Paula's Ponderings

I’m in Utah now.. a different world.  Completely different world.  Its so interesting to me – that 2 hours flight from my home in the beautiful Bay Area brings me to a world that I  barely know/relate to.

Tonight I went out with my realtor.  He’s a 70+ year-old man… I’ve known him since 2003 when I purchased my first rental property from him.  I’ve bought and sold a half dozen properties thru him. We are friends, and I see him every time I come into town. We are the same in the sense that we support our family members…  He has daughters/nieces/nephews that he cares tremendously for…. I have the same.  We compare war stories… we laugh about our “single” lives, make fun of our married friends, the provo/Utah Valley “bubble”… you know, we connect. 

Tonight we met for dinner. 8 years of friendship.. life changes, life tragedies (divorces, death of his mother, etc), acceptance, new friends.. etc..  the full cycle.  I assumed it would be the same as it always was.  Nope. Not tonight.  We didn’t have the same ‘”as it always was night”…  For whatever reason, he couldn’t even look at me. He said I was too pretty.  He kept looking away. He asked if I lost weight….  He couldn’t pin-point it.. but something was different for him.  We got thru the night and enjoyed each other, but it was awkward at times.

I have not lost an ounce  since I saw him last… done nothing different… I showed up tonight in a casual dress with a sweater, casual makeup, big smile, and happy to see him attitude.  The only difference between tonight and 6 months ago – me being more comfortable in my skin.  Thats right, no weight loss, no dramatic changes…  just me. Me at 40.  I’m different, I’m better.  Yes older, but so consciously happy and comfortable with where I am.  I know, I have no man, no prospects of a man (society must be ready to hang themselves). But I have great friends, a job I love, and in general, a very good life. 

So the picture I’ve added is of us.. without our faces.  He always wears the same outfit – jeans, long sleeve shirt, and a lizard/gator vest.   Cracks me up – I dont think I’ve ever met up with him and he didn’t have it on….  He never leaves home without it.  This, I know, will never change — The Vest.  Here it is, in all its glory.