Here Today Gone Tomorrow.

Thank  you to all who have written to me about Mr. Showtime and his disappearing act.  Seems like everyone has gone through a situation similar to this, man or woman..  We all seek answers when this happens, but there are actions people take that just don’t make sense.

Anyway, I’m flying home from Chicago as I post, on a Virgin America flight (best airline in the world people!!).  Since I have wireless, a computer, power, and wine at my fingertips, I thought I’d write…. give a quick update, provide a few more details on why this particular situation, Mr. Showtimes’ disappearance is so strange.

  • Time Together – we are both busy individuals, so although we were talking or texting frequently, we were only able to see each other a couple of times a week.  Sometimes it was during the week, sometimes it was the weekend.  We were not rushing into something (at least I didn’t think so)…  I thought the amount of time together was perfect – enough to keep wanting more.  🙂  We just made a point to enjoy the time we were able to spend with each other.
  • Sex – some of you suggested it might be because he got sex that he disappeared.  We had been having GREAT sex for 4 weeks, and it just kept getting better and better.  We talked about this, and how getting to know someone mentally, physically, and emotionally really makes for great intimacy.
  • Self Awareness – he seemed much more self-aware than most men I’ve met.  He seemed to understand that communication was key to a good relationship, that to be in a healthy, happy relationship, each person had to be healthy and  happy.  He had spent time thinking about what he wanted in his life, setting goals for himself, and actively working to achieve his goals.
  •  Consistent – Before he stopped calling/texting, his actions always matched his words… he said what he did, did what he said.  There was zero inconsistency in his interactions with me.

He has a demanding job and is a very active father of 3 grown kids (18, 20, 22).  Because he is busy AND has great qualities, I had originally thought that something was wrong – that he had become gravely ill, that something had happened to his father (who had stopped by for a visit AND “has limited time on this earth”)…..  And maybe this is still the case, I don’t know.  BUT, if a friend knows you are concerned and you don’t call/text them back… well, that isn’t a good friend. Certainly not someone you keep in the “inner circle” for long.

So I am sad, it’s a sad situation.  I did see potential….  so I have had a heavy heart this week while in Chicago.  I even turned down and evening out with colleagues on Monday so I could “work on my demo”, a.k.a.  have a pity party and post to my blog.  I liked him.. we definitely connected.  But alas it wasn’t meant to be…. if it was, we would still be communicating.

What I do know is that he left a few items at my house (on purpose – because he planned to come back) AND I left my eye pillow at his house and I need to get it back.  My thought is to send him his things along with a SASE and a note stating “please return the eye pillow. Greatly appreciated” and leave it at that. 🙂

3 thoughts on “Here Today Gone Tomorrow.

  1. thatprecariousgait October 28, 2011 / 2:03 am

    Okay, well that shoots my theories all to hell. 😦 Damn. I just don’t understand why people think it’s okay to behave that way. Seriously. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being in the market for a serious, committed relationship,but if that’s what you’re looking for, then just say it, right? And give the other person a chance to decide if what you want is what they want, too.

    I wrote this post about men who disappear. It’s enormously frustrating but it seems to have happened to every single woman I know — and I know some pretty amazing women!

    Good luck to you and know that all the decent folks moving through the world are on your side and rooting for you. 🙂


  2. Separated Dad October 27, 2011 / 6:20 pm


    With this additional info, I’m sorrier than ever that this worked out so badly. I really don’t get it. Honestly, a part of me wants to ask for this guy’s name and phone number, and call him and simply ask, “Why did you leave? And why did you vanish?” I can’t see a reasonable explanation for this and a lack of reason is something I find troubling.

    My heart goes out to you.

    Cheers, SD.


  3. Herald Spain October 27, 2011 / 1:12 pm

    Paula I am sorry about this. As I have said he is pathetic for his actions and cowardess. You mentioned something I did not know. The age of his children and how much they take of his life. That would indicate to me that he had a complicated and involved prior life. Now he is single and aside from having a carrier is also a musician. Does he have a motorcycle? That would be the final red flag of a mid life crisis. Those guys are hooked on the idea of being a rolling stone, or a shark that has to keep on swimming.

    Maybe I am wrong about him and he is just scared and may come back tail between his legs and say sorry. I hope so but you will be weary no matter what. Don’t have a pitty party and do like Dory dose. “just keep swimming”.

    Be well H.S.


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