In Good Spirits.

I have no other way to describe my mood.  I had a tough work day today, but there are two things that happened to me today that have put me in good spirits.

First, when I woke up this morning, I felt refreshed.  Refreshed in the way that I’ve not felt in a very long time.  For the first time in a very long time, I didn’t check my calendar to figure out when I could squeeze in a nap during the day. This process has been going on for years. FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY, I DID NOT do this.  This, my friends, is the beginning of a new habit.  One that I want to keep.  I am so tired of feeling exhausted, and for the first time in a long time I didn’t feel exhausted. It goes me hope that things can/will be different very soon. It has invigorated me, inspired me to make the best effort possible to have more of these kinds of days.

Second, when I got home from work, I had a care package from my nieces waiting for me. I opened it hungerly.  Below are the pictures that I can share. How can you NOT love me? I’m gorgeous (a bit cross-eyed but my good energy/spirit will help overcome that).  At the end of the day, My cats and I are SO LOVED and ADORED.

2015-05-20-How The Kids Perceive Me 2015-05-20-Fluff_Ball

This has me thinking very seriously about moving to Utah.  The loves of my life are in Utah. Why am I not in Utah, soaking up more of this love on a daily/weekly basis?

My niece Mayonaise drew these for me. She is super talented…  her mind is imaginative, playful. She is such a special girl. I love her to the ends fo the earth.  I do have an amazing relationship with my niece AbFab and her daughters.. Here is how it is best described:


Yes, you do see my raising the roof with my hands.   Oh Yeah!  I’ve got nothing in CA except a job that causes me stress and consternations every day.  What if I could leave all this, work in Utah, and be close to the people I care most about?  I’m thinking hard right now… feel free to share your pearls of wisdom.

Decorators Envy.

mcmansionI’m in Utah.  I had a few customers to visit late this week, and decided to stay the weekend and stay with family.  I’m now staying with AbFab and her two awesome kids Mayonnaise and Shahnaynay.  4 and 6 now, 5 and 7 in very short order. My twin also came up for the evening, and she looks awesome.  I got a few pictures of us together, which is a rarity for us.

Since I’ve last talked about AbFab, she has gotten divorced from the kids’ father and has since remarried to a great guy. I’ll call him RoadRage for now… he is a very nice calm person, RoadRage is a great name for him as its opposite of the personality I’ve seen of him.

Anyway, they now live in a 5800 square foot home.  Its GORGEOUS. I love it.  It’s not the size that I love, it’s the dream of decorating and making a home.  It’s turning each room into a masterpiece, with color, with furniture, with flare. I can see why rich people keep buying new homes even though the ones they already have are Martha Stewart perfect.

On a personal front, I’ve been sick lately – a combo of allergies and a head cold.  I took a long nap today, it was good for me. I feel much better. Tomorrow, Sunday, I’m cooking dinner for the kids and my family…. Its going to be gluten-free (my new diet) but delicious.  I love to cook, it’s nice to cook for others.

O.k. so that’s it.  Not much tonight, but a little bit of something.  Which is what I’d love to see/read from Grey Goose…  hint hint GG, give me something!

Writing A Bio – What Do You Say When You Don’t Have “Wife/Husband and Kids”?

I will write more about my new job (I LOVE it) later when I have more time. Right now I have to write a professional/personal bio that my manager can send to the masses.  All the examples I see include what people do in their free time – which most often includes a spouse and kids.  Now, if you don’t have a spouse and kids, what do you say?  I can’t put what I usually do – hang out with friends and sleep, eat, and drink to my merriest content… that I’m not married, have no intention of being married, and that I’ve just shacked up with my boyfriend, and that my cats rule the roost.  That they poop in the neighbors garden and I’m now training them to poop in our backyard…  that I’ve not completed one New Year’s resolution this year..

So, without all that brazen honesty, here is what I’m thinking:

Paula most recently joins us from XXX where she was the lead tech sales consultant for the business rules process platform in the Telecom and Media vertical.  Her role was to lead a team thru all stages of a longer-term enterprise sales cycle.  Prior to XXX, she held various consulting, development, marketing, and technical pre-sales roles at Andersen Consulting, PeopleSoft (pre-acquisition), Crossworlds, IBM, and Corticon.  Paula is originally from Provo, Utah and is a graduate of the University of Utah in Salt Lake City.
Paula lives in San Mateo with her boyfriend and two cats and spends her free time with friends doing any number of activities: exercising, cooking, eating, wine tasting, etc.  She has quite a few hobbies, the two that top the list right now are jewelry making and hula hooping.  Learning to sew, knit (again), and speak Spanish are on next years New Years Resolution list.

If any of you have any comments, suggestions on what I should really include that helps me stand out and seem interesting and not like a crazy cat lady please let me know.. I’ve got to get this out by the end of the day.

On “PTO” and a Few Random Thoughts.

So, I’ve taken Today and tomorrow, Thursday and Friday as  “PTO”, Personal Time Off .  I still need to work a little bit, largely due to my OCD….  I have to do it.  I can’t not do it, which intrigues me – I’m so tired of working, soooo tired of working nights and weekends…. I finally get a few days off, and I work.  I know why – I know it will make a difference.  And my name is on it.  I’m only as good as my work.  I DO NOT, will not deliver shoddy, less than perfect work. Thus, my working during my PTO.

I’m in Utah now, staying at my parents house (I love my parents, I can’t even remember why I didn’t like them anymore). The plan was to attend AbFab’s college graduation ceremony on Saturday.  I just found out today that there won’t be one.  I’m not disappointed for myself – I get to spend time with AbFab in a less structured environment.. but I’m disappointed for her. I really wanted her to go thru the ceremony.  She has worked very hard to complete this program (she’s a Pharmacy Tech, works at a local hospital, mixing and dispensing meds to patients, how cool is that?!?!?).   I wanted her to experience an “end” of her hard work..  to solidify the end and a new beginning…   This is just my want for her, she seems to be fine with her choices so I’ll move on.

Friday night I’m spending the evening with LilDarlin. We are going to paint our nails and watch movies. I’m also going to set her up with new, cool, music…   That was her Xmas wish – to spend an evening with Auntie “Paula”…  not a thing, not money, but time with the coolest Aunt in the World.  I know, makes your heart melt doesn’t it?!?

Alright, enough about work and family, here are the few random thoughts:

  • Went out with my Utah Realtor last night (Thursday). He had on a ‘skin’ vest.. very similar to the one I wrote about in a previous blog – Date With My Utah Realtor.  The funny thing is we ended up hanging out with two very cool girls who commented on his vest.  I couldn’t stop thinking about telling my blog fans about it (who else can I share it with?!?)
  • I just searched my own website for the link for the above blog and I realized that I’m now the first google search return for Paulas Ponderings (I wasnt before… ).  I also realize that I can’t search my own blog for links.. bullshit I tell you. I’ll change that if I can.
  •  Utah is so beautiful – a gorgeous state. If they could get over the mormon thing, seperate chuch and state, Utah would be the new California
  • I’m done with Law and Order SVU.  I stil like Law and Order, I’m just done with the whining and crying of the victims.  For those of you who respond with anger… I get it… .. but if you continue to support the victim mentality, you will get a victim.  Done with victims..
  • I got my hair colored, it looks fabulous, I look fabulous.  I really like my new colorist/stylist… but she works next to the person I’ve been going to for years (they work at the same salon, and in my defense I ONLY went to her because my colorist/stylist was not available multiple times)…  still, when I had my color done with the new gal on Wednesday, my original gal was there… a tiny bit uncomfortable.

Regarding the house, I’m working on a purchase contract.  ATrain is helping me with it.  The lender did not call ATrain, me, or the realtor today…. he is a friend of ATrains.  ATrain says if he doesn’t call back or call the agent to pull a contract together that we can work different avenues (meaning I get to find someone)… Its strange having someone ‘help’ me – I didn’t ask for the help, I really don’t know how to ask for help, ATrain offered.  If it works out I wil be forever grateful. 

Alright. Enough updating. I’m exhausted. Ill write more later. Have a great Friday everyone.

Meet The Sig Others Weekend.

Last week it was visiting my parents in Utah. This weekend ATrain and I spent the weekend in the city that never sleeps:  NYC babe! 

Unicorns and I were talking a month back about how much we wanted to see each other…and meet each others new beaus.  She found a great deal on hotel rooms on our company CorperatePerks website. We booked the rooms, bought tickets for the The Book Of Mormon show and the plan was made.  In addition to meeting up with Unicorns, GFP also happened to be in NYC with his new girlfriend…So, we had ourselves a “Meet the Significant Others” weekend in New York City!

We stayed at the Waldorf Astoria, a great older hotel with larger than normal rooms.  We upgraded our room to get a King+ junior suite so the room was bigger than normal.  It had additional space that had a couch and a few chairs (and a unstocked wetbar).  It was really nice. 

Friday night we all had drinks at the Waldorf then off to dinner at a great French Bistro on the Upper East Side.  Saturday we all did our own thing during the day. ATrain and I met up for drinks/dinner with Unicorns and her new beau. GFP did his own thing with his girlfriend….

Sunday was a lazy day but we had to meet early for dinner because we wanted to eat before our show, which started at 7pm.  We had dinner at Becco.  I have to say that I wouldn’t go there again.  The food wasn’t that great, the service was o.k..  our waitress was great but the restaurant was way too crowded.  Why? Because they put up to 6 people at a 4-top.  They sat a family down next to us, where one of the diners  basically was sitting in Katie’s lap…   It really wasn’t kosher.  This set ATrain off and he let the waitress know that given the overcrowding already, that it wasn’t really reasonable to put more than 4 people on the 4-top.  The waitress basically said they always do this (as I looked around the room and sure enough, they indeed do). We did end up moving to a corner in the room, in the back. It was very tight – waiters had a hard time getting to each table .. and they couldn’t even get to me. I had to lift my plate up to be served….   It was slightly embarrassing that ATrain made a big deal about it given that the restaurant does indeed do this (seemed like we were the only ones not in the know).  But I do think that the restaurant has just gone over the top with their seating there is a line that needs to be drawn with the overcrowding for a buck.  Given that the food wasn’t that great, we will not be going back there.

The Book Of Mormon musical was so much fun.  I haven’t been to a show for a very long time, and this was so funny, I’ve not laughed that hard in a long time.  There are mormon quirky things that I wished had been in the play – like how Mormons love their sugar and anything jello, the way there is a mormon caste system (born mormon is better than a converted mormon), etc.

Oh, and I saw Maya Rudolph  at the play. I said hello to her, that I loved her work.  She gave me a smirk, an eye-roll, and then just walked off (or continued walking, I don’t think she ever really stopped).  Now here is the thing – If you want to be a star, and you become a star, and then someone recognizes you, why don’t you just say “thank you”?  Why be an asshole about it?  I’ll never get it.  You spend your entire life to become a star, you dream to be a star, and when you finally become one AND people recognize you as one, you snub them.  So stupid. 

Anyway, I’m on my way home now, enjoying every minute on my Virgin America return flight.  Thank you Virgin America for having  customer focused and happy employees and the nicest, cleanest planes on the market.

Introducing The Family.

So, I’m home tonight.  I just finished up with dinner at my favorite watering hole with ATrain.  We are doing very well…   so well in fact, that I’m taking him home to “meet the parents”.  I was thinking about it tonight, I’ve NOT introduced my parents to anyone except GFP in 5 years.  Tomorrow I’m taking the ATrain home with me to meet the parents.  5 years.  5 YEARS.  I keep repeating it because I can’t believe it.  My EX never came to Utah with me – I think he thought my family was beneath him (he was spoiled and elitist IMO), the last time he did was 2007.  That means that my parents haven’t met anyone that I’ve been with or dates in the last 5 years.   I know, I keep saying it, it’s just so surprising. No wonder they all think I’m a lesbian!  🙂

BTW, ATrain is Jewish, my parents are Mormon. I didn’t even know that there were Jewish people until I left Utah..  needless to say, there wasn’t much of a Jewish community in Provo Utah in the 1980’s… 

Finally, I should be working, I have a  TON of work to finish up before I can call it a night, but I wanted to share this momentous occasion.  I will let you know how it goes. With any luck, I’ll be able to take time away from work and actually do something fun for a change… like blog!

Weekend With Family.

I’m in Utah this weekend, enjoying some time with family.  It’s a quick trip, our annual school clothes shopping adventure.  I’ve been doing this with the girls in the family since my niece AbFab was 6 years old.  She would come out to CA and hang with me .. we would shop for school clothes. There are so many things we got for her that we both loved – the fabulous green dress with a scarf when she was 8, her down puffy coat years later.. 

This year the event occurred with my twin, my two nieces AbFab and LilDarlin’ (my twin sisters daughters), and AbFab’s two darling little ladies Mayonaise and Shanaynay.  We did all our shopping in one long afternoon.  It’s the shortest shopping trip we have ever had, but it was enough.  Mayonnaise kept calling us “The Family”, and wanted all 6 of us to do everything together.. everything.  Mayonaise is not a quiet child, I do wonder if other shoppers thought we were part of a polygamist family (we all look so much alike).  Either way, a GREAT day, we got everything we needed to go back to school in grand style. 

We shopped until 6:30pm or so, then had dinner with my parents.  It was so good to see them and spend some time with them. Even though they all live in Utah, they do not get together as often as they would like – They don’t live close and they all have family obligations (kids, jobs, you all know the drill).  Anyway, it’s nice when I come into town they make a point of getting together (to spend time with me, how awesome is that??!?) .  It was a great dinner.

After dinner, AbFab and my twin went home, and my niece LilDarlin’ and I watched the little ladies.  I booked a hotel with a pool so that we could swim (and boy did we ever!).  It was late by the time we got to the room, so we just did girls stuff (manicure and pedicure, chit-chat, etc).. .   We had a great time at “Paula’s House” (that’s what Mayonaise calls the hotel) – Girls will probably remember painting fingers and toes, swimming, and jumping on the bed the most.. 

The next morning we got up early and swam for almost 2 hours!  We got ready and then headed over to McDonald’s for fries and Payland, finally making it home around 3pm.   LilDarlin’ and I relaxed on the couch for a while… then off we went to the Family Dollar for a few things..  AbFab made a great dinner, and after the kids went to bed, AbFab, LilDarlin’ and I hung out and reviewing pictures of past experiences.   AbFab left for work (she works graveyards) and put LilDarlin’ and I “in charge” again….  And we did not disappoint!

We got up early in the morning, hung out, and enjoyed each others company.  Kids had Otter Pops while I had my coffee, then had yogurt and granola for breakfast.. pizza for snack all before noon.  It is so fun being the Aunt – I think that anything within reason is o.k. as long as they treat each other with love and respect.. so a few popsicles during their morning ritual will not kill them.

Anyway, I did have to leave and it was hard. Very hard.  I cried as I drove to my parents house.  I love all te kids – it’s so hard to not be around as much as I would like to be.  But it is what it is, and I will be back in a few months.  I do have to say, the weekend would NOT have been over the top fun if LilDarlin’ wasn’t with me – she is the coolest aunt in the world to the girls – they idolize her and she loves them to pieces back.  She helped me with their schedules, guiding me on the best way to take care of them…  She is such a sweet, loving,  and kind person.  She is  heading into the 6th grade with more wisdom and independence than I’ve seen in most 6th graders. 

I did arrive to my parents house at a reasonable hour, had some time to catch up with my parents.  I love coming home and catching up with my parents.  My mom always makes me a very fondly remembered “favorite meal” and my dad gives me the update on his store – he owns and manages a small computer business in Utah.  He’s just moved into a new building and is working hard at building up business at his new location.  My mom made me meatloaf with a baked potato and canned green beans.  I loved this meal growing up, and it tasted sooooooooooooooo good this evening.  She even made one of my favorites for dessert – brownies!  We had a great dinner, great conversation, and it’s just so good to see my parents.

Ok.. I’m exhausted, I’m heading to bed in a few minutes. I have a few blogs to write about specific events/experiences.. I will try to get to these on the airplane.. .. I’m heading back to Atlanta for my last week of on-site support for the immediate time being.

Good night folks.

Date With My Utah Realtor.

I’m in Utah now.. a different world.  Completely different world.  Its so interesting to me – that 2 hours flight from my home in the beautiful Bay Area brings me to a world that I  barely know/relate to.

Tonight I went out with my realtor.  He’s a 70+ year-old man… I’ve known him since 2003 when I purchased my first rental property from him.  I’ve bought and sold a half dozen properties thru him. We are friends, and I see him every time I come into town. We are the same in the sense that we support our family members…  He has daughters/nieces/nephews that he cares tremendously for…. I have the same.  We compare war stories… we laugh about our “single” lives, make fun of our married friends, the provo/Utah Valley “bubble”… you know, we connect. 

Tonight we met for dinner. 8 years of friendship.. life changes, life tragedies (divorces, death of his mother, etc), acceptance, new friends.. etc..  the full cycle.  I assumed it would be the same as it always was.  Nope. Not tonight.  We didn’t have the same ‘”as it always was night”…  For whatever reason, he couldn’t even look at me. He said I was too pretty.  He kept looking away. He asked if I lost weight….  He couldn’t pin-point it.. but something was different for him.  We got thru the night and enjoyed each other, but it was awkward at times.

I have not lost an ounce  since I saw him last… done nothing different… I showed up tonight in a casual dress with a sweater, casual makeup, big smile, and happy to see him attitude.  The only difference between tonight and 6 months ago – me being more comfortable in my skin.  Thats right, no weight loss, no dramatic changes…  just me. Me at 40.  I’m different, I’m better.  Yes older, but so consciously happy and comfortable with where I am.  I know, I have no man, no prospects of a man (society must be ready to hang themselves). But I have great friends, a job I love, and in general, a very good life. 

So the picture I’ve added is of us.. without our faces.  He always wears the same outfit – jeans, long sleeve shirt, and a lizard/gator vest.   Cracks me up – I dont think I’ve ever met up with him and he didn’t have it on….  He never leaves home without it.  This, I know, will never change — The Vest.  Here it is, in all its glory.

Waiting For Moms Test Results.

So, a lot of you have asked how my mom is doing….   She had another episode (shooting pain in her shoulder that is so immense she had to lay down…. she was at work).  My dad took her to the doctor and she had an MRI… . we get the results back today.

I’m in Utah now, hanging with her.  She says she is fine, but she’s also taken 2 loratabs (if any of you know pain killers, this is the good stuff)..  I’m not sure there is anything I can do at this point, but just talk with her, get her water, etc… 

I also have a few people to see, mostly AbFab, Mayonaise, and Shanaynay.  I will also be visiting with my other niece, LilDarlin’, and celebrating my fathers birthday…  All good stuff.

On Vacation.

I’m a bit slow to update my blog in general, but I’m even more slow now because I’m on vacation!  I’m in St. George Utah, a gorgeous, hidden gem of a place.  It’s still in Utah, so it is hard to get a cocktail around here, but its just so incredible here nature wise.  Take a look at the red rock views below…  and the weather is great – hot and dry. 

I’m working on my bikini-clad beach body tan, and 4 days into it, I still DO NOT have tan lines.  I’ve been careful not to burn myself by using SPF 8, but lordy, I would think my skin would be a bit more bronze given the amount of time of been out in the sun (about 8-10 hours).  Tomorrow, Friday is my last day to get some sun, so I may go without any sunscreen ….  we shall see.  Wish me luck – I’d like to go home witih dark skin and some deep tan lines.

Lastly, this place brings back a lot of memories, good and not so good.  I will share a few of these stories with you at a later date – when I have time and am ready to reminisce about a few of the hardest years of my life.