Friends & Family

Anything and everything that has to do with my family.. immediate family (furry felines), my Utah Family, and my Friends who are like family.

Sausage Pasta.

PaulasPonderings1 Comment

So, I have a bunch of new habits… ones that I’ve easy to fallen into and didnt take notice until a friend pointed one out…. 

First, there are things about me that I know, and that my dearest friends know, and that others are quickly learning… you can find all of my special features/functions on the “My List” page.  I have a few other habits/nuances that may join the list, but as of today, the are just too new to put on “the list”…  check back in 2-3 months to see what happens.

So, I have a few favorite dishes that I make all the time… really, all the time.   There are 4 of them, and they include: sausage pasta (there is a summer and winter version, I’m blogging about the summer version), green chili pork stew with beans, pesto pasta with cherry tomatoes and mozzerella cheese balls, and a meal named after my very dear friend, Katie, called Katie’s Pasta, which is orzo pasta with sun dried tomatoes, slivered almonds, and kalamata olives…   All of these meals are to die for AND I make enough for 2-3 nights…..  I have the ingredients for ALL of these meals in my house at all times… and may even have a serving or two in the freezer when needed in desperate times (like returning from a trip and want/need a “home cooked” meal).

I didn’t realize that I was so taken with these dishes UNTIL I listed them all out as options for a dear friend that was over for dinner.  The response was interesting…  “no more sausage pasta” was the statement.   Of all my favorites, this is the one that was NOT going to make the cut.  Wow.. I couldn’t believe it, really? No more sausage pasta?  Granted we’ve had it every week in the last 3 weeks, but I do tweak it a bit every time…  it is a differnt meal every single time… 😉

Funny thing, I am home alone tonight, sans friends, and I made myself some sausage pasta… its really a garden pasta with aspargus, orange peppers, carrots, and a bit of sausage. Today I spiced it up with red chili’s….  and I always throw parmesan cheese on my serving.  It was delicious…. truly delicious.  I can’t believe that someone really doesn’t want to have sausage pasta again….

Anyway, its interesting how quickly new habits are formed… old habits forgotten.  I can’t even remember what I used to make for dinner before…. the new meals, named above, have become the norm, the staples in this household.

I guess the point I’m making is that old habits may die hard, but they do die….   and new habits are formed. And they may not make your friends happy, but as long as you are happy, then its a new, right habit for you.

So, one last funny story….  I went to an online translation engine to translate “long live Sausage Pasta” to Italian (my favorite country, my favorite vacation spot), and this is what I got: “pasta lungamente in tensione della salsiccia”, which directly translates to  “It wishes the paste in tension of the sausage” or “paste long in tension of the sausage”…. 

I think the translations speak for themselves.  Funny.

Unexpected Treasures.

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So it is Sunday night…  I’ve had a long weekend.  A good weekend certainly, but a very long one for me (the recluse cat woman).    I was with family from the minute I landed in Utah on Saturday morning, until now, late Sunday evening.   

Today I spent the day in a very remote place in Utah, celebrating the birthday of my 2-year old neice.   It was a great party – 20+ family and friends showed up.  So much fun – and of course,  “Mayonaise”, my grand-niece, wanted to come ‘home’ with “The Best Aunt In The World”, which from now on I will reference as TBAITW.  Abby had to stay home with her mom and a visit with me will be scheduled!!  She is absolutely adorable, one of the smartest kids I know. She hears you say one thing and is able to reference it back.. context and all…   unbelievable.

So, as TBAITW, everyone wants to spend time with me (I AM popular folks… you just have to find the right crowd, my cats know this!!) …   my 9 year old neice had some time and wanted to hang out. She is absolutely adorable, a gorgeous person, so funny and so much fun.    She is just the best ever!  Anyway, she, and her BFF wanted to come stay with me in SLC… of course I said yes!!!  Love it – I’m so cool, two (2) 9-year olds want to stay with me!  Am I THE COOLEST or what??!?!?!?!

Now, I love that they wanted to come stay with me.  However, there are some tasks that comes along with the kids that I’ve long since forgotten: 

  • 100% attention is required.  9 year-olds are self-suffiienct meaning that I dont have to change diapers and they wont starve if I can’t feed them (they can open refridgerators, make cereal, etc.). They can survive for the most part on their own, but they want and need attention 24/7.  Boy, do they love to show all the things they can do/try/etc., example, “TBAITW, did you know that when soda gets up your nose it hurts?”…
  • Couldn’t be without their posse.  Syd couldn’t be without “Mo Mo”(one of her two dogs).  I of course, being TBAITW , “Mo Mo” could come with her.   My sister says, “we treat everyone equally, anything Moo Moo gets, Roxy gets.” (Being a twin, its all about equality, so this is totally fine with me).  What I didn’t know was that “Max”, the little black dog was “Mo Mo”… and that Roxy was the injured dog wearing the cone hat.  Love dogs, but hadn’t thought about what that meant in a downtown city condo.

O.k.. so, I am now in my SLC condo, my gorgeous condo, my home away from home, with 2 9-year olds and 2 dogs….  Never in my wildest dreams did I think this could happen…   So perfect in a crazy, busy way…..  grilled cheese, Cinnamon Life, hot tubbing, movies, stories of a lifetime, questions of all types, etc….  all unexpected, but some of the best moments of my life (what does one say to a 9-year old that asks “what drugs have you done?’)… hmmm…   😉

Here is where the crazy part comes in.  We get out of the hot tub, take our showers, I feed them, they are fed and happy and soon to be talked out (fingers are crossed).  I feel like the coolest ever, taking care of them and the dogs…  I deserve some wine.  I know its Sunday, but I’ve stocked up.  I unlock the owners closet, and find what I love, a few bottles of wine… I want red (it started raining when we were in the hot tub.. went from warm to cold pretty quickly, thereby calling for red wine).  I find a favorite – LIberty School Cab… so consistently good.  My mouth starts to water….   I grab the bottle and head to the kitchen….

Low and behold, there isn’t a corkscrew… its gone missing.  Its not in the dishwasher or any of the drawers or cupboards.  Seriously, how could someone take that and only that out of the condo???   Did a mormon stay here in the last couple of months and ‘disapprove’ of the ‘liquid intake’ a corkscrew would allow?    It’s just mind-boggling to me that anyone would take a corkscrew from the condo. Of all the things to take….   take the 50” TV but not my corkscrew!!  

So, I had to make myself a Carrie (I know, tough life).   I will remedy the situation so it never happens again (I will by two corkscrews: one for the condo and one for the ‘owners closet’). But seriously, it is just unconscionable to me that ANYONE would take someone’s corkscrew.   I just dont get it.

All in all, a very good day.  A lot of space filled with questions, comments, stories, and the like.  Very different from my world, but a welcome change (minus the missing corkscrew).

Fun in SLC
Fun in SLC

My Furry Family.

PaulasPonderings2 Comments

So, my family right now consists of myself and my two very adorable cats.  I’ve been a little bit more open about my family lately, to the dismay of my coworkers.

I don’t get out much, by choice.  What I do like to do is stay home and hang out with my little girls, Sophie and Zoey.  What surprises me is  how much I talk to them.  I’ve been doing it for a while now (I’m sure my soon-to-be-ex would say its since day one), but today I got caught on a business call talking to one of the cats.  Heres the situation:  Zoey was scratching at the door, wanting to come in.. and when I opened the door, she just sat there…  not really wanting to come in, just wanting the option available to her (which I totally get).  I think I said something like “get in here baby… come on… tsss tsss”…and she finally saunters in (adorable!!).

So here I am, admitting that I do indeed talk to my cats like they are human, and today I realize that I might be a little over the top with it.  Here are a few things I discussed with the ladies just today:  

  • When they come when called, when they listen to my requests  – “Oh, that’s mommy’s very good girl!”
  • Whenever I see them – “Who loves you? Your mommy loves you!”
  • When one growls (Sophie is a growler) – “Don’t be grumpy, be happy!”
  • When they start fighting – “Hey there, now now… all we have is each other, so stop fighting and start loving!”
  • When they share their hunger pains with me, which without fail begins at 3:59pm – “Hey ladies, I know you are hungry, but give mommy a minute, please?”
  • When I see them out the window, sitting in the street, I open the front door and holler – “Get out of the road, don’t you know cars drive through here?!”
  • When we are in the bathroom – “Quit wasting the toilet paper, you think this stuff grows on trees?!?”

Sound familiar those of you who are parents???  Ummm hmmmm ?!?

So yes, I have become the crazy cat lady. But i’m o.k. with that – they love me, I love them.  Our family is different… but we do have each other, and that’s something. 

Look at them, aren’t they JUST ADORABLE??  🙂

Sophie and Zoey
Sophie and Zoey

Secret Sauce.

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So, what is it about people that makes them “click” with other people?  You know, that chance encounter that turns into a lifelong friendship, that glance that turns into a lifetime partner?

I was thinking about this tonight as I missed my friends……  how much I love them, how much I miss them when they are away, how much I want to take care of them, and how much I want the very best for them, even if it takes them away from me. 

My friendships with my dearest friends started based on chance encounters… a meeting thru a mutual friend, thru work, and/or over commonalities discovered thru cocktailing (half joking)…..  Either way, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that there is now a compartment, a piece of my heart, dedicated to “my peeps”, and I would absolutely feel their absence, be heart broken if any one of them were to not exist in my everyday life.

So, I wont think about this anymore.  Just a “private” note to tell all my dear friends out there that I love and adore you, think of you often (even when I dont reach out), and only wish you what I consider the very best – true happiness.

Safe at Home.

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O.k..  So, I’ve been living in a rental property for six months now.   The house did not have a pet door installed, so I’ve been leaving the back door open (despite the fact that I don’t live in the safest of neighborhoods (but who of us really does??)).  This has made me feel uncomfortable and somewhat unsafe.   I did it because it was the best thing for the cats — they dont use a litter box and they do ‘their business’  (among other things) outside.     Even when I’m home, on calls or what not, I have left the back door open.  When I leave the house and I think I’m going to be gone for more than a couple of hours, I have left the door ajar.  It did weigh on me, made me feel uneasy.

But today, no more leaving the back door ajar.  A very dear friend of mine came over with all his tools of the trade, and helped me (well, really he did all the work, I just left him alone  as to not annoy him) install a cat door.  He pulled out a glass panel on the back door, put a cat-door in a piece of plywood, and put the plywood with the cat door in it in space where the glass panel once lived.  OH MY GOD, this is the best thing EVER.  The cats learned to get in/out thru the door almost immediately (not that challenging, they are very smart cats).  I feel SO LIBERATED and SAFE.  It is probably one of the best things that has happened to me in the last 6-8 months.   It is like being in fog/smog for hours/days.. and all of a sudden breathing in fresh air.    It is somewhat of a indescribable feeling, but also one that is intangible.  Like a weight that has been lifted!  

Here is an example:  I went to get my haircut today and have a few drinks with friends. Usually I would leave the door ajar… and hope that another cat didn’t come in or that I was robbed.  Today, I didn’t think once about  it… it did not enter my thoughts at all.  Its amazing that this small things has given my brain room to relax…

So, of course I got home and starting thinking … What is the feeling of being safe?  What is that feeling worth to you?  What is the value of a friend who would selflessly give that to you?  Priceless in my book.  I’m ready to cry at how much safter I feel, and it is a matter of 6 inches… the 6 inches that my back door is NOT open to strangers walking/stalking me.  Priceless. (o.k … for those of you reading, yes, I get what “6 inches” means to you… don’t  contact me… I get it). 

O.k.. I realize I get a little “gushy” at times…     But that feeling of safety is priceless…   The cats have already become acclimated to the opening.. they dont care, as long as they have access (o.k. yes, sounds a lot like a marriage of convenience.. )…  For me, the obligation is worth it — I’m heading to bed in a few minutes and I dont have to go outside in my pajamas and whistle for them to come home… They will come in when they are good and ready and I can go to bed.

Speed Bumps.

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So I have two cats… they are cat-dogs really – cats by body, dogs by nature.  They love attention and human company.   I love them dearly, and couldn’t imagine my life without them… although, at times, it does seem that life would be much easier if I didn’t have to concern myself with having to love, feed, and care for two very demanding (but very tiny) little ladies.

Anyway, the story I share tonight is about one of the ladies, Zoey.  She is the “baby”, the furry one, the one with the sweetest disposition, and really only cares about taking care of and/or receiving care from her mother, Sophie.  She is an amazingly loving cat, the gentlest soul you will ever meet. 

Tonight I did a face plant in my dining room.  Now, its not what you think – its not because I drank to much or there were no lights on.  It is entirely due Zoey.  I had just let the cats into the house, from outside.  They do get excited to be let in.. tonight being no different.  Zoey ran ahead of me and “threw” her body in the path…. the walk-way between the front door and the kitchen.  She was seeking attention of course.. and yes, she got it, and I gave it to her, but not in the way either one of us was expecting. 

In order for me to NOT step on her, I tried to step over her (up-size my regular step)… lost a slipper, twisted my ankle, and now have what can only be described at “carpet burns” on the side of one knee.  Yes, I went down like a Wall Street bank, a crumbling house of cards… but I did survive, and Zoey is un-injured, unharmed, and in perfect condition. 

Of couse, had anyone seen this, they would have committed me.  Once I hit the ground and realized I was o.k… I laughed for a full five minutes.  Hysterial… at least to me.  But of course, Zoey got exactly what she wanted – she dragged herself over to me, stretched out, and meowed.. she was completely irresible I had to reach over and pet her.  Of course, I realize now, that all I have done is reinforce this behavior, which means, that I can expect a few more “trips”.

But it got me to thinking about “speed bumps”.  Speed bumps are fairly common.  They are typically used to slow things down, to reduce velocity.  I couldn’t help but think about life as I was laying on the ground, injured.   What typically happens when life throws a small (or large) speed bump in our path?  The “speed bump” could be anything, it could be something as simple as a friend who is tardy for a dinner date, a car breakdown , a job loss, or god-forbid, an illness.  Whatever.  What is important, or what defines us in general, is how we respond to the speedbump.  Do we get angry, feel despair, lash out, do nothing?

Sometimes it takes a major tragedy or setback  to stop us in our tracks (like a divorce, financial devastation, etc) .  But its these smaller, everyday bumps that serve up important  life lessons.  Question is, are we able to recognize them and use them as opportunities to improve ourselves and the lives of others?   Wouldn’t it be nice if people could see these speed bumps for what they are – an opportunity to slow down and relax?  To experience these “bumps” as adventures, an unavoidable part of life, a chance to gently apply the brakes, taking a deep breath, and enjoying (tolerate) the ride (and others)?  To make a difference in our lives (thru the response) and others (by being kinder, gentler, more patient, etc)?

So where am I?  Feeling very lucky.  Yes, a tiny bit injured, but safe none-the-less.  I smile at the fact that I have such love in my life, that my little lady is willing to throw her body in harms way just to get a few minutes with me. Now that feels good!!

Christmas, Parents, and Porn.

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I have a lot to share, and as from the title, theres a little bit for everyone. Get comfortable, its a long story.

 Soo, this year my parents decided to come to CA and spend the holidays with me.   This is the first time in the 13 years I’ve lived in CA that my parents have spent the holidays outside of Utah.  It makes sense – all my other family members have kids…grandkids for them to spoil… in CA, its just me and the cats.   I wanted the trip to be perfect.  That things go smoothly and that they were sufficientlyentertained —  and as one would expect,  things just didn’t go as planned.  Nothing terrible… just not right.

  • The Furnace.  So, as one would expect, the unexpected happened. The furnace stopped working.  It started making a weird sound the night I picked my parents up… I had my dad listen to it… then look at it the following morning.  The motor had “arched”… in laymans terms, this means it stopped working….  As the winds blew and the hail attached the house, we sat, at home, freezing our patooties off.  My parents really wanted to escape the cold of the UT winter storms…. little did they know, they would be bundled up with blankets in a small house in the burbs on a very cold holiday weekend.
  • The Oven.  I now rent a home…and this old home is in original condition, including the ancient stove/oven.  A stove/oven that has been neglected…  When I moved in, I noticed a very strong gas smell. Almost 2 months later, the land-lady took care of it….. all pilot lights have been lit and broken pipes have been repaired. As happy as I am that I did not blow myself up, I was a bit perturbed that I didn’t have enough time to practice cooking with the oven before my holiday entertaining.  Well, the first meal I cooked in the oven was Christmas dinner – a beautiful, organic, AND free-range turkey.  However, I served it in a somewhat raw form BECAUSE the oven temperature is off (I’m guessing about 100 degrees)… And of course, thinking I could make up for it, I turned the tempurature up and burnt the pumpkin pie (over compensation for the turkey)… My mom is taking a picture with me and the stove/oven tomorrow – she still cant believe a ‘modern woman’ could “cook”(if you can call it that) with such an old stove/oven.  I’m just glad they are heading home without a bought of food poisoning.
  • A Movie.  My recommendation to anyone out there that is over the age of 30, DO NOT WATCH Forgetting Sarah Marshall with your parents.  I loved the moved when I watched it the first time – thought it was hysterical, so I specifically ordered it (thank you NetFlix!) so my parents could see it. They like comedies, I though they would get a kick out of it.  HOwever, what I failed to realize the first time I watched the movie is how it is filled with a lot sexual content.  About 15 minutes into the movie, all of us snuggled under blankets (furnace is broken), my mom says, “I feel like I’m watching porn”.  Not a complaint, just a statement.   We continued to watch the movie, and I saw it thru new lenses… and yep,  indeed there is a lot of sex in the movie. Towards the end, during some specific sex scenes, I could not believe I was watching it with my parents (mostly my dad!!!!).. jees.  I wont do that again.

 

But seriously, even with all of this, the visit was a lot of fun. I learned so much about my parents as well as myself, and we’ve grown closer.  We even broached the subject of death and living wills (which I love to talk about… most other people not so much)..

 
I took my parents to the airport yesterday, I was sad to see them go.  We had such a good time getting to know each other, with all the unconditional love a parent has for a child and a child has for a parent, but now, also with the full knowledge appreciation that we are all adults, doing the best we can to get thru life.  And as different as we are, we can all get past the small, unexpected disasters and just have fun together.  I’m actually looking forward to another holiday with them. I think next time my mom will want to do the cooking… 🙂

Pleasant Surprises.

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So, life is full of surprises. A very good surprise happened to me this evening – I got a call from an old friend.  It is simple: someone I really really like, thought about me and took action to give me a call… Not only did it put the biggest smile on my face, my mood lightened, my heart sang (oh yes it did!!). 

I’ve been thinking too much lately, been in a funk if you will (the woe is me type of feeling). Usually when I’m in this kind of mood,  I pacify myself by telling myself (over and over and over again) how lucky I am to: be alive, not be living in Afghanistan, have all my limbs, have an education, money in the bank, etc.. There is a lot to be grateful for is the point, I get it.

But tonight, like I said, I got a surprise call from a friend, a friend that I absolutely adore. Someone who is too modest and tells me all the reasons I shoudn’t adore them, which, of course, makes me adore them all the more. There are very few people in this world that I would drop everything for and/or do anything for…. (after all, I am Paula and IT IS ALL ABOUT ME), this is one of those friends. 

This surprise call happened over an hour ago, and I still cant stop smiling..  which brings me to the topic of this entry: Pleansant Surprises.  Isn’t this what life is really about?

Life goes on, its a matter of fact, it just does (unless, of course, you are dead). You are either living or dead.  But what makes life worth living?  Yes, I know, people will say (you might even say) money, a great house, kids… all trappings of what “life” is supposed to be about, what has been defined as “a successful life”.    But, I do think, after you lose everything you think you wanted you realize that life is made up of experiences… moments in time, which can be good and bad (although I think we all prefer the good)… and when good things happen, even if it is as simple as a phone call from a friend, this is the treasure of life.

I’m not sure what happened to me (although I’m sure my family and friends do!), but its no longer about things.  I am perging things like there is no tomorrow… somewhere in this seperation/divorce mess, I’ve learned to detach myself from the “things” in my life and become not attached, but so appreciative of the small things that bring meaning to my life.

I love my friends, and I love that they not only think of me, but that they take the time to reach out to me… it means a lot.

So, if you have a friend that you think about often but have not talked to in a while, take the time this holiday season to reach out to them.  It means a lot, for the both of you. Could be a renewed connection, an estranged family member,  or someone that had a great impact/influence in your life.  Just do it – take the first step, be the bigger person, and make it happen – reach out and connect with your fellow human being.  And maybe, just maybe, your friend is reading this blog entry, and they give you a call!  If they do, embrace them, cherish their effort, and enjoy the fact that someone out there is thinking about you.

Alright, yes, I will stop drinking the red nectar of the gods and go to bed.  I hope my point has been made and you all get off your duffs and DO SOMETHING.

🙂