Winding Down The Family Weekend.

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Here I sit, in my bed, ready for sleep, thinking about my weekend…  here it is, in a nutshell.

Today, Sunday was a great day.  I went with my mom to our favorite thrift store and found my favorite pants in my size.  So I lost weight last year, and my girlfriend FreeBird told me I had to get rid of them…  I gave them to my mom this weekend. She loves them.  I was sad to part with them, but happy that they fit my mom and she loves them.  So, we go to the thrift store, and what do I find…. the EXACT SAME PAIR of jeans IN MY SIZE.  Honestly, I have done some very good deeds to deserve something like this to happen to me.   Oh, and they cost $8.  I know! Awesome.

This afternoon was my great-niece Mayonaise’s 4th birthday party.  She officially turns 4 next weekend, but we celebrated it this weekend.  I’ve attached a picture of her here – how adorable is she?!?!?!   She received the usual – shoes and sidewalk chalk from great grandma, clothes from grandma, coloring books from mom and dad, these bracelets from her cousin, and of course you can guess what I got for her – hula hoops!!  Yep, we went outside and I showed her the ways of the hula… she was adorable moving her round little belly around trying to keep the hoop up.  Just adorable.

Yesterday, Saturday, I spent the morning with my mom, lunch with mom and dad, a long nap, then dinner and drinks with AbFab and her hubby.  We ate at Red  Lobster.. I had Maine lobster with 2 glasses of wine… Fantastic company, great food, superior service.  The only bummer is that the evening ended too soon. 😦

And on Friday I worked all day, then had a fabulous dinner with my realtor.  Learned that 47% of all Utah properties on the market are distressed…   which means that I won’t be selling my condo anytime soon.

All in all, I was able to relax a bit, spend quality time with family and friends, and still manage to get my work done.  How great is that?

No Results Yet.

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My mom still doesn’t know whats wrong with her.. Except that she is exhausted all the time, the sharp pain in her arm, shoulder, then head is very painful, and she is learning to like pain meds (I told her it would happen!!)… 

Doctor was out of the office, only works part time. And apparently Friday is a day off for him. Great.  A doctor on semi-retirment. I support it UNTIL it effects me.  My mom suggested it might be time for a new doctor…  yeahhh, I think so!!.  One that works full time and realizes that people are actually anxious about test results… and waiting for 3 DAYS (thru a long weekend) to find out the results is UNEXCEPTABLE.  Gees.  My mom said its a “bit frustrating”….   You think so? I’m pissed!!! My mom is so patient…

So, Monday is the earliest we will find out what is “wrong”.  What I do know is that my mom is tired… she doesn’t know whats wrong, Is ready to chalk it up to a pinched nerve…..   I want to know and I want to know right now. Knowing whats wrong means that we can fix it.. make my mom all better.  Get her back to “good as new”….  

I’m just frustrated with the lack of information and the lack of urgency on the doctor (and their offices) part …   Seems so callous, so uncaring, so removed…  bugs me.

Date With My Utah Realtor.

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I’m in Utah now.. a different world.  Completely different world.  Its so interesting to me – that 2 hours flight from my home in the beautiful Bay Area brings me to a world that I  barely know/relate to.

Tonight I went out with my realtor.  He’s a 70+ year-old man… I’ve known him since 2003 when I purchased my first rental property from him.  I’ve bought and sold a half dozen properties thru him. We are friends, and I see him every time I come into town. We are the same in the sense that we support our family members…  He has daughters/nieces/nephews that he cares tremendously for…. I have the same.  We compare war stories… we laugh about our “single” lives, make fun of our married friends, the provo/Utah Valley “bubble”… you know, we connect. 

Tonight we met for dinner. 8 years of friendship.. life changes, life tragedies (divorces, death of his mother, etc), acceptance, new friends.. etc..  the full cycle.  I assumed it would be the same as it always was.  Nope. Not tonight.  We didn’t have the same ‘”as it always was night”…  For whatever reason, he couldn’t even look at me. He said I was too pretty.  He kept looking away. He asked if I lost weight….  He couldn’t pin-point it.. but something was different for him.  We got thru the night and enjoyed each other, but it was awkward at times.

I have not lost an ounce  since I saw him last… done nothing different… I showed up tonight in a casual dress with a sweater, casual makeup, big smile, and happy to see him attitude.  The only difference between tonight and 6 months ago – me being more comfortable in my skin.  Thats right, no weight loss, no dramatic changes…  just me. Me at 40.  I’m different, I’m better.  Yes older, but so consciously happy and comfortable with where I am.  I know, I have no man, no prospects of a man (society must be ready to hang themselves). But I have great friends, a job I love, and in general, a very good life. 

So the picture I’ve added is of us.. without our faces.  He always wears the same outfit – jeans, long sleeve shirt, and a lizard/gator vest.   Cracks me up – I dont think I’ve ever met up with him and he didn’t have it on….  He never leaves home without it.  This, I know, will never change — The Vest.  Here it is, in all its glory.

Waiting For Moms Test Results.

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So, a lot of you have asked how my mom is doing….   She had another episode (shooting pain in her shoulder that is so immense she had to lay down…. she was at work).  My dad took her to the doctor and she had an MRI… . we get the results back today.

I’m in Utah now, hanging with her.  She says she is fine, but she’s also taken 2 loratabs (if any of you know pain killers, this is the good stuff)..  I’m not sure there is anything I can do at this point, but just talk with her, get her water, etc… 

I also have a few people to see, mostly AbFab, Mayonaise, and Shanaynay.  I will also be visiting with my other niece, LilDarlin’, and celebrating my fathers birthday…  All good stuff.

A Lot In Common.

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Hi guys.  Short post today.  This morning I received an email from the following individual

that said we are a perfect match.  I cannot understand  how this is so ….  just by looks alone we are so not a match.  What gives? Why would a guy like this ever reach out to me and think there would be any interest? 

I realize that I’m not a hottie (certainly not a model type given my round barrel like figure), but seriously??

Missing What I Can’t Have.

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Tonight was a great night. I spent the evening with a few girlfriends that I’ve not seen forever, but that are forever with me. We met 16 years ago – and caught up this evening. Honestly, we haven’t skipped a beat.  And we all look exactly the same (yes, young and gorgeous!!!).

I’m home now, reminiscing, and as good as the evening went/felt,  I feel somewhat like a loser.  I thoroughly enjoyed this evening, but I cam home with a sense of loss.  I am missing My Mr. Big tonight.  It’s just a feeling I can’t push out of my head, my heart.  I can’t help but feel how nice it would have been to see him, be with him.  He hasn’t been a part of my life in a  consistent, supportive way for 8-9 months or so now. Its a silly, stupid feeling.  I know, super silly…  but I do miss him.  Why are some people harder to forget than others? Why do certain people have an impact and others are as forgettable as the last rain?  Tonight, I miss My Mr. Big more than I should.  More than I certainly want to, more than I should be given what we “officially” shared. 

So, I’ve taken a sleeping pill…  I’m crossing my fingers that it will help me fall asleep, forget my losses…  and gets me through the night so I can move on tomorrow and act as if nothing is wrong, nothing is missing….

Done with Online Dating.

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So, its official, my first roster of men is now officially done, over.  They have all turn out to be interesting people, and my relationship with each of the men turn out just as they should have. 

Yes, the roster is done, but I have zero interest in getting involved/creating another roster.  I feel so busy, and creating and working a roster is just too much for me.  What pushed me over the edge?  Plenty of Losers sent me some recommendations that included Mr. Texas.  So, they are cycling back thru their crap and offering up bottom feeders as if I wouldn’t know.  Yeahhhh… no thanks.

So, here is the rundown. 

  • Mr. Tx has put up new photos of himself. Same profile – looking for the one special woman.. yada yada yada. Whatever. All bullshit…  now I know. Now we all know.
  • Chicken Legs is a great guy, and he would make anyone a great partner.  BUT I”m the one with the problem – I’m just not sexually attracted to him. So now I have the responsibility to have the “just friends” chat with him.  I’ve not done it yet because with all my birthday celebrations and his commitment to his kids, we’ve not seen each other.  Friends say I should do it over the phone, but I personally would want someone to tell me this kind of stuff in person.  so, thus, I wait until our schedules align and I can see him again.
  • My new Man Friend, my GirlFriend Peter. Forever known here on out as GFP.  This is the last man to fall off the roster. He is a fabulous person.  We met at a bar (not online), and have been dating (no sex, no nothing, just honest, old fashioned dating) since January.  I invited him to my friends party this Friday (I thought we would have fun AND he likes all the same things my friends and I like), and he invited me to his family party on Sunday. I loved both events – he loved my friends, my friends loved him.  I loved his family, they loved me.  You would think this was a date…   but went as friends.  And we had a blast.  And I’m ok with this .  I brought it up because I wanted to make sure we were on the same page….  and you know what he said to me?  he said, he has had a lot of loss in his life this past year (he lost both his mother to cancer (he was her primary caregiver) AND he broke up with his girlfriend of 6.5 years).  He feels that we really connect (we do), and he doesn’t want to lose me because something goes wrong in the lovers arenda.   I told him I am just fine with friends.  And honestly, I think this man is going to be in my life forever.  He is kind, generious, sweet, loving, intellegent, and so interesting. We always have a great time….   I don’t see this changing.  So, no love connection, but a new friendship…  There is just nothing wrong with this.

O.k. .so tonight, right now, I am disabling, deleting, or whatever I need to do to get rid of/hide  my Plenty of Losers account. 

So this is it, I’m done with online dating for a while now.  I don’t have the time or energy for it. Iv’e got at least one lifetime friend, and if Chicken Legs and I can get to the friends stage, well then I’ve made two great friends.  How lucky am I, to have new people, spectactular people, enter my circle of friends?

I’m going to start doing a few more things, go out with friends, and just be myself and enjoy the time that I have.  I would like to meet someone that I want to spend time with… but right now, I’ve got so many great things going on, only someone really special is going to do it for me.  And I have to say, I’ve not met that many great guys online or thru friends..   So, now I’m going it alone…..   I dont know what this means or how this is going to work,   maybe it won’t. But I’m not in a hurry to find someone…  so we shall see.

Wish me luck!

Happy Birthday to Me!

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Yes, that’s right, I was born 40 years ago, on Mothers Day.  I know, what a tragedy blessing for my parents.  Oh, and I think I’ve forgotten to mention that I’m a twin – so my mom and dad had TWO of me at the same time. 

I have been celebrating my birthday for the last two weeks.. out almost every single night with a friend or two.  I am SO LUCKY to have such love and friendship in my life.  I know, I don’t have the “trappings” of a successful 40-year-old – I don’t have a man, I don’t have kids.  But I’m so happy!  I don’t think I’ve ever been so consciously happy.  So I’m 40 .. look at me – happy, healthy, and with a tremendous amount of love in my life.

Here’s a quick list (umm hmm, surprise, a list!) of my celebratory activities:

  • I went dancing last weekend in SF with a few of my best girlfriends – Love In The City Weekend
  •  spent the week catching up with really good friends, even had  a ‘pool party’ with one of ’em!
  • this Friday night I went out with my local crew and had another impromptu dance party.   Trapeze is my all time favorite restaurant and they treated us like royalty.  Then a few of us headed over to the Vinyl Room, a local bar/dance place, and danced the night away until others started arriving…  We are always up for starting a dance party (we love an open dance floor)..
  • Last night I had dinner with my fist best girlfriend – Bitter Betty (my name is/was Pissy Patty)… more about our friendship below…

Bitter and I were inseparable…  we did everything together.  Our friendship waned when I lost all confidence in myself and became a recluse (yes, much like what happened a few years ago)…  We talked about this last night.  What I love about Bitter is that we haven’t skipped a beat – its like we’ve never been apart.  I love this woman – she is amazing, smart, absolutely stunning, and the nicest person I’ve ever met.  When I was feeling ugly towards other people, I used to think to myself, “what would Bitter do?” … Bitter would always smile and just move away from the bad energy.  O.k.. so yes,  I love this woman!  So glad we have reconnected after all these years, and that she is still her same, sweet fabulous self!  Go Bitter!

O.k.. as you can see I’m living life to the fullest … I am finally 40 (been waiting years for this moment)…   as a friend said to me this morning, “Glad you finally grew up and have joined us at the adult table”…    That’s right, today, I’m officially a grown up!!

Mom Is Down.

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Wow, Mom is in the hospital.  She is down.  This woman is the strongest woman I know.  I’m numb.  She may have had a heart attack… may have had a bad reaction to something.   Either way, she ended up in the emergency room.  When I spoke to her, she was “drunk”…   I made light of her condition, largely because I have no idea of how to deal with this situation.  Mom, the rock of the family, needs help, whether she admits it or not.

God, my heart is heavy tonight.  What do I do.. go home to her home….   stay home and deal….  I love this woman. She is the most significant woman in my life  – so much of her experience is who I am, what I am today…. What do I do???  Definitely makes me think of what is important in life…

Thought Of the Day

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Hello all.  Funny thought of the day for you — sent to me by my dear friend C-Licious:

 

A woman is sitting on the veranda with her husband and she says, “I love you.”
 
He asks, “Is that you or the wine talking?”

She replies, “It’s me………….talking to the wine.”

Happy Monday everyone!