So, this entry could be titled “Safe Sex is Grand”, “The New IUD”, or “Avoiding Pregnancy”, or any number of “this lady is NOT having a baby” headlines… but I couldn’t think of anything clever, so here we are.
I have talked to many friends about birth control.. married and single friends. Married friends, for the most part, have had their tubes tied and/or their husbands have been snipped. (the number of men who have chosen NOT to get snipped and forced their wives to have their tubes tied is astonishing).. Honestly, all I can think about is John Edwards. Stupid man. If you are going to have an affair, its in YOUR best interest to be snipped.
Anyway, given the words of wisdom and experiences from many friends, I decided to go with the Mirana IUD. I had it “implanted” on Monday. Funny story… My cervix was not dilated enough, so they had to force it (whatever they did it hurt).. and then they implanted the device.. (and that hurt worse)… but the funny part is, that being who I am (I’m o.k. ALL the time)… I decided that I was done, got up, and fainted. Yep, that’s right, fainted. The doctor did tell me I looked white, and my comment to him was, “ReallY? I’m so white I glow in the dark. All the time.” (which I really do, even with fake spray tan on).. I took a small nap, all went well, and I was home safe and sound by noon (appointment was for 8:30am).
A couple of things:
- I love nurse practitioners. My nurse held my hand, talked to me during my “confusion” phase, and helped me off the floor when I fainted (because I was “just fine”)… Love her.
- My doctor said that it works immediately – and he wants to know who the lucky guy who gets christens’ the IUD.. hes so adorable (he has known me for years and knows that I don’t have sex that often)..
So, there it is. I’m ready and prepared to have sex without the biggest consequence – having a baby. I still will require a condom (lord knows what men are carrying these days)… but at the very least, I am 99% confident that I will not get pregnant and ruin this fabulous life I’ve created for myself.
When I share the roster, you will see, there are a few men in the running for the “christening event”….