Late Night & Robert Taylor.

PASADENA, CA - JANUARY 13:  Actor Robert Taylor of "Longmire" speaks at the A&E panel during the A&E Networks portion of the 2012 Television Critics Association Press Tour at The Langham Huntington Hotel and Spa on January 13, 2012 in Pasadena, California.  (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

So I’m working late tonight for a variety of reasons – all of which I’m not happy about.  I’ve reached my limit and working towards a new solution, one that includes finding a new place of employment.  More on this later.

This post is all about my new crush – Robert Taylor.  I discovered him on a new-to-me Netflix series – Longmire.  He is the main actor – and OMG, is he gorgeous.  If you know Robert Taylor, know a friend of a friend of Robert Taylors, or if you know of someone who looks like him that is single, YOU MUST introduce me.  Looks wise, he rocks my boat.

Check out the series – Longmire – and tell me what you think – I think it is great – great character development, gorgeous scenery (Wyoming country, Robert Taylor), each story is interesting.  It’s like a modern day/contemporary Perry Mason.

Honestly, If this is the kind of man that Australia produces, I’m moving to Australia immediately…   I know just the person who can help me…

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A Weekend Of Reflections.

mirror-self-reflection-imageI would have written this weekend but I was tied up – with the flu, food poisoning, or some sort of stomach ailment that caused me to spend the weekend a) in fetal position, and b) the requirement to be in very close proximity to a clean and working toilet.

Maybe I had a few hallucinations, or maybe I’m just learning from my experiences, but here is where I’m at:

  • 30 minute workouts are perfect for me.  By the time I realize I’m working out, the workout is over.  I could probably go 45 minutes with the same attitude..  But for now I’m signed up for three 30 minute fat blast sessions a week. I go in the mornings. I’m loving the instructor, the class, and don’t mind the 15 minute drive to a fro.
  • Regularity is gods gift.  Too much is… well, is too much.  Not enough is painful.  My newfound love for daily movements is here to stay.
  • Being a “working stiff” isn’t a bad thing.  It is hard to deal with when amongst the non-working crowd yes.  I have not mastered how to gracefully make this work. I have spent the last few years feeling insecure about being a “working girl” when I was hanging with all the folks who didn’t work. Why?  BECAUSE I couldn’t relate – and truth be told, I am envious.  I want to spend more time reading books, napping, taking vacations, seeing the world.  But I can’t. At least I cannot right now.

I’m starting to feel less envious and less bad about where I’m at.  It is NOT bad.  It IS what it is.  I am where I am.  It’s not where I would like to be, but I have 110% control of where I want to go next.  So I think I may be done with my pity party and onto my next adventure, which right now is cooking Thai food.  Which by the way, tastes much better when someone else is cooking it for me or tasting it with me.

As you all know, one of my new years resolutions is to stop buying things and to pay off all my debt.  I AM paying off my debts like a mad woman… however, I’ve slipped.  I think I’ve been torturing myself with not having the things I need, waiting for someone else to get them for me.  Since ATrain broke up with me, I started thinking – I deserve nice things!  I decided that I’m treating myself to the things I’ve needed to turn my cottage into a comfortable place for me to spend time.  I’m going for it – making my small casa feel like home and investing in myself.

  • a new rug (LOVE IT),
  • a new TV (it was on sale AND its awesome),
  • and about $800 of new shoes and clothing.

It feels good, and is what has me rethinking  – I’m worth it.  Although I’d love another person to help me out, I’m not looking for a “helper”, I’m looking for a partner. Someone who wants me and us to have these things. ATrain has all these things, but they are for him, not for us.  And that is o.k. I’m glad he got and has these things for himself, it’s too bad I wasn’t part of it.

Anyway, I’m working hard at keeping myself busy – I’m putting my professional “business plan” in place, I’m going to my fat blaster class, and my mind is slowly coming out of the emotional cloud.  I like my downtime now.  It was scary at first, now its enjoyable.

And believe it or not, I’m taking lessons from my cats on how to value myself. Examples include:

  • Zoey – there are 3 doors into/out of the cottage – whatever door is NOT open is the one that Zoey wants to come through.  And I DO IT!  I get up and open the door for her.  For example, the screen door next to the kitchen is open, the cat door is available to her 24-7. But Zoey will scratch at the closed front door to be let in. The front door is about 4 feet from the cat door.  Yes, that is right, 4 feet. But she scratches and I open…she demands and I get up – every time.
  • Sophie – somehow ends up on my lap, while my laptop is on my side, on 2 pillows.. why? Because Sophie wouldn’t have it any other way.  And honestly, if I didn’t give her what she wanted, she would pester me until I would lose my mind.  So how did she train me to give her what she wants and I just do whatever (hurt my eyes, strain my back, etc.) to give her what she wants? She is a 9 pound cat!?!! And she is the boss.

So why am I so accommodating? Why am I not being as demanding as these two 9 pound monsters that rule my life?  No idea – because I’ve never been demanding? Because I don’t know how to be? I need to learn. It’s not about being demanding, it’s about knowing what I want and not being ashamed of it.

I’d love to hear your experiences about you getting stronger, learning to demand more at home and at the office.

Indian in Chinatown.

apple-amongst-orangesYep. I have found and am eating at the only Non-Chinese restaurant in Melbourne’s Chinatown district.  Well, to be fair, it is the only Non-Chinese, Non-American establishment within 2 blocks of my hotel in the Melbourne Chinatown district.  And its a Sunday night, and there isn’t much open on a Sunday night.

I find this choice much like the choices I’ve made while on my life’s journey – against the grain.  I have opted to NOT eat at the 1000 Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, noodle houses, etc. near me.  I’ve picked the one Indian restaurant around – Jaisalmer Palace.  The food – delicious. I would definitely come here again, what a find!  But the bigger question – Why do I pick the one place that isn’t “normal”?  Whatever causes this type of thinking, I was born with it.  But enough about me, let’s talk about me!  Just kidding (sort of).  Let’s talk about my day/weekend.

  • First, I am in fucking Melbourne Australia!  Yes, that’s right, Melbourne. Only one of the best cities on this planet.  It’s San Francisco, but better (nicer people, generally happier people, less ego driven, more relaxed, etc..). It’s like Italy, but better (it actually has a sustainable and growing economy)..  would I move here? In a heart beat!
  • And one of my very dearest, best friends lives here. Lets call her Smiles from now on, because she has one of the best smiles ever. Its taken me 10+ years to get back to Melbourne and be in her presence. Seeing her for the first time, again, it was like no time had passed, It’s like we haven’t skipped a beat. Catching up with her, our lives, and visiting with her family makes me feel truly alive and lucky.  Last time I was in Australia, I visited with Smiles and her immediate family (mum, dad, sisters, etc)  and had more fun than any one person should have in a lifetime, let alone 2+ weeks.  10 years later, we are both in very different places, and we are still as connected.  She shared her life openly.  We were swinging singles back then (not really, single yes, swinging, no).   She now shares her life with a handsome Aussie and 2 kids..   Spending the day with her and her family made me feel so lucky – I’ve done something right because someone I love to the end of this earth just shared a day in her life with me without reservation.  How lucky am I??
  • AND (I know, it gets even better!!) one of my newest besties is ALSO living in Melbourne.  I got to catch up with her, introduce her and her hubby to Smiles, and who knows… maybe another connection made.

This weekend, for me, is what life is what MY life is all about.  Connecting with people who I love dearly.  I know I don’t have kids, and I will not carry on the typical “legacy”, but that is o.k..  I live, I love, and I feel loved.  And being in this space, where I love openly, where I feel loved, isn’t that what life is about?  Taking care of those we cherish?  Knowing who to cherish and why?  I spent what felt like a lifetime in a marriage with someone who didn’t love me – didn’t truly love my quirkiness… and it took its toll on me. I bring it up now only because it’s taken me 5+ years to close this insecurity.  I have fewer and fewer why didn’t it work” moments (not just with the Ex but with My Mr. Big, Mr. Showtime, and the like, which you can catch up on by reading The Roster (which I will update soon enough)) and more and more “here we go” hands-up-in-the-air roller coaster moments.

So, while trying not to be philosophical, life has been a roller coaster and I’ve often felt out-of-place.  But today, this weekend, while sitting in this Indian restaurant 15000 mile away in a city I love because its near a bestie, I realize, I’m in exactly the right place for me.  Which is the path that 99% of the people would NOT take. I get that, and I’m learning to be o.k. with it.  And more and more I’m better than o.k. with it, I’m LUCKY to have had this path.  Definitely not what I pictured for myself, but truly lucky to have experienced it thus far.

O.k. now I need to leave this restaurant, go back to the hotel, and get ready for work tomorrow.  There are a few other things I want to write about – such as saving a super drunk girl from herself last night (my first night with an Aussie wink wink was not what you would ever guess/think), the Melbourne lights night that was super crowded, to meeting strangers at the Exec Lounges (and I love it!!). So many stories, so little time!

Behaving Badly Down Under.

New Besties from Western Australia
New Besties from Western Australia

So, WTF?  I am shaking it up down here in Australia….

First, I met a couple that I LOVE, that I am definitely going to keep in contact with.  I sat with them for breakfast and dinners for 3 days – they are an amazing fun couple.  We stayed in the Executive Lounge all night 2 nights in a row just talking and drinking…  It was so much fun I forgot to eat dinner 2 days in a row!  Margaret wants to take Errol to Italy, so we have made plans to vacation in Italy in September 2015.  I’ve signed myself up to plan this 2015 Italy vacation, and everyone is welcome.  We will be spending a week at a castle in the Umbria region, then another week on the Amalfi Coast… give or take a few weeks/months/years depending on my work, boyfriend, or marriage situation.  😉  The picture I’ve attached is of my new besties!

Second, I went out with the local sales guy yesterday, On Tuesday…. too yummy.  It took everything I had in me to behave appropriately.  He is handsome, down to earth, very attractive, fun, …. but he has his own set of distractions – he does have a girlfriend, and ex-wife, and a child..  I went home alone, but don’t think his luscious gorgeous face and thick accent was easy to leave behind.  Good thing for him that has a Niami Watts girlfriend type around to keep him happy.  Now I just have to find my Liev…

Went to a client site on Wednesday then spent most of the evening catching up on other work.  Another Hotel guest asked me to join him for dinner and I did. It was fun to not eat alone. He is from Connecticut, recently retired, and on his way to spend 2 months in New Zealand… I look forward to hearing about his adventure when he returns.

So that’s it. Nothing really “Bad” per say, but certainly not my regular routine.  Feels good to shake it up a bit.  And I love Sydney and the Australians in general. What a super nice bunch of folks.  Must be something in the water…

One last question – the girl I sat next to on the airplane.  I want to be  her friend.  She hasn’t reached out to me but I found her on Facebook. Is it too “stalkerish” to friend her?  If I do that she will know I had to find her – as she only gave me her name, no contact info.  Please advise.

10 Days in Australia.

14_02_19_SydneyClosetHello from down under! I just arrived in Sydney Australia. The trip was FANTASTIC- thank you Virgin Australia, Xanax and Ambien. I woke up, had breakfast on the plane, watched Shawshank Redemption, deplaned, went through security, picked up my luggage, and took the train to my hotel.  I’m all checked in (the room doesn’t have a bathtub??!?  What is going on with hotel rooms without bathtubs??).

I’m out of the country for 10 days.  I’m in Sydney for 5 days visiting with Customers. Then off to Melbourne to visit with more Customers. In between these weeks, I will be spending the weekend in Melbourne, catching up with two close friends. I’m soooo looking forward to it.

I packed one carry on bag for the 10 days.  I’ve attached a picture of all the clothing I brought with me for this 10 day trip. I’m super proud of myself for picking comfortable easy pieces that I can mix and match. I’ve been meaning to reduce my wardrobe, I can’t wait until I lose weight and I can get rid of it all EXCEPT for the cashmere.  🙂

I also sat next to this very cool girl on my way here. We are going to connect via email and the next time I’m in Sydney we are going to get together. She is 10 years my junior but very wise. She has lived a great life thus far… I will share her blog with you once I get the info.  I don’t want to give away her name just in case she too writes under an assumed name.

It’s raining here. The locals tell  me it’s about time – they haven’t had rain for a long time.  I wanted to go to the beach, I’ve never been to a Sydney beach, but alas, it is a to-do for another day.  So instead I went shopping.  Really just browsing and people watching.  I wanted to see what everyone is wearing, interact with the locals, etc.. I did purchase a coat, which I need for the week. It’s a casual business jacket.. I’ll wear it every day and beyond. Not cheap, but a good piece.

Now I’m in the Executive lounge having a glass of wine and posting this message.  I’m super excited about being here, being on this adventure, this journey. I need this time away from my regular life to figure things out. I cannot believe that I’m 42, cash poor, living in a persons garage apartment… at 42 I’m starting over. Why do I do this to myself? And what do I need to do to define a right path and stay on it. I saw this book at the airport and I didn’t buy it – http://www.amazon.com/dp/1583335080 – I didn’t want to carry it and thought it would be available at the next airport.. it wasn’t. Now I must have it.  Do I order it on Amazon and wait until I get home to read it? I feel like it would be such a great book for me to be reading NOW.

I’ll try to post every day – I know that I have a lot on my mind, it would be super helpful to have your support and guidance while on this journey!

Serendipity.

OMG..  what a day. I’ve not only done what I’ve never done before, I’ve done it with someone I never thought I would do it with!!

I know, what kind of story do I have to share??!?!  Interested??!!?  Me too.   Learning something new about myself every day.

So, today was a travel day.  I had to travel back East for work …  it takes a while to travel from the West Coast to the East Coast..   I flew JetBlue (SO disappointed that they didn’t have wifi this time).. anyway, I sat down, did my normal thing… yada yada.  There was a seat change right before the flight took off.  A good looking black man got stuck in the middle seat.  Oh well, my thought was he isn’t fat so the trip will be just fine. 

We started chatting, he was really interesting.  We talked almost the whole tim (this is a 5 hour 30 minute flight)….. and he invited me to dinner when we landed.  Now I would NEVER normally do this, but I felt safe AND I have to say, finding a place to eat in Boston after 11pm has proven to be a very big challenge.  So, he knew of a place that was open, we went to dinner, shared a bottle of wine, had fantastic conversation… He then dropped me off at my hotel and guess what?  He invited me to dinner AGAIN on Tuesday.  I have a date in Boston.. my first one! 

So, first, lets take a look at this – this man is 38 (not the 50-55 range that I like), he is black (never even gone there, don’t know anything about this)…  and is really smart in a scientifc way ( he is a multiple degreed scientist who owns his own company that does something with artificial intelligence around genetics (biotech)).. 

O.k. so not the type I spend my time looking for, but honestly, I was intriqued by him – so interesting (so young… ) but I was so comfortable being my oh so charming fun self.  I shared a few personal things, like my addicton to chapstick, ice, and the Amalfi Coast .  None of these things scared him off…  Yes, I’ll let him know of the other things on the “list” in due time..   😉

Crazy day.. Had to share it with my readers…  Beats the last entry by a long shot!!!

It’s a shocker for me…   Letting go, meeting people, and stepping and letting life take me somewhere new and intersting…  Ahhh….. so good.

OMG – Local Hooping Lessons Starting In May!

Can you believe my good fortune?!??!?   A friend just alerted me to a beginning hoopers series that is starting in MY TOWN this MAY!!!  OMG, OMG, OOO MMYYYY GODDDDD  I’m SO EXCITED!    Here is the link to all the info – http://www.heartbreakhoopers.com/ – you know that I’ve already emailed them with questions about the sessions… Me and my hoop are going public in May…   watch out Washington Park, here I come!

Can you feel my excitement!?!?!