PaulasWorld

Sophie’s Back!

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Sophie is back.  What a huge relief.   In the 4+ years I’ve had her, she has never roamed away.  I guess I will never know how she made it as far as she did.
Here is how finding her happened.  At 2:17 am this morning, I received a call (which I didn’t hear or pick up). When I woke up I noticed the call and listened to the message. A guy named Joshua said he was outside smoking a cigarette and Sophie came out of the bushes, meowing at him.  He said he would keep her until he heard back from me.

I called him at 9am, it went to his voice mail.  I guess anyone up at 2:17am smoking a cigarette isn’t necessarily a morning person (not that 9am is early)..  Anyway, he called me back around noon, gave me his address, and I immediately hopped in the car to pick her up.  I was very surprised how far she had gotten.  She ended up a mile or so away from the house, in a slim-shady neighborhood, on a street next to the freeway.

I was soo happy to see her.  She was happy to see me.. we laughed, we cried..  When I got home, I locked the cat door so she couldn’t get out.  She was behaving very strangely, walking around the house with a loud yowl type meow.  She couldn’t/wouldn’t settle down.  She finally did, and the picture you see is her baby, the other cat, loving on her, taking care of her.  So cute.

But here is the thing. How did I find her?  Her collar and a good samaritan.  I have cloth collar with her name and my number sewn into the collar (so there are no tags).   Someone saw the number on her collar and called.  Its as simple as that.    Here is everything I did to find her:

  • Collar – $15 about 2 years ago
  • Craigslist.org – $0 to post a missing pet add
  • SPCA – $0 – filed a missing pet report in person.  You also had to go back in-person to look for your pet.
  • UPS Store – $35 – to make 50 color flyers to hang up all over the neighborhood.
  • PetAmberAlert.com – $50 – First, it took them 24 hours to get a draft of a missing pet flyer to me.   The flyer they created was hideous so I changed it. Couldn’t do it online, I had to do it myself and then send them the pdf.   They posted it and send out the poster to neighboring businesses. However, they have yet to send me a list of everyone they sent the poster to…. Secondly, I have no way of marking my pet “found” and I have no idea what they do .. if anything, to alert people that the animal has been found.
  • Findtoto.com – $85 – for them to call 500 people within a mile radius of me.  Again, these folks will not send me a list of folks they called.  One good note is that there is a way to mark your pet as “found” on this website.  This website is so much easier to use and their turn-around time is immediate.  May not have helped me find Sophie, but doing it felt good, I felt like I was doing something and that someone was out there wanting to help me (unlike PetAmberAlert.com).

I think the best thing to do for any pet at this point, is to have a collar with a phone number on it (vs. dangling tags), insert a chip into the cat (wish it had GPS capabilities so I can look online at her location when she goes missing), and make flyers ON YOUR OWN and hang them up around the neighborhood.   As far as finding a lost pet,  I would definitely not pay for PetAmberAlert.com again.   If Findtoto.com could offer some additional services (like the flyer/business alert service at PetAmberAlert), they would rock.  Overall, I dont feel I got much value of either site, and because they aren’t able to tell me exactly what they did, It feels like a scam.

O.k. thats it for me tonight.  The cats are home safe, the pet door is locked, and I’m am exhausted.   I have more to write about all sorts of things, but that will just have to wait until tomorrrow.

Sophie’s Missing.

PaulasPonderings1 Comment

My heart just hurts.. I cannot focus on anything. My little girl has been missing since Friday night.  She came home for dinner…  went out, and hasn’t returned.  I’m just beside myself.

I’ve created flyers and posted them all over the neighborhood. I called the SPCA and they aren’t open today (its Easter).  I’ve posted and paid for automated calls to the neighbors via findtoto.com. my baby is missing, It’s raining like mad here… no one has called me.. where is she?!?

I have a big demo tomorrow, and I cannot think of anything by my darling girl.  I’m struggling to keep the tears back, I have zero interest in software at the moment.

Please send well wishes my way – I want my baby home safe and sound and I’ll take all the well wishes I can get!

Connecting Family and Friends.

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One very good way to get out of a funk is to help others.

I did a fun thing today – I went to my best friends mothers house to set up a wireless network and help setup a new computer.   It was so much fun for me.  Her excitement about “getting connected”, to be able to email her family and friends from wherever they travel.

I love being around folks that are excited about technology, that want to use it to connect with people.  I have so much patience when the folks I’m helping are alive with energy, excited about “new stuff”, and clearly appreciative of just a bit of help.  With my help, she is now connected with her family – her kids… the most important part of her life.

So, now I’m home, on a Saturday night working on a demo. But its all worth it because I had a fabulous day today.

NAFTA.

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No political statements tonight, just some good fun.

My favorite episode of Family Guy is on – Its the one with Peter and Bill Clinton, its called Bill and Peter’s Bogus Journey.  Its hysterical…  but the funniest lines are as follows:

Bill Clinton: Hey, you up for a little NAFTA?
Lois Griffin: What’s that?
Bill Clinton: ‘Nother Afternoon F**king That Ass!

Honestly, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about these lines in some way, shape, or form.  The way I think of this scene is probably along the same lines of how many times a guy thinks about sex… ALL THE TIME.  I can’t help it, it just pops into my head.

Anyway, for those of you who have not seen this episode, watch it, it is truly a classic.  BTW, the episode you can purchase on iTunes DOES NOT include this line, I dont know why. Its only on the TV and DVD version..

Mid-Week Status.

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So, I’ve been busy lately. Yes,  I WAS feeling sorry for myself, but as I mentioned in my last blog,  I’m over that. The pity party is ooovvvvveerrr.

I have dedicated myself to my fitness goals – I am a full week into working out every day. 7 days of doing something.  I signed up for a personal trainer and am doing resistance training to “lose the jiggle”.  My birthday is in 5 weeks – I’m shooting for a 10lb loss.  Its possible if I exercise every day, cut back on what I eat, and if need be, temporarily stop drinking.

A friend of mine referred me to the GM diet – thats right, the General Motors Weight Loss Diet.  A couple friend of mine said they do it every year, and use it to cleanse and get them back on track (meaning lose the winter lbs and get ready to expose their gorgeous, lean bodies during the warm summer months in Northern California). They are both lean and mean… look awesome in bathing suits (I saw pictures from their latest body revealing vaca – awesome!).

So, at some point in April, I’m going to do the GM diet.  I think its completely doable, and if it will help me shed the unwanted/unneeded lbs, well then that is part of the answer. I’m doing everything else as I should be…. why not add a bit of extremism to the mix?

If anyone has other suggestions please let me know.  My birthday is in early May so I have 5 weeks from this blog entry to “make it happen”.  I’m looking forward to the challenge, I will let you all know how it goes!!

Pity Party Is Over.

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Survival lately has seemed like a struggle.  I have strived for the very best, but right now, it seems like I’m asking for too much. Sometimes I wished I could just compromise.. and let go, cut corners, be the same as everyone else.   I wonder if I’m just expecting too much…  and should just let go of what I want/need (safe housing, loving and paticipative partner, fantastic lover, etc. ) and get what I can. 

As of right now, my pity party has lasted exactly 6 full days.  I’ve been walking around, all depresso, feeling sorry for myself.  It will be a week this Wednesday.  I’m not one for a pity party, so i’m getting sick of myself (its as if I am starting to stink.. you know?).    If I were my friend I would have lost patience on Friday…

So, just like My List (of charming attributes) I’ve created a Contract with Myself  (and of course posted it for all to see) remind myself of what is reasonable to want/need and what I need to focus on.  a list to remind me of what kind of person I want to be.  My depresso attitude is frankly, boring me right now.

I have had reached my limit of cocktails for this evening (yes, I know, bad grammer, but it goes to show that I have indeed have had too much to drink), so I’m heading to bed early.  I’m focused on making tomorrow and all the following days better.  I realize that there are many others that are better off than I am….  and as envious as I am of the rich, beautiful, and gifted, I do have all my limbs and I’m NOT living in Afganistan right now… these are things to be grateful for.

Housing Frustrations.

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I’ve done a small bit of financial organization this year.  Now that the market has “cooled” here in the Bay Area, I would like to own a litte casa of my own.  Just a small place for me and the cats to settle in.

Being the planner that I am, I went to a mortgage broker to pre-qualify, so I would know what I can search for/afford.  Well, guess what?  A) I dont make as much money as I have in the past, and b) The reporting laws on rental properties has changed.  I CANNOT even afford to live in Little Mexico next to the freeway.  Thats right.  Thanks to all the folks who did zero down on multiple properties, they have changed the way they “estimate” a lendees income and expenses on rental properties…   In addition, my income has gone down the last 2 years…  I’ve not made much money (took a pay cut for upside opportunities at the new company… which has never panned out).

This happened last Wednesday, and I’ve been stewing about it ever since. I’m frustrated for several reasons:

  • That I dont have enough income to qualify for more than a fixer upper in a bad neighborhood.
  • That a break-even rental property would hinder my ability to purchase a primary residence (on that I put 20% down on and still shows its worth more than is owed on it).

I am a responsible person with very little debt, and I CANNOT afford to purchase a condo, much less a townhouse, and I can completely forget owning a home ….    unless, of course, i want to live in a unsafe neighborhood just mere blocks from the freeway. Check this out, one of the few houses in my price range:  http://www.redfin.com/CA/San-Mateo/205-S-Humboldt-St-94401/home/1675784 

Yes, I have considered moving to an area where housing costs are more reasonable, but given the divorce, I really want/need to be close to my friends. Otherwise, I would literally NEVER get out of the house.  So my choices are to continue to rent in an area that I feel safe and is close to my friends, OR if I want to own, I will have to move out of the Bay Area entirely.  Bums me out that there is no in-between.  I’ve had a bit of a pity party these last few days about it….

I’m cranky… really cranky about it.  but I’ll find a way to fix it.  Even if it means continue to rent for another year and save more money, selling the rental property in a down market.   I’m still looking at options right now…  these are two potential ideas that are not that appealing.

Sigghh.

My Reclusive Years.

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I had lunch with a friend last week, a very good friend.  I have known him for years, since college.  He and I moved to San Francisco at the same time and have always stayed friends.  He is fantastic… 

Anyway, at lunch, he asked me if I was out of my reclusive period yet.  I laughed, but he is/was right.  I’ve not reached out to many people in two years.  My layoff/seperation was two years ago. My divorce became final a year ago (thanks to the persistent work of The Ex).  I’ve not gotten out much, even with close friends.  I have stayed home, removed myself from the world and all its goings-on, so that I could recover.

I do not love lightly.  I fall and fall hard.  I give it my all.  To me, for me, relationships are the most important aspect of life.  The people that you take care of, that take care of you, NOT out of obligation, but because of geniuine care and concern for that persons well-being – that is priceless.  I do talk about this a lot because I could not have made it thru these last few years without my friends. I can name a 1/2 dozen folks who I can attribute my recovery to.  I thank god everyday that I have these folks in my life. 

Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about this one phrase, “the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less”.  In my marriage, I did not have the power, I had the exact opposite.  Zero power.  So why is it, that the person with the power, does nothing with it?  Now I want to be the one with the power.. but to care, to love, is to give up the power. To take risks.  Of all things to take a risk on, isn’t love the best one?

I still am in shock how absent my EX really was, how many other relationships he had while we were married, how he said he wanted to still be married while carrying on with others.  The person he bacame.  I was fooled, fooled in a big way.  Not that I’m a victim, I knew things weren’t right, butI didn’t want to give up.  My partner had already given up and moved on.  So why would he do what he did? Why would’t he just move on?

 I think I have been reclusive because, honestly,  I just dont want to get hurt again.   Playing it safe, not putting myself out there, boxing myself into a ‘persona’ if you will, the Crazy Cat Lady….  its been safe and comfortable. Keeps me in the power seat…

For whatever reason, it hit me last week – I’m alone.  Not lonely, just alone.  I have begun thinking about what its going to take to meet someone, to have someone around that wants to be with me, where we have fun, laugh a lot, and in general, enjoy each others company.  The thought is a bit overwhelming, but it has now entered my realm of possibility.  I think that things happen for a reason – that your brain lets you think about things that you can/are able to contemplate….

At the very least, I know of some folks that will be happy to see me again.

Weight Watchers Is A Scam.

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So,  I do feel badly about this.. but thought those of you in my boat would understand (those trying to lose weight and struggling with it).

I go to Weight Watchers every Friday for my weigh in.  I have been completely dedicated to my weight loss – tracking the food I’m eating, working out once, if not 2x a day…  I’m ON IT. The scale – the WW scale – showed I gained weight.

I asked the very nice 60+ year old woman who had the unfortuante responsibly of performing my weigh-in on Friday, how in the world was weight gain possible on her scale, but showed weight loss on all other scales I use (and use regularly I might add).  I had gone to the doctor and was weighed-  a great number.  My home scale showed almost a full pound of loss…   and the WW scale… weight gain.   I went WWF on her (in a calm, but very focused way).  Its so frustrating – how is it possible?  I asked her about the scale…  and how its possible that every scale in my life shows positive results…. EXCEPT WW.

She had no answer…. just stammered on about results are not always what we expect…  I was so mad my friend walked me out of there and talked me off the ledge.  Its been 48 hours since the weigh in, and I have decided to cancel membership.  I’m doing all the right things – and I would prefer to put the cost of my weight watchers membership towards my new gym membership.

So, I’m sure others feel differently – my mom is having tremendous success.  Its all about portion control for her. For me, it’s portion control AND exercise.  I want to be stronger, get healthy.    I’m running, i’m stretching and strength training.. …    and I’m loving the gym membership. 

All those that have reached out to me about similar goals – I hope you all are doing well and making progress!!

A Scare.

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So I had a fabulous day today – it was a great “life in California day”.. sunny, warm, beautiful…  you could not ask for anything more.  On top of it, friends call me and ask me over for dinner…  Honestly, life doesn’t get any better.

But on my way home, I’m driving, in my euphoria, and an animal darts across the road.  My heart stops beating and I slam on the brakes.  I’m ready to swerve into parked cars…  and I realize why: this animal looks just like my Sophie.  My cat.  She is short haired, spotted and striped, not so thick around the middle like a racoon… but still, very close.  I realize at the last minute that its a racoon… but my heart is already racing.

My heart, my head, all think that something is happening to ‘my kid’.  I have all the responses of danger…   but in the end I realize that its just a raccoon.  Just a raccoon I say… and I feel bad – Raccoons are struggling to live, make a living, do their thing in growing, expanding suburbia…  and then I remember.. I hired an “exterminator”” to remove Raccoons from “my property”.

First, I rent, do not own. So my feelings of ownership have completely to do with responsibility, not true ownership. Secondly, the safety of “my babies” is numbero uno.  I would not have eradicated  the raccoons IF they had not come into the house, disturbing the peace inside the home.

I guess my point is, I feel as if I almost ran over my very own child – even though my child is a cat AND the actual animal was a raccoon that I paid a pretty penny to remove from a space that a) i dont own, and b) I can’t even begin to “own”…

In the famous words of Paula… “la la la la  …. la la la … la la la”..