PaulasWorld

AirTran – You Suck. Why I Will Never Fly You Again.

PaulasPonderings2 Comments

I’m traveling for work a lot these days…  to far away places like Atlanta where only a few airlines fly…. I’ve been flying a discount airline to save my company money – I do enjoy being a good corporate citizen.  However, I have now drawn the line.  Let me share why it’s the end of the line for AirTran.

I have flown them now a total of 10 times (counting the flight that I’m on now).  I have not had one good experience with them, every flight has had trouble.. different trouble, but trouble none the less.  Let me begin.

  1. Their “Rewards program”.  I don’t really think you can call it this.  I still can’t see one single benefit from being a part of this program…. I still cant figure out what use my A+ points are.  They tell me I can use them for upgrades and/or free flights.. hmm… 
    • First off, where do they actually fly to? Lets see, Atlanta, Milwaukee, Baltimore, and Orlando…   Certainly not ‘hot spots’ in my book.  Why would I ever want to go to any of these places in my free time?
    • Secondly, lets talk upgrades.  I have enough points for 2.5 upgrades… However, its NEVER been an option for me… I keep asking why… no one can answer me …  I actually don’t think its possible to upgrade on AirTran.
    • Thirdly, do I get better seat choices? No, not with status or points, only with cash… and even then, not so much.  The green colored areas only mean I get “free” wireless … my knees still touch the seat in front of me…
  2. Next up, “Customer Service”.. actually, I should state this more clearly as “Customer Disservice”.  Boy do I have a lot to say about this.  
    • Phone “Customer Service Reps“..uhh huhhh… the name for these folks should be “I don’t give a shit about you but AirTran pays me to answer the phone so whats the problem I won’t help you with today”?  Honestly…  these people don’t know policy from their asshole.  Every single time I call (because I cant get the info from the website or I can’t do what I need to do on the website),they give me wrong information. And while they do it, I can feel their “No Way I’m Helping You” attitude bleed thru the phone.
    • Airport Counter Reps.   The counter reps are the most non-customer focused people I’ve met in the business (and I’ve traveled a lot). Maybe its just SF or Atlanta, but I’ve never seen a more lazy, non-helpful bunch of un-enthusiastic people in my life.  Each one acts as if their life could not get any worse, and if you ask them for anything (like information about changing your flight), they just might slight their throat right in front of you.  I’ve never seen anything like it – and yes, I’ve flown United where the attendants are so disgruntled they speak with nastiness and physically push people around. Delta sucks too. But at least with United and Delta, there is the off-chance that someone says “bye-bye now” and means it.  Case in Point – I get to the airport having done whatever the phone CSR recommended, the Desk Reps say, ” that’s too bad, he (the CSR Phone Rep)  should have been more informed”…. not “lets see how I can help you”, “let me see what I can do”.. you know what she did… she left and took a smoke break.  Yep, thanks for sharing your concern, I’ve got to go drink my Gatorade and have a smoke with Jamal now.    Uh huh.. I bet it works the other way around too.  It’s a special game they have going on… the “lets see who can provide the worst customer service’.  Yeah, not funny.  
    • How they ‘expertly‘ (sense the sarcasm??)  work together:   Case in point – today.  I called the phone “CSR” and he told me that I could either pay for a ticket (I was trying to catch an earlier flight – I could pay a change fee and the fair difference of $400 to be guaranteed a spot) or take my chances and fly standby. I asked If he could put me on the standby list, he said “no, you have to do that at the airport”…  So, I get to the airport, find out I’m 8th on the standby list, but would have been 1st on the list had the “CSR” actually put me on the standby list when I called…  I found this out because no less than 3 desk agents told me the asshole agent on the phone should have put me on the standby list.  Uh huh. I would have been on an earlier flight home, but thanks to the jackass on the phone, I will have spent 5 hours in the Atlanta airport and 5 hours in the air getting home.  Yes, thank you for getting me home safely is NOT on the tip of my tongue right now.
  3. Airport “Security” Personnel.. There is definitely a difference in the security personnel that “protect” the secure the AirTran gates…  I think this team must be special needs.  This is where the failures/fall-outs from the other airline terminals go. Like the misfits in the Santa Clause movie.  I’ve never seen anything like it.  After standing in a non-moving line for 40 minutes, you alert one of them that your flight is departing in 20 minutes.  After some back and forth (because English is NOT their native language), they put you in the “express line”.. which honest to god, is slower than the original line.  And if you say to them, “my flight is now boarding in 10 minutes”, they say “you should have gotten here sooner”… even AFTER they know you’ve been standing in their lines for almost a solid hour!  They are jus the stupidest bunch of people I’ve ever seen…  and they don’t get smarter with more experience…  its the same B.S. every time I fly thru San Francisco Terminal 1 gates for AirTran.
  4. AirTran Customers.  Where do I begin…
    • Am I the only english speaking person on the plane?  Honestly,  I feel like I’m traveling in a 3rd world country.  I’m pretty much the only white person with a regular sized suitcase. I am literally the only person not headed to a home country of Mexico or India.
    • Size and smell of these folks … Gross.   The fattest, stinkiest, and loudest people take AirTran. Case in point – the guy sitting in front of me is talking about having just been to court and “beaten the system”  because he got off on time served… and that his “ex” can “fuck herself”…  He is a tall bald-headed black guy with shorts so baggy I’m afraid if he gets up they will fall down and I will see his ass crack… Yep, real winner.   I should let him know I’m single. 
    • Oh, and for the 10th time in a row I’ve got some person whose body and arms can’t fit in their own seat/between their armrests. And her husband is 30% bigger than her.  You know the kicker?  I asked to go to the bathroom (I’m in a window seat), and they both didn’t move, they wanted me to crawl over them!!!  Yes, that’s right, it would take so much time to get their fat asses out of the seat they would rather have me straddle them to get to the aisle.  I’m grossed out just thinking about it.   I did ask them to get up and they were so perturbed.  They have no idea what a foul mood I’m in …. they better watch themselves is all I have to say.
    • And I just asked the kid behind me to stop kicking and fucking with the tray…I said, in a calm voice, “I just want you to be aware that what you do to the seat in front of you affects the person actually sitting  in that seat.  So when you need to grab and pull on the seat in front of you, realize that you are pushing and shoving person sitting in front of you.  His sister and mom stared at me – and really, shouldn’t the mom tell her kid this?  Manners people!!
  5. AirTan Accommodations… meaning the planes and service on board. 
    • Almost every flight I’ve been on has had something wrong with the seat I was sitting in. The second or third flight the seat I was in was missing the cover….just a foam seat.   The next flight the seat wouldn’t recline (broken button), the following flight had exposed springs on the seat…  
    • Every flight is booked solid (with stinky fat people who have zero airplane manners (or general manners if you ask me) – for example, if the bathroom sign says “occupied” you do NOT need to keep twisting and turning the bathroom handle/knob.  Idiot.
    • What happened to the food?  So the flight is 6 hours, you can’t have more than peanuts on the plane?  No snack boxes?  Gees…   I bring my own snacks now, but lordy, it seems like prisoners have it better than me – at the very least they have food and TV…  
  6. Flight Attendants… now here is a unique group of people.  Maybe it’s because they are based in Atlanta, but most of the flight attendants are black, have crazy names, and are NOT very customer service oriented… They certainly don’t take serving drinks seriously… and watch out if you actually hit the call button.. you may get a verbal beating… I saw a funny female comedian, Angela Johnson, do a skit on black flight attendants, and I think she must have flown on AirTran before… check this out.  All I’m saying is watch out for the Shaniqua, Telananque, and Bon Qui Qui’s.   

So, this blog is my bold and fierce statement that I would rather got to ATL in a Greyhound bus than take another AirTran flight…  Mark my words, I WILL NEVER take another AirTran flight. I don’t care how much less expensive it is. The pain and suffering that I go thru EVERY SINGLE TIME I fly them is not worth it.  It makes work travel worse than it needs to be…. and that is where I draw the line.

So, AirTran, I gave you a shot. Not just once, but 10 times.  You have proven that you are inferior to all other airline in ways that I never thought possible.

UPDATE – I’m just getting ready to post this and my seat mate just adjusted herself… she has squished her fat ass under the arm and it is now touching me!  Why doesn’t she point that thing at her husband??????   Gees.

Sun Silliness.

PaulasPonderings1 Comment

So I have not written in a while because Unicorns is in town.   I’ve been working too hard, but we have still managed to find our fair share of fun thus far.  There are stories she needs to tell, a few I need to share with all of you (Unicorns said they needed to be made public).. …

Today we enjoyed our morning, reminiscing over our Saturday night good time.  Unicorns made eggs “Unicorn” style, mixed with soy-rizo (better than chorizo I swear!) and black beans.  Delicious.  We then went to GFP’s condo to sun ourselves, except that the wind was blowing and it wasn’t that warm.  So we sat outside, in broad daylight, chatted some more, WITHOUT SUNSCREEN.

Yes, that’s right.  Two whitey’s hanging out in the sun, in the middle of the day, without sunscreen.  Unicorns had the wherewithal to at least have a top on (which is what gave her the fancy tan lines).  I was not quite as smart…  I was in my bikini, enjoying the sunshine…. and lets just say that I’m very red on the front side. White as a ghost on the backside (I didn’t turn over.. not once).

We then had a lovely dinner with SmartyPants & HulaHoops… so much fun. The sleepover is scheduled for next weekend!  Yes, that’s right, we are having a girls sleep-over next Saturday.  Should be a GREAT time.

O.k.. so I’m off to bed.  I’m cold and sore… my skin hurts….    Have a great week everyone!

 

Dinner, Dancing, Drinking, and Kissing Oh My!

PaulasPonderings1 Comment

My weekend was fabulous!  The weather was absolutely perfect AND I got a lot of personal stuff done.  I’m ready to tackle some of the bigger stuff now, like the 7 months of mail sitting in my office, understanding and reducing the bills associated to my rental condo, and file my taxes.   One of my New Years Resolutions was to get my financial house in order, I better start working on it if I’m going to accomplish anything this year.

Ok, back to my weekend.  Friday was great – I went to the Giants game with my friends Fiesty, Money, and their family.  The Giants lost, but I had the luxury of watching the game from a Box, eat a hot dog,  some buffalo wings, a bit of mac and cheese, AND drink champagne and wine.  I also got to meet a few of Fiesty’s family members, cousins…  who were very cool and fun to hang out with. 

On Saturday I ran a few errands then went to dinner at my favorite restaurant with SmartyPants, C-Licious, and Dancing Queen.  C-Licious went home to take care of her sick hubby, and then Dancing Queen headed home at 9:30pm to take care of her darling boys.  That left SmartyPants and I together, and being slightly buzzed, we came up with a great idea – Dancing.  We hit the local dance club (not fancy at all … and we were the only white people in the room).  I called up GFP and he showed up 20 minutes later and the dance party was started… and did not end until 11:30 or so. 

So here is the interesting part, and shows, very clearly, that I do not have an “off button”.  We all went back to my house (good decision) and SmartyPants went directly to bed.  I tried to get her to stay up and play some more, but alas she was down and out for the night ((another good decision – I don’t call her SmartyPants for nothing).  I then proceeded to make GFP and myself a few pomegranate martini’s (bad decision #1 )… we got stoned (bad decision #2 ),  drank our martini’s (bad decision #3), ate a few snacks…  We watched Shawshank Redemption 3 times… and here is the kicker.. we started making out (bad decision # 4, 5, and 6)… !  I know! WTF right?  We’ve been hanging out since January and nothing has happened except one time in early February then he gave me the “let’s be friends” talk…  Which I was fine with – he’s a great guy.   Anyway, I  have no idea how it started, but it did.  I’m not exactly sure what to do about it except chalk it up as another instance of making a bad decision.  I don’t think its a big deal, we should probably talk about it just to clear the air, that “just friends” doesn’t include sexual contact…..

So, tonight is a sobriety night for me.  I’m going to bed sober here in about 40 minutes.  This week is going to be SO FUN as Unicorns is coming into town. I cannot wait to see her, and our adventures will give me much to write about…  yeah for all of us!

Procrastination At Its Best.

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Procrastination:  refers to the act of replacing high-priority actions with tasks of low-priority, and thus putting off important tasks to a later time.

The excuses begin valiantly with some exercise.  I just got back from a run with C-Licious.  It’s a gorgeous 75 degree day with a slight breeze.  I should be lounging by a pool in my new polka-dot string bikini, but alas I am not.  I’m still building demo scripts….. and not feeling that compelled to jump back into it.

So, today is your lucky day.. I feel like writing about a few things..

Harold and his desire for a 25-year-old.  Watching Harold make an ass of himself on Millionaire Matchmaker has stuck with me. Maybe it’s because I’m not 25, or maybe because its one of the stupidest things I’ve heard lately.  I’ve seen two things about older men dating younger women in the last two days:

  1. AskMen.com has something to say about it too.  Article is a fun read, clarifies the point that a relationship between an older man and younger woman is probably not ideal.   Obviously Harold missed it.  Someone should alert him that it is NOT actually easier to date a younger woman.  
  2. A rerun on MTV, a show I’ve never seen, part of a series of True Life – I’m Dating Someone Older.  Check out Amber and Bobby.  She’s 25, he’s 47…   He is busy working, she is immature and needy…  sounds/looks like a great situation all around.  It bounces in and out between two couples, but focus on this couple.  Better yet, someone send the link to Harold.  Doesn’t seem easier to me at all…

Secondly, a few weeks ago a  local dating service called and offered me a complimentary membership – they said that I was an ideal match for many of their paying members.  I went to their office and discussed the opportunity… and this week I just signed all the contracts and finished my profile.  So, apparently there are men out there that have PAID a service to find someone who is older, career-focused, fun, and fabulous (not to mention attractive and sexy!!).   It’s an old-school dating service – meaning it’s not online, they are about knowing their clientele.   So, they will present me with a few candidates, I get to pick the one I want to go out with …. Yes, I get to pick.  I cannot wait to see who they present me with, I’m pretty excited about it.  My profile is pretty specific…   Maybe, just maybe I will find that tall, handsome, successful, confident, compassionate, well-to-do man I’ve been looking for.

Thirdly, Girls night was last night.  What a great group of classy ladies.  We had so much fun…  I love these ladies, all successful, gorgeous, and fun.  We had drinks and dinner at a great Restaurant (food is fabulous, service is not good, I’ll be letting them know via Yelp), then walked up the street to this new bar/restaurant that was Fabulous!  One of the gals I was with knew the owner… and  just like that we were in. 

Lastly, I had an early morning this morning.  HulaHoops came over this morning, we played a bit of ping-pong in my woman-cave (otherwise known as the garage), then had berry-mango shakes to cool us down…  I drove her to school, where she ran off to the Fun House. Today is water day… she gets to play with water all day (she said  her favorite was buckets… I guess you get to pour a bucket of water over your head…. I wanted to stay with her ….. but alas, I was responsible and came home to work..

And this day is not over… I’ve got a date tonight….  which I will begin to get ready for in about 2 hours.  It’s so warm out, I will wear a dress and some sexy shoes… knock his socks off..  😉

O.k. Now I really have to get back to work….   Thanks for reading!

Advice for Men and A Few Other Random Things.

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

A few random topics today.

First, I love AskMen.com.  It’s a column/site that gives advice to men, but I read it all the time. I feel like it gives me a glimpse into the male psyche, which I’ve never had (I have no brothers and most men I’ve been with were not communicators).  But I was a bit bored today (building demo documentation .. wooo hooo (not)), so I checked out what AskMen.com had to say…  and low and behold, a fabulous article, written by a man on what women want – The Six Sixes.  It’s about what women want, real women – women that are mature, independent, have careers, that take care of themselves.  In a nutshell, it’s:

  •  a Six-Figure Salary (because we are making them too)
  • Six-Feet Tall (even shorties like me like height on a man)
  • Six-Hundred Horsepower (As much as I love the USA, we don’t manufacture the best cars in America)
  • a Six-Pack (we take care of ourselves, our men should too)
  • at least Six-Months since their last relationship (yes please!)
  • Six-Inches below the belt (need I say more?). 

If men are reading this website, then we can all breathe a sigh of relief…..  if they aren’t, people, for the sake of all single successful women, send them the link!!

I just spent some time with Spicy, and we talked about this exact same topic.  As an established woman, I want to improve my life, which I will do with the Six Sixes, and I will NOT do if too many of these are missing..   If my lifestyle changes, it’s going to be for the better ,not worse (no, I’m not even going to consider a teacher, a plumber, etc…).  I know, get mad at me, do whatever you need to do to get it out, but this lady isn’t going anywhere but up.

Secondly, I received my new pair of shoes today…. I got them at 60% discount and they look fabulous on my feet.  I’m a good 4 inches taller now (going from 5’2″ to 5’6″ feels soooooooooo good)..  Tomorrow is ladies night, anyone want to guess what shoes I’m wearing??  Yep, my new shoes.  Glorious.

Thirdly, my friend FreeBird has helped me revamp my wardrobe.  I have to tell you it’s working.  I’m wearing better fitting clothes, have cleared out all the clothing that doesn’t work for me (is too small, is too big, doesn’t look good), and made room for a few great pieces that can be worn all the time.  I’m telling you, I’ve not had so much attention from men since I grew boobs in high school and performed routines during gymnastics meets.  I still have a few things to do, like be more confident in less conservative items, but I’m doing it. Everyday I’m doing something new…   This is one way that I’m attracting a higher-caliber of man…  Love it. Thank you FreeBird!

So that’s it for now… I do have some thoughts stewing in the ol’ Paula Jukebox…. I’ll be sure to share them once I unscramble the message..

Tracking My Activities.

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

So, I’ve got a new goal: drink less and lose weight.  Yep, I know.. I’m doing it again.

I’ve done well with drinking less in general – I no longer drink on airplanes which is HUGE for me…  now I’m used to it, seems weird to have a drink on the plane now.  Didn’t take that long or was it that painful to make this healthy change in my life.  And in general, with work being so busy, I’ve not had as much time to “cut loose” as I used to.

But after Friday, being wildly hung-over I was (and quite possibly legally drunk until noon or so) at the Atlanta Airport, I’ve decided I’ve got to cut back on the booze for a while.   On Friday I decided to not drink at all for a week.. but that changed on Saturday, when GFP came over and had a few glasses of wine, and had a pomegranate martini with C-Licious on Sunday.

Anyway, I thought that while I’m at it, why not ALSO do what my doctor recommended… which was to eat before I run/exercise.  When I went to the doctor to get my IUD inserted, he told me to eat breakfast.. I let him know I don’t usually eat breakfast… and we had a great conversation on how that is not good for me. He said that if I ate a small bit of protein and carbs before I work out, I could lose up to 5 pounds.   I told him I’d do it (it was on my New Years Resolutions this year, and my weight hasn’t budged down or up), he weighed me before I left, and the bet is on!!

So,  my goal is to:

  • take two sobriety nights a week AND
  • eat before I exercise in the morning. 

And I’m going to document all of my activities (time with friends, dates, goals, etc) on my new fancy  Calendar Of Activities.  Its how I was able to achieve so much last year..  keeping track of it via calendar. Keeps me honest.

What a GREAT Weekend.

PaulasPonderings1 Comment

So you would think that after my Friday travel day disaster that my weekend would be wrecked…. not so.  I had a fabulous weekend.

I usually do not plan anything on the weekends that are directly after my work travel trips, largely because I do not know what I’m going to need to do (work, run errands, etc..).  This weekend, everything I did was impromptu, and it was fabulous.

On Friday, as most of you know,  I missed my flight home and spent the day in Atlanta and Milwaukee.  I did not get home until 1am on Saturday.  The entire day at the airports sucked, big time. It definitely ranks up there as one of the worst travel days ever.  I was so hung over …. could not get comfortable, and when I finally found a place to sleep, didn’t feel safe enough to actually fall asleep. I was absolutely exhausted when I got home…

My girlfriend FreeBird stayed at my house and watched the little ladies (cats).  She obviously took great care of them because they were indifferent to my return.  I love FreeBird.  When I woke up on Saturday, she and I hung out, caught up, and enjoyed a bit of time together.  Then just like FreeBird, she was off to enjoy the weekend with friends and family.

On Saturday,  I cleaned up my room and organized my closet.  FreeBird has helped me update my wardrobe… and I couldn’t be more pleased. FreeBird is so put together, so stylish… so cool.  She has now made me look fabulous and cool… She has totally set me up to meet the higher caliber men I want to meet (and feel super confident that I look awesome when I’m out!!!). 

Saturday night, GFP came over, I fed him some of my chicken parmesan, we watched a few episodes of Curb Your
Enthusiasm after smoking a bowl…  It was so mellow and fun.

On Sunday, I had lunch with a very good friend of mine and her son, My favorite 4-year-old in CA EVER!  Her name is Spicy, and her little man’s name is Little Flirt. He is just darling, and loves his Paula!  Spicy is giving birth to a daughter in a week, a week!!  She is the coolest chick ever…  I can’t wait to see her again, Little Flirt, and the new little lady!

After lunch, I ran a few errands and went to visit C-Licious.  I haven’t seen her in 2 weeks AND she and her dog are sick. I stopped by to see if I could help and to offer my help with Zeke, Black Magic/Sausage….  he loves me .. I love him. We had a great get-together, caught up on the goings-on over the last couple of weeks.  Oh, and she turned on the BBQ and cooked two packages of chicken mango sausages for me (its one of my addictions, but she supports it).  Gotta love a gal who can operate a BBQ.

Now I’m home, blogging about my great weekend, deciding if I should take the time to fill out a “complimentary membership” to a local, “exclusive”, dating service…  Apparently there are men in the area that are looking for a woman just like me – Fun and Fabulous (older, no kids, with a career, and still attractive).  I’ll keep you updated on this activity…

Harold Wants A 25 Year Old.

PaulasPonderings4 Comments

So, I’m watching Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo. I love this show.  I love watching rich men trying to find real love.  I get that men reach their 40’s and want to have a partner,  a family, a fun relationship (they’ve been too busy working or playing to focus on a relationship, and now they want one).  But they want all of this with a 25-year-old. 

I know.. … What did I just say? Yes, a “mature” man is seeking a solid, happy, relationship that includes kids with a 25-year-old.  Why?  Honestly, what do you talk about when you are 48 and they are 25?  Has anyone met/watched kids this age? Especially the pretty ones?  They are SO IMMATURE for the most part (AbFab is definitely excluded from this group). 

I went out a few times with a very good-looking 35-year-old man (years ago, right before meeting My Mr Big). Boy was he a looker…. but he was SO immature.  Even though we were only a few years apart (me being older), there was at least 10 years difference in maturity level.  I couldn’t handle it…. I had to send that fish back to sea. 

Oh, and while at the Atlanta Airport on Friday, I asked two young men if they wouldn’t mind plugging my battery charger into the wall they were sitting next to.  Of course they did it, were very nice about it, but you know what they called me? “Maam”.   Yep, these young 20-something men put me in the same category as their mother.

So back to Harold.  Patty tells Harold the 48-year-old millionaire, that a 25-year-old will only be interested in you for about 10 seconds AND DO NOT WANT a family and kids at this stage in their lives (clubbing is their #1 priority).  She thinks he should be fishing from the 33-38 year-old pool (still 10-15 years younger than him).   Harold fights back… they have a discussion, and he finally agrees that he is willing to meet an “older” woman…

I don’t know what ever happened with Harold and his new dating pool…  The show is about to end and there has been no update.  So, as nice and cute and rich as Harold is, his brain must not be functioning properly…   Obviously money can’t buy you a brain. 

I found a transcript of the Episode with Harold in it…   My favorite lines from Harold are:

  • “I guess the reason why I deal with all the hassle from Patti and Chelsea (the ladies from Millionaire Matchmaker) is that I’m really determined to find the last piece of the puzzle for me, which is falling in love and having a wife and kids. “
  • “I wanna, you know, get married and have kids.  And so, with younger women, it makes it a lot easier.”

 Like I said, money can’t buy intelligence…  and that is a must for me.  Sorry Harold, you are not going to make my Roster!!  😉

Observations from the Atlanta Airport.

PaulasPonderings5 Comments

So, I missed my flight from Atlanta to SF today…. by minutes.   AirTran (an airline I have nothing nice to say about) let me pay an extra $300 for the privilege of taking a later flight.. a much later flight.   My new flight departs at 5pm.. takes me to Milwaukee, where I get on an 8pm EST flight .. and get home at 11pm PST.  Yes, I arrive home exactly 12 hours later than expected, and I get to spend the entire day in the Atlanta airport. 

Here are a few things I’ve observed during the lat 4 hours …

  • Atlanta airport wireless connectivity sucks…. who do I complain to about this?
  • I just saw a woman whip her kid with a belt… I stopped and stared her down.. She didn’t care… neither did anyone else. If you hit a kid in public, lord only knows what she does at home.  Poor kid.
  • So many young men in their army green camouflage uniforms.  God they are so young.. they can’t possibly know the gravity of their decision to serve…  Do people really trust the president to make life and death decisions for them?
  • It is never attractive to wear clothing that has a name printed on the backside.  Honestly, do you really want Juicy or Pink spread across your ass?  If the answer is yes… Why? 
  • Just ate at Wendy’s for the first time in years.. when did I have a choice of chocolate or vanilla for a frosty?  I thought a frosty was just a frosty….  I can’t ever remember having to make that decision before.
  • Why does the Philipino man next to me keep staring at me? He’s actually put on sunglasses… I still feel him staring even though I can no longer confirm it..
  • How do people wear short shorts and tight skirts on airplanes? Aren’t they afraid of catching something? I would be.
  • Why is everyone so fat here? God I hope it isn’t in the water… I’ve been drinking a lot of water..
  • There are also so many flamboyant gay people here.  Not that there is anything wrong with it.. just surprises me.  I thought all the gays were in CA.. kidding people!!  🙂
  • I have 5 hours before my flight … Hope I make it thru security in time.
  • Why do people have so much luggage? What stuff do they really need?  What is it that they can’t live without?
  • I still think I have a lot of alcohol running thru my veins…  I just took another 800 mg ibuprofen to help with the headache (thanks mom!!).
  • I wish there was a place I could go to take a nap.
  • A girl just walked by with a dress so tight I could see her belly button.. not because the dress is see-thru, but because the dress was stretched so tight across her fat belly I could see, very clearly, that she has an innie. So gross.

I need to put together a page about my roster.  Seems appropriate so we can all keep track of the men I’ve dated this year.

New Developments.

PaulasPonderings2 Comments

So, this entry could be titled “Safe Sex is Grand”,  “The New IUD”, or “Avoiding Pregnancy”, or any number of “this lady is NOT having a baby” headlines…  but I couldn’t think of anything clever, so here we are.

I have talked to many friends about birth control.. married and single friends.  Married friends, for the most part, have had their tubes tied and/or their husbands have been snipped. (the number of men who have chosen NOT to get snipped and forced their wives to have their tubes tied is astonishing).. Honestly, all I can think about is John Edwards.  Stupid man. If you are going to have an affair, its in YOUR best interest to be snipped. 

Anyway, given the words of wisdom  and experiences from many friends, I decided to go with the Mirana IUD.  I had it “implanted” on Monday.  Funny story…  My cervix was not dilated enough, so they had to force it (whatever they did it hurt).. and then they implanted the device.. (and that hurt worse)…  but the funny part is, that being who I am (I’m o.k. ALL the time)… I decided that I was done, got up, and fainted.  Yep, that’s right, fainted.  The doctor did tell me I looked white, and my comment to him was, “ReallY? I’m so white I glow in the dark.  All the time.” (which I really do, even with fake spray tan on)..   I took a small nap, all went well, and I was home safe and sound by noon (appointment was for 8:30am).

A couple of things:

  1. I love nurse practitioners.  My nurse held my hand, talked to me during my “confusion” phase, and helped me off the floor when I fainted (because I was “just fine”)… Love her.
  2. My doctor said that it works immediately – and he wants to know who the lucky guy who gets christens’ the IUD.. hes so adorable (he has known me for years and knows that I don’t have sex that often)..

So, there it is. I’m ready and prepared to have sex without the biggest consequence – having a baby.  I still will require a condom (lord knows what men are carrying these days)…  but at the very least, I am 99% confident that I will not get pregnant and ruin this fabulous life I’ve created for myself.

When I share the roster, you will see, there are a few men in the running for the “christening event”….

🙂