Things can happen in an instant, your life can change in a matter of moments.
I’ve experienced this first hand in such an unexpected way. A-Train and I have spent a lot of time together since meeting back in early November. And the time we have shared has been just magical. I actually cried last night because I was so happy. I cannot belive how much he cares for me, how much he takes care of me, and how much I adore him.
I just returned from spending a fabulous weekend with him in Santa Barbara. I’ve finished unpacking, am now enjoying a glass of wine, and reminiscing about what great of a time we had. We drove down on Friday… spend time with his best friend – his childhood friend and his wife. I loved them both. I cannot wait to spend more time with them.. and we actually made plans to do that. It was comfortable and nice.
But before we left for Santa Barbara, A-Train had a surprise for me. He had taken my car into a body shop and had a small dent fixed for me. A dent that bugged me because I did it. I accidentally ran into the electrical pipe that runs from the meter. It’s attached to the house, but it’s placed on the side of the house where there is a very narrow driveway. I couldn’t see it…. when I first moved in I hit the pipe. The mark I made on the right front fender was deep, no hiding it. It has bothered me, embarrassed me since it happened. Not only because the dent is so obvious, but because it reminded me of my EX. My EX used to always accuse me of not taking care of things. The insinuation was that I was not as good as him and that I didn’t know how to properly take care of things, that I was careless. It really hurt me when he would say these words to me, after all, accidents do happen:
- he accused me of “trashing” his car because I put a string-cheese wrapper in his car door pocket SO that I could throw it away when I got out of the car….
- another time I lifted the lid on a printer and the plastic pin that holds the lid to the printer broke. He accused me of being careless… Honestly, I opened the lid and the thing snapped/popped… but for the next 3 years, I “broke” the printer… and was reminded 1000 times to “be careful this time”…
Anyway, the surprise. A-Train took my car to a body shop, had the dent repaired, and paid for it. He did it because he knew it would make me feel better. He wanted me to feel good. Wanted me to be happy. Seriously, I’ve NEVER had that kind of treatment. As we were driving to Santa Barbara I started tearing up. I told him how sweet he was, how nice and thoughtful it was. You know what he said? “I want to make you happy”. Really?!? Someone out there enjoys making me happy. Wow. I’ve never had that before. It feels very strange.. and awkward. It made me very uncomfortable at first… but really, after thinking about it, don’t I deserve that? I deserved that in my marriage, I deserve that in all my relationships – To be with someone who WANTS me to be happy, that wants to do what they can to make me happy… I feel the same way. I would go to the ends of the earth to do whatever necessary to make my partner happy….
So, two and a half months ago I didn’t know A-Train. Now I cannot imagine my life without him. I love spending time with him, traveling with him, hanging with him, and I sleep more soundly when I’m with him (I’ve had trouble sleeping for years… but not when I’m with him). Sigh….
All I know is that life can change in an instant. My instant was a couple of months ago when CLicious introduced me to A-Train. Lucky me.
My now-passed father never let my mother forget some mistakes. You used a printer lid and plastic pin as an example. I watched my dad persecute my mom over things like this and just KNEW it was a Very Bad Idea.
My mom has her own faults, like wandering off to take on completely unnecessary time-consuming tasks (like ironing) when everyone else is sitting in the car waiting to go somewhere important. I personally could not love her were she not my dear old mom (a newly-minted 80-year old with a mind as alert as it was 40 years ago).
Together they were a disaster. I have often modeled my own behavior on trying not to be like either of them.. 🙂
In your case, you are probably lucky to be rid of the EX that was treating you so very poorly. And no doubt pleased to be with someone treating you as you deserve — as someone to be cherished and loved.
Well Miss Paula it has happened to you at long long last. You have found a real partner to enjoy being you with. Smitten times 2 I would guess. By A Train as a person and by being treated as the center of his solar system. Sounds amazing and worth enjoying every drop.
My guess in this condition food and drink will taste better than it has in a long time. Make sure you record what your feeling so you can contrast it with the Pitty Party days of tester year.
As for your Ex. What a turkey of monumental proportions. If you did not need confirmation that him being your past is as was a good thing, your new fella does that by just breithing.
Be well H. S.