I’m in New York right now. One of my best friends is getting married today. I saw her for the first time in a long time last night and she looked so happy, excited, content. She just glowed and so did her fiance. Their energy permeated the room – it was such a special time and I was so honored to be there, sharing such a special moment with them. Made me tear up. My friend deserves all the happiness in the world – she is one of the most kind, generous, and honest people I know. I am grateful for our friendship.
Anyway, I have made some significant changes in my life, and I am working towards a more peaceful, happy existence.
The first big change is at work. I have changed roles at my current company, and am now doing a job that comes natural to me. I love what I do, I love my new manager. A good manager makes all the difference in the world. She is amazing, and I’m so happy to be under her wing. I now have a balance of life, I’m engaged with my girlfriends again, and also have time for myself.
The second big change is where I’m spending my time. I’m doing what I love again- connecting with my girlfriends. I’m making the time for the ladies I love, the ones that have held my hand through the happiest, toughest, roughest, and darkest parts of my life – the years with AbFab, my divorce and the following reclusive years, the year of dating, my job challenges (Man Hands). I don’t know what I would do without their help and support, it feels so good to be back in their company.
I’ve got a few more things to work on…
- I’ve got some weight to lose… which isn’t new. I complain about it, it greatly effects my confidence and self-esteem, but I’m not doing anything about it. It’s a simple fix – stop eating and drinking so much and work out more. I don’t know why this is, why I sabotage myself; keep myself down. I just bug myself sometimes.
- My relationship. I love my boyfriend but it’s just feels really hard to keep our relationship in good standing. Relationships require a lot of work, and I’m tired – I’m certainly not being a good girlfriend, I don’t think I know how to do it. I think that love doesn’t conquer everything – I feel like we are trying to shove a square peg in a round hole… we are two different people who have different definitions for relationship. Neither one of us is bad – we are just different, and that is o.k. I still want him in my life, I love him, I care for him. But I don’t think we were meant to be together in a traditional relationship. And that is o.k.. But I do waffle about this – this is how I feel today.. tomorrow it could be completely different. I need to figure out what I want/need and make it happen.
- Finances. I’ve really got to figure this out… with the new role came a lot less $$. I need to really cut back on expenses, which means I need to get real honest with myself and what I need. I have real estate I need to just let go of. I’ve always wanted to own a place in Utah and stay there when I visit my family… but I can’t afford it. I have a condo that I love – but instead of enjoying it, I subsidize my tenants lifestyle. That is reality.
So I commit to sharing my journey of change with you again…