Done with Online Dating.

So, its official, my first roster of men is now officially done, over.  They have all turn out to be interesting people, and my relationship with each of the men turn out just as they should have. 

Yes, the roster is done, but I have zero interest in getting involved/creating another roster.  I feel so busy, and creating and working a roster is just too much for me.  What pushed me over the edge?  Plenty of Losers sent me some recommendations that included Mr. Texas.  So, they are cycling back thru their crap and offering up bottom feeders as if I wouldn’t know.  Yeahhhh… no thanks.

So, here is the rundown. 

  • Mr. Tx has put up new photos of himself. Same profile – looking for the one special woman.. yada yada yada. Whatever. All bullshit…  now I know. Now we all know.
  • Chicken Legs is a great guy, and he would make anyone a great partner.  BUT I”m the one with the problem – I’m just not sexually attracted to him. So now I have the responsibility to have the “just friends” chat with him.  I’ve not done it yet because with all my birthday celebrations and his commitment to his kids, we’ve not seen each other.  Friends say I should do it over the phone, but I personally would want someone to tell me this kind of stuff in person.  so, thus, I wait until our schedules align and I can see him again.
  • My new Man Friend, my GirlFriend Peter. Forever known here on out as GFP.  This is the last man to fall off the roster. He is a fabulous person.  We met at a bar (not online), and have been dating (no sex, no nothing, just honest, old fashioned dating) since January.  I invited him to my friends party this Friday (I thought we would have fun AND he likes all the same things my friends and I like), and he invited me to his family party on Sunday. I loved both events – he loved my friends, my friends loved him.  I loved his family, they loved me.  You would think this was a date…   but went as friends.  And we had a blast.  And I’m ok with this .  I brought it up because I wanted to make sure we were on the same page….  and you know what he said to me?  he said, he has had a lot of loss in his life this past year (he lost both his mother to cancer (he was her primary caregiver) AND he broke up with his girlfriend of 6.5 years).  He feels that we really connect (we do), and he doesn’t want to lose me because something goes wrong in the lovers arenda.   I told him I am just fine with friends.  And honestly, I think this man is going to be in my life forever.  He is kind, generious, sweet, loving, intellegent, and so interesting. We always have a great time….   I don’t see this changing.  So, no love connection, but a new friendship…  There is just nothing wrong with this.

O.k. .so tonight, right now, I am disabling, deleting, or whatever I need to do to get rid of/hide  my Plenty of Losers account. 

So this is it, I’m done with online dating for a while now.  I don’t have the time or energy for it. Iv’e got at least one lifetime friend, and if Chicken Legs and I can get to the friends stage, well then I’ve made two great friends.  How lucky am I, to have new people, spectactular people, enter my circle of friends?

I’m going to start doing a few more things, go out with friends, and just be myself and enjoy the time that I have.  I would like to meet someone that I want to spend time with… but right now, I’ve got so many great things going on, only someone really special is going to do it for me.  And I have to say, I’ve not met that many great guys online or thru friends..   So, now I’m going it alone…..   I dont know what this means or how this is going to work,   maybe it won’t. But I’m not in a hurry to find someone…  so we shall see.

Wish me luck!

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4 thoughts on “Done with Online Dating.

  1. kadja1 May 11, 2011 / 12:50 am

    Well, I won’t do online dating because of my dad marrying 4 different mail order brides after he and my mother parted ways. There was NO love–just an arrangement after 3 days and I ended up being close to losing my life at the hands of a woman he married who was mentally ill in the end. If it is not with someone I’ve met/known in person–it won’t happen.

    I operate under the assumption that most lie on their profiles, but then again, I worked as a sergeant in a correctional facility and can spot the lines and the crap. I wish you the best. I am doing like you are doing–hanging with friends, working on classwork, etc…To me that online dating is a load of crap anyway…Sorry to those that don’t agree, but I will NEVER do it.

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  2. Harold Spain May 10, 2011 / 12:51 pm

    I second greay goose. You have made the right choice and having only one of three (Mr Tx) turn out to be a shit head, is doing better than most.

    Back in the stone age, when I last dated there was no such thing as on line dating. People dated by either, working with the person, meeting at a party, wedding, family gatherering , ect or at a singles bar. (Oh, I am old)

    I like these to types of fishing. A hook or worm (work) you dangle the bait by going to work and smiling and see if some one comes up for a bite. The net (a sigles bar) easy enough to go catch someone but you end up tossing a lot back or injuring the discards. Or the fly line (introduction at a gathering or just randomly meeting while walking dogs). Neither came with any expectation of any thing more than showing up. You each do a dance of sorts, one above the water the other below. A conversation is struck up and then a subtle tug-of- war and hopefully you become friends that leads to something more or the line snaps and you head in differnt directions.

    Each has its advantage but the fly line is the most romantic and is that not the best foundation for a real relationship.

    Good luck and be well

    H. S.

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  3. Dating Sites May 10, 2011 / 11:41 am

    Thanks for sharing your experience Paula.Good luck for future.Good decision you take.I will follow your blog in future for knowing your experiences in future.

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  4. Grey Goose, Dirty May 10, 2011 / 5:59 am

    I wish you the best of luck and applaude your decision! Online dating is a horribly depressing and discouraging process, so the fact that you have made at least one terrific friend through it is wonderful!

    I do feel as though I’m just spinning my wheels a lot with all my (bad) dates and not being able to ‘read’ guys correctly, but I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment.

    I’m happy for you! Go have some fun! Offline! 🙂

    Like

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