New Year is A’Coming.

big-changes-coming-soonI get SUPER EXCITED about the New Year – I see it as an opportunity for reflection and change.  I love to look back on the year, see where I am, where I am not, as compared to my goals and aspirations.

This year was the first year I did not write down my resolutions – and I’m paying for it.  I have no way to measure myself, and I feel like I wasted most of the year.  I gave up on 2014 about 4-5 months ago.  A lost year for me.  I wanted to do so much, but did almost none of what I wanted.  This year, I’m starting early.

I feel like I’ve already started on my 2015 resolutions. I do not want another year to go by and be in the same place.  I’m serious about making a plan and working that plan….

One of the biggest changes that happened already is a job change.  I really wanted to call Zuora home, but they were like family that only wants you to stay a few days, not for a while.  I tried my best to stay, worked really hard to do something amazing. . Alas, I clued in that we weren’t on the same page so I moved on.  Bums me out as I loved the technology and all my customers…  but unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be.  I’ve been at the new company for a month now, so far so good.  I’m taking a lead, doing what I love (to organize things, make a difference), and learning new things.  I am looking forward to finding my professional home – the place that feels like home when I’m not home. So far so good.  So far there aren’t any real politics that I can see, just a great bunch of good, solid, really smart people all working towards the same objective/goal/outcome.  Great technology and culture.  I feel like I fit in.  It will be a matter of time before I figure out if I do or not.

I’ve spent the last 10 months trying to break up with A-Train.  I love him, but I’m convinced we are not meant to be a couple. For a variety of excuses reasons, It hasn’t happened yet.  He is a super nice guy, I love being around him, we just aren’t a good team.  My fear of losing him as a friend stops me from doing what is best for the both of us.  Although I still do not know why in the world he wants to be with me – I’m a horrible girlfriend.  I will someday provide a list of all the ways I’m a horrible girlfriend….

Anyway, one resolution is to write more.  I like to write, its therapeutic for me, and I love the advice/wisdom I get from my readers.  So expect more this year from me. I’m ready to deliver.

Keep me honest folks – hold me to my goals and commitments!




Almost There – 9 Pounds Down.

I have two weeks to go until my vacation with my mom – the one where we reveal our new beach bodies.  My goal was to lose 10 lbs before this vacation.  Seemed like it would be easy to shake the 10 lbs, but it has NOT been.  BUT, the good news is that I am now officially down 9 lbs. 9 lbs!!  I have broken the 120 mark (finally consistently below it).  I have exactly one more pound to go ….   but with a lot of veggies and water, I feel confident that I will be down the full 10 pounds by August 23rd.

I am so excited about it – last weekend I unpacked all my “skinny clothes” and tried them on.  To my delight,  most of them fit!   I kept the ones that were in style and got rid of the rest.  I NEVER plan to go back to the heavier weight again.  I feel so much better,  more confident now. I can only imagine I how I will feel when I loose another 10 pounds!!

As I lose the weight, I do feel better, mybody feels better, and I have more energy. However, its my thoughts that have to change most … I do still feel like “the fat kid”…  and I am very conscious NOW of how my weight effected me.  And it is not how people treated me, its how I treated myeslf; the way I feel about myself.

I’m working on it, changing my mental thoughts will take a while.  In the meantime, I am making progess by wearing clothes that fit me better, more slender/slimming clothes vs. the clothing that I was wearing to “hide” my body.   I will also work on walking a bit straigher, more upright, and with more confidence.    My lesson learned so far is that weight loss is as much of a mental shift as it is a weight shift…