Thoughts & Experiences

Fig, Figs, and more Figs.

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I have a fantastic fig tree in my backyard.  It is amazing.  Not only does it look good, it produces. And boy, this year with all the extra rain, it will have given me what feels like 1000’s of figs.

So,  I’ve been picking figs for a while now, picking and eating the ripe figs on a daily basis.  Now, more figs are ripening, and its happening at a pretty steady clip.  To give you an idea, last Saturday I picked 10 pounds of ripe figs from the tree!   Thats right, 10 pounds. I know for sure because I put them in a bag and then on the scale.  I measured twice.  10.1 pounds of figs.

Now, when I was picking the figs, I was NOT able to get the ones at the very tip top of the tree. I got the ones at my level (6 feet or below). I climbed into the tree and got all the ones in the tree and that were reachable from the strong arms of the tree.  However, there were some gorgeous, ripe figs that I was unable to reach (mostly at the top of the tree). 

I was sharing my fig-picking story with my friends, and they offered up a friend of theirs who is very very tall (unbeknownst to him).  It was all fun and games (but not entirely a bad idea – he is a  cutie!!).  Anyway, I accepted the offer to borrow a real fruit picker, which I will pick up this weekend (just to clarify, I’m borrowing a tool, not the guy).

So,  with my fig bounty, I spend all day Sunday preparing fig treats.   

  •  I made a batch of fig jam which is so good AND it has half the sugar of what the recipe called for – here is the fig preserve recipe I used, its De-Licious!!  
  • I am still drying about 2 lbs of figs now (the natural way, I do not have a dehydrator)
  • I took a bunch to work for co-workers
  • And still have 2 pounds or so left over for my personal eating pleasure

Needless to say, I went to bed Sunday in Fig Heaven.   Ahhhh..

But Monday morning, around 4am, I woke up with a start.  I heard major wrestling outside….  I got up, looked out the window, and there were what appeared to be a dozen raccoons on the grass and in the fig tree ..  having a party.  They were moving and shaking, talking to one another, it literally was a ‘coon bash in my backyard. 

I now lock the cats in the house in the evenings because of the raccoons so I knew they were safe,  but I went outside anyway to scare the raccoons off.  Hardly.  I threw rocks at the ones on the ground and they just scurried themselves up and into the tree. They totally didn’t care about me or the rocks…..  One of them climbed to the top of the tree and began eating a fig – just kept eating without a care in the world. 

Funny thing – they weren’t afraid of me, but when they started wresting around in the tree because of the flash on my camera, I got so scared I ran into the house, my heart beating wildly!  I’m such a wuss!

I will got out and pick figs again this Saturday…  and I plan to can a few (the mormon/polygamist is coming out in me).. as well as make fig and raisin bread pudding….   I welcome other suggestions as I have a lot of figs!

Moved On… Mostly.

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So, I feel that I’ve mostly moved on (from the divorce).  I thought I had completely recoverd until recently. 

Most of the time when I think about th EX and his behaviors,  I just shrug and say “oh well,  his deal, not mine” and just move on.   I do this 90% of the time.  But that other 10% …well, I still have some work to do. 

You see, my EX is getting re-married.  Marrying the woman he cheated on me with (or one of the women, who knows).  This in and of itself doesn’t bother me, what is bothering me, and gets my blood boiling, is the years of my life he wasted.

For years my Ex was somewhere else…. check-out, missing, out of touch, disconnected. I asked him, over and over again, about  about his happiness, our relationship, his distance.  In fairness, we had a lot going on, it was not easy.  I struggled, he struggled…..  We struggled independently, never together.  Our struggles did not bring us closer.  I wanted them to, I asked and asked what I could do… I always got nothing – he said he was “fine”.

BUT he wasn’t fine.  He was living a double life – obviously very unhappy in his “public” life, but he never said anything.  I think this is what ultimately still gets be all worked up (the feelings I’ve not dealt well with) is the frustration/anger over the EX’s dishonesty.  The EX could have left in 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007..  I was begging him for communication, honesty and truth. I Gave him an out every time… I just wanted him to be happy, even if that meant NOT with me.   But he bold face lied to me  – said he was “fine”.   My nievate, his words, or a combination of both, made me believe that we could make it.  Knowing what I know now, makes me realize what a dumb ass I was.   And I HATE feeling like I’ve been played.

Its not my nievate that bugs me (it will soon enough though), its his dishonesty and the time I wasted because of it.   Had he just been honest with me, I could be in an entirely different place.  Had he said what he really felt (or at the very least talked about what he was doing), we could have seperated/divorced in 2005 (which is when I think he “disconnected”) and  I would be in an entirely different place. My life could have involved a new family, a loving husband, etc…. Now, at 40, I realize, I will be a great step-mom…   Three years is not a big deal on the larger scheme of things, but 3 years at 35-36 is a very big deal.

Yes, I hear you, another pitty party for Paula…  but honestly, its really hard NOT to think about how different my life could be right now had the EX  had an ounce of integrity and had just been honest.

Now, I am aware that I chose to stay in a less-than-ideal relationship, but I did it for the right reasons – I was in love.  I really thought/believed/felt that we could make it.  Had I known what I know today, I would have made very different decisions. And this is what frustrates me.  I wasn’t given the option to make the decisions that were best for me.

The good news is is that I believe this to be the last hurdle.  I do think that after I resolve my feelings about this I will be ready to get back out there.

Sometimes it just take a while to rebound, and my journey has been long and hard – 2008-2010 where the years of recovery and discovery.   2008 and 2009 are a bit hazy, 2010 has been a year of learning and getting myself back to the same place I was 10 years ago. You could say I’ve gone full circle, I’ve landed in the same “space” (obviously much older, wiser, and more mature) that I was 10 years ago –  I’m once again the “single, unmarried woman”, purchasing a house in an “up and coming” neighborhood…  

But 2011, 2011 will be my year, another Year of the Paula.  … . New home, healthy cats, a “daugther” with a degree, and now room in my heart and life for a new and loving partner.  2011 will be my year.   Watch out Paula fans!!

New Horizons.

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So, today is the last day of my vacation. Tomorrow, Sunday, I’m on my way home, begin work on Monday, and fall back into the basic routine of my everyday life.

But today is one of the most memorable for me.  I just completed a vacation where I got uninterrupted time with both my mother and my neice. 

I spent 3 days, 2 nights with my mother, who told me stories about she and my father, about their parents, and their grandparents.  It was fascinating to learn more about my parents NOT as parents, but as people; as children, teenagers, and young folks; to hear about their lives, growing up, and the history that has influenced who I am.  I will share some of these stories as I process them.

I also  spent 3  nights, 3 days with my niece, who I feel as close to as a daughter (I imagine).  We talked about anything and everything; her children (3 and 1, the darlingist little ladies in the world!!), our family, our relationship, our past, her future….   I am so incredibly proud of her.   You see, I had custody of her years ago, during her teenage years.  Unfortunately for all of us, we needed to place her in a girls school for  a year.  We chose a school in Hurricane, UT because of its program to counsel vs. punish…  Today, 5 years later, my neice and I went to the school, drove thu Hurricane, and relived that difficult time.   The experience feels both like it happened yesterday AND forever ago.

The reason that today was so special for me is because of how much my niece has matured and what a great person she has become.  I knew this day would come, I had confidence in her, I believed in her… and today, her plans for herself and her girls, proved to me that the difficult experience we had was all worth it.   Its hard to believe that the 2 year old I fell head over heals in love with is now 21, a mother of 2 very happy and healthy girls, and a  college student.  She amazes me.

I have a few pictures of us, with town of Hurricane, UT behind us (so fitting).  What I’ve shared here is a view of Hurricane without us as to not blow my cover.  BTW, the pictures of us turned out fabulously – we are absolutely gorgeous!!  🙂

Found the Mouse.

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This is an update to a previous post, Mouse in Hiding. 

The mice were found by a GE repairman, named Willy, when he came to replace the washing machine control board. 

After I escorted Willy to the laundry room, I went to the dining room to get back to work.   I could hear his electric screwdriver taking out screws to the top and front panels.  I heard a few moving around noises,  then an “Ugghhh”, then a “Ms.”….. ” “Ms…?”  I went into the laundry room, and here is what I found:

It became instantly clear why a) the laundry room smelled so bad, b)  I couldn’t find the mouse, and c) the washing machine broke.  The mice had short circuited the master control panel of the washing machine.  They literally, had fried, were electricuted by the washer.  😦

I was mortified.  The only thing I could think to do is take a picture (the one you see here), take a video (which I cannot get working), and avoid eye contact with Willy.  I asked him if he had ever seen anything like this.  His response:   “No.  Never.”.    He took off the control board and replaced it with a new one. However,  the new one he brought with him was defective so he needed to put the original one back in.  He then asked me to do something I never thought I would ever have to do – He asked me to clean up the original control board. 

I had to scrape the mice off the control board, pick off all the fried hair and skin, then brush the board with a toothbush, gently, so I did not destroy the pieces and gadgets on the control board.  It was SO GROSS and it smelled really bad.  Really bad.  Really really bad.  It took me about 20 minutes to clean the control panel.  I worked in silence, both of us not knowing what to say to one another.   Willy finally said it was clean enough to put it back into the washer.  He took it from me,  re-installed the control panel, put the top and front panels back on, then gave me a bit of advice on how to work with GE to get the part (on backorder) and installed BEFORE the warranty expired.

This story goes on and on, dealing with GE’s customer service folks is a story all in of itself.   I will write about this later. There seem to be a lot of very bad Customer Service Reps out there.. but there are a few good ones.    I have stories of both.

A New Beginning.

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I have some great news to share with you.  I am almost the proud owner of a newly rennovated old (1905 to be exact) home.  Honestly, after my divorce I did not think I would be able to afford a home in the Bay Area in the neighborhoods that I wanted to live in.

With the housing crash and a bit of good luck, its going to happen for me.  I’ve known for about 4 weeks now, but I’ve not wanted to jinx myself – so I’ve not shared the news with many folks.

I currently live in a transitional neighborhood – not many folks are like me, in both ethnicity or family size.  I live in a largely spanish and very family oriented neighborhood.  I see a lot of families out, talking walks with their kids, their pets, heading/returning to/from work..  Its a great blue collar neighborhood.   I’m not like them, but the neighborhood is safe, close to the freeways, close to all my friends, and the cats love it. 

Here is how it happened:  A few months back I asked my landlord if I could purchase the house I live in – its a beautiful, rennovated craftsman style home.  It has a lot of its original character… I just love it.  But alas, the owner said no. Given the market conditions, I started looking around… homes were starting to come around in my price range but not in the neighborhoods I wanted to live….

BUT, then the luck happened to me.  My landlord has another house TWO doors down that he is interested in selling.  It’s in terrible condition… but has good bones.  We walked thru it with him, and I could see it – I could see the perfect house… the perfect house for me.  I was sold.  We negotiated a price (which includes rennovations), and woaalaa, the process has started.

So today, it became very real.  I went to Home Depot with the project manager/contractor and designed and PURCHASED my Kitchen.  My new Kitchen will arrive in approximately 4 weeks and will be installed shortly thereafter.   Spending a lot of money sure makes it all become reality.

There is so much I’m getting with this, which is why it feels so surreal….   The plan is for me to move into the new home sometime in October.  That a little less than 2 months away!!  Here are the items that I get really excited about:

  • Working with the team to design the house…  moving walls, designing kitchens and bathrooms, picking materials, its so much fun.  The house is going to be me…..
  • The house has soooo much character.  I do love the older homes and the quality/character that was put into them.  This home was built in 1905… the main rooms have coved ceilings, and the entire house has 9 foot ceilings..
  • A patio/deck off of the kitchen.   I’ve wanted this since 201 Chester (10 years ago).   I have designed the new kitchen with a six foot slider that leads onto a large deck… just dreamy!
  • Three bedrooms AND two bathrooms, one of them a master bathroom.  My own bathroom… sooooo nice!
  • A laundry room with a counter and shelves… places to store laundry room stuff and a counter to fold my dried goods….. so luxurious!

So, when I get a chance I will post pictures. The house looks like nothing now, a shell of its to-be fabulous self.   I will post the pictures as I take them and we can watch the transformation together.

Friends, Coons, and Cats.

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Hello friends.

Last week was just absolutely crazy.  There was something going on every single day/evening..  I usually keep to myself, would be considered a shut-in if I didn’t have to go to work everyday….

My dearest friend from Paris was in town with her boyfriend and his daughters.  I had so much fun with them, but boy my friend runs a tight ship.  She had the family doing something every day – it reminded me of my family trips way back when…   a story for another time.    They family left on Wednesday, heading for Southern California (where you can actually get in the water without a wetsuit) and good ol’ Las Vegas (you have to see it at least once!).

In addition, Zoey cut her foot really badly and had to go to the hopital on Monday.  I woke up on Monday with blood all over the bed, and it wasn’t from me. Zoey was curled up next to my head, which is unusual…  when I got out of bed I saw all the blood.  I checked her out, and sure enough, she had a deep gash/cut on the back of her bony little foot.  She was so sad, the vet said it was very painful and they had to put her down, give her some anesthesia to fix her up.  She was a bit out of it last week, but she is back to her funny furry self now.

We also had a ‘coon problem ’round these parts.   A mother and baby pair of raccoons settled themselves into my attic – which would be fine with me if they weren’t so mean and hated cats so much.  The bad news is the mom raccoon was trapped and euthenized, the good news is the baby raccoon is being domesticated by a friend of the trapper.  I’ve just received an update, the baby is being hand fed and is eating everything that he/she is given.  Next step is to ‘get cuddly’ with the raccoon…   I can’t wait to get another progress report.

Hooping Queen.

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I had dinner with girlfriends this evening.  Some of my favorite girls nights are with the A-Team (mother and daughter pair).  Love these people.

Anyway, A1 is one of my best friends,  A2, her daughter,  who just turned 6, is so much fun.  I did not have the opportunity to go to her birthday party (darth vader theme, is she cool or what?!?), but I did have the opportunity to give her an unwrapped gift – a hoola hoop.  I had recently given one of these gems to another little friend of mine, it was so much fun, I had to get another one. I’m glad I did.

A2 is apparently a hoola hoop queen. Her mother did not know, but we both learned today, with much delight, that the kids are hooping.   I have to tell you, there is so much joy in watching a little kid hoola hoop their little heart out.  This got me thinking about Hoola Hooping…..  and here is what I found on the www:

  • Hoola is actually spelled Hula.  I have been alive for 39 years, known about the hula hoop for 30+ years, and never thought it was spelled any other way than hoola.  Crazy.  For history on the Hula Hoop, check out wikipedia – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hula_hoop.
  • There is an entire subculture of people dedicated to hooping. You can join one of the many communities here: http://www.hooping.org/ .  Join and find hooping friends in your area …
  • Forget Hooters girls, how ’bout a Hoola Girl??  Check this out:

I am going this weekend to get myself a hula hoop and start hooping! Great exersize that puts a smile on your face AND gives you a great body?!?    Sign me up!!!!

I Scream for Ice Cream.

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Yum yum… nothing is better in the summer time than a cup o’ ice cream.  I dont usually keep it in the house because, of course, I’ll eat it.  This is contradictory to my weight loss goals, so thus, no ice cream in the house.

However,  I did buy some ice cream, just had a scoop (small one!) .. and it was delicious.   Ice cream is so good, one of life’s simple pleasures.  I’d love to have an ice cream maker and make it myself. I hear its easy and SO MUCH FUN.

My childhood favorite was Mint ‘n Chip from Baskin Robbins.  My “new” favorite is Jamoca Almond Fudge, new being 10 years now….  If I have to buy it in the store, I prefer vanilla or cookies ‘n cream…  

Ok, I have to go to bed, I’m exhausted. Work has been too much for me lately…. I need a vacation…. or maybe a bit more ice cream.  😉

So Far So Good with Weight Loss.

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Hello all.

I know its been forever, there are so many things going on that I’m not writing about!  I will do better this month.

Good news – I’m officially down 7 pounds.  My middle has widdled(not all the way), my legs look stronger, and more importantly, I am almost ready for my beach body unveiling (which begins August 23rd).    I’d love to lose another 5 pounds before I reveal my body to the world, but for now, I’m satisfied. Ideally I’ll lose another 15, and be at my high school-college weight. 

Its interesting, because I know 7 pounds is not that big of a deal, but I am happy when I get on the scale and I see that its adjusting downward… and I feel much more confident.  Now, I just need to stand up taller and straigher… 

The beach body vacation is scheduled for the week of August 23rd. My mom and I have rented a condo, and we are going to sit by the pool, cook dinners, go shopping, get pedicures, etc..  Just relax and do nothing.  Its been a long time since either of us have done nothing, so this will be very theraputic for us. 

For those of you who have wished me luck on my NYR, thank you.   I hope you are all gaining on your goals and are feeling good about your progress.

Mouse in Hiding.

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So last Monday was a tough one.  I had an 8am call, a 9am in the office meeting, and a 7am step-over-the-gift from the cats morning…  I thought almost stepping on a cleaned-up dead mouse was bad.. but that isn’t even close to what I’m experiencing now.

The mouse I mention in my last blog?  No, not the one the cats brought to me as a gift, the other one they brought around, alive, and chased around the house.  I never received the gift….  but after a few days, I know where it is.  It is dead, under the washer or dryer, rotting.  It’s been hot at home lately (I live in No. CA), so the smell has been horrific.  I do not have the strength to move the washer or dryer by myself (believe me I have tried).  The cats dont seem to notice… its killing me.

I’m going to have a friend over tomorrow to help me move the washer and dryer, find that dead, rotting mouse body, and toss it out.  I’ll be so relieved when “it” is gone.