Dating

All things related to dating and meeting new people.

Procrastination At Its Best.

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Procrastination:  refers to the act of replacing high-priority actions with tasks of low-priority, and thus putting off important tasks to a later time.

The excuses begin valiantly with some exercise.  I just got back from a run with C-Licious.  It’s a gorgeous 75 degree day with a slight breeze.  I should be lounging by a pool in my new polka-dot string bikini, but alas I am not.  I’m still building demo scripts….. and not feeling that compelled to jump back into it.

So, today is your lucky day.. I feel like writing about a few things..

Harold and his desire for a 25-year-old.  Watching Harold make an ass of himself on Millionaire Matchmaker has stuck with me. Maybe it’s because I’m not 25, or maybe because its one of the stupidest things I’ve heard lately.  I’ve seen two things about older men dating younger women in the last two days:

  1. AskMen.com has something to say about it too.  Article is a fun read, clarifies the point that a relationship between an older man and younger woman is probably not ideal.   Obviously Harold missed it.  Someone should alert him that it is NOT actually easier to date a younger woman.  
  2. A rerun on MTV, a show I’ve never seen, part of a series of True Life – I’m Dating Someone Older.  Check out Amber and Bobby.  She’s 25, he’s 47…   He is busy working, she is immature and needy…  sounds/looks like a great situation all around.  It bounces in and out between two couples, but focus on this couple.  Better yet, someone send the link to Harold.  Doesn’t seem easier to me at all…

Secondly, a few weeks ago a  local dating service called and offered me a complimentary membership – they said that I was an ideal match for many of their paying members.  I went to their office and discussed the opportunity… and this week I just signed all the contracts and finished my profile.  So, apparently there are men out there that have PAID a service to find someone who is older, career-focused, fun, and fabulous (not to mention attractive and sexy!!).   It’s an old-school dating service – meaning it’s not online, they are about knowing their clientele.   So, they will present me with a few candidates, I get to pick the one I want to go out with …. Yes, I get to pick.  I cannot wait to see who they present me with, I’m pretty excited about it.  My profile is pretty specific…   Maybe, just maybe I will find that tall, handsome, successful, confident, compassionate, well-to-do man I’ve been looking for.

Thirdly, Girls night was last night.  What a great group of classy ladies.  We had so much fun…  I love these ladies, all successful, gorgeous, and fun.  We had drinks and dinner at a great Restaurant (food is fabulous, service is not good, I’ll be letting them know via Yelp), then walked up the street to this new bar/restaurant that was Fabulous!  One of the gals I was with knew the owner… and  just like that we were in. 

Lastly, I had an early morning this morning.  HulaHoops came over this morning, we played a bit of ping-pong in my woman-cave (otherwise known as the garage), then had berry-mango shakes to cool us down…  I drove her to school, where she ran off to the Fun House. Today is water day… she gets to play with water all day (she said  her favorite was buckets… I guess you get to pour a bucket of water over your head…. I wanted to stay with her ….. but alas, I was responsible and came home to work..

And this day is not over… I’ve got a date tonight….  which I will begin to get ready for in about 2 hours.  It’s so warm out, I will wear a dress and some sexy shoes… knock his socks off..  😉

O.k. Now I really have to get back to work….   Thanks for reading!

Advice for Men and A Few Other Random Things.

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

A few random topics today.

First, I love AskMen.com.  It’s a column/site that gives advice to men, but I read it all the time. I feel like it gives me a glimpse into the male psyche, which I’ve never had (I have no brothers and most men I’ve been with were not communicators).  But I was a bit bored today (building demo documentation .. wooo hooo (not)), so I checked out what AskMen.com had to say…  and low and behold, a fabulous article, written by a man on what women want – The Six Sixes.  It’s about what women want, real women – women that are mature, independent, have careers, that take care of themselves.  In a nutshell, it’s:

  •  a Six-Figure Salary (because we are making them too)
  • Six-Feet Tall (even shorties like me like height on a man)
  • Six-Hundred Horsepower (As much as I love the USA, we don’t manufacture the best cars in America)
  • a Six-Pack (we take care of ourselves, our men should too)
  • at least Six-Months since their last relationship (yes please!)
  • Six-Inches below the belt (need I say more?). 

If men are reading this website, then we can all breathe a sigh of relief…..  if they aren’t, people, for the sake of all single successful women, send them the link!!

I just spent some time with Spicy, and we talked about this exact same topic.  As an established woman, I want to improve my life, which I will do with the Six Sixes, and I will NOT do if too many of these are missing..   If my lifestyle changes, it’s going to be for the better ,not worse (no, I’m not even going to consider a teacher, a plumber, etc…).  I know, get mad at me, do whatever you need to do to get it out, but this lady isn’t going anywhere but up.

Secondly, I received my new pair of shoes today…. I got them at 60% discount and they look fabulous on my feet.  I’m a good 4 inches taller now (going from 5’2″ to 5’6″ feels soooooooooo good)..  Tomorrow is ladies night, anyone want to guess what shoes I’m wearing??  Yep, my new shoes.  Glorious.

Thirdly, my friend FreeBird has helped me revamp my wardrobe.  I have to tell you it’s working.  I’m wearing better fitting clothes, have cleared out all the clothing that doesn’t work for me (is too small, is too big, doesn’t look good), and made room for a few great pieces that can be worn all the time.  I’m telling you, I’ve not had so much attention from men since I grew boobs in high school and performed routines during gymnastics meets.  I still have a few things to do, like be more confident in less conservative items, but I’m doing it. Everyday I’m doing something new…   This is one way that I’m attracting a higher-caliber of man…  Love it. Thank you FreeBird!

So that’s it for now… I do have some thoughts stewing in the ol’ Paula Jukebox…. I’ll be sure to share them once I unscramble the message..

Tracking My Activities.

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

So, I’ve got a new goal: drink less and lose weight.  Yep, I know.. I’m doing it again.

I’ve done well with drinking less in general – I no longer drink on airplanes which is HUGE for me…  now I’m used to it, seems weird to have a drink on the plane now.  Didn’t take that long or was it that painful to make this healthy change in my life.  And in general, with work being so busy, I’ve not had as much time to “cut loose” as I used to.

But after Friday, being wildly hung-over I was (and quite possibly legally drunk until noon or so) at the Atlanta Airport, I’ve decided I’ve got to cut back on the booze for a while.   On Friday I decided to not drink at all for a week.. but that changed on Saturday, when GFP came over and had a few glasses of wine, and had a pomegranate martini with C-Licious on Sunday.

Anyway, I thought that while I’m at it, why not ALSO do what my doctor recommended… which was to eat before I run/exercise.  When I went to the doctor to get my IUD inserted, he told me to eat breakfast.. I let him know I don’t usually eat breakfast… and we had a great conversation on how that is not good for me. He said that if I ate a small bit of protein and carbs before I work out, I could lose up to 5 pounds.   I told him I’d do it (it was on my New Years Resolutions this year, and my weight hasn’t budged down or up), he weighed me before I left, and the bet is on!!

So,  my goal is to:

  • take two sobriety nights a week AND
  • eat before I exercise in the morning. 

And I’m going to document all of my activities (time with friends, dates, goals, etc) on my new fancy  Calendar Of Activities.  Its how I was able to achieve so much last year..  keeping track of it via calendar. Keeps me honest.

Harold Wants A 25 Year Old.

PaulasPonderings4 Comments

So, I’m watching Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo. I love this show.  I love watching rich men trying to find real love.  I get that men reach their 40’s and want to have a partner,  a family, a fun relationship (they’ve been too busy working or playing to focus on a relationship, and now they want one).  But they want all of this with a 25-year-old. 

I know.. … What did I just say? Yes, a “mature” man is seeking a solid, happy, relationship that includes kids with a 25-year-old.  Why?  Honestly, what do you talk about when you are 48 and they are 25?  Has anyone met/watched kids this age? Especially the pretty ones?  They are SO IMMATURE for the most part (AbFab is definitely excluded from this group). 

I went out a few times with a very good-looking 35-year-old man (years ago, right before meeting My Mr Big). Boy was he a looker…. but he was SO immature.  Even though we were only a few years apart (me being older), there was at least 10 years difference in maturity level.  I couldn’t handle it…. I had to send that fish back to sea. 

Oh, and while at the Atlanta Airport on Friday, I asked two young men if they wouldn’t mind plugging my battery charger into the wall they were sitting next to.  Of course they did it, were very nice about it, but you know what they called me? “Maam”.   Yep, these young 20-something men put me in the same category as their mother.

So back to Harold.  Patty tells Harold the 48-year-old millionaire, that a 25-year-old will only be interested in you for about 10 seconds AND DO NOT WANT a family and kids at this stage in their lives (clubbing is their #1 priority).  She thinks he should be fishing from the 33-38 year-old pool (still 10-15 years younger than him).   Harold fights back… they have a discussion, and he finally agrees that he is willing to meet an “older” woman…

I don’t know what ever happened with Harold and his new dating pool…  The show is about to end and there has been no update.  So, as nice and cute and rich as Harold is, his brain must not be functioning properly…   Obviously money can’t buy you a brain. 

I found a transcript of the Episode with Harold in it…   My favorite lines from Harold are:

  • “I guess the reason why I deal with all the hassle from Patti and Chelsea (the ladies from Millionaire Matchmaker) is that I’m really determined to find the last piece of the puzzle for me, which is falling in love and having a wife and kids. “
  • “I wanna, you know, get married and have kids.  And so, with younger women, it makes it a lot easier.”

 Like I said, money can’t buy intelligence…  and that is a must for me.  Sorry Harold, you are not going to make my Roster!!  😉

New Developments.

PaulasPonderings2 Comments

So, this entry could be titled “Safe Sex is Grand”,  “The New IUD”, or “Avoiding Pregnancy”, or any number of “this lady is NOT having a baby” headlines…  but I couldn’t think of anything clever, so here we are.

I have talked to many friends about birth control.. married and single friends.  Married friends, for the most part, have had their tubes tied and/or their husbands have been snipped. (the number of men who have chosen NOT to get snipped and forced their wives to have their tubes tied is astonishing).. Honestly, all I can think about is John Edwards.  Stupid man. If you are going to have an affair, its in YOUR best interest to be snipped. 

Anyway, given the words of wisdom  and experiences from many friends, I decided to go with the Mirana IUD.  I had it “implanted” on Monday.  Funny story…  My cervix was not dilated enough, so they had to force it (whatever they did it hurt).. and then they implanted the device.. (and that hurt worse)…  but the funny part is, that being who I am (I’m o.k. ALL the time)… I decided that I was done, got up, and fainted.  Yep, that’s right, fainted.  The doctor did tell me I looked white, and my comment to him was, “ReallY? I’m so white I glow in the dark.  All the time.” (which I really do, even with fake spray tan on)..   I took a small nap, all went well, and I was home safe and sound by noon (appointment was for 8:30am).

A couple of things:

  1. I love nurse practitioners.  My nurse held my hand, talked to me during my “confusion” phase, and helped me off the floor when I fainted (because I was “just fine”)… Love her.
  2. My doctor said that it works immediately – and he wants to know who the lucky guy who gets christens’ the IUD.. hes so adorable (he has known me for years and knows that I don’t have sex that often)..

So, there it is. I’m ready and prepared to have sex without the biggest consequence – having a baby.  I still will require a condom (lord knows what men are carrying these days)…  but at the very least, I am 99% confident that I will not get pregnant and ruin this fabulous life I’ve created for myself.

When I share the roster, you will see, there are a few men in the running for the “christening event”….

🙂

The Roster.. So Everyone Is In The Know.

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So, at the prompting of all my friends.. I’ve decided to create a Roster List. 

My friends have stated that they cannot keep straight who is on the roster (who has make it to a 3d date) and who has not…  so I’ve agreed to creat a Roster List (just my style) to keep them all informed.  However, I cannot create this list becuase I’m working, working hard.  I’ll do this on the flight home from Atlanta on Friday.

My dating life is not that interesting… I may not be meeting the one (I am still stuck on My Mr. Big. .. still so perfect in so many ways.. tonight I’m in a hotel room that reminds me of the room we shared while in Paris years ago… ).. but at the very least, I’m having a good time.. and my friends want to hear all about it.  The intersting thing – its all new to me, is that I do not sleep with men until we are close to being exclusive.  I dont want to catch any diseases… AND I like to take things slow.  I want to know that these folks are people that I want to spend time with (isnt that what a relationship is about???)..

Anyway, expect a fun update soon!  In the meantime, I’m in Hotlanta, sweating from every pore on my body…   How do people actually live here!?!?!?!?

Summary of a Fabulous Long Weekend.

PaulasPonderings1 Comment

So, I had a lovely lovely weekend. A great mix of time to myself and with friends.  I did get a few things done, not everything on my To-Do list, but hey.. the list was very ambitious.  AND I also went with the flow.. so the weekend played out exactly as it should have.  🙂

I did a few productive and noteworthy things…

  1. Prettied myself up with a facial and a hair cut
  2. Watched WAY too much TV (watching all the past seasons episodes of LOST)… I’m addicted to my Roku Box..
  3. Cleaned out my button box and sewed a few buttons back onto their shirts (with the right colored thread, such a homemaker!)
  4. Ate delicious hotdogs, ribs, and coleslaw at a friends BBQ
  5. Had 2 dates with my Millionaire Match guy (Dinner on Friday, Lunch on Sunday)
  6. Took a couple of naps (one of life’s simplest pleasures)
  7. Went for a couple of runs BUT forgot my FitBit (so there is no proof of my activity)
  8. Went to Trader Joes for some delicious food items (salsa, humus, cottage cheese, frozen berries.. YUM)
  9. Sold 2 sets of drapes..

Re: # 4, I went with my GFP to a BBQ …  it was a lot of fun, I met this really cool woman who I just connected with on LinkedIn. I look forward to talking with her again…  Oh, and did I mention that the food at the party was delicious?!?!?

Re: Item #5, I will definitely be seeing Millionaire Match guy so he needs a nickname.  From now on I will call him Raymond.  He looks and has a voice like the main character in Everybody Loves Raymond, thus the nickname ( I know, so NOT creative).   Raymond is Lebanese, interesting, fun, engaging, has his own set of close friends, has a demanding job, has a good sense of humor…   He is definitely into me, and I’m intrigued by him.. so there will be more dates with Raymond. 

Now I’m back to work… updating power points and creating new demo documentation… wooo hooo. But, my manager is on vacation, so it’s a quiet week… I should be able to complete everything by the end of the week!

Easy Breezy July 4th Weekend.

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So I just finished doing all my travel expenses.. gosh, I’ve been procrastinating doing them, now they are done. Feels so good.  My weekend can now begin..

So what’s on my roster this weekend?  A few random things.  With all that I had going on work wise, I just didn’t have time to make many plans.  And the two girlfriends I do most everything with are out-of-town, so I plan to have a quiet weekend to myself attacking my 500+ to-do’s and seeing a few friends.  I’m actually looking forward to it.

Here is just a taste of my 3 day weekend to-do’s:

  • Get a facial (today at 3:30pm .. yeah!!)
  • Unpacking some final boxes (I’m down to the last four, I’ve committed to unpacking two of them)
  • hang the final two blinds in the office
  • pick up a few prescriptions
  • pick up more vodka (here I come BevMo, I love you!)
  • pick up more cat food
  • figure out how to reduce my Astound cable/internet bill (or just switch to Comcast)
  • Sell a few items on craigslist that I no longer need (if they don’t sell, off to goodwill they go, I have a no-clutter zone in my house)
  • mail some stuff to my family

I know.. bet you are all jealous.  In addition to my to-do’s, I have a few other activities with friends planned.

As most of you know, I have taken my profile off all the lam-o dating websites (Match.com back in March, POF in May).  I heard something about a site called MillionaireMatch.com .. and I signed up. I opted for the free version, so I can only reach out to men who reach out to me first.  Doesn’t bother me – every man I’ve reached out to has not worked out (if they even bothered to respond).  I think men need to do the “hunting”, they enjoy the chase, that’s what interests them, so I’ll give that to them.

Anyway, here are the “outside of my house” activities I have planned:  

  • I have a date on Friday.  Happy Hour with a gentleman from MM. I’m looking forward to it.  Seems really nice and works in my industry – at least if there is no connection, we can go on (and on and on and on…) about software and work travel. 
  • I have tentative plans to  have drinks with C-Licious on Saturday.
  • Nothing on Sunday.. maybe I’ll get all my to-do’s done ??
  • BBQ on Monday with my new girlfriend Peter, GFP.  Yes, the only man who I’m friendly with from The Roster. Love this man.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and are able to spend some quality time with yourself, your family, and your friends.  Enjoy the 3 day weekend!  I know I will.

Serendipity – Take 2.

PaulasPonderings2 Comments

So, what a busy day.  Work has been brutal – a lot of thinking required.  My team and I busted thru the demo build to-do list, and I think we are in a good position.    The week seems long, only because its been a very productive week.

I went out with Middle Seat Airplane Guy last night.  Yes, some men who ask women out on a Tuesday actually follow thru on their suggestions.  He was sweet, kind, charming, and fun!  Another great date for me.  I did go back to his house with him – which is usually a no-no, but I did a bit of internet sluething prior to our date and found out that he is well known in the community as well as the industry he works in.  Therefore, I felt it was a safe bet.  It was interesting to see where and how he lived.  

We did make out a  little…  just  a tiny bit…   I didn’t want it to go too far, as I hear once you go black, you never go back.  😉   I know, so bad.  Anyway, If I’ve learned anything over these last few months, its that men love the chase…   and I like to be admired/desired, so honestly, nothing too heavy happened. It was perfect.  We both wanted more, but were respectful of each others boundaries.   We are going to be in Atlanta at the same time early next week…. we may see each other then, otherwise, I will see him when I’m back in the Bay Area and when he returns from his travels.

I’m excited about it because he intriques me (yes, intellectually and physically)…and I know I am attractive and interesting to him (I could feel it.. huba huba)..   All is good…..   BUT… you know there is always a but……one of us is an inexperienced kisser…. I’ve never had anyone complain about my kissing, so I don’t/didn’t think its me… however, you never know.  Have any of you ladies had a guy that leaves his mouth open (no lip movement.. and he has very nice lips) and just use a somewhat stiff tongue to do not much of anything?  If yes, let me know how to kiss such a man….   I made the best of it as I found the man attractive…. but I’ve never run across this before.  So, I welcome any advice on how to kiss a man who leaves his mouth open, has a stiff tongue,  and doesn’t use his lips much (When I opened my eyes while we were kissing the first word that popped into my head was “carp”).. I know. so RUDE.  Your advice is appreciated.

I’m loving the way this week is playing out….  taking it minute by minute and having a blast!!

Serendipity.

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

OMG..  what a day. I’ve not only done what I’ve never done before, I’ve done it with someone I never thought I would do it with!!

I know, what kind of story do I have to share??!?!  Interested??!!?  Me too.   Learning something new about myself every day.

So, today was a travel day.  I had to travel back East for work …  it takes a while to travel from the West Coast to the East Coast..   I flew JetBlue (SO disappointed that they didn’t have wifi this time).. anyway, I sat down, did my normal thing… yada yada.  There was a seat change right before the flight took off.  A good looking black man got stuck in the middle seat.  Oh well, my thought was he isn’t fat so the trip will be just fine. 

We started chatting, he was really interesting.  We talked almost the whole tim (this is a 5 hour 30 minute flight)….. and he invited me to dinner when we landed.  Now I would NEVER normally do this, but I felt safe AND I have to say, finding a place to eat in Boston after 11pm has proven to be a very big challenge.  So, he knew of a place that was open, we went to dinner, shared a bottle of wine, had fantastic conversation… He then dropped me off at my hotel and guess what?  He invited me to dinner AGAIN on Tuesday.  I have a date in Boston.. my first one! 

So, first, lets take a look at this – this man is 38 (not the 50-55 range that I like), he is black (never even gone there, don’t know anything about this)…  and is really smart in a scientifc way ( he is a multiple degreed scientist who owns his own company that does something with artificial intelligence around genetics (biotech)).. 

O.k. so not the type I spend my time looking for, but honestly, I was intriqued by him – so interesting (so young… ) but I was so comfortable being my oh so charming fun self.  I shared a few personal things, like my addicton to chapstick, ice, and the Amalfi Coast .  None of these things scared him off…  Yes, I’ll let him know of the other things on the “list” in due time..   😉

Crazy day.. Had to share it with my readers…  Beats the last entry by a long shot!!!

It’s a shocker for me…   Letting go, meeting people, and stepping and letting life take me somewhere new and intersting…  Ahhh….. so good.