Ever walked into your home only to find it stripped of your cherished possessions? Imagine the shock of realizing not only was your home violated, but every piece of my life within it was callously stolen by someone you once trusted and loved. That’s what happened to me, and the culprit? The Ex – Trash.
Picture returning home after an eight-week absence (due to having to evict Trash from my very own home), accompanied by a constable and a police officer. As you approach your door, you notice the absence of your security measures—cameras, ring doorbell, and lock—all gone. Your heart is beating and you take a deep breath as you brace yourself for the gut-wrenching revelation awaiting beyond that door.
You swing it open, and chaos greets you. Furniture scattered, cherished belongings vanished. The once-beloved space now a haunting reminder of a love turned toxic. Questions echo in your mind: How did he breach this sanctuary? And why? The person you trusted, the one you believed shared your love and trust, has treated you and your belongings with a callous disregard.
The shock is palpable in the images I captured upon re-entering my violated home. It’s no longer a place fit for use or rental. Bookings had to be canceled, and I found myself at TJMaxx, hastily picking up sheets because he stole everything.
I’ve previously shared the heartbreak I felt when I discovered he had stolen all my artwork in “They Steal What You Love—Part 1.” so I won’t rehash this here. This post delves into the broader theft, meticulously documented and reported to the police: Furniture, rugs, bedding, luggage racks, vacuums, towels, and short-term rental essentials—all pilfered. Every single item accounted for with receipts, each one a testament to a breach of trust. The total value of these stolen possessions, cataloged and documented, amounts to $12,690.
Scroll through the ‘Before’ and ‘After’ pictures to witness the stark transformation of my once-beloved home. The list is exhaustive, with just a glimpse provided below. And let it be known that the financial toll went beyond the initial acquisition—every item had to be repurchased to restore the home’s charm, a costly endeavor triggered by Trash’s greedy departure.
Stolen Items from Inside the Home
Items Trash took that did not belong to him, that he took without permission. Just like he did with Lola things.
The bed was his. He did take it, thank god. It was an awful bed, and from what I’ve learned since the breakup, there were A LOT of women he shared that bed with while it was in my house. Good riddance.
Last but certainly not least is all home supplies like extra bedding, STR supplies such as laundry detergent, cleaning supplies, and backup supplies such as towels (regular and beach), silverware, glasses, etc..
He took more of my stuff than his— this follows suit with the outdoor items as well. When I purchased the home, it of course had zero backyard furniture. I furnished the backyard to make it swanky and fun – a true entertainers backyard. Well, Trash decided he was welcome to all of it…. Here are a just a few of the items that he took:
Outdoor music system as well as all four umbrellas – $400+
Outdoor 4 Chair Patio Set with gas heated center table along with 4 sets of cafe lights in the backyard – $2,000+. a place of relaxation and contemplation, removed from my outdoor sanctuary, along with all the outdoor lighting. Wonder how Nurse N’Poop feels having furniture at her house that Trash and I had sex on….
Purchased the patio set from a local store in Chandler Arizona. Store is now closed. Receipt is on my credit card statement. Outdoor lighting came from Amazon.
Stolen Outdoor Furniture & Lights
Wifi enabled landscape timer: yes, he just ripped it right off the wall.. I’m sure you can find this at Nurse N’Poops house too. He purchased it on his Amazon account but used MY Credit Card to pay for it. So I’m sure he’s off showing everyone how he purchased it. Ask him what credit card he used to pay for it. Yep. Mine. B-hyve Smart Indoor/Outdoor Irrigation Controller.
Cost of Repairs
Not only did he steal material items, he damaged my home. He managed to break through the locked door between the garage and laundry room. While squatting, he also stole:
the ring doorbell,
the front door Yale lock, and
a bunch of Arlo security cameras.
Not inexpensive items to replace. This on top of the over $1000 I paid a locksmith to have all the locks replaced twice (before he broke into Chandler and after he was evicted)…
Lessons Learned
I of course was shocked when I re-entered the house. The disarray of the home, all my items missing, all his items stacked up randomly all over the house… Again, you can see the pictures I took of the home when I re-entered here.
As it stands, his new girlfriend’s residence is adorned with a collection of items pilfered from his two ex’s (Me and Lola). The audacity he exhibits in helping himself to others’ belongings is nothing short of criminal. It’s a disconcerting display of entitlement, reminiscent of someone who hoards trophies from their misdeeds (like rapists and serial killers). The unsettling truth is, he seems to enjoy causing harm and suffering.
While the scars of betrayal remain, this journey has also fortified my resolve to navigate future relationships with caution and resilience:
I will never put any bills in a significant others name; in Arizona, this could be considered as them “living” at the home, which would require you to go through the eviction process to remove your ex from your property.
I will never let my day job become so overwhelming that I “hand over” any home or business tasks to my partner. I will hire someone as an employee.
I will never again share financial information with a partner; he will never have access to my bank accounts, credit cards, etc..
At this point, I may never live with someone else again. The idea of being together apart, where both partners have their own spaces, may become my new norm. It’s unconventional, but after this costly experience, it might be the way I move forward in future relationships.
I was speaking to a friend of mine, who also dated a man who took advantage of her financially. She bought a house and hired him as a contractor to work on the home. She paid him $$ to do this work. He also lived with her, in the home, rent free. When they broke up, she gave him time to move out of the house. He declined to move out. He hired a lawyer and sued her for 1/2 of the house that SHE BOUGHT with her money. So he was NOT on on the title/deed or mortgage, had not contributed a dime to the home, was NOT paying rent, WAS receiving compensation for his work. How did it work out? She ended up having to pay him off – she paid $60k to get him to slither out of her life. Imagine that – a guy wants to use the court system to get what he think he is rightfully owed, when he put NOTHING into the asset. I feel for my friend.
After this conversation, and in preparation for my civil suit, I put together a financial impact statement to better understand the financial impact of dating Trash for 16 months. The amount? $127,311.93. Everything here has a receipt to back it up. This ONLY includes money associated with his deceit beginning June 2023.
Let’s go through each category shall we?
Business Interference
I have lost income directly due to Trash’s actions. This includes:
10.14.22 – I had to cancel a short term booking at the AZ Chandler house because I was in the middle of the eviction process resulting in a loss of $ 1,430.62.
Trash called/emailed AirBnB in late July 2023 (almost a year post breakup) and reported my Mexico B509 Condo as fraudulent / duplicate. AirBnB cancelled all the reservations. There were two at the time:
7.29.23 – 2 night reservation, resulting in a loss of $ 579.69.
8.18.23 – 8 night reservation, resulting in a loss of $ 1,460.64.
His actions have consequences – it’s called Tortious Interference. AirBnb has admitted that he did this. We will be amending the Civil Suit to include damages for his interference.
Repairs
Repairs include anything and everything that I had to REPAIR after he broke into my AZ Chandler House and MX Condo. What did he damage/steal:
damaged the Jandy pool filtering system,
he stole the WIFI enabled landscape timer, which had to be replaced and installed
The door between the garage and laundry room that had to be replaced, installed, etc
The $$ for the locksmiths to change the locks 2x!
The replacement and installation of outdoor lighting and cameras he stole
He stole two industrial / commercial grade hoses
The replacement of Ring doorbells and keyless entry door locks
Fraud
NOTE, I was reimbursed by the credit card company, but the total loss for just fraudulent credit card charges is $6,941.56 ($5,883.94 + $1057.62). I filed 2 police reports with Chandler police, one for each card.
Business Credit Card (4757) – $5,883.94. This is the total amount he charged on my card without authorization between June 29th – August 25 2022. He was using my business credit card to entertain other women, including Lola and Nurse N’Poop, purchasing stuff on Amazon, purchasing gas for his truck, taking people out… He had the audacity to purchase new AC units for the Mexico house, on my credit card on August 15th 2022. So starts dating Nurse N’Poop in June 2022 and has the balls to charge $2,069.00 worth of assets on my business card for his house!
This is not just me calling it fraud. I filed a fraud claim with Bank of America – they agreed with me and credited my account.
Personal Credit Card (7767) – $1,057.62 . When I cut him off from the business card, he began using ANOTHER card, 7767, to charge things. So in the first few weeks of September 2022, he racked up $1057.62 in fraudulent charges. I did not know he still had the card, he was supposed to cut it up/not use it. He didn’t use it for many months – only AFTER he was cut off from the business card did he start using the personal credit card. Meaning he did it with purpose, he knew what he was doing. Details of this are in a previous post – Credit Card Fraud — Part 1 . Bank of America agreed this was fraud and credited my account for all the charges.
Theft
$32,601.67. This is what I can account for – meaning I have the receipts of the original purchase or cash withdrawl/transfer. Yes, I poured through credit card statements and purchase websites (Amazon, Overstock, etc). It include 3 primary areas:
$22,591.59 – Replacement of all items he stole from both the AZ Chandler home and the MX B509 Condo.
$6,010.08 – My money that he stole from the safe in the MX house. It was reimbursement of the charges Trash put on my credit card. He purchased a bunch of TV’s and alcholol for bars in MX on my card – he said he forgot his card in MX and asked if he could use my card. I said yes. Once he installed them and was paid, he gave me the money, which I put in the safe. I checked that the money was there before we left town on June 20th 2022. The money was in the safe. I had contemplated taking it with me, but chose not too, as it’s expensive to withdraw USD from an ATM in Mexico. When I went to get my things from the MX house in September 2022, he had taken all the money. We are the only two that knew the code to the safe – so it was definitely him who stole it.
$4000 – Money I gave to him to give the the MX RV Painter that he spent elsewhere. When I returned to MX in September 2022 to get my things, the RV guy was livid that he hadn’t been paid and threatened to sell the RV if he was not paid. I had to scramble around for 2 days to get enough cash to pay the painter so he didn’t sell the RV. Luckily I was able to VENMO money to friends that were headed to MX and get the money to the painter before he sold the RV.
Deception
$35,469.87 – yes, this is a doozy. This is split into the following categories:
Category
Amount
Notes
Car Rental
$1,127.37
When Trash left Kanab for MX, I had to rent a car to get around and get to SLC.
Move
$7,482.08
This is the cost of the move from SLC to Arizona and the cost to move furniture from my rentals to Arizona to replace items Trash had stolen from the AZ Chandler house.
Audi Repairs / Enhancements
$1,211.49
I thought the Audi was mine, so I paid for new tires and added a hitch to the vehicle so I could tow my trailer from SLC to MX. I clearly would NOT have done this if I thought that a) the car was not mine, or b) that he was with someone else.
Lost Income
$14,230.00
I had to take a month of unpaid leave to deal with his violence and shenanigans post-breakup.
MX Kitchen Remodel*
$11,418.93
This is the money I either paid to Trash directly to pay the contractor OR money I paid, on my credit card for supplies.
I want to point out that the MX Kitchen remodel, we agreed to each pay 50%. He told me that the total was going to be $16,000. After we broke up, the contractor told me the total cost of the MX Kitchen remodel was $8,000. You got that right – he lied to me about the total cost of the remodel so that I would pay it all.
Also note, that we were NOT supposed to start the remodel until I returned, but he insisted we start it before I left. I was not comfortable with this, but I didn’t stick to my guns on it. So he had already been communicating and hanging out with the new GF when we went to the hardware store and purchased $2,595.52 worth of supplies (6/14/22 and 6/20/22).
The kitchen remodel story should be a post all on its own, it is so deceptive and egregious.
$40,000.00+ – legal fees I’ve incurred since filing the civil suit to protect myself against Trash. Money I would NEVER have had to spend had he done the right thing.
Lessons Learned
I have learned so much about myself in this fiasco.
I was obviously far too trusting with my money. It just never occurred to me that a significant other would be so deceptive and actually steal from the person that they claim to love.
I also came to the realization that I didn’t think I had anything to steal. I never thought of myself as wealthy, of possessing the kind of money that would make me a target for conmen like Trash.
I now know that I am lucky, that I do have funds that people want to steal/take and/or feel entitled to. Moving forward, in any relationship, here is my course of action:
NOT share my financial state with anyone.
Give access to my credit cards or business accounts to anyone, ever.
I will NEVER invest in another persons property/asset. If you want me to invest, put me on title.
Simplify my life so that I do not “forget” how much cash I give someone. Or better yet, take responsibility for MY STUFF, never counting on someone to own a project (RV, House Remodel, etc) on my behalf.
Reduce the amount of properties I have so I can manage them by myself, without help from a significant other.
Be careful out there peeps. It’s a dangerous world.
As you all know, I filed a Civil Suit # (redacted as to not reveal Trash’s true identify) in the USA against Trash for fraud, deception, and theft. The premise of the complaint is simple:
He actively deceived me in order to con me into purchasing a condo in Mexico (Stealing My Condo)
He is responsible for damage at my house in Chandler, AZ
He is responsible for all items he stole from me that I had to replace
Last but not least, for the safe return of the items he stole that are NOT replaceable (artwork, rug, furniture, etc. – They Steal What You Love)
As you know, he played the victim and was claiming that I squatted in HIS MX Condo. In summary, he lied to me about his financial situation. Had I known the truth, I would have NEVER entered into a real estate transaction with him. This is the biggest reason I filed the civil suit – He actively deceived me about his financial state – which is fraud in its purist definition: ”wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain.“
Currently we are in the discovery phase. This means that I have to present my case and evidence and Trash needs to present his. Well, after much delay on his side, he/his lawyer finally responded last week. There are two parts to his response, and of course, the lessons I’m learning along the way:
It’s rich folks so grab yourself a cocktail and strap in.
The $102,278.07 Invoice
Yes, you read that right. His main piece of evidence is a $102,278.07 invoice for work WE did at my properties, including a price on the honey-do list. That’s right. He basically entered into court a falsified document, an invoice with:
a price for work WE did as a couple on the properties. He did not do them alone – we did them TOGETHER, as a couple.
things he offered to do because he fired contractors I had hired to do the work because they were “taking advantage of me”
activities that happened after the date of the invoice – January 2022.
things that never happened or ever existed
Basically he entered into court a false document, which he will attempt to use as “proof” I owed him $100k, thus the reason he didn’t contribute a penny towards the purchase of the Mexican condo.
The reality is, he lied to me about his financial situation, and he is trying to cover this fact up by submitting a false narrative and attempting to back up his false narrative with a fraudulent document.
The Invoice is Forgery
This is absolutely a forged document. There was never a single discussion nor was the invoice presented to me while we were dating. There is no way he can back up ANY of the claims he states in this fabricated invoice. In Arizona, A false document is one that is forged, groundless, contains a material misstatement or false claim, or is otherwise invalid. The recording of a false document with the county recorder will subject the person to both civil and criminal liability under Arizona’s false documents statute.
Notice the invoice is dated January 2022. Most of the items on this invoice took place in 2022, not 2021. I have ALL the receipts. Below are just a few examples:
1. October 2022. All the directTV charges (all directTV items and anything electronic related were returned to his employer) are fabricated.
I returned all his work equipment and all electronic devices to his employer in Oct 2022. I have an email confirmation from his supervisor that the items were picked up and here are the pictures of the actual return event.
2. November 2022. Trash abandoned a bunch of things at the house. He had over 8 weeks of unfettered access to the house during the eviction process and an additional 2 weeks to make “reasonable attempt” to get his things:
He broke into the home on Sept. 7th 2022
He was officially evicted on Oct. 17th 2022.
Oct. 17th – 31st 2022 to make a “reasonable effort” to retrieve the items he left
He chose, instead to leave his shit. Which I had to remove from the property. Here are the pictures I took upon the initial entry on Oct 17th 2022. It took me a month to itemize the list of shit that he a) left and b) stole …. All his items were either a) sold and money given to the true owner (Lola) or b) donated and Trash was given the tax donation forms.
He took some of his things – his bed, his two dining tables, all the kitchen stuff (including the dishes, Tupperware, silverware, pots, pans, etc., but mostly he stole my stuff – rugs, towels, cleaning supplies, bedding, art (Steal what you love part 1). But he made ZERO attempt to get the things he invoiced me for. Invoice total of $18,299.30 for items HE HIMSELF DID NOT PICKUP and where legally disposed of. Let’s also remember that most of these items, including the camping gear, he stole from Lola,
So it can be proven in a court of law that the following line items are false and fraudulent:
3. Installation of Custom Blinds in Kanab. This is a false entry all around. There are no custom blinds in Kanab, UT. There are NO blinds in Kanab. The curtains in the bedrooms I hung myself. Certainly not a custom job. Check it out for yourself here.
No “custom blinds” anywhere:
And that is just a small sample of the issues with the Invoice. Proving him wrong with pictures and documentation will show that he is lying and will damage his credibility, which in the end is what I want.
Examples Of his Outrageous Pricing
He is delusional – his rates are higher than experts, ie. licensed electricians, plumbers, landscapers, etc..
The examples I am about to share are just a few of the many on the invoice. They say that Narcissists are transactional… so while I thought we were in a real relationship where we do things for each other and with each other, he was keeping track of everything “he did”. This invoice is the epitome of his keeping track and wanting compensation for things he offered to do as my boyfriend.
Here is a link to all the pictures of Lincoln Lane, the house in SLC I sold. I miss that house… I put a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and money into this house. It was my dream home. I would NEVER have sold it had I known who Trash really was. All he had to do is tell me he found someone else. But he didn’t, because he wanted money. And I think his response to the Civil Suit proves it.
And again, he would never be able to prove this was a valid invoice – he never presented this or any invoice to me while we were dating, and there is not a single text message, voicemail, or anything that would substantiate his claim.
This is just another way Trash uses the system, lying directly to the courts, and making the victim, me, prove that he is lying. Its just insane.
$4670 for a New Front Lawn
At the SLC home (Lincoln Ln), I wanted to have my regular landscaper to update the sprinkler system, level out the front yard, and lay new seed. The estimate was for $3000. Trash said they were “taking advantage of a single woman” and said we could do it. Yes, he put the plan together.. but did not listen to me when I had concerns. I’m OCD, and the sprinklers were put in the wrong place, causing the lawn to die in certain areas. He also did not level out the yard, which I kept asking about/wanted to do – but he said it would even out … of course it didn’t, so spring came and it was bumpy and lumpy, causing water to pool in places and other places (the mounds) the grass died… It was a horrible job, but I didn’t say anything because I knew if I spoke up he would call me ungrateful. But it bugged me BIGLY. The invoice includes the following for our work – a total of $4670. So $1,670 MORE than an expert. AND I had to incur the extra expense of renting a back hoe, purchasing mulch, seed, sprinkler parts, etc.. All of which was included in the experts $3k estimate.
Here is what I could have gotten if I paid the $3000 – Left picture is of the backyard that was professionally done. Vs. what I paid $1370 MORE for that Trash delivered. I think it is very clear which option most humans would select.
$770 to Cut Brick Wall Cut for Sliding Door
This is another perfect example of work at the SLC Lincoln Ln house. I had found an expert that cuts brick/cement for a living. He gave me an estimate of $200 to cut the brick out (two vertical 5 foot cuts) and remove the debris. This is what was required to get the new sliding glass door in the master bedroom installed. I was fine with paying this, seemed fair to me. Trash again said this expert was taking advantage of me, a single woman… so he offered to do it himself. What does Trash think HE deserves for this small job? $770. – $570 MORE than an expert. FYI – the job took him maybe an hour, and probably 3 hours total if you include the time to run to Home Depot to pick up and return the saw required to cut the brick. I had additional expenses that are not included in his estimate – I paid for for the saw rental, for a new blade (which was expensive!), AND the removal of the debris. None of these additional expenses would have been incurred IF we had just left it to the expert. So all in all, having Trash do this job, at his prices and the extra expenses by NOT having the expert do it, costs me an extra $800-$900. Ridiculous-ness.
$285 to Power Wash the Driveway
This one is good. Why? Because there was a local high school kid going around the neighborhood offering to power wash peoples driveway. I have a large driveway so he quoted me $100. I thought it was a good deal. Trash, however, did not. He offered to do it, so I purchased a power washer and he spent an hour power washing the driveway. Now he is invoicing me for 3 hours at $95/hour for a total of $285. Just pure rediculousness.
The driveway is large… but I would have MUCH rather hired the teen boy for $100 and NOT purchased a power washer… Again, just sharing the tip of the iceberg here.
The Mexico Condo
In true form, and as I outlined in Do Not Mingle Finances post, Trash finally publicly states his plan is to steal MY condo. Here is the “settlement offer” my lawyer and I received last week.
Option 1: Sell the property. I get my initial investment back (so he finally admits he didn’t pay a dime for the condo), but that we SPLIT the proceeds evenly. He does NOT mention that I paid for all repairs and that he collected all the rental proceeds. So basically, he wants to make money on my money.
Option 2: I buy him out. Essentially, I pay him $100k to go away. At least he finally admits, in black and white, what he is really about.
The entitlement is MIND BOGGLING.
Both options include dismissing the eviction judgement for $11,053.00(Evicting the Ex) AND release him from paying my legal fees of $3,932.50 in the OOP hearing he lost. In addition:
he wants me to pay for the legal fees I’ve incurred for the Civil Suit. We would NOT be here, both of us incurring legal fees, if he had just done the right thing from the beginning. The audacity.
He wants to control the sale of the condo – using his agents (oh hell no) and set the price (the market does that you dummy).
Lessons Learned
This situation has been tough. I feel like I’m stuck in limbo while all of this goes on. What I realized during this Civil Suit discovery phase is that it is going to take forever and I cannot put my life on hold. I need to learn to compartmentalize my life. Deal with this stuff when I need to. Focus on rebuilding my life and moving forward when I’m not dealing with this lawsuit. I am actively working on figuring this out now – what do I want to do with the rest of my life? What can I do now to inch forward and not let this situation stop me from moving forward and getting me down?
WARNING – This is a very long post…. its is a 2 day walk through of a horrible breakup with the lying, cheating ex-boyfriend, whom I’ve come to learn is a sociopathic narcissist. It is written 7 month post-breakup and in a journalistic format. Only truths and receipts here. I am doing this post for my Lawyer, who has asked me to put together a timeline of “how things came to light”.
Overview
So much about my “relationship” with Trash has come to light over the last 7 months. It is clear we were in two very different relationships – I was with him because I loved him, trusted him, and thought we wanted the same things – work hard for an early retirement, have a loving, committed relationship. He said he wanted these things and behaved in a manner that lead me to believe he wanted these things as well. But it was a con – He was mirroring me – I can only assume to con me out of my hard earned money. This has been the hardest for me to come to terms with – that everything he presented to me about himself and how he felt about me was false and fraudulent. I also still feel incredibly gullible for falling for it all… but my family and friends remind me, over and over again, that I was actively deceived and I could not have seen it coming.
You must know, first and foremost, that we had a relationship based on trust (or so I thought). We had agreed early on in our relationship that if either of us ever wanted out of the relationship OR met someone else that we wanted to pursue, we would be forthright and tell the other person. AT 50 years old, there is no reason to spend time and energy in a relationship with someone who does NOT want to be with you. We had 90 day reviews to make sure we were still on the same page. We shared what went well; what wasn’t working, and we made plans to do more of what was great and change the things that didn’t work for us. This is why it NEVER occurred to me he was lying, cheating, or living a double life. Long story short, while I was away, selling my house so we could live our lives together in Mexico like we had planned in late May 2022, I had absolutely no reason to doubt him:
we had this agreement,
we communicated daily,
we were still talking about our future together,
I was not aware of any new “special friend”‘s
With that said, this post is long and is divided into five parts:
So here goes… get some coffee, some wine, some snacks, cause here we go!
How I Discovered the Truth
I don’t even know where to begin. So much happened in the days between August 23rd and August 26th 2022. Three days is all it took to turn my world upside down. The amount of lies and gaslighting that happened is still mind-boggling to me. He kept badgering me to talk, but I knew nothing that came out of his mouth would be the truth so I kept the entire conversation in WhatsApp. And I’m glad I did because now I have proof of his depravity and active deception.
He came over to the Chandler house on August 23rd. I had driven a trailer full of stuff down from SLC (I had, after all, just sold my house and moved to Chandler). The trailer was sitting outside in the driveway (against HOA policy) because Trash’s car was in the garage. Trash was to supposed to remove his car from the garage before I arrived so I could put the trailer in the garage, but he didn’t do it. He told me he was in MX working (which was a lie). So on August 23rd he came over around 2pm-ish, walked inside without knocking, took a call with CPS, then went into the garage to get his car out of the garage. Once the car was out, he helped me back the trailer into the garage. After we completed this, we went inside to have dinner and go to bed. After dinner he sprung it on me that he was going to stay the night with his ex-wife… which is an unbelievable story. He also mentioned that he borrowed a mutual friends car…. and he also left green drink supplements at my house. These three things got me thinking… and so I began to do some investigating in the early morning hours of August 24th 2022.
Lie #1: Staying the Night with the Ex-Wife
Its not in the phone text below, but you can see below on 8/23/22 at 9:54pm he says “call me”. He had just left the Chandler house after telling me he was going to “spend the night at his ex-wife’s house“. I didn’t believe him. I called him – he told me not to worry, that I had nothing to worry about. He loved me, but that his son was NOT doing well and needed him. I called bullshit on this story. I have confirmed with his ex-wife that he did NOT spend the night at her house. She also confirmed that she doesn’t have a couch. SO he lied bigly.
Lie #2: The Borrowed Car
As you can see above, he tells me that he borrowed his friends car. I reached out to the friend. She got back to me a day later. He absolutely did NOT borrow her car –Whatever he did, I don’t care. There should be no reason to lie about this …. unless he was hiding something. Which he was.
Lie # 3: The Green Supplement Drink
Anyone who knows Trash knows he doesn’t drink anything but alcohol or water. So anyone with half a brain knows him drinking a green smoothie is a bold faced lie. “Its a cleanse and I wanted to try it” is just so ridiculous. This was when I stopped taking his calls.
His Own Comments with Mutual Friends
So given the lies above above, I was in a state of shock, but I knew there could be no good explanation for the lies. I didn’t care what he did, how he did it, when he did it. He lied to me – more than once. And no one lies unless they have something to hide.
Because I had an asset to protect, my Princesa B509 Condo, I needed someone to manage it while I sorted everything out (see how he is attempting to steal my Condo here) . She let me know that Trash had let her and her husband know that we had broken up and she was sorry to hear it. I said it was news to me and asked if she would be willing to take back over managing the condo. She said yes… Then I asked her what Trash had shared with her while I was away… Boy, it was a doozy. Here story was consistent with others that I spoke with. What came to light was:
Trash had told folks in my friend circle that we had broken up.
Trash was with Nurse NincomPoop (aka N’Poop) at a bar. A friend approached Trash to say hi and ask how I was doing. Trash told my friend that he didn’t know, that I was “three girlfriends ago“.
Another friend spotted him at a table for two at our “special place”, Pane e Vino, the very same place we had our 90 day review/conversation at the end of May. We discussed how hard it had been with his son living with us, but that HE still wanted to move forward together. We agreed on the next steps in our relationship (sell my SLC house, purchase property in MX and build a house, take the RV for a month long RV trip), etc..
So basically, while I was away, following through on our agreed upon plan, Trash found himself new supply. I was devastated…. I was in shocked to my very core. I was numb. I had yet to wrap my head around what I had just done – sold my personal residence in Salt Lake City Utah, packed up myself, my cats, and HIS DOG and traveled by myself from SLC to Chandler with a car and a trailer. I gave up a good life, a beautiful home, moved to a place where I knew NO ONE except for him, only to find out that the person I did all this for was a man-child who had zero integrity or moral compass, who purposely and actively deceived me for the entirety of our relationship.
His Denial and Gaslighting all via WhatsApp messages
So I moved off of text and onto Whatsapp for all communication starting August 24th 2022. I would not speak to him. I did not trust anything that came out of his mouth, I wanted everything in writing. And I’m glad I did that, and I would HIGHLY recommend you do the same thing, especially if you are dealing with a liar, cheater, manipulator, and/or a violet person.
WORDS OF WISDOM: If you ever find ourself in this position, NEVER take his calls. Narcissists and master manipulators are very good at gaslighting you into thinking that you are crazy. DO NOT TALK TO THEM while you are vulnerable. Let them explain themselves in text and take your time with your responses. Use your brain, not your heart.
Here is the exchange between us, with commentary, from August 24th – 26th 2022. Trash is on the left in Grey, I am on the right, in Green. These are the exchanges, what you must know was that I was in complete shock; my body was shut down, my mind was numb… I was so hurt, just devastated… and to feel this way and continue to hear him lie, over and over again was so traumatic.
So yes, once I found out he had a whole ass girlfriend, I removed him from all my accounts (credit cards, utilities, anything that we shared). He then says its “extreme” and I’m “f*king dumb” for doing this.. Really? WHO WOULDN’T DO THIS?
You will see in the next section that this is a clear lie… Trash and Nurse N’Poop) Facebook Relationship Status changed to “In a Relationship” 14 days PRIOR to this series of lies… on August 14th 2022. HE KNEW he was lying and he just kept on going...
SIDE STORY: On August 14th 2022, Trash asked his ex Lola for a blowjob AT Nurse N’Poop’s HOUSE in her Master Bedroom. Lola cleaned her house on Aug. 13th. Trash was unhappy with the deep clean (something about baseboards), had Lola return on the 14th. Now that the furniture was in the house, why not ask your ex-girlfriend for a blowjob in the new girlfriends master bedroom????
Yeah, met the girl of his dreams. Sure. (Insert eye roll emoji here).
So I begin asking him questions. If you do not have a new GF, then why the rumors? Because rumor has it he had been all over town with her, she stayed at the house we shared Costa Diamante, he stayed with her and her kids at the Princesa Condos, they visited “our” restaurants together… Here are the two days of WhatsApp transcripts full of his lies and gaslighting.
Umm, yeah, people can and did say different. Trash and Nurse N’Poop were all over Princesa the entire summer. As a matter of fact, when I got back into my B509 unit, there was viagra everywhere. I knew it was his… so he had the audacity to take her to MY CONDO…. just disgusting.
And this is where it gets ugly.. trying to get my phone number back from Trash. and him being “indignant” that I would accuse him of cheating with a “married woman”… NOTE: Nurse N’Poop filed for divorce late May 2022. So technically married yes, sleeping around while her divorce was moving through the court systems, also yes. How do I know – It’s public record.
Here it comes peeps, strap in.
Like dude, leave me alone. I said I never wanted to see you again. Do NOT come near me, ever again! Jees. A bit of history: while Trash was in Utah helping me move from July 27th through August 2nd, he purchased a car for me, a blue 2008 Audi Q8, a tire went flat….. I wanted to purchase the car on my own, but he insisted on buying it for me. I was just trying to get the flat fixed on a car that I thought was mine.
FYI – the rim was not messed up.
I’d really like to know who he thinks is “nobody” because everybody I knew in Mexico knew about Nurse N’Poop… The only person that did not know was ME!! So I must be the nobody he speaks of here.
In my above comment about “last weekend”, this was the weekend of Aug. 18th-22nd when we, we being Trash, myself, and his two sons, were to be at baseball games together. I later discovered he was NOT in Mexico and instead went to the games with Nurse N’Poop.
And here we go about getting the “real” story about Nurse N‘Poop. He had originally told me that he had “old friends” stay with him at our Costa Diamante house (by OUR I mean the fact that we lived there together, Trash absolutely is the sole owner wrt mortgage). What we know now, Nurse N’Poop was NOT an old friend, but a very new friend, that he did NOT mention to me, his current girlfriend.
I have since found out that he did post on Facebook as did Nurse N’Poop and her friends, but he was able to block me from seeing these photos. I have friends who began sharing these photos with me, so let’s just say, that he knew at the time I didn’t know how Facebook works, but I do now. He blocked me from seeing what he was doing, period. End of story.
Yes, let’s talk about the RV. I gave Trash $4000 to pay the RV guy. Trash did NOT give the RV guy his money. He kept it for himself. So I had to pay MORE money to get the RV back from the paint guy. Just more $$ that Trash stole from me.
Just highlighted above how he said he would never mess with my phone service. I wanted to take my phone line back, but he would not let me (wouldn’t call to approve it, wouldn’t give me the code to do it myself). And he is “that way”. Within 2 weeks he had my service shut off because I would not talk to him. You can read all about it here).
Trash claims Nurse N’Poopand all her friends knew about me, knew he loved me, and they like me (see the “Yes all of them like u“).. . I then ask for their contact details so I can confirm this. Because in a mature relationship, if they know about me, and they are “just friends”, shouldn’t I be aware of them as well?
So for those interested, here is a picture of Trash at the party with Nurse N‘Poop.. Canoodling was definitely had. She was his guest at the party. So he knows these pictures exist, he knows I have them, and he STILL denies it. SMH.
Seeking comment from my readers: I’d like to know how many of you would be o.k. with YOUR boyfriend entertaining a new lady friend that he has NOT told you about at a party where ALL of your friends are in attendance. Rumors are flying. He is very much enjoying himself with her. And I can guarantee you that if I showed up at a party with a new guy where all his friends were, he would go ballistic. It is the double standard of a cheater.
Also notice how its Justine’s fault because she was ONE of the multiple people who told me. Every one of our friends was at this party, not just Justine.
So I ask him above if he took Nurse N’Poop to Pane e Vino, which is our special place. He knew it was our special place, which is why I asked him. His response below is “f*&k no”…. which I know is NOT true based on the first hand account of a friend.
For whatever reason, Trash continues to blame Justine for his actions, never taking accountability for his behavior.
Please note the retaliation is real. Trash has made it his mission to constantly harass Justine and her husband since August 2022. He has publicly threatened her and her dogs, to the point she has filed a police report, added 24/7 security to her home, and faces his retribution on a weekly if not daily basis TO THIS DAY (Updated January 2024)..
The going gets good here. If his behavior is so innocent, I ask to speak to Nurse N’Poop… he loses it —
NOTE: That the exchange I share in the above WhatsApp message is a text exchange between Trash and a friend stating that we (he and I) agreed to not speak for 3 weeks. Which never happened. We never agreed to this, we spoke all the time. Like I mention in my comments to him is that I wanted/needed to have deeper conversations with him but he didn’t make the time. For example, the Lehi house needed a new floor, we needed to talk about it. He wouldn’t make time for this conversation SO I MADE THE DECISION myself (which of course he didn’t agree with). I figured it out later it is because he was spending all his time with Nurse N’Poop.
These next sets of messages get to the heart of the matter. Where he finally admits that he is “friends” with Nurse N’Poop. What I know now, he began a relationship with Nurse N’Poop in June BEFORE we left Mexico for Utah. I don’t care when they started having sex. He began a new relationship with another woman and did not tell me about it 3 FOR MONTHS. If you can’t tell your partner about a new friendship, or you have to hide a relationship from your partner, that is cheating. Period.
FYI – that picture in the whatsApp is of Trash with Nurse N’Poop and her friends on Aug. 22nd which you can find below in the timeline. It’s the weekend he told me he couldn’t go to the game with me and his boys because he was in Mexico. Clearly he was not in Mexico, he was with his new supply.
And now its my fault – He is not the liar, I am the insecure one – umm hmmm, gaslighting at it finest.
Just want to make it very clear to everyone – finally, we agree that it’s over (above). This is August 25th at 9:44pm. A mere 11 days AFTER he and Nurse N’Poop make things official.
and on and on and on… until finally he admits to seeing Nurse N’Poop. And you know why I think he did this? Because I reached out to Nurse N’Poop myself to get the truth.. Did I get it from her? No, not really. Here is what I wrote her on Aug 25th 2022.
And here is when he finally admits to dating Nurse N’Poop – on August. 26th at 4:09 in the morning.
I wrote Nurse N’Poop back, thanking her for her help. And that was the end of the communication with the floozie. She never wrote me back. I never reached out to her again. I did have to block her after she publicly stated untruths about me in the Facebook Group “Are we dating the same guy – Phoenix“. She clearly is not not a girls girl and has/had no intention of being mature about the situation she and Trash created.
I now understand that Nurse N’Poop knew Trash had a girlfriend and she didn’t care one bit. She could not have missed it when she stayed at Costa Diamante or the Chandler house – my stuff is all over the place. She is not a girls girl, not a girl who has another woman’s back. As far as I am concerned, they deserve each other.
The Cold, Hard Facts About His Double Life
At the end of the day, after 7 months, here is the timeline I’ve pieced together of the 3 months: June – August 2022.
June 8-12th 2022: they may have met sooner, but they definitely met at the Roger Clyne Circus Mexicus from June 8-11th 2022 at Banditos concert that started June 8th 2022. I remember Trash acting weird during the concert – he kept leaving me in the VIP area while he was hanging with friends near the bands… I finally went over to see what he was up to, and he disappeared into the crowd, leaving me alone (again). Then the entire weekend, he got up in the morning telling me he had to “go to work”, only to end up at Manny’s to party. I didn’t have a car and did not have a way to join him, which was probably exactly what he wanted (another isolation tactic). Guess who is no-where in the pictures of that weekend EVEN Though I was AT THE CONCERT?? Yep, me. So based on this post and what I’ve learned from friends, I believe he planned to be with Nurse N’Poop and the others.. and didn’t want me to get “in the way”…. SO this is one of the reasons I think he connected with her prior to this weekend.
June 24th 2022 – he made her an admin of his FB Keepers and Creepers group. He would not let go control unless they were “close”. He did this while he was with me in Kanab UT, on our 8 week trip to move me down to Mexico. I still had no idea this “just a friend” existed. All of a sudden, June 24th, he got a big project in MX and had to leave Kanab to head back to MX on June 25th 2022. It was a lie- he was heading back to spend the July 4th weekend with little miss Nurse N’Poop. It’s all just so clear now. He lived a double life and I was the sucker for trusting him, supporting him so he could live his dream of building a business down in Mexico.
July 4th weekend –Nurse N’Poop and her friends stayed in our MX Costa Diamante house… not “old friends” as Trash had told me. Didn’t she and others find it strange that all my stuff was there, in the master bedroom?!! They partied all weekend together… Makes me sick to my stomach to think she rummaged through my stuff and HE allowed it.
July 2022 – He blocked off my Chandler house the entire month of July. Told me it was too Hot in MX and that he wanted to spend time with his kids…. Instead, he hosted a “Singles Party” on July 10th with Nurse N’Poopand a few other other ladies. He charged the entire party on my credit card (over $600 in booze and food). Look at the dates — July 10th to be exact — Trash was texting me that he loved me and sending me pictures of him with his family, having dinners at my place, telling me he was going to bed early….
he made absolutely no mention that his “new friend” Nurse N’Poop was staying at my house OR that he was using my house to host singles parties.
Clearly his intention was to deceive me about what he was doing. No way would I have allowed him to have a pool party AT MY HOUSE with his nasty ass girlfriend.
Rumor has it that Trash and Nurse N’Poop were talking about moving in together – into MY HOUSE. She was there long enough for my address to be registered to her name. I STILL get mail for her at the house (It’s now December 2023).
August 14th 2022 – The day they decided to mark the beginning of the relationship. Now they didn’t do it on this day, they waited until the day after the 2nd breakin to publicly share their relationship status on FB. On Sept. 14th both Trash and Nurse N’Poop changed their relationship status to “in a relationship” with each other, but back dated it to August 14th 2022. I do not think his “in a relationship” FB status as of August 14th is random. It is most likely the 90 day mark as too when they started officially “seeing each other”, however they defined it, in early June. Which makes sense to me, because that was the weekend of the Circus Mexicus concert at Banditos (June 8th-12th) where Trash was behaving very odd.
So many lies….. it truly is hard to comprehend how many lies he told.
August 22nd 2022 – Tells me he is in Mexico working, which is why we could NOT go to the Baseball games with his sons. But really he is actually in Arizona with Nurse N’Poop. celebrating god knows what.
September 14th 2022 – the day their FB relationship status changed to be “IN a relationship”. 24 hours AFTER he broke into my Condo. They back dated their relationship to August 14th 2022.
And the rest is history. The section above shares with you what happened on August 23rd moving forward. So yes, I I learned about Nurse N’Poop. on August 24th/25th. But clearly there was a lot more going on behind my back prior to me discovering their affair.
Which leads me to the next section… Read on and learn from my mistakes folks.
Summary & Lessons Learned
Having had 7 months to recover from the shock of it all, look back at inconsistencies, have friends and acquaintances share tidbits of info… slowly but surely the truth came out and is what I’ve shared is all I know at this point.
Lesson learned: The truth will always come to light. The goal is to leave after the first offense/sign of disrespect because:
They most likely have been doing it over and over and over, they just got caught this time.
Narc’s love to be friends with their ex’s and always have multiple FWB’s hanging around. Narcs love to keep their ex’s around as backup…. I learned this the hard way…. Trash has a lot of ex/FWB friends he hooked up with while we were together.. this is above and beyond the strangers he would find to bang AND in addition to Nurse N’Poop. He is a walking STD/STI.
Things can and will never be the same once trust is broken.
If you have made it this far, congratulations. You have probably been through something similar and have spent a lot of time dissecting it in and effort to understand what happened and move on.
Final Words of Wisdom
IF you are in a relationship with a sociopath, narcissist, master manipulator, gaslighter, liar, and/or cheater: get out the first time they show you who they are. If you do not they will hurt you over and over again… It took me finding out about this one girl to leave. But since I’ve been out of the relationship, I have learned that there were plenty of other women he was with besides Nurse N’Poop. Outside of what I’ve shared above:
He had an ongoing affair with his ex, Lola. Sex in my house, sex in hotel rooms, sex in Mexico, wined and dined her both in Mexico and in Arizona. You name it, they did it. He told her I was a “business transaction” and that they would get back together when he was done with me.
His truck was never in the driveway of our house in Mexico when I was away on business. He never spent the night at our house when I was not home. He was out at the bars, picking up randoms when I was out of town, taking them to his Condo or Mirador Townhouse.
Sometimes he would “work late”, but was not really working… He was actually at his condo, mere blocks away, using the owners hot tub and his condo as a “f*&k pad” while I was AT HOME TAKING CARE OF HIS SON.
There are his FWB gals that he hooks up with – he had 2-3 that I am now aware of. I’ll be writing on this topic soon.
Lastly, there are all the vulnerable women he preys upon in his FB Groups (Keepers and Creepers and Chandler Arizona Adventures). He loves single women going through tough divorces… so he can swoop in and look like a hero for installing locks, Ring doorbells, and hanging TV’s. But in reality he is just a predator stroking his ego at someone else’s expense.
So let this be a lesson to you all that the best course of action is to BE DONE the first time you find out your partner/significant other has strayed – because you can be guaranteed that you did NOT catch him the first time.
When you find out something that breaks a boundary. Leave. It WILL NEVER GET BETTER. And once you leave, you will discover a lot more, and from what I’ve learned from the experts, what you actually learn about is only 10% of what truly went on. So if the above is only 10%…. I can only imagine what else will come to light during the civil suit discovery and trial.
Narcissists have a grandiose sense of entitlement — They think the world owes them and they will steal, lie, cheat to get what they feel should be theirs. True to his character, Trash is a thief.
So what has been stolen? Basically everything of worth. Trash left some of his used furniture for me to dispose of (story for another time), and took all the items of value, which of course where mine.
This story will just be about the artwork ,which totals about $6,300. This is artwork that I purchased while living in Salt Lake City, Utah. I moved it to Chandler on Aug. 17th 2022 and hung it up over the weekend of August 20th with my best friend Katie. The other stolen items will be new stories (its a series peeps!).
Trash took my things not because he liked it; the opposite, he didn’t like it. He made of fun of it. But he knew that I love it, that it took me a long time to curate the collection. And that is why he stole it — because I loved it.
Here is just some of the items, displayed beautifully at my home in Salt Lake City, UT. You can see all of the items he stole here.
Pictures of some of the Stolen Items
Trash told the police that he made the purchases while we were in business together. Which of course is not true. As of now the Police will not do anything — it has to be resolved in Civil Court (story for another day).
I know where some of the artwork is — it’s at Nurse NincomPoop’s (Nurse N’Poop for short) house. As I am not 100% sure as I do not have video evidence, but would wager that the other items such as patio furniture, outdoor umbrellas and cafe lights, the locks, the wifi enabled landscape timer, etc. are all there as well. What a sweet fella to give his new girlfriend stolen items.
How do I know? Because Trash thinks he is above the law and posted pictures of it on Facebook. You bet I submitted the information the police. What did he do? Posted a joke Facebook Story about art… You can watch it here.
I have named Nurse N’Poop in the supplemental reports as a person in possession of stolen goods.
Below is the proof I submitted to the Chandler Police.
Set of Two Prints — Neutral Modern Art
Trash has been posting Facebook Stories and the stolen artwork is clearly hanging up at N’Poop’s house.
First supplemental report filed with the Chandler AZ Police # (police report # redacted as to not reveal Trash’s true identify). The evidence came from a Story Trash posted on Facebook. Full video here.
Artwork at my SLC UT home vs. at Nurse N’Poop’s house:
And the receipt for the art, I purchased, in October of 2021 —
Wait, there is more.
One of a Kind — Paris Street Scene
I purchased this in 2010 while visiting a friend in Paris. It’s one-of-a-kind / irreplaceable. He was dumb enough to post another video with more of my artwork hanging up at the new girlfriend’s house.
Second supplemental report filed with the Chandler AZ Police # (police report # redacted as to not reveal Trash’s true identify). The evidence came from a Facebook Story Trash posted. I do not have the full video.
Artwork at my SLC UT home vs. my artwork at Nurse N’Poop’s house:
So, what have I learned from this experience?
That a narcissist believes that what is yours is theirs; your stuff now equals their stuff and their stuff still equals their stuff . Such a huge sense of entitlement. I mean he didn’t just steal from me, he stole from the previous ex Lola – stories here: Lola and here: I met the ex girlfriend — she is NOT crazy; she is absolutely lovely . He also stole from Betsy, I found the items after clearing the house out after the eviction. Apparently it’s just the way they are – Spiritualwhistleblower on TikTok speaks the truth here.
That the police are pretty much useless in these situations. I can prove that we were not in business together, that these items were purchased by me with my credit card, some of them before I met Trash. They don’t care.
The court system is set up for criminals to crime. I’m convinced the hoops a victim/survivor is required to jump through is means to discourage them to push forward and fight for what they deserve — Justice.
I have filed a Civil Suit — for fraud/deception (for lying about the funds for the condo) , theft (my art (this article) and other stuff), as well as damage done to the Chandler house (more on this later). I will not give up until what is mine is returned to me.
Paula's Ponderings 