Breaking Up Is Soooo Easy.

equinox-website-logoAhh.. not a boyfriend, but a gym – Equinox.   They keep emailing me to rejoin…. some sort of nurture campaign.  If they only knew why we broke up, they wouldn’t be trying to court me again.  So I decided to tell them – below is my request for them to stop emailing/calling me –

You don’t know me, I “broke up” with Equinox before you came aboard.
The reason I broke up with you is because your club was less than accepting/engaging/encouraging of members outside of your target audience – the non-working wives of rich men.  I, not being in that club, had a difficult time finding classes that were interesting and engaging at reasonable hours (10am is NOT reasonable for a working woman)… 
I worked with your staff for over a year, and even paid dues even though I never attended classes at your club. Why? Because I wanted to be there, I just didn’t have the work schedule that matched your class offerings.  I hoped to one day get back to the club…. 
 After a year of not attending a class, I asked one of your membership counselors for a “freeze” in my membership until I could get to a place where I could enjoy your facility again.  The woman in charge said “absolutely not” and made no attempt to help me in my difficult time (I moved from a work-from-home position to a must-show-up-in-the-office position).. Needless to say, I had to cancel my membership.  Spending $160/mo for absolutely nothing in return is not a wise financial decision.
And now you email me.  As flattered as I am that you want me back, I’m not interested.  I still have a very bad taste in my mouth about the last experience I had with one of your “counselors”.  Your emails only serves as a reminder of this bad experience.  
So for now, I would  appreciate it if you remove me from your mailing list/ add me to your do not contact list.  When I get a job with more schedule flexibility, marry a millionaire, and/or can retire completely, I will think about joining your club again.
Until then, I wish you luck in your member recruitment.
And that was it. It was that easy.  Practice makes perfect.  🙂
Update 12-8-2014:  This was my breakup letter. I got a response from Equinox saying he would remove me from their mailing list.. however, this is not the case. I just received another email from them, sharing with me the special “zero initiation” fee offer they have going on now.  As fabulous as this sounds, I again asked to be removed from their mailing list.  I know, I’m a hot commodity.  Nice to know someone wants me.  😉
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2 thoughts on “Breaking Up Is Soooo Easy.

  1. Herald Spain December 4, 2014 / 6:42 pm

    We are all just commodities to the capitalist state. They clearly have a design audience and you don’t fit that bill. A flawed economic model for them and disappointment for you.

    The word sports club would indicate that it should be accommodating to its “members”. Like you want to play at recess not be the last one picked for kick ball. Guess not!

    Hang in there and go for a long walk or run! Be well H.S.

    Like

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