best girlfriends

Bestie Might Move.

PaulasPonderings1 Comment

Stating the very obvious, it has been a while since I’ve written. I’ve been busy working my ass off.  I’ve been focused on my career, on making a substantial difference in the first 90 days.

I’m so busy, why write now?  Because my best friend has been interviewing for a phenomenal job opportunity.  It has been a long and arduous process.  But the process is nearing a conclusion and it looks very very promising.  I am so happy for her.  This opportunity is what she has been working so hard for – and to be completely honest, what women, in the software industry, have been wanting for so long – the coveted executive position. The only catch is that she has to move – to Seattle.  Which is a great place to live, we have friends there, and the cost of living is so much more livable than the Bay Area.

My heart hurts.  The thought of losing another bestie to another state makes me really sad. Really sad, crying sad.  I have 4 besties. Girlfriends that I’ve made plans to retire with:

  • Unicorns – who may potentially move to Seattle
  • CLicious – who moved to Utah 2 years ago
  • Jewels – currently dealing with a personal tragedy so great that it will take many years to heal
  • My longest bestie – probably knows the most about me. She is married with her own life on the East Coast

I have other friends that are around that care about me and I them.  With more effort on my part they could become substantial influences and best friends.

Right now what I am feeling is the simple sadness of missing someone.  Unicorns left for Europe right when I separated from my Ex.  I was so happy for her, but the depth of the alone-ness that I felt was devastating.  I do not know where I would be if CLicious and her husband hadn’t adopted me and included me in everything that they did.  They made me family… I will never forget their generosity.

The thought of Unicorns moving away has my stomach in knots, my heart torn apart.  I am very upset about it.  I automatically have gone back to the place I was 8 years ago – during the divorce and her departure.  Later, I remember clearly when CLicious left. I spent 6 months in a daze.  I had to relearn how to live, I had to figure out a new routine.  I can say I am still not completely over her departure. The thought of not having both Unicorns and CLicious makes me very sad.  And alone.

I am 45 years old.  I have no children.  My career is great…. but I am certainly not where I want or thought I would be at 45….  I love the company, the work, the potential.  But I am not a VP. If I work hard I can make the executive ranks in a few years….  so what, so I will be a VP when I reach my 50’s?  Is that really what is important? Is that really what I want?  No.

So what do I want?  I want a partner. Someone who I can be vulnerable with. Someone that I can support and who supports me.  I want a relationship where we have each others backs.  We look after each other, care for one another. What do I need? I need to feel secure and safe.   I am not lonely so it isn’t about just being with someone, with anyone. It’s about sharing life with a super special person that I care about and they care for me.

Yes, I have ATrain, the Ex, who wants to get back together.  I can’t see this being successful.  Not because he isn’t serious about it. He loves me. I love him.  Personality wise we make a great team.  But at the end of the day, I do not think we want the same things. He is happy with how things are. I want so much more.

Anyway, what you just got is my ramblings after drinking a few glasses of red wine….  Not that wine is required.  I’ve been so busy these last few months… busy and exhausted. With what you may ask?

  • I’ve been working my ass off at my new job (90 days in and so far so good).
  • Commuting..  taking public transportation and listening to podcasts to fill the time.
  • Totaled my car.. and just bought a new-to-me car.
  • Pre-registered want-to-be owner of a Tesla Model 3.
  • Trappings of a regular life – work and personal travel, family stuff, etc..

I will do my best to write more regularly.  My dramatic reaction to my bestie moving away  inspired me to write tonight.

For The Love of Yoga.

PaulasPonderings2 Comments

Yoga retreat 2016I just completed the last day of my yoga retreat in Ixtapa Mexico.  I am in transit – heading back home to Northern CA. I’m sad to be leaving….

First, Ixtapa Mexico is a wonderful place.  The people are great, the town is far less developed (touristy) than other cities in Mexico (Cabo, Cancun, etc).  I have always wanted to visit Ixtapa/Zihuatanejo and I’m glad I did – it is awesome.  I’ve always wanted to visit because it is where Andy Dufrane escapes to in the movie – Shawshank Redemption. And when his best friend Red gets out – he shows up too.  I think of Zihuatanejo as the Mecca to my favorite movie.  This place is great.

Second, one of my favorite people opened her world up to me.  I got to spend time with her and meet all her friends.  It’s a precious thing when the people you like want to share special people and moments.  When she told me about the retreat I was sold… I booked it right away – some 7 months ago – and now the trip is over….. 😦

I will do my best to summarize –

  • The instructor is simply amazing.  I LOVE Kundalini yoga.  I have not been able to find a yoga class or instructor that incorporates Kundalini, the breath, flow, and meditation in a class.  The yogi –  Jorge Luna – has me in love with yoga again.  His Yoga was a great combination of breath/connection (Kundalini) , stretch/movement/flow (Vinyassa), and fun!  Yes, remember when exercise was fun, not a task/to-do/chore?  Uh-hum mm, those days. I loved every day of class. And he has inspired me to re-launch my search for a yogi in my area that inspires me to get my ass out of bed on a weekend.
  • The people are just like me… But not.  Yep, all of these amazing people from all walks of life – different backgrounds, cultures, color, sex, gender preference.. You name it, it was in the mix.  No matter what was shared/observed, there was nothing but openness to learn, to understand, and to enjoy.  I realize this may sound “zen like”, but it’s true. Most of these people only see each other when on this trip – and they attend this retreat year over year to see their friends again.  It is a great group of amazing people from all walks of life.
  • The location – Las Brisas Resort– a beautiful natural preserve.  The hotel is a mere 15 minutes from the airport… It has a natural environment – it feels like you are in a rainforest, not in a Ritz Carlton.  It was very clean but not manicured. The pools were great and the beach was amazing.  The food was really good for an all-inclusive resort and they have some top notch restaurants available on premises.  The rooms were spacious and the resort was completely full two nights during my stay and it did not feel crowded at all.  My only complaint is that I wished they would turn off the pool fountains so we could hear the ocean from the pool…  I know right, first world problems.

Would I go again?  Absolutely.  I will definitely go on the next trip – if they will have me (Ask me about the “gummy experiment”).    I do hope I get an invite the next time around!!

 

 

 

Pool Time == Vacation Time.

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2015-07-19-Coppola Winery Pool DayI love pool time.  Any time that I am able to spend by the pool feels like I am on vacation.

On Sunday Unicorns and Rainbows and I went to the Francis Coppola Pool.  A few key points of our experience:

  1. Glorious.  It was absolutely glorious to be there, in the heat, the sun, the pool….
  2. Service.  Awesome once Lindsay got involved.
  3. Price.  Rediculai.  $35 for a lawn seat, which is a seat on the lawn.  The area is SO SMALL and it does not include a lounge chair.  Another price for the Cabina’s, which is worth it with the wine club discount – $150 for 4 lounge chairs.

Honestly, Linsday saved the day.  We were new to the resort, were not given any guidance. We showed up at 11am to get the best seat in the house.  We found the perfect lounge chairs for us.  A few hours later I asked about the different color bands, the waitress went back and complained, and the whole process to move us to the lawn ensued.  Unicorns did better than I did – I was harsh – “find us a non-reserved lounge chair or give us a refund”. I was NOT going to the lawn area after experiencing the lounge chair.

Anyway, my point is, that just being by a pool, laying in the sun, makes me relax and that feels so good – like I’m on vacation.   And I like to be on vacation.  The picture is of me and my toes, soon after we arrived at the fancy winery pool. The cabinas are in the background.

Much Better.

PaulasPonderings1 Comment

Today was a fabulous day…  I picked up my Grey Goose, returned a skirt to Banana Republic without a hassle, and then went to my favorite restaurant and had a salad and glass of wine…  I took my book with me, so I really took my time, enjoyed my lunch, my drink, the sunshine.  It was a slow time in town, it was 3pm ish..  It was nice to soak up the sunshine and a great meal during a relatively calm time during the day.

The bonus is that a girlfriend, Feisty Filly joined me for a quick bite and drink!  Totally unexpected, it just worked out, but we caught up and it was just the thing I needed…  a friend.  She of course told me I looked fabulous (and much younger than my age)…  and that Mr. Meat Market Texter is crazy stupid).  Here here sister!!!  🙂

So, I’m almost done with my pity party.  I get it, life sometimes is a box or rocks…  I’ve opened the box, I don’t like what I see, I’ve now closed the box…  and tomorrow, the box is off to its new home at the Goodwill. 

I have a great weekend planned… I will be hanging with  my fabulous friends and am scheduled to drink just a tiny bit too much on Sunday (Customer Appreciation party at my favorite restaurant…. gotta go!!!)..

Lastly, I didn’t get much work done, which means I have to get up very early tomorrow to get it done.  It’s a small price to pay for the time spent today re-energizing my mind, body, and soul.

Love In the City Weekend.

PaulasPonderings5 Comments

So, I had a fabulous weekend.  I spent the night in the great city of San Francisco with my best girlfriends.  It was a Sex In the City weekend, but we were keeping it PG-13 …   the Queen tells her kids that she is watching Love in The City (she has two boys…  ).. so thus, a Love In The City Weekend for all of us fabulous gals!

We went in on Saturday, shopped, cocktailed, dined, and danced the night away…  so many great things happened, the highlights are below:

  • Our Accommodations were lovely.  The Prescott Hotel.  Love this hotel – the rooms are small, but have a lot of character AND the staff are just so damn nice and the location is perfect for our outing.   We stayed on the club level floor… and had all the perks that movie stars receive.  My only recommendation to you as a guest is to bring your own toilet paper. The toilet paper is awful. My advice to Prescott, UPGRADE YOUR TP!!!!   It shouldn’t be so bad given that you are a more upscale boutique hotel. 
  • My friends are awesome.  Lordy, these ladies are a good time.  We shared stories, laughed a ton, and just reconnected.  We do these get-togethers once or twice a year, and they are absolutely the most fulfilling and fun trips.
  • Adventures were to be had.  Boy o’ boy we ladies know how to have a good time!!  If you ever run into me, ask me about the following:
    • “I want VIP, I’ve got $50”.  This is the exact statement said by one of the ladies as we regrouped to figure out what we were doing next.  She said it the hotel concierge – at midnight…    he actually volunteered to walk us to a club a few blocks away to make sure we got VIP treatment.   🙂  We did NOT go to this club… 
    • Pizza, Pizza, Pizza.  One of the ladies was starving and demanded pizza.  Which is great – she needs to eat (if she wasn’t so damn nice, you would hate her because she is so damn beautiful and has a very slender, lanky, perfect body).  Anyway, we went to eat pizza…  at midnight.   The funniest thing about this is that the next morning, she joined us for breakfast, she said, “whose bright idea was it to go eat another meal at midnight”?  Ummm… yeah… we had to let her know, after we all snorted coffee out of noses when we burst out laughing, that it was indeed her bright idea. 
    • Dancing Queens.  I love my dear friend Jewels.  She and I are always up for a good dance.  Doesn’t matter where we are or what the style of dance is… I can count on her to get out on the dance floor and cut a rug with me.  I’ve always thought that the floor isn’t just for couples or people who have dates.. it’s for everyone. Even the single girl who loves to dance!  Jewels feels the same – no need to wait for someone to ask – move it, shake it, white-board it!!  🙂

I will write when I feel like it.  I’m tired… it was a long day today.  Good news is that I found a pair of fabulous sexy shoes (on sale at a discount designer clothing store… o.k. peeps, its Loehmanns!  I love this store)  and my front lawn sprinklers are working again.  Saved the grass in the nick of time! 

Girls Weekend Here I Come!

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

So, I love it when an adventure comes together…    I’m heading to Boston for work in a few weeks, but this time I’m going to stay a weekend and visit with one of my best friends!  We had no plans to see each other 48 hours ago…. then, magic happened, of the unicorn and rainbows kind.

I woke up on Friday with an email in my inbox from my dear friend, stating she was going to be coming stateside (she currently lives in London.. I know, awesome) the first 2 weeks in April.  I read it and my heart jumped!  I too, will be on the East Coast during this time.  We Skyped, made a plan, and I just booked my ticket.  I will be heading to Boston early so that we can “do what we do” best…  hang out, catch up, have adventures, and make memories!

Now all I have to do is make arrangements with the cat sitter… and I’m good to go.  Life is very good – full of adventure … I love it!