dating

Procrastination At Its Best.

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Procrastination:  refers to the act of replacing high-priority actions with tasks of low-priority, and thus putting off important tasks to a later time.

The excuses begin valiantly with some exercise.  I just got back from a run with C-Licious.  It’s a gorgeous 75 degree day with a slight breeze.  I should be lounging by a pool in my new polka-dot string bikini, but alas I am not.  I’m still building demo scripts….. and not feeling that compelled to jump back into it.

So, today is your lucky day.. I feel like writing about a few things..

Harold and his desire for a 25-year-old.  Watching Harold make an ass of himself on Millionaire Matchmaker has stuck with me. Maybe it’s because I’m not 25, or maybe because its one of the stupidest things I’ve heard lately.  I’ve seen two things about older men dating younger women in the last two days:

  1. AskMen.com has something to say about it too.  Article is a fun read, clarifies the point that a relationship between an older man and younger woman is probably not ideal.   Obviously Harold missed it.  Someone should alert him that it is NOT actually easier to date a younger woman.  
  2. A rerun on MTV, a show I’ve never seen, part of a series of True Life – I’m Dating Someone Older.  Check out Amber and Bobby.  She’s 25, he’s 47…   He is busy working, she is immature and needy…  sounds/looks like a great situation all around.  It bounces in and out between two couples, but focus on this couple.  Better yet, someone send the link to Harold.  Doesn’t seem easier to me at all…

Secondly, a few weeks ago a  local dating service called and offered me a complimentary membership – they said that I was an ideal match for many of their paying members.  I went to their office and discussed the opportunity… and this week I just signed all the contracts and finished my profile.  So, apparently there are men out there that have PAID a service to find someone who is older, career-focused, fun, and fabulous (not to mention attractive and sexy!!).   It’s an old-school dating service – meaning it’s not online, they are about knowing their clientele.   So, they will present me with a few candidates, I get to pick the one I want to go out with …. Yes, I get to pick.  I cannot wait to see who they present me with, I’m pretty excited about it.  My profile is pretty specific…   Maybe, just maybe I will find that tall, handsome, successful, confident, compassionate, well-to-do man I’ve been looking for.

Thirdly, Girls night was last night.  What a great group of classy ladies.  We had so much fun…  I love these ladies, all successful, gorgeous, and fun.  We had drinks and dinner at a great Restaurant (food is fabulous, service is not good, I’ll be letting them know via Yelp), then walked up the street to this new bar/restaurant that was Fabulous!  One of the gals I was with knew the owner… and  just like that we were in. 

Lastly, I had an early morning this morning.  HulaHoops came over this morning, we played a bit of ping-pong in my woman-cave (otherwise known as the garage), then had berry-mango shakes to cool us down…  I drove her to school, where she ran off to the Fun House. Today is water day… she gets to play with water all day (she said  her favorite was buckets… I guess you get to pour a bucket of water over your head…. I wanted to stay with her ….. but alas, I was responsible and came home to work..

And this day is not over… I’ve got a date tonight….  which I will begin to get ready for in about 2 hours.  It’s so warm out, I will wear a dress and some sexy shoes… knock his socks off..  😉

O.k. Now I really have to get back to work….   Thanks for reading!

Advice for Men and A Few Other Random Things.

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

A few random topics today.

First, I love AskMen.com.  It’s a column/site that gives advice to men, but I read it all the time. I feel like it gives me a glimpse into the male psyche, which I’ve never had (I have no brothers and most men I’ve been with were not communicators).  But I was a bit bored today (building demo documentation .. wooo hooo (not)), so I checked out what AskMen.com had to say…  and low and behold, a fabulous article, written by a man on what women want – The Six Sixes.  It’s about what women want, real women – women that are mature, independent, have careers, that take care of themselves.  In a nutshell, it’s:

  •  a Six-Figure Salary (because we are making them too)
  • Six-Feet Tall (even shorties like me like height on a man)
  • Six-Hundred Horsepower (As much as I love the USA, we don’t manufacture the best cars in America)
  • a Six-Pack (we take care of ourselves, our men should too)
  • at least Six-Months since their last relationship (yes please!)
  • Six-Inches below the belt (need I say more?). 

If men are reading this website, then we can all breathe a sigh of relief…..  if they aren’t, people, for the sake of all single successful women, send them the link!!

I just spent some time with Spicy, and we talked about this exact same topic.  As an established woman, I want to improve my life, which I will do with the Six Sixes, and I will NOT do if too many of these are missing..   If my lifestyle changes, it’s going to be for the better ,not worse (no, I’m not even going to consider a teacher, a plumber, etc…).  I know, get mad at me, do whatever you need to do to get it out, but this lady isn’t going anywhere but up.

Secondly, I received my new pair of shoes today…. I got them at 60% discount and they look fabulous on my feet.  I’m a good 4 inches taller now (going from 5’2″ to 5’6″ feels soooooooooo good)..  Tomorrow is ladies night, anyone want to guess what shoes I’m wearing??  Yep, my new shoes.  Glorious.

Thirdly, my friend FreeBird has helped me revamp my wardrobe.  I have to tell you it’s working.  I’m wearing better fitting clothes, have cleared out all the clothing that doesn’t work for me (is too small, is too big, doesn’t look good), and made room for a few great pieces that can be worn all the time.  I’m telling you, I’ve not had so much attention from men since I grew boobs in high school and performed routines during gymnastics meets.  I still have a few things to do, like be more confident in less conservative items, but I’m doing it. Everyday I’m doing something new…   This is one way that I’m attracting a higher-caliber of man…  Love it. Thank you FreeBird!

So that’s it for now… I do have some thoughts stewing in the ol’ Paula Jukebox…. I’ll be sure to share them once I unscramble the message..

Tracking My Activities.

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

So, I’ve got a new goal: drink less and lose weight.  Yep, I know.. I’m doing it again.

I’ve done well with drinking less in general – I no longer drink on airplanes which is HUGE for me…  now I’m used to it, seems weird to have a drink on the plane now.  Didn’t take that long or was it that painful to make this healthy change in my life.  And in general, with work being so busy, I’ve not had as much time to “cut loose” as I used to.

But after Friday, being wildly hung-over I was (and quite possibly legally drunk until noon or so) at the Atlanta Airport, I’ve decided I’ve got to cut back on the booze for a while.   On Friday I decided to not drink at all for a week.. but that changed on Saturday, when GFP came over and had a few glasses of wine, and had a pomegranate martini with C-Licious on Sunday.

Anyway, I thought that while I’m at it, why not ALSO do what my doctor recommended… which was to eat before I run/exercise.  When I went to the doctor to get my IUD inserted, he told me to eat breakfast.. I let him know I don’t usually eat breakfast… and we had a great conversation on how that is not good for me. He said that if I ate a small bit of protein and carbs before I work out, I could lose up to 5 pounds.   I told him I’d do it (it was on my New Years Resolutions this year, and my weight hasn’t budged down or up), he weighed me before I left, and the bet is on!!

So,  my goal is to:

  • take two sobriety nights a week AND
  • eat before I exercise in the morning. 

And I’m going to document all of my activities (time with friends, dates, goals, etc) on my new fancy  Calendar Of Activities.  Its how I was able to achieve so much last year..  keeping track of it via calendar. Keeps me honest.

What a GREAT Weekend.

PaulasPonderings1 Comment

So you would think that after my Friday travel day disaster that my weekend would be wrecked…. not so.  I had a fabulous weekend.

I usually do not plan anything on the weekends that are directly after my work travel trips, largely because I do not know what I’m going to need to do (work, run errands, etc..).  This weekend, everything I did was impromptu, and it was fabulous.

On Friday, as most of you know,  I missed my flight home and spent the day in Atlanta and Milwaukee.  I did not get home until 1am on Saturday.  The entire day at the airports sucked, big time. It definitely ranks up there as one of the worst travel days ever.  I was so hung over …. could not get comfortable, and when I finally found a place to sleep, didn’t feel safe enough to actually fall asleep. I was absolutely exhausted when I got home…

My girlfriend FreeBird stayed at my house and watched the little ladies (cats).  She obviously took great care of them because they were indifferent to my return.  I love FreeBird.  When I woke up on Saturday, she and I hung out, caught up, and enjoyed a bit of time together.  Then just like FreeBird, she was off to enjoy the weekend with friends and family.

On Saturday,  I cleaned up my room and organized my closet.  FreeBird has helped me update my wardrobe… and I couldn’t be more pleased. FreeBird is so put together, so stylish… so cool.  She has now made me look fabulous and cool… She has totally set me up to meet the higher caliber men I want to meet (and feel super confident that I look awesome when I’m out!!!). 

Saturday night, GFP came over, I fed him some of my chicken parmesan, we watched a few episodes of Curb Your
Enthusiasm after smoking a bowl…  It was so mellow and fun.

On Sunday, I had lunch with a very good friend of mine and her son, My favorite 4-year-old in CA EVER!  Her name is Spicy, and her little man’s name is Little Flirt. He is just darling, and loves his Paula!  Spicy is giving birth to a daughter in a week, a week!!  She is the coolest chick ever…  I can’t wait to see her again, Little Flirt, and the new little lady!

After lunch, I ran a few errands and went to visit C-Licious.  I haven’t seen her in 2 weeks AND she and her dog are sick. I stopped by to see if I could help and to offer my help with Zeke, Black Magic/Sausage….  he loves me .. I love him. We had a great get-together, caught up on the goings-on over the last couple of weeks.  Oh, and she turned on the BBQ and cooked two packages of chicken mango sausages for me (its one of my addictions, but she supports it).  Gotta love a gal who can operate a BBQ.

Now I’m home, blogging about my great weekend, deciding if I should take the time to fill out a “complimentary membership” to a local, “exclusive”, dating service…  Apparently there are men in the area that are looking for a woman just like me – Fun and Fabulous (older, no kids, with a career, and still attractive).  I’ll keep you updated on this activity…

Harold Wants A 25 Year Old.

PaulasPonderings4 Comments

So, I’m watching Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo. I love this show.  I love watching rich men trying to find real love.  I get that men reach their 40’s and want to have a partner,  a family, a fun relationship (they’ve been too busy working or playing to focus on a relationship, and now they want one).  But they want all of this with a 25-year-old. 

I know.. … What did I just say? Yes, a “mature” man is seeking a solid, happy, relationship that includes kids with a 25-year-old.  Why?  Honestly, what do you talk about when you are 48 and they are 25?  Has anyone met/watched kids this age? Especially the pretty ones?  They are SO IMMATURE for the most part (AbFab is definitely excluded from this group). 

I went out a few times with a very good-looking 35-year-old man (years ago, right before meeting My Mr Big). Boy was he a looker…. but he was SO immature.  Even though we were only a few years apart (me being older), there was at least 10 years difference in maturity level.  I couldn’t handle it…. I had to send that fish back to sea. 

Oh, and while at the Atlanta Airport on Friday, I asked two young men if they wouldn’t mind plugging my battery charger into the wall they were sitting next to.  Of course they did it, were very nice about it, but you know what they called me? “Maam”.   Yep, these young 20-something men put me in the same category as their mother.

So back to Harold.  Patty tells Harold the 48-year-old millionaire, that a 25-year-old will only be interested in you for about 10 seconds AND DO NOT WANT a family and kids at this stage in their lives (clubbing is their #1 priority).  She thinks he should be fishing from the 33-38 year-old pool (still 10-15 years younger than him).   Harold fights back… they have a discussion, and he finally agrees that he is willing to meet an “older” woman…

I don’t know what ever happened with Harold and his new dating pool…  The show is about to end and there has been no update.  So, as nice and cute and rich as Harold is, his brain must not be functioning properly…   Obviously money can’t buy you a brain. 

I found a transcript of the Episode with Harold in it…   My favorite lines from Harold are:

  • “I guess the reason why I deal with all the hassle from Patti and Chelsea (the ladies from Millionaire Matchmaker) is that I’m really determined to find the last piece of the puzzle for me, which is falling in love and having a wife and kids. “
  • “I wanna, you know, get married and have kids.  And so, with younger women, it makes it a lot easier.”

 Like I said, money can’t buy intelligence…  and that is a must for me.  Sorry Harold, you are not going to make my Roster!!  😉

New Developments.

PaulasPonderings2 Comments

So, this entry could be titled “Safe Sex is Grand”,  “The New IUD”, or “Avoiding Pregnancy”, or any number of “this lady is NOT having a baby” headlines…  but I couldn’t think of anything clever, so here we are.

I have talked to many friends about birth control.. married and single friends.  Married friends, for the most part, have had their tubes tied and/or their husbands have been snipped. (the number of men who have chosen NOT to get snipped and forced their wives to have their tubes tied is astonishing).. Honestly, all I can think about is John Edwards.  Stupid man. If you are going to have an affair, its in YOUR best interest to be snipped. 

Anyway, given the words of wisdom  and experiences from many friends, I decided to go with the Mirana IUD.  I had it “implanted” on Monday.  Funny story…  My cervix was not dilated enough, so they had to force it (whatever they did it hurt).. and then they implanted the device.. (and that hurt worse)…  but the funny part is, that being who I am (I’m o.k. ALL the time)… I decided that I was done, got up, and fainted.  Yep, that’s right, fainted.  The doctor did tell me I looked white, and my comment to him was, “ReallY? I’m so white I glow in the dark.  All the time.” (which I really do, even with fake spray tan on)..   I took a small nap, all went well, and I was home safe and sound by noon (appointment was for 8:30am).

A couple of things:

  1. I love nurse practitioners.  My nurse held my hand, talked to me during my “confusion” phase, and helped me off the floor when I fainted (because I was “just fine”)… Love her.
  2. My doctor said that it works immediately – and he wants to know who the lucky guy who gets christens’ the IUD.. hes so adorable (he has known me for years and knows that I don’t have sex that often)..

So, there it is. I’m ready and prepared to have sex without the biggest consequence – having a baby.  I still will require a condom (lord knows what men are carrying these days)…  but at the very least, I am 99% confident that I will not get pregnant and ruin this fabulous life I’ve created for myself.

When I share the roster, you will see, there are a few men in the running for the “christening event”….

🙂

The Roster.. So Everyone Is In The Know.

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So, at the prompting of all my friends.. I’ve decided to create a Roster List. 

My friends have stated that they cannot keep straight who is on the roster (who has make it to a 3d date) and who has not…  so I’ve agreed to creat a Roster List (just my style) to keep them all informed.  However, I cannot create this list becuase I’m working, working hard.  I’ll do this on the flight home from Atlanta on Friday.

My dating life is not that interesting… I may not be meeting the one (I am still stuck on My Mr. Big. .. still so perfect in so many ways.. tonight I’m in a hotel room that reminds me of the room we shared while in Paris years ago… ).. but at the very least, I’m having a good time.. and my friends want to hear all about it.  The intersting thing – its all new to me, is that I do not sleep with men until we are close to being exclusive.  I dont want to catch any diseases… AND I like to take things slow.  I want to know that these folks are people that I want to spend time with (isnt that what a relationship is about???)..

Anyway, expect a fun update soon!  In the meantime, I’m in Hotlanta, sweating from every pore on my body…   How do people actually live here!?!?!?!?

Serendipity – Take 2.

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So, what a busy day.  Work has been brutal – a lot of thinking required.  My team and I busted thru the demo build to-do list, and I think we are in a good position.    The week seems long, only because its been a very productive week.

I went out with Middle Seat Airplane Guy last night.  Yes, some men who ask women out on a Tuesday actually follow thru on their suggestions.  He was sweet, kind, charming, and fun!  Another great date for me.  I did go back to his house with him – which is usually a no-no, but I did a bit of internet sluething prior to our date and found out that he is well known in the community as well as the industry he works in.  Therefore, I felt it was a safe bet.  It was interesting to see where and how he lived.  

We did make out a  little…  just  a tiny bit…   I didn’t want it to go too far, as I hear once you go black, you never go back.  😉   I know, so bad.  Anyway, If I’ve learned anything over these last few months, its that men love the chase…   and I like to be admired/desired, so honestly, nothing too heavy happened. It was perfect.  We both wanted more, but were respectful of each others boundaries.   We are going to be in Atlanta at the same time early next week…. we may see each other then, otherwise, I will see him when I’m back in the Bay Area and when he returns from his travels.

I’m excited about it because he intriques me (yes, intellectually and physically)…and I know I am attractive and interesting to him (I could feel it.. huba huba)..   All is good…..   BUT… you know there is always a but……one of us is an inexperienced kisser…. I’ve never had anyone complain about my kissing, so I don’t/didn’t think its me… however, you never know.  Have any of you ladies had a guy that leaves his mouth open (no lip movement.. and he has very nice lips) and just use a somewhat stiff tongue to do not much of anything?  If yes, let me know how to kiss such a man….   I made the best of it as I found the man attractive…. but I’ve never run across this before.  So, I welcome any advice on how to kiss a man who leaves his mouth open, has a stiff tongue,  and doesn’t use his lips much (When I opened my eyes while we were kissing the first word that popped into my head was “carp”).. I know. so RUDE.  Your advice is appreciated.

I’m loving the way this week is playing out….  taking it minute by minute and having a blast!!

I Know Just The Thing To Fix My Somber Mood.

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So, I was feeling a bit down today… a bit bummed about Mr. Meat Market Texter…    Honestly, I thought I had read that situation differently.  Oh well.. I have found a way to pick myself right up!

I had a great converstaion with Unicorns this morning.. we talked about anything and everything.  Its been a while since we’ve caught up – it was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good to hear her voice and commiserate about how sometimes life just gives you a box of  rocks.  She is the best!  And she is considering coming back to the Bay  Area… so excited just thinking about the potential… all the trouble we will find fun we will have!

I also ran out of Greg Goose Vodka (I know, the shame of it all)….. I only had enough for one Pomegranite Martini last  night.  So just now, I ordered myself the big bottle from BevMo.com.. I go pick it up this afternoon….  I’m giddy with excitement.  Momma is coming to get you Goosy!

And this will help me get out of the house .. finally.   I’ve been at my home, working,  probably in the very same clothes I sit and type this entry in … for what now, 3 days?  Since Sunday evening.  I know…too much time alone in one place, I’m feeling a bit like a shut-in.  I absolutely have to get out of this house before I go completely crazy.  So the errand I will get myself all gussied up for is my BevMo pickup.

I am also going to put on a summer dress and sit outside somewhere and let my skin soak up some of the Bay Area’s finest sunshine…  

O.k.. so to make my day a “dream come true” I have to get out of my cat hair fur lined fleece jacket, get into the shower, and pretty myself up!  Yeah for me!!!

The Ones You Want Are Aloof, The Ones You Don’t Want Are Available.

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I know, I know you all know what I’m talking about.  Relationship irony.

So, my date last Saturday is perfectly nice.  He is young (he’s 42 age wise, but very inexperienced.. and sorry GGD, he doesn’t like Sushi.. or fish in general… or any other meat besides chicken…).  The way he has about him reminds me of my EX (not a good thing at all).. and the little things that I saw would begin to bug me real soon (yes, I know myself that well – as adorable as he is now… he would grate on my nerves in about 3 weeks).

But, I had another date this weekend – a brunch date on Sunday… I didn’t mention it because I didn’t think much about it… it was with a guy I’d been emailing with since April…  our schedules finally alligned and we went to brunch.  I am was so happy I followed thru, he was so interesting to me.  I was intrigued… and attracted to him.  He is older (which I loooovvvee).. he is a professional/exec type, and he’s a bit rough around the edges in the sense that he doesn’t care necessarily what others think.  Not unprofessional or offensive, just comfortable in his own skin to be his own person.  This package is yummy to me.

Anyway, the brunch date went very well, and we parted ways even though both of us didn’t want to .. I was drawn to him, he said that he didn’t want the day to end… even invited me back to his place so my bottom could keep his couch warm…(it was funnyat the time, not gross like it sounds now).   Since I could not join him and his couch we made a plan to meet today, Tuesday.

I was excited, didn’t do anything but work hard all day so I could enjoy some time with him… and guess what?  He finally texted me 30 minutes ago … told me his day was crazy and asked how I was doing.  I am still working because he didn’t call and I kept my evening open for our date!  He, however, was enjoying a “fu fu cocktail” at a local bar/pick up joint.  So, I sat at home, didn’t double book myself AND was actually looking forward to spending time with Mr. Brunch… and he was off, busy busy having Happy Hour at a meat market… .Hmmm…  I’d say his actions speak much louder than his words. Good thing I’m a pro at spotting this type of behavior now.

In the meantime, Mr. Ex Look-Alike emailed me and asked me out again!  Thank god Im busy this weekend (I really have a hard time lying to guys who are interested).

And of course, Chicken Legs wants to get together this week.  I forgot to tell you’all that I finally broke up with him.. not that we were ever going out, but I said, once again,  VERY CLEARLY that I’m not interested in dating him.  Friends only or nothing.  He said he got it…..  but he has just let me know he will be in my neck of the woods tomorrow and wants to see me.  I’ve not responded yet… I’m still in that “uggghhhhhh” thought.

Anyway, I’m working from home this week and thought I’d have a few fun events to discuss… nope.  Still sitting at home, working. Not out and about hanging with good looking older men (which I loooovvveee).

So, I pose the question – how do you get the person you like to like you without being fake… or rediculous.. or a slut… or too available?  Hmmm… men, weigh in on this one, give us ladies good, useful tips….