In April, it will be a full year since I’ve seen or heard from My Mr. Big. I can’t believe it. A FULL Year. I never thought it was possible, us not being together, now its been a full year since we’ve had any contact.
As far as I know he hasn’t tried to reach out to me. I’ve wanted to respect his privacy and wishes, so I’ve only thought about him.. except one time. I did send him a Happy Birthday email on his birthday in December.. no response.
Crazy how life changes. How you can go to thinking that someone will always be there for you, with you.. and another minute, they are gone, gone forever. I’ve always believed that life can change in an instant… this experience is no exception.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wonder what happened to him, wonder where he is, if he is happy, why he chose to stop all contact.. But as a dear friend tells me, its my lot in life to wonder about things that I will never learn the answer to. We are thinkers, wanderers, my friend and I, destined to roam this earth wondering about things beyond our control…
I did and do love him, My Mr. Big.. always will. He brought such joy to my life, gave me a new perspective on life and love… I was lucky to be with him, even if just for the short time that we shared together. I do miss him…
Paula's Ponderings 
Well Paula, the first year is the hardest I will say My Mr. Big still haunts the back of my mind on the odd occasions but less with the passage of each day. Your friend is correct, the answer is There is no answer as to why.
Remember the good, cherish the the love you still feel for him without hoping for it to return. As I recall you have a very nice man in your life who makes you cry with joy. That’s better that a lot of people ever get.
Be well H. S.
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