Thinking, Planning, and Regrets.

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Today is the start of a full 3 days off from work.  I will still be working, but only checking emails here and there.  A-Train is out of town so I have time to think about everything and come up with a new plan – even if that plan is to stop making plans and go with the flow. 🙂

Some of my favorite blogger friends gave me some words of wisdom after my post, Think.  Harold Spain stated that even with the best of plans, sometimes things don’t go as planned. Grey Goose basically said do what you want now so you don’t have regrets later.  Both of their comments have me thinking in different ways.

Being a type-A thinker can be a curse.  My parents told me it’s a gift because you can observe your behavior, analyze what works and doesn’t work, and change course based on the direction we want to go.  My parents are so proud of me, what I have done in my life, and how I have done it (with integrity, forethought, etc..).  My good friend Unicorns and Rainbows has the same curse as we – we spend all our time planning and plotting our course of action that we are actually beginning to think that we are missing out on life.

Regrets suck.  Living with mistakes is o.k…  but when you look at the end of your life, and you wished you had done something else, something different, or in most cases, just something.  Doing nothing is what fuels most people’s regret.  Mine is being cautious – being too cautious has caused regrets. I look at my life to date – I’ve done a lot of things, lived life to its fullest in a lot of ways.  Oh I have made our fair share of mistakes, but I don’t regret them because they were great life experiences. The only regrets I have is being too cautious.  My biggest mistakes?

  1. Waiting too long to get out of a bad marriage – not leaving soon enough to live my life. Yes I loved my husband and I desperately wanted it to work. But he didn’t love me, he didn’t care about me and what I wanted and needed. Would I have loved for it to work out and still be married to him?  Absolutely.  Did waiting for him to “come around” work out?  No.  Waiting didn’t change him, it only left me more damaged and with less time to find another partner.
  2. Waiting too long to leave bad jobs – it hurt me both physically, mentally, and professionally.  Remember Man Hands? Why in the world did I wait it out? I know I thought I could turn it around. But it was and still is one of the worst experiences I’ve had while living on this planet.

When did I become so cautious? Is this what happens when you get older? Get stung too many times?  Once Bitten Twice Shy kind of thing?  Anyway, Harold’s words got me thinking – planning can help put focus on a direction I want to go, but I still need to adjust as needed and enjoy the damn journey.  Stop being so cautious, live a little.  Grey Goose’s reminder to not live with regret is the best way to live life…

So maybe a move in in my near future?  I get it, where ever you go, there you are, but maybe a change of pace is exactly what I need. Maybe the plan I created for myself years ago isn’t working for me and a new plan is in order.  Maybe being a VP or President of a company isn’t in my heart anymore. Maybe being close to my nieces, laughing, making dinner, and painting nails is….

What are your biggest regrets? What caused them – being too cautious… being too reckless… being too XX??