O.k.. so The flying gods are not with me despite the well wishes from my fans!!   For “mechanical reasons” (overdue inspections), United has grounded quite a few flights…  I was not only NOT able to get on an earlier flight, I will consider myself extremely lucky to sit in a middle seat and get home as promised…  United committed to get me home by 10pm….  if they actually follow thru, I will be shocked .  We could all take head of the lessons that the airlines teach us —  set very low expectations and not deliver consistently. that way, when they actually do deliver once in a while, the “shock and awe” is good.   You actually get excited that they followed thru on something because it happens so rarely. 

All of you should know that I’ve done extremely well with my NOT drinking on the airplane (I know, why would I make this a NYR.. … I dont know, I just did it)…  Its been really hard, but I’ve followed thru.  For the first time I felt comfortable with the decision was on 2/13… flying to Boston this last trip.  It was the first time I didn’t salivate (if you will) for a cocktail.  I am in the preliminary steps of breaking a habit.. I’m so proud of myself.  So, when my family, friends, dates (ex husbands) suggest I drink too much, I will tell them, “but  I dont on airplanes!!!!!” . Yes, with that much enthusiasm…. 

O.k. so many “thoughts” are flying thru my mind while at the bar, a few of them include:

• United Airlines.. you suck.  You basically over-promise and under-delive every single time. 
• Customer Service Reps.. whether on the phone or in person, why, why, why do you join/be/stay in Customer Service if you dont like helping people (or people in general)??  I’ll never get it.  My advice – if you don’t like it, get out, you make this world a worst place to live in because you are so miserable. 
• Why is the guy in front of me in grey/green scrubs?  Didn’t have time to change before a flight?
• Men who wear rings, sit next to “hooker looking” girls at airport bars, and mention their wives..  really?  Hmmm…
• Boston if cold… just plain cold. Their warm days suck – its still cold.
• Boston accents are funny … and cool (if you are good looking).
• Funny how every man under 6′  is the same height as me… whats up with that?  They are either short or tall.. no in-between.  And I’m the 2nd shortest person I know so why do I discrimate so?
• Thank god they don’t let folks use cell phones on the airplane. If I sat next to a chatty cathy, I would have to kill them…  I am sure I would NOT like prison life.
• Someone just walked into the bar.. and now it smells like dirty socks.  Gross – who can’t/doesn’t take the time to change their socks/shower during travel?

O.k..   I’ll update this blog as interesting thoughts come to me…   once I board the flight though, its all over, I’ll pass out before takeoff (something about the vibration).  However, as you all know, the Paula jutebox will never stop.