These last 3 weeks have been brutal. I have been traveling non-stop to Boston for 3 weeks for my new job to get up to speed on new technology, messaging, and relationships. I’m just recovered from a bad cold. A friendship I really enjoyed somehow went from fun to fatal in my absense. My dad has not recovered from his surgery and is not doing well. My nieces car engine needs to be replaced so she can get to/from school and work. And tonight, while at dinner with colleagues, I received a call from some crazy lady back home who has trapped my cat inside her house. She is going to let her go tonight – but who does that?? Sophie, the cat, only travels/adventures out when I’m gone too long, heads out to look for me (or love.. maybe food)…. breaks my heart.
The experience of processing everything that is going on and trying to figure out what I need to do to move forward has left me emotionally spent. My energy levels are very low. My body feels heavy, tired, and completely run down. My mind is muddled and blank. I’m not quite sure what direction to go in…. I’m numb.
I know that life is busy and full of challenges… most of the time I can handle it, and sometimes even with grace. Other times, like now, it just takes a toll. I have zero room for anything else right now…. I have nothing else to give. And I still have two more days of training in cold, grey Boston…. an expensive car bill… an unhappy/trapped cat. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get thru the rest of the week. Friday can’t come soon enough.
I cannot wait to come home, spend time with friends, see the cats, and reconnect with myself .
Paula's Ponderings 