Flying Gods are NOT With Me.

O.k.. so The flying gods are not with me despite the well wishes from my fans!!   For “mechanical reasons” (overdue inspections), United has grounded quite a few flights…  I was not only NOT able to get on an earlier flight, I will consider myself extremely lucky to sit in a middle seat and get home as promised…  United committed to get me home by 10pm….  if they actually follow thru, I will be shocked .  We could all take head of the lessons that the airlines teach us —  set very low expectations and not deliver consistently. that way, when they actually do deliver once in a while, the “shock and awe” is good.   You actually get excited that they followed thru on something because it happens so rarely. 

All of you should know that I’ve done extremely well with my NOT drinking on the airplane (I know, why would I make this a NYR.. … I dont know, I just did it)…  Its been really hard, but I’ve followed thru.  For the first time I felt comfortable with the decision was on 2/13… flying to Boston this last trip.  It was the first time I didn’t salivate (if you will) for a cocktail.  I am in the preliminary steps of breaking a habit.. I’m so proud of myself.  So, when my family, friends, dates (ex husbands) suggest I drink too much, I will tell them, “but  I dont on airplanes!!!!!” . Yes, with that much enthusiasm…. 

O.k. so many “thoughts” are flying thru my mind while at the bar, a few of them include:

  • United Airlines.. you suck.  You basically over-promise and under-delive every single time. 
  • Customer Service Reps.. whether on the phone or in person, why, why, why do you join/be/stay in Customer Service if you dont like helping people (or people in general)??  I’ll never get it.  My advice – if you don’t like it, get out, you make this world a worst place to live in because you are so miserable. 
  • Why is the guy in front of me in grey/green scrubs?  Didn’t have time to change before a flight?
  • Men who wear rings, sit next to “hooker looking” girls at airport bars, and mention their wives..  really?  Hmmm…
  • Boston if cold… just plain cold. Their warm days suck – its still cold.
  • Boston accents are funny … and cool (if you are good looking).
  • Funny how every man under 6′  is the same height as me… whats up with that?  They are either short or tall.. no in-between.  And I’m the 2nd shortest person I know so why do I discrimate so?
  • Thank god they don’t let folks use cell phones on the airplane. If I sat next to a chatty cathy, I would have to kill them…  I am sure I would NOT like prison life.
  • Someone just walked into the bar.. and now it smells like dirty socks.  Gross – who can’t/doesn’t take the time to change their socks/shower during travel?

O.k..   I’ll update this blog as interesting thoughts come to me…   once I board the flight though, its all over, I’ll pass out before takeoff (something about the vibration).  However, as you all know, the Paula jutebox will never stop.

2 thoughts on “Flying Gods are NOT With Me.

  1. Harold February 19, 2011 / 4:34 pm

    Paula, yes airports and airlines do leave a little to be desired. Gone are the days of a flight crew that are even vaguely interested in getting you there more than themselves.

    About the on time thing, weather and human error are going to be a factor as long as we insist on traveling for work. The only people who seem to have the on time thing down are the Swiss and German rail system. They have two major draw backs. One, they leave in good weather or bad ON TIME. That means if you have not unloaded your three suit cases onto the platform in the 3 minutes the train is allowed at the station, you will find yourself tossing your bag onto the quickly departing concrete before jumping yourself and hoping that the rewatching of Band of Brothers will pay off.

    Two, those on time systems are restricted to a very small portion of the world and most of us are not able to take a bullet train from Munic to Lucern for work. So you and I are stuck sitting in an horrible painful chair for hours on end before we are required to jam into the metal tube and be treated just slightly better than those on the middle passage.

    As for the drinking, I admire you courage. I tried that a long time ago for two and a half years. I turned into such a preachy non drinker that my friends asked me to start drinking again.

    The men under 6′ issue I can only attribute to a huge war or plague that killed all the men between 5-10′ and 5-7′. That is why French people are so short the tall ones had their heads blown off during the Nepolionic wars. Good hunting for a tall survivor.

    Excuse the spelling have become addicted to spell check more than Burbon.



    • paulasponderings February 21, 2011 / 6:38 pm

      Harold, your insight is priceless. I think my good friend who is living in Europe now would agree with your assessment of the European Rail systems.

      Everything else, hysterical. Love the conclusion you have drawn re: taller gents.

      Keep checking back in and/or suggest topics…


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