Life is Full Of Lessons.

a-lesson-will-repeat-itself-until-learnedI’m spending a lot of time by myself, thinking through my relationships, the meaning of life, and trying to wrap my head around what it all means.

I’m lucky that I have a lot to focus on at work during the week.  I’m working hard – really working at changing my career for the better.  It’s been harder than I expected.  I just got my performance review back, a 360 degree review.  I’m struggling with some feedback, it is opposite of what I expected, and opposite of what I thought I’d discussed with my manager during the hiring process. I’m thinking hard about what I plan to do about the review and what it means for my career. I am NOT going to seek for approval or acceptance for an unlimited time period.  I will give myself a few weeks to work through the feedback, discuss my thoughts with my manager, and set my boundaries.I’m no longer willing to give without getting.. At the end of the day, I need to define the amount of time I’m willing to give before I get what I want.

Which leads me to what I’m really after.  I’m not willing to wait around for someone else to tell me what I’m worth. My job is to define my worth and let others know what that is.  I set my currency value.  I’ve never done this before – and looking back, reflecting on my past relationships, I realize how much power I have given up both at work and at home.  I don’t mean power in the way of control, but power in the sense of defining the things that are important to me, communicating the things I need and want from others.

This is a very big revelation for me.  I am disappointed that I didn’t learn this lesson from my first big relationship loss, or the end of my marriage… and that it actually took a total of 4 failed relationships to learn it.  But hey, at least I’m learning it now.  Knowledge is power, and is the first step in change.

Soooo, here I am. With a new found revelation.  I love it. It’s time for change, and I’m all for it.  Have any of you read the book How People Change?  I read this in college and I think about it all the time. The lesson I learned from the book – that awareness is the first step to making a difference, a real change.  There is a lot of work ahead to make my new found perspective a reality. But I know how to do it. So I’m on my way.

Advertisements

One thought on “Life is Full Of Lessons.

  1. Herald Spain March 10, 2015 / 9:45 pm

    Paula,

    You have come to a new portion of the journey that is your life. Some times you need to travel west if you want to end up heading south. (An old nautical phrase) It seems to fit in this case.

    Measuring your self by those at work and in your life are not always the truest guide to a goal. More likely the best to thier goal.

    This is just the beginning of what could be an amazing new volume in your unfolding life.

    Much luck and be well H.S.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.