Writing A Bio – What Do You Say When You Don’t Have “Wife/Husband and Kids”?

I will write more about my new job (I LOVE it) later when I have more time. Right now I have to write a professional/personal bio that my manager can send to the masses.  All the examples I see include what people do in their free time – which most often includes a spouse and kids.  Now, if you don’t have a spouse and kids, what do you say?  I can’t put what I usually do – hang out with friends and sleep, eat, and drink to my merriest content… that I’m not married, have no intention of being married, and that I’ve just shacked up with my boyfriend, and that my cats rule the roost.  That they poop in the neighbors garden and I’m now training them to poop in our backyard…  that I’ve not completed one New Year’s resolution this year..

So, without all that brazen honesty, here is what I’m thinking:

Paula most recently joins us from XXX where she was the lead tech sales consultant for the business rules process platform in the Telecom and Media vertical.  Her role was to lead a team thru all stages of a longer-term enterprise sales cycle.  Prior to XXX, she held various consulting, development, marketing, and technical pre-sales roles at Andersen Consulting, PeopleSoft (pre-acquisition), Crossworlds, IBM, and Corticon.  Paula is originally from Provo, Utah and is a graduate of the University of Utah in Salt Lake City.
Paula lives in San Mateo with her boyfriend and two cats and spends her free time with friends doing any number of activities: exercising, cooking, eating, wine tasting, etc.  She has quite a few hobbies, the two that top the list right now are jewelry making and hula hooping.  Learning to sew, knit (again), and speak Spanish are on next years New Years Resolution list.

If any of you have any comments, suggestions on what I should really include that helps me stand out and seem interesting and not like a crazy cat lady please let me know.. I’ve got to get this out by the end of the day.

Do You Have a Clever Halloween Costume Idea?

Hello folks!  So Halloween will be day 3 at my new company AND it is Halloween. Apparently this new company of mine LOOOVVVVEEEESSSS Halloween.

I do NOT have a costume, so I need to come up with something clever.  I absolutely LOVE the Holloween costume tips GG suggests in her post, I may just go with static cling as its easy… I love white trash but I can’t bring that into the work environment.

I’d love to  hear what other ideas are out there for a random costume that doesn’t require a costume and is clever…  please post in comments.

Bring ’em on people, I need ideas!

UPDATE #1:  Here are a few easy ideas from your closet that I found while surfing for safe, workplace costumes:

  1. Cowboy (boots, jeans, bandana, belt buckle or cowboy hat)
  2. Doctor or nurse (scrubs, stethoscope)
  3. ’80s Fabulous (leggings, oversized sweatshirt, teased hair and gold accessories)
  4. Modern witch (black dress, witch hat)
  5. Grunge rocker (concert T-shirt, jeans, flannel overshirt)
  6. Tourist (socks with sandals, panama hat, camera)
  7. Greaser (white T-shirt, rolled jeans, slicked-back hair)
  8. Lumberjack (flannel shirt, jeans, boots, beanie or cap)
  9. Athlete (gym shorts, sneakers, sweatbands, jerseys)
  10. Nerd (high water pants, taped glasses, calculator, drawn-on freckles)

 

 

Workplace Bullying.

Some people just aren’t very nice.  What makes them this way?  Why do they enjoy hurting other people?

I found this link on workplace bullying – http://www.academia.edu/161810/Potential_Legal_Protections_and_Liabilities_for_Workplace_Bullying

They define workplace bullying as:

“Workplace bullying can be defined as the “repeated, malicious, health-endangering mistreatment of one employee by one or more employees”

This results in significant harm to the mistreated employee:

“Bullying can inflict devastating harm on targeted employees. According to Dr. Gary Namie, severely bullied workers may experience conditions such as clinical depression, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, impaired immune systems, and even symptoms consistent with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Many of these individuals are faced with life-altering decisions about whether to stay in or leave a job.”

I have experienced everything listed here.  I gained 10 pounds. I have significant digestive issues – I take 8 pills a day to help me with digestion, regularity, etc.   My doctor has also given me several prescriptions to help me deal with my anxiety and depression, and my last blood test indicated high blood pressure and cholesterol levels, which has NEVER been an issue before now.    His recommendation to me was to quit my job – that is was having a negative impact on my health.

I wanted to make things work.  I spent most of the year trying to “turn her around”; have her see the real me (not her version of me), or at the very least just respect me and the work that I do.  I gave up about a month ago – when a another colleague came into town, and she was nice, friendly, and kind to him.  The words “thank-you” actually escaped her lips, to  him of course, when the truth is, he put us 3 days behind schedule.  It was this point that I lost it – I realized, that no matter what I did, how I did it, it was never going to be enough. She has just had it out for me since the beginning for whatever reason. It is the way it is and there is nothing I could possibly do to change her opinion of me.  

These last 10 months have been so difficult, so challenging. I experienced something that I never thought could ever happen to me. I’m not a victim – I’m likable, professional, and easy to work with.  I’m friendly, I’m kind, I’m a team player, I like people, I like to solve problems. It really never ever occurred to me that this would be the end to this professional chapter.

Yes, my management was/is aware of the situation.  I did not contact HR (I believe that HR is there to protect the company, not me), and to be honest, I didn’t have time. I was truly working 15 hours a day, 7 days a week, for many many months.

This is it for me. I’ll write about my vacation and the amazing oppotunities and adventures I have ahead of me.

Letter of Resignation.

I did it today. Resigned from my current job.  It feels good to no longer tolerate a very bad working situation.  It also feels unfinished to me – I would absolutely not be leaving if it weren’t for the actions and behavior of one person.  But for my physical and mental health, for my relationships – with my boyfriend, my friends, I cannot continue forward on my current path.

I looked up the word resignation on the internet…  the definition is ‘relinquishment of responsibility’.  Synonyms include abandonment, giving up, leaving, quitting, surrender, withdrawal…  Harsh words.

My optimistic side tells me to look at the bright side – that I’m taking control of a bad situation, turning a new leaf, making a healthy decision, choosing a different path. My very thoughtful boyfriend ATrain tells me that this bad situation has pushed me into a new opportunity that I might not have otherwise have seen/taken.  Unicorns is proud of and excited for me.

For now, I’m brooding. I’m unsettled, uncomfortable. Maybe it’s just the circumstances.  Maybe it’s the change.  Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve made some bad professional decisions in the past. Maybe it’s because I’ve had so much change in my life over the last 4 years.  But I’ve never had to leave a job before.  I guess there is a first time for everything.

For those of you interested, here is my resignation letter in its entirety.   Name replaced to protect the guilty.

Please accept this email as official notification of my intent to resign from my position as a Sr. Solution Consultant two weeks from now.  My last day will be Friday, Oct. 26th.  

Over the last two years, I have been inspired by the talent and professionalism of my colleagues and by the power and flexibility of this amazing product.  That has made my decision to leave the company especially difficult.  However, since I began working with Man Hands, I have been in turmoil. 

I have always believed that the surest path to success is for an EA and an SC to work as partners, to collaborate on account strategy and to communicate transparently with each other.  Unfortunately, Man Hands does not share this point of view.  She has been consistently mistrustful of me without cause, has withheld information from me that is critical to my success and to our company’s success at Cisco, and has attempted to tarnish my reputation with colleagues.  And despite the fact that I have gone well beyond the call of duty, logging 12-15 hour days and consistently working weekends for the last six months, her attitude towards me remains unchanged.  Working under such stressful conditions has become mentally and physically debilitating and for that reason, I must resign.

Resigning for these reasons is extremely disconcerting, but, given the circumstances, I don’t feel I have much choice. Senior management does not seem troubled by Man Hands abusive behavior toward me,  therefore, I doubt that any change is imminent.  I have really enjoyed working with you, our team, and the SE organization.  I am passionate about the technology and have really enjoyed being on the forefront of building strong relationships with companies like XXX and XXXX.  And I want to thank you for being a wonderful manager. I appreciate more than you know your support during some of the most difficult times I’ve had professionally.  I know you did everything you could to improve my working conditions and I appreciate that.  I sincerely hope that my resignation does not reflect adversely upon you in any way.

Please let me know if I can provide any assistance with the transition. I would be glad to provide whatever support I can during my remaining time with the company.

And with this letter, I have officially resigned.  I feel good about letting them know why, but I know it still doesn’t change anything. It is what it is.

Housing Update – Purchase In My Future?

So upon very sound advice from CLicious, I went to see the lawyer.

He reminded me over and over again what an idiot I am for investing in a property without a written agreement.  Once we got beyond that, he helped me figure out what my options are.

He said that I should NOT move forward with the open house/sale of the property until the owner and I have a written agreement in place – he saw 2 reasonable options – a Purchase or a Settlement Agreement.  Whichever I chose, it needs to happen before anything else happens.

So I called the owner, said I wanted to talk, and I met with him last night.  We spoke openly and honestly about what we both need/want from this…  we agreed on a sale/purchase price.  if I can qualify for a loan, I could be the new owner of a very nice home on a large lot in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Since it’s the weekend I’ll need to get in touch with the lawyer, draw up a purchase agreement, and find a broker first thing on Tuesday.

On the work front, I have a huge demo to deliver on Monday so I’m working this weekend.  I cannot wait for this project to be done.  I’ve spent most evenings and weekends working since January of this year. I’m tired and completely burned out … I need to take some time away to adjust my perspective… or find a new job.

I’ll update you later this week on my progress on the home and work front.

Should Be Working…

Work is never-ending these days… if it’s not a 300+ question RFI to answer, it’s a training module, customer visit, demo to do…   I’m so overloaded. Have been since the beginning of the year.  I have a list of to-do’s that is two miles long, and a few things on the list are “reach out to FreeBird”.. I know, pathetic.

I did discuss this with my manager…  it’s not going to ‘end’ (it never really does end does it?) until after April 24th.  so I’m stuck working nights and weekends, along with my days, for another month. Definitely makes the head hunter offers in my inbox seem appealing.

But tonight, I should be working. Well, I am working, just taking a short break to have a pity party with my blog friends.  I’m not working – I’m writing to you.. and drinking wine (makes my answers/responses to questions MUCH MORE interesting if I do say so myself).. 😉

So in the last week, I’ve had the great pleasure of putting a smile on my moms face.  Doesn’t matter that I did it, just matters that it happened.  Makes me feel good…  I love being able to do it, and she is the most deserving of anyone on this planet as far as I can tell.  Put up with me, my three sisters, a plethora of bad decisions and grandkids….  and really, all it takes is simple pleasures to put a smile on this womans face.  Gotta love it.  Putting a smile on her face makes me smile – and makes everyone else around me happy – from the cashier at the grocery store to the teller at the bank… (not to mention ATrain!).

Other simple pleasures as of late are:

  • feeding my cats (boy do they love food, and they love folks who feed them.. so yep, they love me!!!)
  • Working out – just trying to keep extra lb’s off …
  • sleep – ambien has been a good friend to me…

With that said, I have 287 more questions to answer… wish me luck, I need it.  Its due by EOD Thursday…. yes, this Thursday. I know. Rediculai.

Job Change Is Definitely In Order.

So take a look at this folks…  http://nyti.ms/GCegDC

I used to be a nanny.  I was a nanny for 5 years. I was a nanny during my youthful years, working hard to earn money for college.  Yes, I graduated college with a finance degree, been working in the software industry for 16+ years.  NEVER have I earned $180K + $3000 in living expenses. EVER. 

I’m seriously considering a job change.  I’ve got experience, I work hard, I am dedicated, I love children and they love me, I am easy on the eyes, I can drive, I will pick up any language you want me to, and honestly, I can dedicate all my time to the success of the family.  I’ve dedicated all my time to my job now… and it stresses me out.  I have ZERO downtime these days.  If I have to give up all my personal time, I would much rather be taking a kid to/from daycare, cooking dinner, working on homework, etc..    What I don’t do? Clean windows or toilets.. but I’m assuming they will have a house cleaner for all that.

Anyone else up for a job change? We can create our own Nanny Network.. the bigger the network, the more our worth..  And if you know of anyone hiring let me know, I’ll give you a finder’s fee if it works out..   Oh, and I live in Northern CA.. willing to go international if need be…   🙂

Giving Thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  This my favorite holiday, a time to really focus on and appreciate what I have.  I have so many great friends, I love the family I’m close to, and I really enjoy my job.  I’m very content with the way my “new” life has turned out… I’m very lucky – I’m healthy and happy.

So, onto a life update.  First, I apologize for being so out-of-pocket.  Work has been busy, and I’ve just not had the energy to write.  I’ve got a ton of things to share, but no time to share them.  A quick update below as I have to go and get ready for my big Thanksgiving dinner with GFP’s family.  GFP is currently on the roster, but over the year, we have become very good friends.  I love this man, he is definitely one of my best friends now.  He will be moving off The Roster and onto my About Me page here shortly. 

Work wise, the meeting in ATL was great, but the deal isn’t going to close this year.  Mama may not get her diamond ring for Xmas.  😦   Good news is that we did what we went to do, and there is potential to close the deal in Q2 of next year.  Works for me.  It’s a deal still on the table. Yeah. 

Family wise, AbFab, the Hubby, Mayonaise, and Shanayhay are heading to CA.  They wanted to drive vs. fly (crazy kids I tell ya). They will be here in a few weeks and will spend a week here…  I can’t wait!  I’ve taken a few days off to spend with them. A lesson I learned while my parents were here.  Yes, my parents came out a few weeks ago and I did not take any time off.  I know, what was I thinking?!?  I absolutely loved having them around, spending time with them in my hood.  My dad wasn’t feeling well so they only met one person. That person?  GFP. Yep, GFP came over and we all watched football together.  It was a very cool evening.

On the dating front, I met a wonderful man unexpectedly.  He was sitting at the bar at my favorite bar/restaurant one evening when I was hanging with CLicious.     He is smart, energetic, fun, has a job that he enjoys, loves his family (he has a 23-year-old son)..  I’ve been out with him 6+ times now.  He is a gentleman thru and thru.  He is older than me by quite a few years – by 23 years.  As you know, I like them older so this doesn’t bother me.  He is so nice to me, always thinking about ways he can take care of me.  I’ve never had a guy want to take care of me – focused on how they can contribute to my happiness.  It’s very different for me.  I’m still uncomfortable with having someone be so kind to me but this is definitely something I need to get over (I’m so used to taking care of myself, why can’t I just let that go a bit and let someone else do something nice for me?!??! This is a topic for another blog).

I’m also thinking about my New Years Resolutions.  I love setting goals for myself..  I’ll spend the next month formulating them… I don’t like Christmas – the commercialism of it all, so I choose to ignore the holiday, be a good person, and think about where I want to go/be next year…  This makes me love this part of the year. 

O.k.. I’ve got to go, get ready to hang with GFP and his family.  Please enjoy the friends and family you’ve chosen to surround yourself with, appreciate what you have, and let go of the rest.

Quick Update.

So I’ve been heads down working. I have a big demo on Tuesday, wish me luck. I’m desperate to close this deal soon – it will bring in the cash I need to buy a ring for myself for Christmas. I was walking by a jewelry store and fell in love with an antique diamond ring…… It’s old-fashioned, has a ton of character, its one of a kind. Its not the diamond per say as it is small…..there is just something about it that has captured me… Im in love.

On the dating side, I was missing Mr. Showtime big time, but slowly I’m getting used to what happened. I’ve had a few dates lately that have been great. I’ve had 2 dates with one man this week alone. He’s a few years older than me, is a real gentleman(old fashioned that way – love to treat a lady like a lady), is a lot of fun, and lives about a mile from me. We have plans to go out when I get back from Atlanta.

On the personal side, I’m looking great. I have my Avon Serum back and am using it religiously…. I’m back to getting carded for alcohol and I’ve had half a dozen people think I was 26-28…. Not bad for a 40 year old.

Ok, I’m off to bed…. I’m so tired and I have a long day tomorrow.

Behavior I Just Don’t Understand.

So, it takes a confused heart to get me back into writing.

Life has been extremely busy since I’ve written last.  I’ve been traveling a LOT for work, my best friend Unicorns is staying with me for a while, and I’ve been actively dating.

  • Work has been great – being busy is a good thing – together with my team we are making good progress on closing a few deals.  They won’t happen right away, but we are definitely moving in the right direction.
  • Friendships – Having Unicorns in town has been fabulous.  I love having her friendship, guidance, and support around me 24-7.   As you will soon learn, its been a good thing.
  • Dating.  Mr. Showtime turned out to be fabulous. We had instant chemistry, lots of things in common, and we had a great time together no matter what was on the roster.  He even met a few of my friends – FreeBird and Unicorns, and they both gave him the thumbs up.  Honestly, up until last week, I would have said that things were progressing very nicely.

But here is the weird thing.  And guys, please pipe in because this kind of behavior is very strange to me.  It’s happened to me twice now  – the first time with Dear Paula Letter Writer, and now Mr. Showtime.   This must be pretty common behavior amongst a certain type of man?  Or is it the timing?  I realize I’m the common denominator here … maybe its me…

Mr. Showtime and I started interacting since our first date.  We weren’t able to spend too much time together, but we were in constant communication.  He would call and/or text me everyday.  He would say sweet and darling things, i would reciprocate.  A few weeks back, Mr. Showtime went to NY for business.  While he was away, he called and texted me every day.  He got back a week ago Saturday night, I picked him up from the airport and returned him to his house.  We spent Sunday morning together, took a drive before he had to go to work.  I dropped him off at his house, with plans for him to come over to my house for dinner that evening.

At the end of the day, he decided he was too tired and wanted to chill at home, which I totally understood (I would have done the same thing).  Here is how the rest of the week/weekend played out:  

  • Sunday:  even though we planned to have dinner, I had to text and call to find out what he was doing. He was tired and wanted to stay home.. got it, no problem.
  • Monday: I reached out .. he responded that he was sick.
  • Tuesday: I offered to stop by with soup… he declined.
  • Wednesday:  no contact
  • Thursday: I texted him asking him if he felt better.  Suggested we get together on Sunday.  His return text, “That sounds nice”.
  • Friday: no contact
  • Saturday:  I texted him, asked him how he was feeling.. wondering if he was up still up for Sunday.  No response.
  • Sunday:  I texted him in the morning,  sharing with him I was a bit worried and just asked that he let me know he was alive.  I got a “I’m helping my daughter move”.  I thanked him for letting me know, wished him well with the move and that I would call later.  I called in the evening, got his VM, left a brief message.
  • Monday – Today:  Left him a VM stating I’d love to catch up and he could call me anytime.

So that’s it. I’ve put the ball in his court.   It’s very strange to me that we would communicate pretty much every day since we met, and now he has dropped off the face of the earth.  But I do believe that his actions are very consistent with someone who prefers not to see or speak to me again, so my plan is to let it go.  If I don’t hear from him by later this week, my plan is to send him a simple email something along the lines of “it’s fine you’re no longer interested, but I really wish you would have told me so directly”… I’m mean come on people, aren’t we all adults here? 

Honesty, simply disappearing from the face of the earth is just rude and I’ll never understand it. I did a bit of research on this topic, ran across this article, Why Men Disappear, which gives me some clarity…   but I’m still confused that people in general are o.k. with this strategy.   My Mr. Big was able to do it, Dear Paula Letter Writer did it at the 2 month mark, and it appears that Mr. Showtime is at it himself now that we are at the 2 month mark.  Its funny, I struggled with breaking up with Chicken Legs, but at the very least we had the conversation multiple times. 

This is why I have a confused heart.  My heart is churning, trying to find a reason for it, because it just doesn’t make any sense.   I would have never expected this from Mr. Showtime (or Dear Paula Letter Writer for that matter…)  He was very clear about his interest, very consistent with both his verbal and physical communication… up until a week ago.  Just so odd….and has me searching for the why….

I should be focusing on a demo right now, but I just felt the need to get this out there.  I’m hoping by sharing it with you, you can help me figure it out, and release the confusion from my head and heart, because frankly, I’m getting tired thinking about it.  I know I’ll be fine… it’s just another blip on the radar of my romantic life.

😦