Toxic Relationship

They Steal What You Love — Part 1

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

Because all they want to do is hurt you

Narcissists have a grandiose sense of entitlement — They think the world owes them and they will steal, lie, cheat to get what they feel should be theirs. True to his character, Trash is a thief.

So what has been stolen? Basically everything of worth. Trash left some of his used furniture for me to dispose of (story for another time), and took all the items of value, which of course where mine.

In November 2022 I filed Police report 22–126649 with the Chandler AZ police. Total value of all the items that Trash stole from me is $ 12,690. A class 3 felony here in Arizona could land him in prison for 3.5–7 years.

This story will just be about the artwork ,which totals about $6300. This is artwork that I purchased while living in Salt Lake City, Utah. I moved it to Chandler on Aug. 17th 2022 and hung it up over the weekend of August 20th with my best friend Katie. The other stolen items will be new stories (its a series peeps!).

Trash took my things not because he liked it; the opposite, he didn’t like it. He made of fun of it. But he knew that I love it, that it took me a long time to curate the collection. And that is why he stole it — because I loved it.

Here is just some of the items, displayed beautifully at my home in Salt Lake City, UT. You can see all of the items he stole here.

Pictures of some of the Stolen Items

Trash told the police that he made the purchases while we were in business together. Which of course is not true.  As of now the Police will not do anything — it has to be resolved in Civil Court (story for another day).

I know where some of the artwork is — it is at his new girlfriend, Laura’s house. As I am not 100% sure as I do not have video evidence, but would wager that the other items such as patio furniture, outdoor umbrellas and cafe lights, the locks, the wifi enabled landscape timer, etc. are all there as well. What a sweet fella to give his new girlfriend stolen items.

How do I know? Because Trash thinks he is above the law and posted pictures of it on Facebook. You bet I submitted the information the police. What did he do? Posted a joke Facebook Story about art… You can watch it here.

I have named Laura in the supplemental reports as a person in possession of stolen goods.

The prosecutor must prove that you controlled another person’s property after knowing or having reason to know that the property was stolen. Technically, you don’t need to buy the stolen property, it is enough to merely accept it.

Below is the proof I submitted to the Chandler Police.

Set of Two Prints — Neutral Modern Art

Trash has been posting Facebook Stories and the stolen artwork is clearly hanging up at Laura’s house.

First supplemental report filed with the Chandler AZ Police: 22–141867. The evidence came from a Facebook Story Trash posted on Facebook. Full video here.

Artwork at my SLC UT home vs. at Laura’s house:

And the receipt for the art, I purchased, in October of 2021 —

Wait, there is more.

One of a Kind — Paris Street Scene

I purchased this in 2010 while visiting a friend in Paris. It’s one-of-a-kind / irreplaceable. He was dumb enough to post another video with more of my artwork hanging up at the new girlfriend’s house.

Second supplemental report filed with the Chandler AZ Police: 22–151118. The evidence came from a Facebook Story Trash posted. I do not have the full video.

Artwork at my SLC UT home vs. my artwork at Laura’s house:

So, what have I learned from this experience?

  • That a narcissist believes that what is yours is theirs;  your stuff now equals their stuff and their stuff still equals their stuff . Such a huge sense of entitlement. I mean he didn’t just steal from me, he stole from the previous ex Lola (I met the ex girlfriend — she is NOT crazy; she is absolutely lovely ) and he stole from the ex prior to Lola. Spiritualwhistleblower on TikTok speaks the truth here.
  • That the police are pretty much useless in these situations. I can prove that we were not in business together, that these items were purchased by me with my credit card, some of them before I met Trash. They don’t care.
  • The court system is set up for criminals to crime. I’m convinced the hoops a victim/survivor is required to jump through is means to discourage them to push forward and fight for what they deserve — Justice.

I have filed a Civil Suit — for fraud/deception (for lying about the funds for the condo) , theft (my art (this article) and other stuff), as well as damage done to the Chandler house (more on this later). I will not give up until what is mine is returned to me.

How did I get mixed up with such a conman?

PaulasPonderingsLeave a comment

Answers to the questions friends & family are asking me.

I am a nice person. It’s my nature to see the good in all people. I trust people and take them at their word. I assume people are like me — honest, kind, compassionate, empathetic, etc..

When someone tells me they are at work, I believe them. I believe it because that is what I am doing. When someone tells me they are “just a friend”, I believe them. Because I mean it when I say it — I tell the truth, I don’t hide things. And when in a committed relationship, I am as transparent as possible.

I thought Trash was like me — kind, sincere, in love with me, and wanted the same things in a long-term committed relationship. Obviously I would NOT have turned my world upside down if I didn’t believe this. I was invested and I showed it through my actions:

  • All the time and money to fly back and forth between Salt Lake City Utah and Rocky Point Mexico for the first 6 months
  • The purchase of a house in Chandler to be closer to him
  • Moving to Rocky Point Mexico in December to live with him
  • Help him raise his 13 year old wayward son for 6 months
  • and finally, the selling of my home in Salt Lake City Utah so we could be together forever

The demise of the relationship and the way it ended sits entirely on Trash’s shoulders (story to come). He found me, a good girl, mirrored me to get what he wanted. Based on all the research I’ve done, it’s his MO — His behavior with me is consistent with his past 3 girlfriends AND his ex-wife (story to come).

The truth is, the person he presented to me is not who he is. He is a conman and a narcissist. He played a long con-game and I simply did not see it. I never new narcissists existed, so I was blindsided when it ended.

At first I was ashamed, embarrassed that I was so gullible, that I didn’t suspect a thing until August 24th. A good friend of mine said “Don’t make it your problem. He is at fault.”

This made me feel a lot better about the situation, and has given me the strength to share my story in hopes that others become aware that there are monsters on this planet and you need to be very careful.

I have spent the last 4 months now (to the day), researching and learning all about Narcissism and how this could have happened to me. This Medium article by Myla Morningstar The Covert Narcissist’s Wish List: 10 Traits of the Ideal Victim does a great job explaining how I was a perfect target.

So here is what I have learned / come to grips with over these last 4 months:

  • The person Trash presented to me never existed; he was mirroring me to get what he wanted.
  • That what I thought we shared was not real (real to me, not to him).
  • He lied to me about everything; he never blocked his ex, Lola (they remained friends and even slept together while we were in a committed relationship).
  • That he used my trust in him to have multiple affairs and hookups; we were never in a committed relationship in his mind.

All I did was love someone, truly, deeply, and trusted that what he told me was true. This does not make me a bad person nor is it something to be ashamed of. And I will not change who I am because of this experience. I will continue to be loving, trusting, empathic and compassionate. But what I will do, moving forward, is:

Knowing what I know now has given me the closure I need to move on from this brutal life lesson. Outside of a few more stories that need to be shared, I will focus on my future, move past this, and start living my life again.

Thank you all for reading and please share this with any friends or family that you think may be involved with a narcissist. I wished someone had let me know sooner, because finding out on my own has been a very painful experience.