So, the house is not ready yet, but the exterior painting is almost complete. It should be done today. The only things left to do are flooring and interior paint. Then the appliances go in, then I move in! Three weeks, and this will be my new casa. Crazy.
Anyway, not much time to write, but attached is the picture of my painted lady… I picked green for good luck. 🙂
2011 will be the year of Paula!!
I stopped by the new house today. Check out the progress. The electrical work was signed off by the city, the insulation and wallboard goes in. By Friday, the house will seem like a house (instead of a disaster area). I’ve been taking pictures along the way, so I’ll post some of the good before and after’s on the site.
I am 8 weeks into construction, and I have another 4 weeks to go. I will be moving in early November. Its crazy to think how this stroke of good luck came to me….
Anyway, I’ve attached a picture of the front of the house as it looks today. The reason I decided to post the picture is because much wont change from what you see except the color. To stay on budget, there are a few things that I just cant afford to do right now:
All in all, these are items that are very nice to haves, but not must-haves. Must haves are a kitchen, laundry room, bathrooms, etc.. As long as I can live in it comfortably, the rest will just have to wait.
I have a fantastic fig tree in my backyard. It is amazing. Not only does it look good, it produces. And boy, this year with all the extra rain, it will have given me what feels like 1000’s of figs.
So, I’ve been picking figs for a while now, picking and eating the ripe figs on a daily basis. Now, more figs are ripening, and its happening at a pretty steady clip. To give you an idea, last Saturday I picked 10 pounds of ripe figs from the tree! Thats right, 10 pounds. I know for sure because I put them in a bag and then on the scale. I measured twice. 10.1 pounds of figs.
Now, when I was picking the figs, I was NOT able to get the ones at the very tip top of the tree. I got the ones at my level (6 feet or below). I climbed into the tree and got all the ones in the tree and that were reachable from the strong arms of the tree. However, there were some gorgeous, ripe figs that I was unable to reach (mostly at the top of the tree).
I was sharing my fig-picking story with my friends, and they offered up a friend of theirs who is very very tall (unbeknownst to him). It was all fun and games (but not entirely a bad idea – he is a cutie!!). Anyway, I accepted the offer to borrow a real fruit picker, which I will pick up this weekend (just to clarify, I’m borrowing a tool, not the guy).
So, with my fig bounty, I spend all day Sunday preparing fig treats.
Needless to say, I went to bed Sunday in Fig Heaven. Ahhhh..
But Monday morning, around 4am, I woke up with a start. I heard major wrestling outside…. I got up, looked out the window, and there were what appeared to be a dozen raccoons on the grass and in the fig tree .. having a party. They were moving and shaking, talking to one another, it literally was a ‘coon bash in my backyard. 
I now lock the cats in the house in the evenings because of the raccoons so I knew they were safe, but I went outside anyway to scare the raccoons off. Hardly. I threw rocks at the ones on the ground and they just scurried themselves up and into the tree. They totally didn’t care about me or the rocks….. One of them climbed to the top of the tree and began eating a fig – just kept eating without a care in the world.
Funny thing – they weren’t afraid of me, but when they started wresting around in the tree because of the flash on my camera, I got so scared I ran into the house, my heart beating wildly! I’m such a wuss!
I will got out and pick figs again this Saturday… and I plan to can a few (the mormon/polygamist is coming out in me).. as well as make fig and raisin bread pudding…. I welcome other suggestions as I have a lot of figs!
So, I feel that I’ve mostly moved on (from the divorce). I thought I had completely recoverd until recently.
Most of the time when I think about th EX and his behaviors, I just shrug and say “oh well, his deal, not mine” and just move on. I do this 90% of the time. But that other 10% …well, I still have some work to do.
You see, my EX is getting re-married. Marrying the woman he cheated on me with (or one of the women, who knows). This in and of itself doesn’t bother me, what is bothering me, and gets my blood boiling, is the years of my life he wasted.
For years my Ex was somewhere else…. check-out, missing, out of touch, disconnected. I asked him, over and over again, about about his happiness, our relationship, his distance. In fairness, we had a lot going on, it was not easy. I struggled, he struggled….. We struggled independently, never together. Our struggles did not bring us closer. I wanted them to, I asked and asked what I could do… I always got nothing – he said he was “fine”.
BUT he wasn’t fine. He was living a double life – obviously very unhappy in his “public” life, but he never said anything. I think this is what ultimately still gets be all worked up (the feelings I’ve not dealt well with) is the frustration/anger over the EX’s dishonesty. The EX could have left in 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007.. I was begging him for communication, honesty and truth. I Gave him an out every time… I just wanted him to be happy, even if that meant NOT with me. But he bold face lied to me – said he was “fine”. My nievate, his words, or a combination of both, made me believe that we could make it. Knowing what I know now, makes me realize what a dumb ass I was. And I HATE feeling like I’ve been played.
Its not my nievate that bugs me (it will soon enough though), its his dishonesty and the time I wasted because of it. Had he just been honest with me, I could be in an entirely different place. Had he said what he really felt (or at the very least talked about what he was doing), we could have seperated/divorced in 2005 (which is when I think he “disconnected”) and I would be in an entirely different place. My life could have involved a new family, a loving husband, etc…. Now, at 40, I realize, I will be a great step-mom… Three years is not a big deal on the larger scheme of things, but 3 years at 35-36 is a very big deal.
Yes, I hear you, another pitty party for Paula… but honestly, its really hard NOT to think about how different my life could be right now had the EX had an ounce of integrity and had just been honest.
Now, I am aware that I chose to stay in a less-than-ideal relationship, but I did it for the right reasons – I was in love. I really thought/believed/felt that we could make it. Had I known what I know today, I would have made very different decisions. And this is what frustrates me. I wasn’t given the option to make the decisions that were best for me.
The good news is is that I believe this to be the last hurdle. I do think that after I resolve my feelings about this I will be ready to get back out there.
Sometimes it just take a while to rebound, and my journey has been long and hard – 2008-2010 where the years of recovery and discovery. 2008 and 2009 are a bit hazy, 2010 has been a year of learning and getting myself back to the same place I was 10 years ago. You could say I’ve gone full circle, I’ve landed in the same “space” (obviously much older, wiser, and more mature) that I was 10 years ago – I’m once again the “single, unmarried woman”, purchasing a house in an “up and coming” neighborhood…
But 2011, 2011 will be my year, another Year of the Paula. … . New home, healthy cats, a “daugther” with a degree, and now room in my heart and life for a new and loving partner. 2011 will be my year. Watch out Paula fans!!
So, today is the last day of my vacation. Tomorrow, Sunday, I’m on my way home, begin work on Monday, and fall back into the basic routine of my everyday life.
But today is one of the most memorable for me. I just completed a vacation where I got uninterrupted time with both my mother and my neice.
I spent 3 days, 2 nights with my mother, who told me stories about she and my father, about their parents, and their grandparents. It was fascinating to learn more about my parents NOT as parents, but as people; as children, teenagers, and young folks; to hear about their lives, growing up, and the history that has influenced who I am. I will share some of these stories as I process them.
I also spent 3 nights, 3 days with my niece, who I feel as close to as a daughter (I imagine). We talked about anything and everything; her children (3 and 1, the darlingist little ladies in the world!!), our family, our relationship, our past, her future…. I am so incredibly proud of her. You see, I had custody of her years ago, during her teenage years. Unfortunately for all of us, we needed to place her in a girls school for a year. We chose a school in Hurricane, UT because of its program to counsel vs. punish… Today, 5 years later, my neice and I went to the school, drove thu Hurricane, and relived that difficult time. The experience feels both like it happened yesterday AND forever ago.
The reason that today was so special for me is because of how much my niece has matured and what a great person she has become. I knew this day would come, I had confidence in her, I believed in her… and today, her plans for herself and her girls, proved to me that the difficult experience we had was all worth it. Its hard to believe that the 2 year old I fell head over heals in love with is now 21, a mother of 2 very happy and healthy girls, and a college student. She amazes me.
I have a few pictures of us, with town of Hurricane, UT behind us (so fitting). What I’ve shared here is a view of Hurricane without us as to not blow my cover. BTW, the pictures of us turned out fabulously – we are absolutely gorgeous!! 🙂
I’m a bit slow to update my blog in general, but I’m even more slow now because I’m on vacation! I’m in St. George Utah, a gorgeous, hidden gem of a place. It’s still in Utah, so it is hard to get a cocktail around here, but its just so incredible here nature wise. Take a look at the red rock views below… and the weather is great – hot and dry.
I’m working on my bikini-clad beach body tan, and 4 days into it, I still DO NOT have tan lines. I’ve been careful not to burn myself by using SPF 8, but lordy, I would think my skin would be a bit more bronze given the amount of time of been out in the sun (about 8-10 hours). Tomorrow, Friday is my last day to get some sun, so I may go without any sunscreen …. we shall see. Wish me luck – I’d like to go home witih dark skin and some deep tan lines.
Lastly, this place brings back a lot of memories, good and not so good. I will share a few of these stories with you at a later date – when I have time and am ready to reminisce about a few of the hardest years of my life.
This is an update to a previous post, Mouse in Hiding.
The mice were found by a GE repairman, named Willy, when he came to replace the washing machine control board.
After I escorted Willy to the laundry room, I went to the dining room to get back to work. I could hear his electric screwdriver taking out screws to the top and front panels. I heard a few moving around noises, then an “Ugghhh”, then a “Ms.”….. ” “Ms…?” I went into the laundry room, and here is what I found:
It became instantly clear why a) the laundry room smelled so bad, b) I couldn’t find the mouse, and c) the washing machine broke. The mice had short circuited the master control panel of the washing machine. They literally, had fried, were electricuted by the washer. 😦
I was mortified. The only thing I could think to do is take a picture (the one you see here), take a video (which I cannot get working), and avoid eye contact with Willy. I asked him if he had ever seen anything like this. His response: “No. Never.”. He took off the control board and replaced it with a new one. However, the new one he brought with him was defective so he needed to put the original one back in. He then asked me to do something I never thought I would ever have to do – He asked me to clean up the original control board.
I had to scrape the mice off the control board, pick off all the fried hair and skin, then brush the board with a toothbush, gently, so I did not destroy the pieces and gadgets on the control board. It was SO GROSS and it smelled really bad. Really bad. Really really bad. It took me about 20 minutes to clean the control panel. I worked in silence, both of us not knowing what to say to one another. Willy finally said it was clean enough to put it back into the washer. He took it from me, re-installed the control panel, put the top and front panels back on, then gave me a bit of advice on how to work with GE to get the part (on backorder) and installed BEFORE the warranty expired.
This story goes on and on, dealing with GE’s customer service folks is a story all in of itself. I will write about this later. There seem to be a lot of very bad Customer Service Reps out there.. but there are a few good ones. I have stories of both.
I have some great news to share with you. I am almost the proud owner of a newly rennovated old (1905 to be exact) home. Honestly, after my divorce I did not think I would be able to afford a home in the Bay Area in the neighborhoods that I wanted to live in.
With the housing crash and a bit of good luck, its going to happen for me. I’ve known for about 4 weeks now, but I’ve not wanted to jinx myself – so I’ve not shared the news with many folks.
I currently live in a transitional neighborhood – not many folks are like me, in both ethnicity or family size. I live in a largely spanish and very family oriented neighborhood. I see a lot of families out, talking walks with their kids, their pets, heading/returning to/from work.. Its a great blue collar neighborhood. I’m not like them, but the neighborhood is safe, close to the freeways, close to all my friends, and the cats love it.
Here is how it happened: A few months back I asked my landlord if I could purchase the house I live in – its a beautiful, rennovated craftsman style home. It has a lot of its original character… I just love it. But alas, the owner said no. Given the market conditions, I started looking around… homes were starting to come around in my price range but not in the neighborhoods I wanted to live….
BUT, then the luck happened to me. My landlord has another house TWO doors down that he is interested in selling. It’s in terrible condition… but has good bones. We walked thru it with him, and I could see it – I could see the perfect house… the perfect house for me. I was sold. We negotiated a price (which includes rennovations), and woaalaa, the process has started.
So today, it became very real. I went to Home Depot with the project manager/contractor and designed and PURCHASED my Kitchen. My new Kitchen will arrive in approximately 4 weeks and will be installed shortly thereafter. Spending a lot of money sure makes it all become reality.
There is so much I’m getting with this, which is why it feels so surreal…. The plan is for me to move into the new home sometime in October. That a little less than 2 months away!! Here are the items that I get really excited about:
So, when I get a chance I will post pictures. The house looks like nothing now, a shell of its to-be fabulous self. I will post the pictures as I take them and we can watch the transformation together.
Hello friends.
Last week was just absolutely crazy. There was something going on every single day/evening.. I usually keep to myself, would be considered a shut-in if I didn’t have to go to work everyday….
My dearest friend from Paris was in town with her boyfriend and his daughters. I had so much fun with them, but boy my friend runs a tight ship. She had the family doing something every day – it reminded me of my family trips way back when… a story for another time. They family left on Wednesday, heading for Southern California (where you can actually get in the water without a wetsuit) and good ol’ Las Vegas (you have to see it at least once!).
In addition, Zoey cut her foot really badly and had to go to the hopital on Monday. I woke up on Monday with blood all over the bed, and it wasn’t from me. Zoey was curled up next to my head, which is unusual… when I got out of bed I saw all the blood. I checked her out, and sure enough, she had a deep gash/cut on the back of her bony little foot. She was so sad, the vet said it was very painful and they had to put her down, give her some anesthesia to fix her up. She was a bit out of it last week, but she is back to her funny furry self now.
We also had a ‘coon problem ’round these parts. A mother and baby pair of raccoons settled themselves into my attic – which would be fine with me if they weren’t so mean and hated cats so much. The bad news is the mom raccoon was trapped and euthenized, the good news is the baby raccoon is being domesticated by a friend of the trapper. I’ve just received an update, the baby is being hand fed and is eating everything that he/she is given. Next step is to ‘get cuddly’ with the raccoon… I can’t wait to get another progress report.
I have two weeks to go until my vacation with my mom – the one where we reveal our new beach bodies. My goal was to lose 10 lbs before this vacation. Seemed like it would be easy to shake the 10 lbs, but it has NOT been. BUT, the good news is that I am now officially down 9 lbs. 9 lbs!! I have broken the 120 mark (finally consistently below it). I have exactly one more pound to go …. but with a lot of veggies and water, I feel confident that I will be down the full 10 pounds by August 23rd.
I am so excited about it – last weekend I unpacked all my “skinny clothes” and tried them on. To my delight, most of them fit! I kept the ones that were in style and got rid of the rest. I NEVER plan to go back to the heavier weight again. I feel so much better, more confident now. I can only imagine I how I will feel when I loose another 10 pounds!!
As I lose the weight, I do feel better, mybody feels better, and I have more energy. However, its my thoughts that have to change most … I do still feel like “the fat kid”… and I am very conscious NOW of how my weight effected me. And it is not how people treated me, its how I treated myeslf; the way I feel about myself.
I’m working on it, changing my mental thoughts will take a while. In the meantime, I am making progess by wearing clothes that fit me better, more slender/slimming clothes vs. the clothing that I was wearing to “hide” my body. I will also work on walking a bit straigher, more upright, and with more confidence. My lesson learned so far is that weight loss is as much of a mental shift as it is a weight shift…
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Paula's Ponderings 