Sausage Pasta.

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So, I have a bunch of new habits… ones that I’ve easy to fallen into and didnt take notice until a friend pointed one out…. 

First, there are things about me that I know, and that my dearest friends know, and that others are quickly learning… you can find all of my special features/functions on the “My List” page.  I have a few other habits/nuances that may join the list, but as of today, the are just too new to put on “the list”…  check back in 2-3 months to see what happens.

So, I have a few favorite dishes that I make all the time… really, all the time.   There are 4 of them, and they include: sausage pasta (there is a summer and winter version, I’m blogging about the summer version), green chili pork stew with beans, pesto pasta with cherry tomatoes and mozzerella cheese balls, and a meal named after my very dear friend, Katie, called Katie’s Pasta, which is orzo pasta with sun dried tomatoes, slivered almonds, and kalamata olives…   All of these meals are to die for AND I make enough for 2-3 nights…..  I have the ingredients for ALL of these meals in my house at all times… and may even have a serving or two in the freezer when needed in desperate times (like returning from a trip and want/need a “home cooked” meal).

I didn’t realize that I was so taken with these dishes UNTIL I listed them all out as options for a dear friend that was over for dinner.  The response was interesting…  “no more sausage pasta” was the statement.   Of all my favorites, this is the one that was NOT going to make the cut.  Wow.. I couldn’t believe it, really? No more sausage pasta?  Granted we’ve had it every week in the last 3 weeks, but I do tweak it a bit every time…  it is a differnt meal every single time… 😉

Funny thing, I am home alone tonight, sans friends, and I made myself some sausage pasta… its really a garden pasta with aspargus, orange peppers, carrots, and a bit of sausage. Today I spiced it up with red chili’s….  and I always throw parmesan cheese on my serving.  It was delicious…. truly delicious.  I can’t believe that someone really doesn’t want to have sausage pasta again….

Anyway, its interesting how quickly new habits are formed… old habits forgotten.  I can’t even remember what I used to make for dinner before…. the new meals, named above, have become the norm, the staples in this household.

I guess the point I’m making is that old habits may die hard, but they do die….   and new habits are formed. And they may not make your friends happy, but as long as you are happy, then its a new, right habit for you.

So, one last funny story….  I went to an online translation engine to translate “long live Sausage Pasta” to Italian (my favorite country, my favorite vacation spot), and this is what I got: “pasta lungamente in tensione della salsiccia”, which directly translates to  “It wishes the paste in tension of the sausage” or “paste long in tension of the sausage”…. 

I think the translations speak for themselves.  Funny.

It’s Final.

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My divorce is final.  I dont have the paperwork as of yet, but I’m told all is “done”.  This is all fine and dandy, but the real interesting news (for me anyway), is that my now ex has moved on, and pretty quickly I might add.  He found someone, has actually packed up his things and MOVED to Miami.. and is having a baby girl in August OF THIS YEAR (for those non-math wizards, that means she was prego in Nov/Dec of 2008.), which interestingly enough, coinside with his official request for a divorce.

I remember thinking how strange it was that the ex had actually taken action to start divorce precedings in November 2008 (which I blogged about: Ever Forward.).  This man could NOT make a decision to do the simplest of things in the last 3 years of our marriage (such as which night, during the week (any day, pick a day) to have dinner with his wife).   BUT, he seemed so proactive to seperate (after the condom incident of course), and was agressive about filing for the divorce.   I didn’t get it then, but now I get it (an a-ha moment about a year later).  

He found someone.  Someone that he knew during our marriage.  This someone was most likely the woman he was sleeping wtih during our marriage (wonder why he chose NOT to use the condom anymore??).  We werent sleeping together, which was a major issue in our marriage – I wanted to, he couldn’t find the time.  Our Counselor so eloquently asked him at almost every sesssion, “if you aren’t fucking your wife, who are you fucking?” .  But, you have to hand it to him – he did find someone that got him off is ass to actually do something – to move across the country AND have a baby with.  Good for him (sort of ….). 

I’m not really happy for him yet… it will come in time.  I do want him to be happy, but I would have preferred that he be honest with me AND himself during our marriage.  At the very least, why in the world would he commit to 8+ months of counseling if he had zero intention of being in and truly engaging in the marriage?  Right now, I am just flabbergasted that he would, literally, choose to do what “looked good” vs. what made him happy. 

By “looked good” I mean that he did what he thought was the right thing by society, his family, colleages, etc, but certainly not by either one of us.   He walked away from our marriage, saying he “tried”, he did “everything”, and I was the one that “wasn’t commited” …  What a load of crap.  I see it so clearly now, and makes me realize how lucky I am that I grew strong and did not settle for less than what I needed.  Shit, we could still be married AND he could be having this baby with a co-worker. God, how awful would that be???

My only lesson learned here is to not hold on to hope so long….   Had I listened to the Ex’s actions (or inaction) we would have seperated years before we  finally did….  but instead, I chose to listen to his words… but I see clearly now, someone will show up when they want to, that their actions will showcase their priorities, passions, and desires.  Words are hollow, meaningless IF they are not backed up with action. I get it now.

This new news threw me for a loop none-the-less.  It’s just like Sally in the movie “When Harry Met Sally” when Sally is upset that her ex-boyfriend is marrying someone else.  Its not that because she wants him, its just that it wasn’t her.  Why not her is Sally’s question, her dilemma.  Its hard to face facts, that no matter how much you love someone, you just aren’t the one, it just isn’t right.. and it won’t ever be right – married or not.  On the mature,  rational side, I’m happy that he has found someone to inspire him…. someone he loves or desires to be with enough to actualy do something/take action, to think beyond himself.  On the emotional side, it’s extremely frustrating that he was just plain lazy, I would even go so far to say cowardly, for not being honest with me or himself, and facing his(our) truth.   Grrrr.

In summary, I am grateful that I figured my shit out, because in the cold, harsh, reality of life, we could still be married, numb, and unhappy.  We would both be having affairs (you can only go so long without sex and intimacy),  he would be wishing I would just leave him alone, and I would be wondering why he doesn’t love me (is it my weight, lifestyle, etc), and what else I could do to get him to see my value, my worth.  I was angry at the end of 2006, he blamed me for our troubles… I waited patiently for him to do  something…  step up, say something, pay attention, get involved….  nothing happened.  I gave up waiting in early 2008 …  given his activity, he gave up years before that…   Its too bad he couldn’t have been honest, me more brave….  It would be nice to have those years back, what I could do with an extra couple of years (ohhh the countries I would visit…)…

The divorce is final and now the real fun begins…

Unexpected Treasures.

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So it is Sunday night…  I’ve had a long weekend.  A good weekend certainly, but a very long one for me (the recluse cat woman).    I was with family from the minute I landed in Utah on Saturday morning, until now, late Sunday evening.   

Today I spent the day in a very remote place in Utah, celebrating the birthday of my 2-year old neice.   It was a great party – 20+ family and friends showed up.  So much fun – and of course,  “Mayonaise”, my grand-niece, wanted to come ‘home’ with “The Best Aunt In The World”, which from now on I will reference as TBAITW.  Abby had to stay home with her mom and a visit with me will be scheduled!!  She is absolutely adorable, one of the smartest kids I know. She hears you say one thing and is able to reference it back.. context and all…   unbelievable.

So, as TBAITW, everyone wants to spend time with me (I AM popular folks… you just have to find the right crowd, my cats know this!!) …   my 9 year old neice had some time and wanted to hang out. She is absolutely adorable, a gorgeous person, so funny and so much fun.    She is just the best ever!  Anyway, she, and her BFF wanted to come stay with me in SLC… of course I said yes!!!  Love it – I’m so cool, two (2) 9-year olds want to stay with me!  Am I THE COOLEST or what??!?!?!?!

Now, I love that they wanted to come stay with me.  However, there are some tasks that comes along with the kids that I’ve long since forgotten: 

  • 100% attention is required.  9 year-olds are self-suffiienct meaning that I dont have to change diapers and they wont starve if I can’t feed them (they can open refridgerators, make cereal, etc.). They can survive for the most part on their own, but they want and need attention 24/7.  Boy, do they love to show all the things they can do/try/etc., example, “TBAITW, did you know that when soda gets up your nose it hurts?”…
  • Couldn’t be without their posse.  Syd couldn’t be without “Mo Mo”(one of her two dogs).  I of course, being TBAITW , “Mo Mo” could come with her.   My sister says, “we treat everyone equally, anything Moo Moo gets, Roxy gets.” (Being a twin, its all about equality, so this is totally fine with me).  What I didn’t know was that “Max”, the little black dog was “Mo Mo”… and that Roxy was the injured dog wearing the cone hat.  Love dogs, but hadn’t thought about what that meant in a downtown city condo.

O.k.. so, I am now in my SLC condo, my gorgeous condo, my home away from home, with 2 9-year olds and 2 dogs….  Never in my wildest dreams did I think this could happen…   So perfect in a crazy, busy way…..  grilled cheese, Cinnamon Life, hot tubbing, movies, stories of a lifetime, questions of all types, etc….  all unexpected, but some of the best moments of my life (what does one say to a 9-year old that asks “what drugs have you done?’)… hmmm…   😉

Here is where the crazy part comes in.  We get out of the hot tub, take our showers, I feed them, they are fed and happy and soon to be talked out (fingers are crossed).  I feel like the coolest ever, taking care of them and the dogs…  I deserve some wine.  I know its Sunday, but I’ve stocked up.  I unlock the owners closet, and find what I love, a few bottles of wine… I want red (it started raining when we were in the hot tub.. went from warm to cold pretty quickly, thereby calling for red wine).  I find a favorite – LIberty School Cab… so consistently good.  My mouth starts to water….   I grab the bottle and head to the kitchen….

Low and behold, there isn’t a corkscrew… its gone missing.  Its not in the dishwasher or any of the drawers or cupboards.  Seriously, how could someone take that and only that out of the condo???   Did a mormon stay here in the last couple of months and ‘disapprove’ of the ‘liquid intake’ a corkscrew would allow?    It’s just mind-boggling to me that anyone would take a corkscrew from the condo. Of all the things to take….   take the 50” TV but not my corkscrew!!  

So, I had to make myself a Carrie (I know, tough life).   I will remedy the situation so it never happens again (I will by two corkscrews: one for the condo and one for the ‘owners closet’). But seriously, it is just unconscionable to me that ANYONE would take someone’s corkscrew.   I just dont get it.

All in all, a very good day.  A lot of space filled with questions, comments, stories, and the like.  Very different from my world, but a welcome change (minus the missing corkscrew).

Fun in SLC
Fun in SLC

My Furry Family.

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So, my family right now consists of myself and my two very adorable cats.  I’ve been a little bit more open about my family lately, to the dismay of my coworkers.

I don’t get out much, by choice.  What I do like to do is stay home and hang out with my little girls, Sophie and Zoey.  What surprises me is  how much I talk to them.  I’ve been doing it for a while now (I’m sure my soon-to-be-ex would say its since day one), but today I got caught on a business call talking to one of the cats.  Heres the situation:  Zoey was scratching at the door, wanting to come in.. and when I opened the door, she just sat there…  not really wanting to come in, just wanting the option available to her (which I totally get).  I think I said something like “get in here baby… come on… tsss tsss”…and she finally saunters in (adorable!!).

So here I am, admitting that I do indeed talk to my cats like they are human, and today I realize that I might be a little over the top with it.  Here are a few things I discussed with the ladies just today:  

  • When they come when called, when they listen to my requests  – “Oh, that’s mommy’s very good girl!”
  • Whenever I see them – “Who loves you? Your mommy loves you!”
  • When one growls (Sophie is a growler) – “Don’t be grumpy, be happy!”
  • When they start fighting – “Hey there, now now… all we have is each other, so stop fighting and start loving!”
  • When they share their hunger pains with me, which without fail begins at 3:59pm – “Hey ladies, I know you are hungry, but give mommy a minute, please?”
  • When I see them out the window, sitting in the street, I open the front door and holler – “Get out of the road, don’t you know cars drive through here?!”
  • When we are in the bathroom – “Quit wasting the toilet paper, you think this stuff grows on trees?!?”

Sound familiar those of you who are parents???  Ummm hmmmm ?!?

So yes, I have become the crazy cat lady. But i’m o.k. with that – they love me, I love them.  Our family is different… but we do have each other, and that’s something. 

Look at them, aren’t they JUST ADORABLE??  🙂

Sophie and Zoey
Sophie and Zoey

Almost Accident.

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I know, its been a while. But hey, silence yourself and be happy I’m writing now.

So, today I was driving home from work.  I have a pretty tough commute to/from work due to traffic, bridges, bad drivers.  I don’t drive into the office very often, so I’m not used to driving the freeway these days, so I’m pretty careful in general.  I also have a new car (helloo Foxy Lady)  so I’m much more careful and pay more attention than I would have in the past. 

As some of you know, I have purchased a new “ride”.  Her name is Blue Belle. She is a goregous blue electra cruiser, 21 gears, and all the bells and whistles that one would want need, such as:  safety lights (so people can see me when I don’t see them), a basket (for my purse, shoes, and road soda), and soon, very soon, a fancy bell that I can ring so that others will get the hell out of my way as I’m coming down the street (I’m still a little unbalanced)…   😉

Ok. so back to the Almost Accident today.  I don’t get on the freeway that often so I was being extra careful.  There has been a lot of construction at my freeway exit so I’ve avoided it for months now.  A friend told me this weekend that it is now open, so tonight, I decided to try it out and take it home.   Big mistake (or was it??).

 The exit has changed substantially. The most important change is that there is now a  stop sign about 100 feet past the freeway exit.  Maybe this is fine at other times, but at rush hour, not so good. The cars were stopped about a 1/2 mile before the exit in the right farmost lane.  I had to slam on my breaks unexpectedly – and thank god Foxy Lady (my goregous silver station wagon) stopped in her tracks.  But as you all know, just because you avoided the accident, doesn’t mean you dont think about the “what if”…

I keep thinking about the Almost Accident,  its been playing back in my head in slow motion.  My heart has finally stopped beating at a rapid, heart attack pace, but my mind will not let it go.  It reminds me, in a very in-your-face kind of way, that anything can happen at anytime, and have I done/am I doing everything I want to?  Because in the end, life is short… and much shorter than I think we all realize.

So what if something had happened? Who would have cared?  Who is listed on my emergency cards now?!??   How would people find out… Is it because I wouldn’t show up at the appropriate time (cocktail hour, running appt, missed flight… ).   How would my family find out – none of my friends have my family contact info…  Its crazy to think about this, but it is what it is.   

Anyway, it just reminds me that life is very short and to appreciate every moment that I have that I’m not “close to death” (but in reality, are we always close to death, its just moments like these that we open our minds to actually realize it?).  AND that I desperately need to update my emergency contacts with people I actually want to see (and that are willing to come see me when I’m all smashed up) as well as my financial account beneficiaries – make sure all my IOU’s go to the right place.. 😉

Yes, I am an organ donor, so if any of you are alerted to my demise, please pass along any organs (I would recommend you NOT pass on my liver…)..

I think thats it.  Almost Accidents give us time to reflect on what didn’t happen (death, destruction, dismemberment and the like), and how lucky we are to be alive.  So get out there and live it and stop stressing about demo’s, sales, dead mice, etc….    Yes, friends, I would like you to send me a link to this post when I tell you how stressed I am.

Secret Sauce.

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So, what is it about people that makes them “click” with other people?  You know, that chance encounter that turns into a lifelong friendship, that glance that turns into a lifetime partner?

I was thinking about this tonight as I missed my friends……  how much I love them, how much I miss them when they are away, how much I want to take care of them, and how much I want the very best for them, even if it takes them away from me. 

My friendships with my dearest friends started based on chance encounters… a meeting thru a mutual friend, thru work, and/or over commonalities discovered thru cocktailing (half joking)…..  Either way, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that there is now a compartment, a piece of my heart, dedicated to “my peeps”, and I would absolutely feel their absence, be heart broken if any one of them were to not exist in my everyday life.

So, I wont think about this anymore.  Just a “private” note to tell all my dear friends out there that I love and adore you, think of you often (even when I dont reach out), and only wish you what I consider the very best – true happiness.

Safe at Home.

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O.k..  So, I’ve been living in a rental property for six months now.   The house did not have a pet door installed, so I’ve been leaving the back door open (despite the fact that I don’t live in the safest of neighborhoods (but who of us really does??)).  This has made me feel uncomfortable and somewhat unsafe.   I did it because it was the best thing for the cats — they dont use a litter box and they do ‘their business’  (among other things) outside.     Even when I’m home, on calls or what not, I have left the back door open.  When I leave the house and I think I’m going to be gone for more than a couple of hours, I have left the door ajar.  It did weigh on me, made me feel uneasy.

But today, no more leaving the back door ajar.  A very dear friend of mine came over with all his tools of the trade, and helped me (well, really he did all the work, I just left him alone  as to not annoy him) install a cat door.  He pulled out a glass panel on the back door, put a cat-door in a piece of plywood, and put the plywood with the cat door in it in space where the glass panel once lived.  OH MY GOD, this is the best thing EVER.  The cats learned to get in/out thru the door almost immediately (not that challenging, they are very smart cats).  I feel SO LIBERATED and SAFE.  It is probably one of the best things that has happened to me in the last 6-8 months.   It is like being in fog/smog for hours/days.. and all of a sudden breathing in fresh air.    It is somewhat of a indescribable feeling, but also one that is intangible.  Like a weight that has been lifted!  

Here is an example:  I went to get my haircut today and have a few drinks with friends. Usually I would leave the door ajar… and hope that another cat didn’t come in or that I was robbed.  Today, I didn’t think once about  it… it did not enter my thoughts at all.  Its amazing that this small things has given my brain room to relax…

So, of course I got home and starting thinking … What is the feeling of being safe?  What is that feeling worth to you?  What is the value of a friend who would selflessly give that to you?  Priceless in my book.  I’m ready to cry at how much safter I feel, and it is a matter of 6 inches… the 6 inches that my back door is NOT open to strangers walking/stalking me.  Priceless. (o.k … for those of you reading, yes, I get what “6 inches” means to you… don’t  contact me… I get it). 

O.k.. I realize I get a little “gushy” at times…     But that feeling of safety is priceless…   The cats have already become acclimated to the opening.. they dont care, as long as they have access (o.k. yes, sounds a lot like a marriage of convenience.. )…  For me, the obligation is worth it — I’m heading to bed in a few minutes and I dont have to go outside in my pajamas and whistle for them to come home… They will come in when they are good and ready and I can go to bed.

Speed Bumps.

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So I have two cats… they are cat-dogs really – cats by body, dogs by nature.  They love attention and human company.   I love them dearly, and couldn’t imagine my life without them… although, at times, it does seem that life would be much easier if I didn’t have to concern myself with having to love, feed, and care for two very demanding (but very tiny) little ladies.

Anyway, the story I share tonight is about one of the ladies, Zoey.  She is the “baby”, the furry one, the one with the sweetest disposition, and really only cares about taking care of and/or receiving care from her mother, Sophie.  She is an amazingly loving cat, the gentlest soul you will ever meet. 

Tonight I did a face plant in my dining room.  Now, its not what you think – its not because I drank to much or there were no lights on.  It is entirely due Zoey.  I had just let the cats into the house, from outside.  They do get excited to be let in.. tonight being no different.  Zoey ran ahead of me and “threw” her body in the path…. the walk-way between the front door and the kitchen.  She was seeking attention of course.. and yes, she got it, and I gave it to her, but not in the way either one of us was expecting. 

In order for me to NOT step on her, I tried to step over her (up-size my regular step)… lost a slipper, twisted my ankle, and now have what can only be described at “carpet burns” on the side of one knee.  Yes, I went down like a Wall Street bank, a crumbling house of cards… but I did survive, and Zoey is un-injured, unharmed, and in perfect condition. 

Of couse, had anyone seen this, they would have committed me.  Once I hit the ground and realized I was o.k… I laughed for a full five minutes.  Hysterial… at least to me.  But of course, Zoey got exactly what she wanted – she dragged herself over to me, stretched out, and meowed.. she was completely irresible I had to reach over and pet her.  Of course, I realize now, that all I have done is reinforce this behavior, which means, that I can expect a few more “trips”.

But it got me to thinking about “speed bumps”.  Speed bumps are fairly common.  They are typically used to slow things down, to reduce velocity.  I couldn’t help but think about life as I was laying on the ground, injured.   What typically happens when life throws a small (or large) speed bump in our path?  The “speed bump” could be anything, it could be something as simple as a friend who is tardy for a dinner date, a car breakdown , a job loss, or god-forbid, an illness.  Whatever.  What is important, or what defines us in general, is how we respond to the speedbump.  Do we get angry, feel despair, lash out, do nothing?

Sometimes it takes a major tragedy or setback  to stop us in our tracks (like a divorce, financial devastation, etc) .  But its these smaller, everyday bumps that serve up important  life lessons.  Question is, are we able to recognize them and use them as opportunities to improve ourselves and the lives of others?   Wouldn’t it be nice if people could see these speed bumps for what they are – an opportunity to slow down and relax?  To experience these “bumps” as adventures, an unavoidable part of life, a chance to gently apply the brakes, taking a deep breath, and enjoying (tolerate) the ride (and others)?  To make a difference in our lives (thru the response) and others (by being kinder, gentler, more patient, etc)?

So where am I?  Feeling very lucky.  Yes, a tiny bit injured, but safe none-the-less.  I smile at the fact that I have such love in my life, that my little lady is willing to throw her body in harms way just to get a few minutes with me. Now that feels good!!

Kenny Rodgers – Lady.

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Driving home tonight I listened to/sang along with Kenny Rogers –  Lady. This is one of the best songs ever.  Ever.  Reminds me of what “it” is all about.  Yes, the song is cheesy, but really, its about adoring someone, loving someone, feeling so deeply for someone that you dont ask/need anything in return. Its all about sharing how YOU feel about someone else.  How someone else has changed your life (in a good way) that you couldn’t imagine life without them, because “it”, life, wouldn’t be nearly as interesting, fun, loving, adventurous….

If you think this post is rediculous and you want your time back, too bad!!   Another KR song you have to read the lyrics to:  “I Can’t Unlove You“…  breaks my heart.  Makes me realize how fragile we are, as humans, when it comes to matters of the heart.  Kenny  he’s so dreamy, although I do love the “old Kenny look”.. scruffy, furry face, feathers in his hair…. than man is just a class act. 

O.k., one last KR favorite.  Its a duet he does with Dolly Parton, oh yes it is, its Islands in the Stream.  I know every word and sang this song with my twin over a thousand times.  It is such a catchy tune, gets me moving… and grooving… . and really sings about the magic two people can share….  how you can really bond, create a connection, and have a fabulous time doing it!!

I love you Kenny!!!!

Taxpayers get Nothing.

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So, I went out to dinner and drinks with a co-worker…..   On my drive home I listened to NPR, National Public Radio.  The story of the hour was about releasing prisoners from our “overcrowded” California prison system.  You can find it here:  http://www.kqed.org/epArchive/R902110900

I have to say, I’m totally appauled, pissed, steamed, and completely frustrated with our society, and specifically with California, that we care more about the prisoners than the contributing members of society, the victims of people who have been hurt/maimed/damanged by the prisoners, and the people who are ULTIMATELY responsible for footing the bill for these clowns.    Soooo… these people, in prison, are dangerous..  But appparently, this doesn’t matter, because in a financial crisis, it seems that you can actually get a “get out of jail free” card.  I did not know this. Had I known this, I would not have behaved and lived as conservatively has I have; as a  contributing member of society.  If I could have smoked pot, drank to my hearts content, and lived off others paychecks, I certainly would have. 

Seriously, who are the smart ones here …. the ones trying to make a living and abide by the rules/regulations of the land, or those, living it up at the taxpayers expense?   Apparently I picked the wrong option.  I wished I had NOT  “tried” to get a new job  (when I lost mine last year),  wish I was still “working” at walking my ass down to the unemployment office and picking up a paycheck…. nodding my head and saying thanks to all the clowns rushing to and fro work.   Lord knows I would have had a fabulous time doing the irresponsible thing… maybe worked on my tan or finding just the right placement for that new tatoo I’ve been thinking about.  

My cynicym right now comes from Obamas “spend” plan…..  I really dont think we can spend ourselves out of this mess (isn’t overspending what got us to htis point? I’m I the only one that sees this?!?)  ….  Why do we have so  many people who cant budget, who feel entitled to something they didn’t earn?  What has caused our society to have so many people on US dole, who dont contribute to the system but feel that the system owes them something??? 

Think about the woman who just had 8 kids (“owns” 6 more), thanks to invitro.. did we mention that she doeesn’t have a job and lives on welfare??  Oh yeah, when was I given the choice to steralize her??  Oh no, I wasn’t, but now as a taxpayer in CA, I “get” to support her and her kids…. . oh sure, its in my best interest.  You think??  YOu really thinks its in the best interest for everyone else to foot the bill for this idiot and her litter?…. Well, I DO NOT think so.  This woman should get nothing, her kids should be taken away and given to people who CAN take care of them.  Period.  We should not reward this woman and all the other women/men out there that do this kind of thing!  What I can tell you is that instead of supporting her lame ass, I’d like to keep my money that is automatically deducted out of every paycheck and go to Europe.  Thats in my best interest…travel.. keeps me calm, makes me happy…   What IS NOT  in my best interest is supporting someone elses kids (clothing them, feeding them, medicating them, etc)…  Gees.

Ok., back to NPR.  After the discussions I heard on NPR, seems that people out there think we should be taking care of the early release prisoner, finding them a place to live, giving them a chance to acclimate.  Did anyone ask their victims if they wanted to be a victim of a senslesss, unplanned crime? Probably not.  So why not an eye for an eye?  Arm for an arm…. tooth for a tooth? F*%$ them… I could not care less about how much the criminals are “trying”..shoulda thought of that before hurting someone else senslessly.

This Paula is sooooooooooooooooooooo sick of hearing about perpatrators rights, when it seems like the person, the victim, should have/feel positive about the treatment/justice they receive.   I want to hurl myself against the stupid wall and hope that it takes me in…. because obviously.. stupid is the norm these days and I need to conform….

 O.k. so I’m all worked up about this…. but I just saw a picture of Renee Zellweger and I just realized that the Chuckie doll is better looking (and less scary) than she is.  Boy that lady is bugly (butt ugly)…