So, I’m sure your question is, what is this single, foot loose and fancy free woman writing about … salt free beans? What IS there to say about salt free beans????
Everything I tell you. I had a date tonight. Date #2 with a guy…(I don’t think he is going to be around enough to give him a nickname) my first date with him was last week, tonight was the second. He is cute enough… charming enough.. interesting enough. He is totally into me (which is flattering). He took me to what I consider the nicest place in the town – great food, great atmosphere, and it is not cheap. He didn’t dress up (I did, and I looked hot!!). All in all, it was a nice evening, certainly nothing to complain about.
But I have to say, I would take this evening and gladly trade it in for a year of salt-free bean dinners/evenings with my My Mr. Big. We would find recipes to experiment with …. enjoy each others company, talk, laugh.. have great sex. All things I miss dearly. I know that I’ve got to stop comparing potential candidates with the love of my past. Tonight I finally realized that I’m actively seeking someone to replace him… and nothing/nobody can do that. He was something special – we had something that just worked.
I get it – the goal is to find someone new….someone that is available, that is interested in spending time with me, AND that I’m interested in spending time with. I’ve not been able to do that yet….. Anyone have advice on how to do this?
So with that, I will bid you good night… and will write my next entry about the live bird the cats brought in 5 minutes before my date showed up….
Paula's Ponderings 
Oh Paula,
Look to your Greek History, they were always looking for signs before a battle. Your cat and the live bird before your date could not have been clearer. Your cat brought you a live prize to you. Not dead and chewed up. Your cat can change can you?
You need to try and let go of your ex. I am not one to say it will be easy, it will not. No one will ever be like him, you know that but I think you have a better vision of him than he does of himself. Some of what made you love the ex so much was the reflection of how wonderful he made you feel when you did just about everything.
Take a long hard look at yourself. Without the idea of the ex. Not bad? In the looks, brains, heart and soul department?
When you come to terms with that idea and can just be Paula not healing Paula then watch out for that guy. Try and stop comparing not only is it not fair to your dates but really it hurts you each time you do.
Be well H.S.
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Aww Paula, it’s hard not to compare. It’s totally hypocrytical of me to say to try and recognize the unique qualities of all your new suitors, but it just doesn’t work that way. In time, the comparisons will lessen and when you meet the ‘right’ one, there will be no comparisons at all. I promise you that. It just takes time…..
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