Narcissist

How I Became the Ex (Narcissist Discard)

PaulasPonderings2 Comments

This is where the nightmare begins..

I met a man we will call Trash while on vacation in Puerto Penasco/Rocky Point Mexico in April of 2021. We hit it off. We started seeing each other long distance — two weeks on, two weeks off. Every two weeks we would see each other either in my home in Salt Lake City (SLC) Utah, or at his condo in Puerto Penasco. We did this from May to December 2021.

In August/September timeframe, things were going so well, we talked about selling one of my rental properties and purchasing a property closer to Mexico (reduce travel)…  So in September, I sold my Duplex and purchased a nice home in Chandler Arizona via a 1031 Exchange. I would use it mostly as an airBnB, but planned to also use it personally — to be closer to Trash and Mexico, reduce some of the travel time.

After this purchase, Trash asked me to move in with him in Mexico. I had a job where this was possible (remote work is the best!)… and I was thrilled things were going so well between us.

So in November, I started the process of turning my beloved SLC house into a short-term rental (STR). I chose to go with Evolve.com as my marketing and scheduling service and hired a property manager.

In December 2021, I packed up my RV and drove down to Puerto Penasco with my two cats Sophie and Zoey. We arrived on Dec. 23rd 2021, the day before Trash’s birthday.

We lived together in his house in Mexico… when we needed to go to the United States, we would stay at the Chandler house. Usually only a few days in-between rentals. It was a nice life. The only challenge at the time is that his 13 year old teen son was living with us.. It was a tough time for Trash and his son…. but because I had been through a similar situation with my niece, I felt that I was the perfect person for him, I understood the challenges and could be there for him.

His son left May 25th 2022.  A few days later, we went to “our” restaurant and had our 90 day review (more on this later)…  We agreed that things had been tough (having his son living with us was VERY challenging – he ran away, in MX, 4 times!!)..  Even with the challenges, we decided we wanted to continue forward and be together.  WE decided that we would not be spending time in SLC for the summer as we had originally anticipated.  So together, WE made the decision to sell my SLC house.  It took about a week to get it listed, and within 48 hours I had two over-asking offers. I accepted one… and WE made the plan to spend 8 weeks packing my shit up and move it to Mexico, where we would live full-time. We left Mexico in his truck, with all the pets, and headed North. We stopped in Kanab, UT for the week of June 20th to fix some things at one of my other rental properties.

Again, we were supposed to be together for the entire 8 weeks. But while in Kanab, he said he just got a big project in MX and that he needed to return to MX to get started.  I support him and his work, I had no reason to believe this was not the truth.  So we made the decision to divide and conquer  — on June 25th, He drove back to MX by himself and I rented a car and drove myself and all the pets to SLC to begin packing/moving.

Throughout June, July, and August we were still talking, texting.  We put a plan in place for him to come back out the end of July and help me move. Originally I thought he was going to drive with me from SLC to Mexico, but no.. he said another big project came up. He left SLC on August. 2nd. It was not a great visit — he was purposely picking fights about stupid stuff (more on this later)…. BUT we were still have sexy time, he bought a car for me to drive while in MX (Audi Q7 — future story), he took $2800 from me for the MX house kitchen remodel (future story).

We were to reunite on Aug. 17th 2022 in Chandler AZ. He had made plans for us to go to the baseball game with his sons…. I had taken time off of work for it.. Sometime around August 10th-14th he told me the plan was no longer in place, that he had a lot of work to do. He would see me on August 23rd.  I was crushed.. Here I had been packing up and moving to be with him, and I felt like I was the only one making “us” a priority.  My best friend flew out from Reno to help me unpack and deal with this very uncertain time.

So Trash finally shows up on Aug. 23rd 2022. He walks into the house, take a call with CPS (dealing with the youngest child’s antics), we cleaned out the garage, unloaded my stuff from the trailer, etc..). you know, together stuff. We talked while I made dinner…. He asked to see my phone while I was making dinner… I let him. He’s my boyfriend, I trusted him, he can see whatever he wants on my phone. Well, while he had my phone, he transferred my phone line to his Verizon plan. I did not authorize this…. and this did come to bite me in the arse. I was able to remedy the situation: How I Got My Phone Number Back from My Ex.

Anyway, on this very night, as I was cleaning the dishes and I thought getting ready for bed, out of the blue he tells me that he is going to spend the night on his ex-wife’s couch because his “son needed him”. I called bullshit on this … I asked him what was going on, to be honest with me.  He reiterated his son needed him.  All other times his son needed him, the son(s) came to the house.  I asked why his son didn’t just come to the house.  He said his son wasn’t comfortable at the house.  This was strange to me as his kids just spent time at the house in July (story coming soon).  He left.  He called me from the car and reassured me that I had nothing to worry about.

Of course I cried.  I was so sad!  But my gut told me that something was not  right. I didn’t know what was going on… . I spend the night doing some digging, and a lot was not as he said. I caught him in lie after lie …. he still wouldn’t admit it, even when I had factual evidence/proof.

What did I find out?

  • That he didn’t borrow a friends car
  • That he didn’t have any projects in Mexico the entire summer
  • The entire time I was out of town he was telling everyone that we had broken up and was flaunting a new girl all over town. He met this “just a friend” on June 10th at a concert that I WAS AT WITH HIM, 10 days before we left for our 8 week “move” from SLC to Mexico.
  • He blocked off the Chandler house all of July and was hosting singles parties at the house.
  • He had a new girlfriend and was now living with her.

Trash had been living a double life — With me, on the phone, we were very much together — I was receiving texts, calls, etc about his work activities and how excited he was for my return.. In Mexico he was living a new life with his new girlfriend Laura.…. It was beyond heartbreaking to learn of all this after everything I had just done — changed my life to be with this man, only to learn I had literally been replaced while I was away.

Everyday since Aug. 25th I have awakened to some threat or action on his part to hurt, harass, stalk, and destroy me. I will tell each story, as they unfolded chronologically and with evidence.

If anyone else has been through this, I welcome words of wisdom or references…. not just for myself, but for others that may also be going through this.

Retaliation is Real - Home Invasion #1

PaulasPonderings5 Comments

The first break-in: Chandler AZ house — Sept. 7 2022

Police at my house in Chandler AZ on Sept. 7th 2022

Trash and I broke up on August 24th when I found out he was living with his new girlfriend (How I Became the Ex ).  I had no idea that this was not going to be a “normal breakup”.

As you all know, I told Trash to never contact me again. I could not go no contact at this time because we needed to work through getting his stuff out of my house (story coming soon) and the Mexico condo he is trying to steal from me:  Do NOT mingle finances with anyone. You will regret it.

I told him to stay away from me. That I wanted NOTHING to do with him. He didn’t listen. He kept coming to the Chandler AZ house and letting himself in. I was not going to live in fear.

So while I was in Mexico over Labor Day weekend (early September 2022) collecting my things from the house we shared in Mexico (Costa Diamante, Puerto Penasco), I hired a locksmith to change all the locks in Chandler AZ.  Sept. 6th 2022 they showed up and changed all the locks.  All I wanted to do was come home and prepare for my trip to Italy. I thought that if I did this, then I would be safe — I could return home, lock myself in, and not have him barging in unannounced. I could not have been more wrong about the situation.

One of the very few times I reached out to Trash first was this exchange — I just wanted him to know where to find his dog Baxter (story for another time). Instead of taking responsibility for his dog, he broke into my house — This is WhatsApp exchange with Trash on Sept. 7th 2022 — TD is the left side / grey, I am the right side / green:

To say I felt terrorized and violated is an understatement. I was shaking with fear, with anger…. He broke into my house and was squatting there. God only knows why. I called the Chandler police to have him arrested for trespassing (Chandler Police report 22–103692). He told the police he had a lease. Officer Swansen called me back and told me my only recourse was to evict him. So I did: The Eviction Process .

After a 6 week adventure through the court system, I was able to evict him. I was finally able to get back into my house on Oct. 17th 2022. He had indeed gotten in via the garage then broke through the door between the garage and house.

The break-in, the eviction judgement, and this WhatsApp exchange is part of the evidence that my Order of Protection was granted/upheld: Order of Protection Was Upheld .

This person, who had been cheating on me since BEFORE we left Mexico (and I’ve learned that he was cheating the entire duration of our relationship), and who clearly had moved on, was unhinged. I knew the violence he capable of — for months I had listened to him beat his son mercilessly (story to come). I knew his rage, and I knew he was capable of causing great harm.

Learning that the Chandler police would/could do nothing…. My heart was racing, I did not know what to do…. I knew I was not safe in the USA. I cried, I got mad at myself for being such a fool, for being so naive…. Then I drank some wine and made some decisions:

  • I needed to stay in Mexico with my friends. I had zero friends in Chandler/Phoenix. And the police could do nothing to protect me.
  • I cancelled my trip to Italy and visit with my parents (I was scheduled to leave Sept. 11th 2022).
  • I began searching for attorneys in the Chandler/Phoenix area. The one I found told me I was in danger and advised strongly that I not come back to the USA for any reason.

Thank god, at this point, from a work perspective, I had two weeks scheduled vacation. This gave me time to deal with this. I thought that two weeks was enough time. I was so so so wrong.

I was terrified. I had no idea what could or would happen. I have NEVER felt more unsafe and alone in my life. Ever. But it was about to get much worse as my no contact would enrage him so much that a week later he drove down to Mexico and broke into my condo: Retaliation is Real - Home Invasion #2 .

I have no lessons learned on this one. Just be careful out there.

How I Got My Phone Number Back from My Ex

PaulasPonderings2 Comments

He transferred my phone to his plan to maintain/gain control.

So people keep asking me how did Trash get my phone number transferred to his phone plan…. This is a wild story so buckle up buttercups.

When I finally saw Trash on August 23rd 2022 — first time since he helped me move in late July (future story), I was making dinner and he asked to see my phone. Of course I have nothing to hide, so I gave him my phone.

What did he do with the phone? He transferred my phone number to his plan. He had set it up prior to this day — so all he had to do was send a text message to my phone from his Verizon account/plan to approve the transfer. While he had my phone in his hands, he clicked the link he received in Messages to accept/approve the transfer. And voilà, he now had control of my phone number. 

Fast Forward to Sept. 13th 2022.  When I would not speak with Trash — there was nothing to say — he had cheated, lied about it, stolen from me, and basically deceived me for months … I did not believe he was capable of speaking the truth, so there was no reason to speak with him at all. This frustrated him.. and he eventually cut off my service after he broke into my Mexico Condo on Sept. 13th 2022 (Retaliation Is Real – Home Invasion #2).

Tony cuts my phone off - whatsapp - sept 13 2022

I called Verizon. They told me that my number could not be transferred back to my original Verizon account without Trash’s permission.  And of course Trash did NOT make me an authorized user on his plan/account.   I was beside myself with anxiety…. For those of us that work in tech, this means I now had zero access to any company software systems and I was unable to access any system that used my phone number for 2-factor authentication. This was no bueno.

As you know, I filed a police report with the Mexican authorities, Police report # 1995699, for the break-in.  I was searching the internet for answers and came across this article.  Using this information, I called Verizon and asked them what evidence they needed to perform the line transfer.   I was able to use the Mexico Police Report and the Ring Doorbell recordings as evidence to  do a Verizon Domestic Violence Transfer of my phone number from Trash’s plan back to my own account. 

The process took way longer than it should have and the Verizon folks on this team could certainly have shown more care/concern/sense of urgency about the situation. After emailing them for weeks with little to no response ,I finally ended up going into a Verizon retail store in Casa Grande (a 3 1/2 hour drive each way) to give them a physical copy of the police report (despite having emailed it to them many times) and share the ring doorbell recordings. Once they had this evidence, Verizon took action and I was able to renew my old account and transfer my number back into it.  HUGE shout out to Sarah, I will never forget her knowledge and kindness.

This is a great program and I’d love to share more about it, but I have not been able to find anything about online. If any of you find resources, please put them in the comments so others may benefit from the information.

So that is how I lost my phone number and was able to successfully get it back.

Lesson learned for me —

  • I will never depend on or share a plan with anyone, ever. I will always have my own account. 
  • I will never ever ever ever ever ever hand my phone over so freely ever again. I know a lot of people who have an open phone/sharing policy with your spouse or significant other. Never again for me.  If a partner has a question about something or wants to see something on my phone, I will show it to them. 

Do NOT mingle finances with anyone. You will regret it.

PaulasPonderings2 Comments

My fight to financially untangle myself from my Ex.

In February 2022 I purchased a condo in Mexico. Trash and I were to go in on it 50/50.  Purchase price was $250,000.  AT the ver last minute, the day before we were to close, Trash told me that he didn’t want to sell his stock (which is where he said he was getting his half of the purchase). He sad he would pay me back when the market improved, SO I paid for the condo myself — 100%. I got the money for this purchase by refinancing my house in Salt Lake City Utah. I was fortunate to pay all cash for the condo.

Because of the anti-laundering laws in Mexico, they would not let me wire the money from my Bank of America account because According to Mexico laws, any account that has the words “living trust” or “trustee” in it is not considered a personal checking account. Here are the emails I received the day before closing.

Email #1 from Closing Coordinator

Email #2 from Closing Coordinator

So the end result of this email exchange is that the Mexico title company could not accept the money from my account. And we were closing the very next day — Feb. 25th 2022.  Given that we needed a quick solution — I transferred the total amount required to close Trash’s Bank of America account and he wired it to the title company.

What I did not do, and the biggest mistake of my life thus far, is remove Trash’s name from the Private Contract. I didn’t think to do this because he said he would pay me back. Big Mistake.

Now Trash is trying to take the condo from me — saying it’s 50% his since his name is on the Private Contract and is demanding that I pay him 1/2 — which would be approximately $150,000. It’s a big mess that I am trying to work out here in Mexico right now. Lawyers in Mexico are not cheap…. but what else can I do?

He continues to tell people that it is HIS condo and that I am stealing it from him. He’s waving around a piece of paper that says he paid for the condo and I’m squatting.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

I purchased the condo.  I wanted a place for my parents to stay when they come out to visit me in the winter (they live in Pennsylvania). Outside of this, we would use it as a short term rental.

Facts are:

  • I transferred all the closing money, a total of $255,395.24 from my Bank of America account to Trash’s Bank of America on Feb. 25, 2022.
  • I also paid for the earnest money deposit of $5,000.  So I paid a total of totaling $260,395.24
  • I paid for any/all repairs or improvements.  All charges were put on a credit card THAT I PAID FOR.
  • I never saw a dime of the short term rental proceeds.  As I understand it now, he has grossed over $16,000 between March — August 2022.
  • I moved into the condo early September 2022 when I moved out of Trash’s house in MX. Our shared house that HE stayed in with his new girlfriend.  Told me she was an “old friend” and that I had met her before (more on this later)..

So now I have two attorneys — one in the US and one in MX to fight for what is mine.

Lessons learned:

  • never ever ever mix finances with anyone, let alone a narcissist. They believe what is yours is theirs.. and will fight for it.
  • They will steal from you and not feel bad about it at all. They have zero integrity or any moral compass….
  • They will never do the right thing — in their mind it is all about them and what is owed to them.

At the end of the day, I am spending a lot of money on lawyers and a lot of time fighting for what is rightfully mine. This lesson is the hardest lesson I’m learning and the hardest battle I’m fighting to date. So save yourself the headache and heartache— never ever mix finances with an ex, let alone a Narcissist.

Ending Narcissistic Abuse Using The Court System

PaulasPonderingsLeave a comment

Narcs will do just about anything to stay in contact. Best solution is to go no-contact and move on.

I asked him to never contact me again. I blocked him on every platform (WhatsApp, Text message, Email, Facebook, Snapchat, etc). Instead of just moving on with his life with his new Girlfriend Laura, He:

  • September 7th 2022:  Broke into my AZ home and refused to leave (Police Report #22–103692). Story here: Retaliation Is Real – Home Invasion #1
  • September 13th 2022:  Broke into my MX condo on Sept. 13th and damaged the property (copy of Police Report #1995699 provided to the court).
  • September 2022:  I had to use police reports and Ring doorbell recordings (above) to get Verizon to return my phone number to me.  Story here:  How I Got My Phone Number Back from My Ex
  • October 17th 2022: Had to be evicted from my Chandler AZ home.  Story here: The Eviction Process
  • October 21st – November 9th 2022:  I filed for an Order of Protection on October 21st 2022. Of course he appealed it. We originally had court scheduled on October 27th. however, the judge, for whatever reason, recused himself, and the hearing is now on Wednesday, Nov. 9th 2022.  Order of protection was upheld – story here:  Order of Protection Was Upheld
  • The items he stole from my Chandler AZ home:
  • His DirectTV fraud — using my phone number and address to set up accounts. In addition, he created fake email addresses in my likeness (i.e. paula.ponderings1@gmail.com vs the real email address of paulasponderings@gmail.com).
  • The credit card fraud  on two cards—
  • All of the WhatsApp conversations of him harassing me AFTER I asked him to leave me alone (coming soon!)

I’ve never had to work with the police before so everything is so new to me. I’m lucky I have an amazing Arizona attorney helping me through the process.

What I’ve learned:

  • Narcissists will never take accountability for their actions. It’s always someone else’s fault. In this case — mine.
  • When dealing with an aggressive Narcissist, hire a lawyer immediately — this may very well save your life.
  • Always always always go no contact. Nothing they have to say is true or warrants any of your attention — as my lawyer says, “If his lips are moving, he is lying”..

Please take care of yourself out there. I had no idea these kinds of people existed.. I’m learning the hard way. Educate yourself on narcissism and their behaviors…. it will help you spot one earlier in the dating cycle and could save your life and your sanity.

How did I get mixed up with such a conman?

PaulasPonderingsLeave a comment

Answers to the questions friends & family are asking me.

I am a nice person. It’s my nature to see the good in all people. I trust people and take them at their word. I assume people are like me — honest, kind, compassionate, empathetic, etc..

When someone tells me they are at work, I believe them. I believe it because that is what I am doing. When someone tells me they are “just a friend”, I believe them. Because I mean it when I say it — I tell the truth, I don’t hide things. And when in a committed relationship, I am as transparent as possible.

I thought Trash was like me — kind, sincere, in love with me, and wanted the same things in a long-term committed relationship. Obviously I would NOT have turned my world upside down if I didn’t believe this. I was invested and I showed it through my actions:

  • All the time and money to fly back and forth between Salt Lake City Utah and Rocky Point Mexico for the first 6 months
  • The purchase of a house in Chandler to be closer to him
  • Moving to Rocky Point Mexico in December to live with him
  • Help him raise his 13 year old wayward son for 6 months
  • and finally, the selling of my home in Salt Lake City Utah so we could be together forever

The demise of the relationship and the way it ended sits entirely on Trash’s shoulders (story to come). He found me, a good girl, mirrored me to get what he wanted. Based on all the research I’ve done, it’s his MO — His behavior with me is consistent with his past 3 girlfriends AND his ex-wife (story to come).

The truth is, the person he presented to me is not who he is. He is a conman and a narcissist. He played a long con-game and I simply did not see it. I never new narcissists existed, so I was blindsided when it ended.

At first I was ashamed, embarrassed that I was so gullible, that I didn’t suspect a thing until August 24th. A good friend of mine said “Don’t make it your problem. He is at fault.”

This made me feel a lot better about the situation, and has given me the strength to share my story in hopes that others become aware that there are monsters on this planet and you need to be very careful.

I have spent the last 4 months now (to the day), researching and learning all about Narcissism and how this could have happened to me. This Medium article by Myla Morningstar The Covert Narcissist’s Wish List: 10 Traits of the Ideal Victim does a great job explaining how I was a perfect target.

So here is what I have learned / come to grips with over these last 4 months:

  • The person Trash presented to me never existed; he was mirroring me to get what he wanted.
  • That what I thought we shared was not real (real to me, not to him).
  • He lied to me about everything; he never blocked his ex, Lola (they remained friends and even slept together while we were in a committed relationship).
  • That he used my trust in him to have multiple affairs and hookups; we were never in a committed relationship in his mind.

All I did was love someone, truly, deeply, and trusted that what he told me was true. This does not make me a bad person nor is it something to be ashamed of. And I will not change who I am because of this experience. I will continue to be loving, trusting, empathic and compassionate. But what I will do, moving forward, is:

Knowing what I know now has given me the closure I need to move on from this brutal life lesson. Outside of a few more stories that need to be shared, I will focus on my future, move past this, and start living my life again.

Thank you all for reading and please share this with any friends or family that you think may be involved with a narcissist. I wished someone had let me know sooner, because finding out on my own has been a very painful experience.

Credit Card Fraud — Part 1

PaulasPonderings1 Comment

The Ex knows how to game the system – the system lets criminals keep on crime-ing.

(Image credit: Shutterstock)

So today, Monday January 23rd 2023, I filed a police report for credit card fraud. Chandler AZ police report number: #23–9226.

Let me make this perfectly clear — I own 3 Short Term Rentals (STR). I created an LLC in 2018 to manage these rentals for tax purposes. Trash is in no way associated to the LLC nor is he on any deed of these properties.

He offered, as a boyfriend, to be the primary contact for one of my properties located in Chandler AZ. All other properties are managed by property managers. He offered — he said he wasn’t busy and could do it, and I mistakenly accepted.  Because he was the main contact for this property, I gave him access to my credit cards. The purpose was to purchase items for the rental property only.

Trash had access to two of my credit cards (account numbers no longer active):

  • card ending in 7767, a personal credit card I used for business management until early 2022.
  • card ending in 4757, a business credit card, associated to the LLC I used to support my STR business. Created in early 2022.

Once I created the small business account with Bank of America that was directly tied to my LLC, I switched from using 7767 and began using 4757. This happened early 2022. I got a credit card in Trash’s name so that he could purchase materials needed to sustain a short term rental, i.e. shampoo, conditioner, toilet paper, etc..

I cut Trash off from the business credit card (ending in 4757) on Aug 24th 2022 when I found out he was living with his new girlfriend Laura. He of course was livid. Once he knew it was over — that I wasn’t buying his lies, he began using the first card he had access to. I thought he gave the credit card back, but clearly he did not.

We broke up on August 24th 2022. He began using the card on September 8th 2022. I did not realize this until I received the statement. There should not have been any charges on the card as I had migrated to the credit card associated with my business (ending in 4757) and the personal card (7767) was dormant.

Somehow Trash still had the card. And he began using it in September 2022, mere weeks after we broke up. By Sept. 16th 2022, he had charged a total of $1057.62 to the card. When I learned of the charges, I filed a credit card fraud case with Bank of America:

He clearly made charges for gas, Amazon purchases, and even tried to hire a lawyer — Cardis Law Group — I assume to help him fight the eviction case I started on Sept. 8th 2022 (story here: The Eviction Process).

Ultimately Bank of America found all these charges fraudulent.

Given this confirmation from Bank of America, I filed a Police Report with the Chandler AZ police department (Police Report #23–9226). I filed the report with Officer Swanson. He took the report then called Trash to get his side. Officer Swanson called me back and stated that Trash did admit to making the charges stating that the card had his name on it. That’s some kind of logic isn’t it???

Officer Swanson told me that because Trash did indeed have a card with his name on it, these charges to not meet the criteria for Credit Card fraud (like the DirectTV fraud does). So again, this has to be dealt with in Civil Court (along with all the stolen items They Steal What You Love — Part 1).

So once again, Trash gets away with NOT being held accountable in the criminal court system. It is ridiculous to me that conmen like this continue to get away with this — theft, fraud, active deception, and breach of trust/contract. Again, I go back to my experience that the system is set up for criminals to crime. Nothing more, nothing less.

The laws need to change. If there is anyone out there that knows how to change the laws and needs an advocate for why changes are needed, reach out to me. I will stand with you. These criminals need to be held accountable.

Lessons learned:

  • NEVER mix business and personal. I will never ever again give access to my credit cards to anyone else. I will manage everything myself. If I begin to feel overwhelmed, I will sell a property or hire someone to help. Period.
  • Always cancel credit cards you are not using. I did not do this because there were still some monthly charges that Trash was supposed to transition to the new card. He did not. I should have taken care of this.

At the end of the day, I will never be too busy with work and my side hustle to not protect myself. I will never trust a partner to do the right thing. I will make sure that I take care of anything and everything. Because at the end of the day, this is my livelihood.

Wire Fraud — January 2023 (5 months post-breakup)

PaulasPonderingsLeave a comment

Retaliation is real.  Drama is his game.

Picture from Utahlandtitle

On January 31st, 2023, I received a call from Bank of America. Trash had wire transferred money into my account from his Wells Fargo account and it was flagged as fraudulent. Bank of America was calling me to get my approval to return the funds. Of course I said yes. The agent that called me did not have details on why the transfer was marked as fraud, and gave me the Bank Of America business account fraud department number (1–800–729–9437 option 2,3,3)to call to get more details. Case # BML 230130–003835.

So today, Feb. 3rd 2023, I called Bank of America Business checking Fraud department to get more details about the wire fraud.

Here is the timeline:

1/19/23 — Trash wire transferred $3500 from his Wells Fargo account to my BofA business checking account. Here are the details from my Bank of America statement:

1/30/23 — Trash then called his bank (Wells Fargo) and reported the transaction that HE INITIATED as fraud. Bank of America has the following note from Wells Fargo (the remitter): “Please return payment per fraud”.

1/31/23 — My bank, Bank of America, called me and told me the transfer had been flagged as fraud and was seeking my approval to return funds. Of course I gave permission and the funds were returned the very same day. Here are the details from my Bank of America statement:

What in the sand hill is going on? Why would he do this? And what is the significance of the dates January 19th and 30th 2023?  Was he trying to hide money?  Was he trying to set me up as perpetuating wire fraud?  As far as I know he has not reported this to the police, no officer has called me from Gilbert Police to seek an explanation.

But for now, be very very very aware that retaliation is real — they will do whatever the can to hurt you. I have reported this incident to my Lawyer as well as the Chandler police, police report # 23–13964.

If anyone has been through this and can explain the significance of doing this, please comment. I just have no idea why someone would do this 5 months post-breakup.