Just a few short months ago I was hanging out by a pool, relaxing, and putting off my work stress for the day. It’s been a ridiculous journey and has only gotten worse. Which is why I haven’t written – as my parents taught me, if I don’t have anything nice to say, it’s best to say nothing. So I’ve written nothing.
Work stress has been overwhelming. So much so that my Dr. says that I will need medication if I do not control it. So I’ve been meditating and medicating to help myself deal with the high level of stress. I do NOT want my adrenals to shut down and require prescription drugs for the rest of my life.
But now a family tragedy has pushed my work stress out of my mind. My nieces husband was in a work accident and has lost both of his legs. Yes, his legs are gone. He is still in intensive care and is headed into his 3rd surgery tomorrow.
I HATE being so far away. I do not like that I’m not able to be there, to help, to support, to do anything, even if it’s just sitting with my niece at the hospital. I feel so helpless.. She has so much family around her now she has requested that I come out in 2-3 weeks… which of course I will.
I have set up a gofundme for them here – https://www.gofundme.com/newlegsforjohn – please donate and/or share this URL with others. Any little bit helps. The way I figure it, if 1000 people donate $50, AbFab’s family will have enough financial support to get them through the next year without worrying about losing their home.
I’m not sure what else to say. Except that all the whining I’ve done over the last 3 years has me feeling spoiled and ungrateful. Life does suck sometimes and it will toss a whammy or two my way, but at least I have my limbs. I now have a new perspective …
I’m sure my new-found perspective will get me writing again.
Gosh, what a bit of time off can do for your mental health.
I’m feeling much better. So happy to NOT be on an airplane right now. Sophie has been found – two ladies dropped her off Thursday night with the cat sitter. In this world, where its just me and the cats, I need help. Patti, my cat sitter has been like a second mother to my little ladies. I will forever be greateful for having her in my life and all her help.
I did not do much around the house or errand wise, instead, I took care of myself:
- I’ve gone running twice now and my body craves more. I love California – the fact that I can go running pretty much anytime is amazing. Who needs a therapist when there is the great outdoors and all thoughts, angst, and solutions just work themselves out?
- I spent time with great friends who are like family. They listened to me, talked with me, shared a meal and drank with me. God what a comforting feeling to be amongst good friends.
- I slept very well in my bed. My bed is the best ever …. I could stay in it all day, every day if I was independently wealthy…
I love having my home to come home to. Yes its still unorganized, and yes, there is a bunch of things to do (most of which I need help with – putting rugs under beds, bed skirts on beds, installing a new towel rack, medicine cabinet.. the list goes on and on), BUT its mine… its a place I can call home, where I can be safe, warm, and comfortable.
Yes, you can see, Paula is returning to her normal self. I have learned a lot about myself these last 3 weeks, the most important things are that:
- Even when I feel down and out, I’m still a strong and nice person,
- I have a really hard time asking for help, and
- dating is so new to me!
I have more to share on these topics, and when I get to a place where writing it all down helps me, I’ll share.
For those of you who reached out to me these last few days, thank you so much, it means a lot to me. Your kind, supportive words were exactly what I needed.