, and she has not responded.  The cat sitter, bless her heart, has gone above and beyond to find her….    to no avail.  Sophie has been gone for 2 nights now, Thursday night, if she doesn’t show up, is her 3rd night away from the house.

I’m beside myself. My heart hurts..  I feel so stressed and helpless about being so far away and not being able to do anthing.  My life is taking forever to progress.. minutes feel like hours.. I’m not focused on anything but finding Sophie….  I’m also overwhelmed by the fact that when I finally do get home, I can’t do anything until Monday (SPCA doesn’t “do” lost and found on Saturday)…. I’m not functioning well…  I thought I was stronger than this, but I guess I’m not.  I’m at the end of my rope.. I’ve got nothing left to give.  This event has pushed me over the edge.

I’ve taken a full ambien so I can sleep tonight.  One more day of training and 8 hours of travel… then I can be home to whistle for Sophie…. I hope it isn’t too late.

Here are the links to her first MIA and our renion.