Thief

Do NOT mingle finances with anyone. You will regret it.

PaulasPonderings2 Comments

My fight to financially untangle myself from my Ex.

In February 2022 I purchased a condo in Mexico. Trash and I were to go in on it 50/50.  Purchase price was $250,000.  AT the ver last minute, the day before we were to close, Trash told me that he didn’t want to sell his stock (which is where he said he was getting his half of the purchase). He sad he would pay me back when the market improved, SO I paid for the condo myself — 100%. I got the money for this purchase by refinancing my house in Salt Lake City Utah. I was fortunate to pay all cash for the condo.

Because of the anti-laundering laws in Mexico, they would not let me wire the money from my Bank of America account because According to Mexico laws, any account that has the words “living trust” or “trustee” in it is not considered a personal checking account. Here are the emails I received the day before closing.

Email #1 from Closing Coordinator

Email #2 from Closing Coordinator

So the end result of this email exchange is that the Mexico title company could not accept the money from my account. And we were closing the very next day — Feb. 25th 2022.  Given that we needed a quick solution — I transferred the total amount required to close Trash’s Bank of America account and he wired it to the title company.

What I did not do, and the biggest mistake of my life thus far, is remove Trash’s name from the Private Contract. I didn’t think to do this because he said he would pay me back. Big Mistake.

Now Trash is trying to take the condo from me — saying it’s 50% his since his name is on the Private Contract and is demanding that I pay him 1/2 — which would be approximately $150,000. It’s a big mess that I am trying to work out here in Mexico right now. Lawyers in Mexico are not cheap…. but what else can I do?

He continues to tell people that it is HIS condo and that I am stealing it from him. He’s waving around a piece of paper that says he paid for the condo and I’m squatting.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

I purchased the condo.  I wanted a place for my parents to stay when they come out to visit me in the winter (they live in Pennsylvania). Outside of this, we would use it as a short term rental.

Facts are:

  • I transferred all the closing money, a total of $255,395.24 from my Bank of America account to Trash’s Bank of America on Feb. 25, 2022.
  • I also paid for the earnest money deposit of $5,000.  So I paid a total of totaling $260,395.24
  • I paid for any/all repairs or improvements.  All charges were put on a credit card THAT I PAID FOR.
  • I never saw a dime of the short term rental proceeds.  As I understand it now, he has grossed over $16,000 between March — August 2022.
  • I moved into the condo early September 2022 when I moved out of Trash’s house in MX. Our shared house that HE stayed in with his new girlfriend.  Told me she was an “old friend” and that I had met her before (more on this later)..

So now I have two attorneys — one in the US and one in MX to fight for what is mine.

Lessons learned:

  • never ever ever mix finances with anyone, let alone a narcissist. They believe what is yours is theirs.. and will fight for it.
  • They will steal from you and not feel bad about it at all. They have zero integrity or any moral compass….
  • They will never do the right thing — in their mind it is all about them and what is owed to them.

At the end of the day, I am spending a lot of money on lawyers and a lot of time fighting for what is rightfully mine. This lesson is the hardest lesson I’m learning and the hardest battle I’m fighting to date. So save yourself the headache and heartache— never ever mix finances with an ex, let alone a Narcissist.

Ending Narcissistic Abuse Using The Court System

PaulasPonderingsLeave a comment

Narcs will do just about anything to stay in contact. Best solution is to go no-contact and move on.

I asked him to never contact me again. I blocked him on every platform (WhatsApp, Text message, Email, Facebook, Snapchat, etc). Instead of just moving on with his life with his new Girlfriend Laura, He:

  • September 7th 2022:  Broke into my AZ home and refused to leave (Police Report #22–103692). Story here: Retaliation Is Real – Home Invasion #1
  • September 13th 2022:  Broke into my MX condo on Sept. 13th and damaged the property (copy of Police Report #1995699 provided to the court).
  • September 2022:  I had to use police reports and Ring doorbell recordings (above) to get Verizon to return my phone number to me.  Story here:  How I Got My Phone Number Back from My Ex
  • October 17th 2022: Had to be evicted from my Chandler AZ home.  Story here: The Eviction Process
  • October 21st – November 9th 2022:  I filed for an Order of Protection on October 21st 2022. Of course he appealed it. We originally had court scheduled on October 27th. however, the judge, for whatever reason, recused himself, and the hearing is now on Wednesday, Nov. 9th 2022.  Order of protection was upheld – story here:  Order of Protection Was Upheld
  • The items he stole from my Chandler AZ home:
  • His DirectTV fraud — using my phone number and address to set up accounts. In addition, he created fake email addresses in my likeness (i.e. paula.ponderings1@gmail.com vs the real email address of paulasponderings@gmail.com).
  • The credit card fraud  on two cards—
  • All of the WhatsApp conversations of him harassing me AFTER I asked him to leave me alone (coming soon!)

I’ve never had to work with the police before so everything is so new to me. I’m lucky I have an amazing Arizona attorney helping me through the process.

What I’ve learned:

  • Narcissists will never take accountability for their actions. It’s always someone else’s fault. In this case — mine.
  • When dealing with an aggressive Narcissist, hire a lawyer immediately — this may very well save your life.
  • Always always always go no contact. Nothing they have to say is true or warrants any of your attention — as my lawyer says, “If his lips are moving, he is lying”..

Please take care of yourself out there. I had no idea these kinds of people existed.. I’m learning the hard way. Educate yourself on narcissism and their behaviors…. it will help you spot one earlier in the dating cycle and could save your life and your sanity.

They Steal What You Love — Part 1

PaulasPonderings3 Comments

Because all they want to do is hurt you

Narcissists have a grandiose sense of entitlement — They think the world owes them and they will steal, lie, cheat to get what they feel should be theirs. True to his character, Trash is a thief.

So what has been stolen? Basically everything of worth. Trash left some of his used furniture for me to dispose of (story for another time), and took all the items of value, which of course where mine.

In November 2022 I filed Police report 22–126649 with the Chandler AZ police. Total value of all the items that Trash stole from me is $ 12,690. A class 3 felony here in Arizona could land him in prison for 3.5–7 years.

This story will just be about the artwork ,which totals about $6300. This is artwork that I purchased while living in Salt Lake City, Utah. I moved it to Chandler on Aug. 17th 2022 and hung it up over the weekend of August 20th with my best friend Katie. The other stolen items will be new stories (its a series peeps!).

Trash took my things not because he liked it; the opposite, he didn’t like it. He made of fun of it. But he knew that I love it, that it took me a long time to curate the collection. And that is why he stole it — because I loved it.

Here is just some of the items, displayed beautifully at my home in Salt Lake City, UT. You can see all of the items he stole here.

Pictures of some of the Stolen Items

Trash told the police that he made the purchases while we were in business together. Which of course is not true.  As of now the Police will not do anything — it has to be resolved in Civil Court (story for another day).

I know where some of the artwork is — it is at his new girlfriend, Laura’s house. As I am not 100% sure as I do not have video evidence, but would wager that the other items such as patio furniture, outdoor umbrellas and cafe lights, the locks, the wifi enabled landscape timer, etc. are all there as well. What a sweet fella to give his new girlfriend stolen items.

How do I know? Because Trash thinks he is above the law and posted pictures of it on Facebook. You bet I submitted the information the police. What did he do? Posted a joke Facebook Story about art… You can watch it here.

I have named Laura in the supplemental reports as a person in possession of stolen goods.

The prosecutor must prove that you controlled another person’s property after knowing or having reason to know that the property was stolen. Technically, you don’t need to buy the stolen property, it is enough to merely accept it.

Below is the proof I submitted to the Chandler Police.

Set of Two Prints — Neutral Modern Art

Trash has been posting Facebook Stories and the stolen artwork is clearly hanging up at Laura’s house.

First supplemental report filed with the Chandler AZ Police: 22–141867. The evidence came from a Facebook Story Trash posted on Facebook. Full video here.

Artwork at my SLC UT home vs. at Laura’s house:

And the receipt for the art, I purchased, in October of 2021 —

Wait, there is more.

One of a Kind — Paris Street Scene

I purchased this in 2010 while visiting a friend in Paris. It’s one-of-a-kind / irreplaceable. He was dumb enough to post another video with more of my artwork hanging up at the new girlfriend’s house.

Second supplemental report filed with the Chandler AZ Police: 22–151118. The evidence came from a Facebook Story Trash posted. I do not have the full video.

Artwork at my SLC UT home vs. my artwork at Laura’s house:

So, what have I learned from this experience?

  • That a narcissist believes that what is yours is theirs;  your stuff now equals their stuff and their stuff still equals their stuff . Such a huge sense of entitlement. I mean he didn’t just steal from me, he stole from the previous ex Lola (I met the ex girlfriend — she is NOT crazy; she is absolutely lovely ) and he stole from the ex prior to Lola. Spiritualwhistleblower on TikTok speaks the truth here.
  • That the police are pretty much useless in these situations. I can prove that we were not in business together, that these items were purchased by me with my credit card, some of them before I met Trash. They don’t care.
  • The court system is set up for criminals to crime. I’m convinced the hoops a victim/survivor is required to jump through is means to discourage them to push forward and fight for what they deserve — Justice.

I have filed a Civil Suit — for fraud/deception (for lying about the funds for the condo) , theft (my art (this article) and other stuff), as well as damage done to the Chandler house (more on this later). I will not give up until what is mine is returned to me.

Credit Card Fraud — Part 1

PaulasPonderings1 Comment

The Ex knows how to game the system – the system lets criminals keep on crime-ing.

(Image credit: Shutterstock)

So today, Monday January 23rd 2023, I filed a police report for credit card fraud. Chandler AZ police report number: #23–9226.

Let me make this perfectly clear — I own 3 Short Term Rentals (STR). I created an LLC in 2018 to manage these rentals for tax purposes. Trash is in no way associated to the LLC nor is he on any deed of these properties.

He offered, as a boyfriend, to be the primary contact for one of my properties located in Chandler AZ. All other properties are managed by property managers. He offered — he said he wasn’t busy and could do it, and I mistakenly accepted.  Because he was the main contact for this property, I gave him access to my credit cards. The purpose was to purchase items for the rental property only.

Trash had access to two of my credit cards (account numbers no longer active):

  • card ending in 7767, a personal credit card I used for business management until early 2022.
  • card ending in 4757, a business credit card, associated to the LLC I used to support my STR business. Created in early 2022.

Once I created the small business account with Bank of America that was directly tied to my LLC, I switched from using 7767 and began using 4757. This happened early 2022. I got a credit card in Trash’s name so that he could purchase materials needed to sustain a short term rental, i.e. shampoo, conditioner, toilet paper, etc..

I cut Trash off from the business credit card (ending in 4757) on Aug 24th 2022 when I found out he was living with his new girlfriend Laura. He of course was livid. Once he knew it was over — that I wasn’t buying his lies, he began using the first card he had access to. I thought he gave the credit card back, but clearly he did not.

We broke up on August 24th 2022. He began using the card on September 8th 2022. I did not realize this until I received the statement. There should not have been any charges on the card as I had migrated to the credit card associated with my business (ending in 4757) and the personal card (7767) was dormant.

Somehow Trash still had the card. And he began using it in September 2022, mere weeks after we broke up. By Sept. 16th 2022, he had charged a total of $1057.62 to the card. When I learned of the charges, I filed a credit card fraud case with Bank of America:

He clearly made charges for gas, Amazon purchases, and even tried to hire a lawyer — Cardis Law Group — I assume to help him fight the eviction case I started on Sept. 8th 2022 (story here: The Eviction Process).

Ultimately Bank of America found all these charges fraudulent.

Given this confirmation from Bank of America, I filed a Police Report with the Chandler AZ police department (Police Report #23–9226). I filed the report with Officer Swanson. He took the report then called Trash to get his side. Officer Swanson called me back and stated that Trash did admit to making the charges stating that the card had his name on it. That’s some kind of logic isn’t it???

Officer Swanson told me that because Trash did indeed have a card with his name on it, these charges to not meet the criteria for Credit Card fraud (like the DirectTV fraud does). So again, this has to be dealt with in Civil Court (along with all the stolen items They Steal What You Love — Part 1).

So once again, Trash gets away with NOT being held accountable in the criminal court system. It is ridiculous to me that conmen like this continue to get away with this — theft, fraud, active deception, and breach of trust/contract. Again, I go back to my experience that the system is set up for criminals to crime. Nothing more, nothing less.

The laws need to change. If there is anyone out there that knows how to change the laws and needs an advocate for why changes are needed, reach out to me. I will stand with you. These criminals need to be held accountable.

Lessons learned:

  • NEVER mix business and personal. I will never ever again give access to my credit cards to anyone else. I will manage everything myself. If I begin to feel overwhelmed, I will sell a property or hire someone to help. Period.
  • Always cancel credit cards you are not using. I did not do this because there were still some monthly charges that Trash was supposed to transition to the new card. He did not. I should have taken care of this.

At the end of the day, I will never be too busy with work and my side hustle to not protect myself. I will never trust a partner to do the right thing. I will make sure that I take care of anything and everything. Because at the end of the day, this is my livelihood.

Wire Fraud — January 2023 (5 months post-breakup)

PaulasPonderingsLeave a comment

Retaliation is real.  Drama is his game.

Picture from Utahlandtitle

On January 31st, 2023, I received a call from Bank of America. Trash had wire transferred money into my account from his Wells Fargo account and it was flagged as fraudulent. Bank of America was calling me to get my approval to return the funds. Of course I said yes. The agent that called me did not have details on why the transfer was marked as fraud, and gave me the Bank Of America business account fraud department number (1–800–729–9437 option 2,3,3)to call to get more details. Case # BML 230130–003835.

So today, Feb. 3rd 2023, I called Bank of America Business checking Fraud department to get more details about the wire fraud.

Here is the timeline:

1/19/23 — Trash wire transferred $3500 from his Wells Fargo account to my BofA business checking account. Here are the details from my Bank of America statement:

1/30/23 — Trash then called his bank (Wells Fargo) and reported the transaction that HE INITIATED as fraud. Bank of America has the following note from Wells Fargo (the remitter): “Please return payment per fraud”.

1/31/23 — My bank, Bank of America, called me and told me the transfer had been flagged as fraud and was seeking my approval to return funds. Of course I gave permission and the funds were returned the very same day. Here are the details from my Bank of America statement:

What in the sand hill is going on? Why would he do this? And what is the significance of the dates January 19th and 30th 2023?  Was he trying to hide money?  Was he trying to set me up as perpetuating wire fraud?  As far as I know he has not reported this to the police, no officer has called me from Gilbert Police to seek an explanation.

But for now, be very very very aware that retaliation is real — they will do whatever the can to hurt you. I have reported this incident to my Lawyer as well as the Chandler police, police report # 23–13964.

If anyone has been through this and can explain the significance of doing this, please comment. I just have no idea why someone would do this 5 months post-breakup.