Tonight was a great night. I spent the evening with a few girlfriends that I’ve not seen forever, but that are forever with me. We met 16 years ago – and caught up this evening. Honestly, we haven’t skipped a beat. And we all look exactly the same (yes, young and gorgeous!!!).
I’m home now, reminiscing, and as good as the evening went/felt, I feel somewhat like a loser. I thoroughly enjoyed this evening, but I cam home with a sense of loss. I am missing My Mr. Big tonight. It’s just a feeling I can’t push out of my head, my heart. I can’t help but feel how nice it would have been to see him, be with him. He hasn’t been a part of my life in a consistent, supportive way for 8-9 months or so now. Its a silly, stupid feeling. I know, super silly… but I do miss him. Why are some people harder to forget than others? Why do certain people have an impact and others are as forgettable as the last rain? Tonight, I miss My Mr. Big more than I should. More than I certainly want to, more than I should be given what we “officially” shared.
So, I’ve taken a sleeping pill… I’m crossing my fingers that it will help me fall asleep, forget my losses… and gets me through the night so I can move on tomorrow and act as if nothing is wrong, nothing is missing….