I’m back.  In the midst of changing my life for the better and making time to write.  I will make it a regular occurrence to post from now on – it’s an outlet that I’ve missed these last few months.

I’m in New York right now. One of my best friends is getting married today.  I saw her for the first time in a long time last night and she looked so happy, excited, content.  She just glowed and so did her fiance.  Their energy permeated the room – it was such a special time and I was so honored to be there, sharing such a special moment with them.  Made me tear up.  My friend deserves all the happiness in the world – she is one of the most kind, generous, and honest people I know.  I am grateful for our friendship.

Anyway, I have made some significant changes in my life,  and I am working towards a more peaceful, happy existence.

The first big change is at work. I have changed roles at my current company, and am now doing a job that comes natural to me.  I love what I do, I love my new manager.  A good manager makes all the difference in the world.  She is amazing, and I’m so happy to be under her wing.  I now have a balance of life, I’m engaged with my girlfriends again, and also have time for myself.

The second big change is where I’m spending my time.  I’m doing what I love  again- connecting with my girlfriends.  I’m making the time for the ladies I love, the ones that have held my hand through the happiest, toughest, roughest, and darkest parts of my life – the years with AbFab, my divorce and the following reclusive years, the year of dating, my job challenges (Man Hands).  I don’t know what I would do without their help and support, it feels so good to be back in their company.

I’ve got a few more things to work on…

• I’ve got some weight to lose… which isn’t new.  I complain about it, it greatly effects my confidence and self-esteem, but I’m not doing anything about it.  It’s a simple fix – stop eating and drinking so much and work out more.  I don’t know why this is, why I sabotage myself; keep myself down.  I just bug myself sometimes.
• My relationship.  I love my boyfriend but it’s just feels really hard to keep our relationship in good standing.  Relationships require a lot of work, and I’m tired – I’m certainly not being a good girlfriend, I don’t think I know how to do it.  I think that love doesn’t conquer everything – I feel like we are trying to shove a square peg in a round hole… we are two different people who have different definitions for relationship.  Neither one of us is bad – we are just different, and that is o.k.  I still want him in my life, I love him, I care for him.  But I don’t think we were meant to be together in a traditional relationship.  And that is o.k.. But I do waffle about this – this is how I feel today.. tomorrow it could be completely different.  I need to figure out what I want/need and make it happen.
• Finances.  I’ve really got to figure this out…  with the new role came a lot less $$.  I need to really cut back on expenses, which means I need to get real honest with myself and what I need.  I have real estate I need to just let go of.  I’ve always wanted to own a place in Utah and stay there when I visit my family… but I can’t afford it.  I have a condo that I love – but instead of enjoying it, I subsidize my tenants lifestyle.  That is reality.

So I commit to sharing my journey of change with you again…