Justice & Navigating US Court Systems

Ending Narcissistic Abuse Using The Court System

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Narcs will do just about anything to stay in contact. Best solution is to go no-contact and move on.

I asked him to never contact me again. I blocked him on every platform (WhatsApp, Text message, Email, Facebook, Snapchat, etc). Instead of just moving on with his life with his new girlfriend Nurse Nincompoop (aka Nurse N’Poop), He:

I’ve never had to work with the police before so everything is so new to me. I’m lucky I have an amazing Arizona attorney helping me through the process.

What I’ve learned:

  • Narcissists will never take accountability for their actions. It’s always someone else’s fault.
  • When dealing with an aggressive Sociopathic Narcissist, hire a lawyer immediately — this may very well save your life.
  • Always always always go no contact. Nothing they have to say is true or warrants any of your attention — as my lawyer says, “If his lips are moving, he is lying”..

Please take care of yourself out there. I had no idea these kinds of people existed.. I’m learning the hard way. Educate yourself on narcissism and their behaviors…. it will help you spot one earlier in the dating cycle and could save your life and your sanity.

They Steal What You Love — Part 1

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Because all they want to do is hurt you

Narcissists have a grandiose sense of entitlement — They think the world owes them and they will steal, lie, cheat to get what they feel should be theirs. True to his character, Trash is a thief.

So what has been stolen? Basically everything of worth. Trash left some of his used furniture for me to dispose of (story for another time), and took all the items of value, which of course where mine.

In November 2022 I filed Police report # (# redacted as to not reveal Trash’s true identify) with the Chandler AZ police. Total value of all the items that Trash stole from me is $ 12,690. A class 3 felony here in Arizona could land him in prison for 3.5–7 years.

This story will just be about the artwork ,which totals about $6,300. This is artwork that I purchased while living in Salt Lake City, Utah. I moved it to Chandler on Aug. 17th 2022 and hung it up over the weekend of August 20th with my best friend Katie. The other stolen items will be new stories (its a series peeps!).

Trash took my things not because he liked it; the opposite, he didn’t like it. He made of fun of it. But he knew that I love it, that it took me a long time to curate the collection. And that is why he stole it — because I loved it.

Here is just some of the items, displayed beautifully at my home in Salt Lake City, UT. You can see all of the items he stole here.

Pictures of some of the Stolen Items

Trash told the police that he made the purchases while we were in business together. Which of course is not true.  As of now the Police will not do anything — it has to be resolved in Civil Court (story for another day).

I know where some of the artwork is — it’s at Nurse NincomPoop’s (Nurse N’Poop for short) house.  As I am not 100% sure as I do not have video evidence, but would wager that the other items such as patio furniture, outdoor umbrellas and cafe lights, the locks, the wifi enabled landscape timer, etc. are all there as well. What a sweet fella to give his new girlfriend stolen items.

How do I know? Because Trash thinks he is above the law and posted pictures of it on Facebook. You bet I submitted the information the police. What did he do? Posted a joke Facebook Story about art… You can watch it here.

I have named Nurse N’Poop in the supplemental reports as a person in possession of stolen goods.

The prosecutor must prove that you controlled another person’s property after knowing or having reason to know that the property was stolen. Technically, you don’t need to buy the stolen property, it is enough to merely accept it.

Below is the proof I submitted to the Chandler Police.

Set of Two Prints — Neutral Modern Art

Trash has been posting Facebook Stories and the stolen artwork is clearly hanging up at N’Poop’s  house.

First supplemental report filed with the Chandler AZ Police # (police report # redacted as to not reveal Trash’s true identify). The evidence came from a Story Trash posted on Facebook. Full video here.

Artwork at my SLC UT home vs. at Nurse N’Poop’s house:

steal what you love - pic of my photos at Lauras house - Updated

And the receipt for the art, I purchased, in October of 2021 —

ivy interior invoice - updated

Wait, there is more.

One of a Kind — Paris Street Scene

I purchased this in 2010 while visiting a friend in Paris. It’s one-of-a-kind / irreplaceable. He was dumb enough to post another video with more of my artwork hanging up at the new girlfriend’s house.

Second supplemental report filed with the Chandler AZ Police # (police report # redacted as to not reveal Trash’s true identify). The evidence came from a Facebook Story Trash posted. I do not have the full video.

Artwork at my SLC UT home vs. my artwork at Nurse N’Poop’s house:

So, what have I learned from this experience?

  • That a narcissist believes that what is yours is theirs;  your stuff now equals their stuff and their stuff still equals their stuff . Such a huge sense of entitlement. I mean he didn’t just steal from me, he stole from the previous ex Lola – stories here: Lola and here: I met the ex girlfriend — she is NOT crazy; she is absolutely lovely .  He also stole from Betsy, I found the items after clearing the house out after the eviction.  Apparently it’s just the way they are – Spiritualwhistleblower on TikTok speaks the truth here.
  • That the police are pretty much useless in these situations. I can prove that we were not in business together, that these items were purchased by me with my credit card, some of them before I met Trash. They don’t care.
  • The court system is set up for criminals to crime. I’m convinced the hoops a victim/survivor is required to jump through is means to discourage them to push forward and fight for what they deserve — Justice.

I have filed a Civil Suit — for fraud/deception (for lying about the funds for the condo) , theft (my art (this article) and other stuff), as well as damage done to the Chandler house (more on this later). I will not give up until what is mine is returned to me.

Credit Card Fraud — Part 1

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The Ex knows how to game the system – the system lets criminals keep on crime-ing.

(Image credit: Shutterstock)

So today, Monday January 23rd 2023, I filed a police report for credit card fraud. Chandler AZ police report (police report # redacted as to not reveal Trash’s true identify).  This is the story of how my Ex, Tiny Trash, began using a Credit Card he was no longer authorized to use 16 days AFTER we broke up. 

Let me make this perfectly clear — I own 3 Short Term Rentals (STR). I created an LLC in 2018 to manage these rentals for tax purposes. Trash is in no way associated to the LLC nor is he on any deed of these properties.

He offered, as a boyfriend, to be the primary contact for one of my properties located in Chandler AZ. All other properties are managed by property managers. He offered — he said he wasn’t busy and could do it, and I mistakenly accepted.  Because he was the main contact for this property, I gave him access to my credit cards. The purpose was to purchase items for the rental property only.

Trash had access to two of my credit cards (account numbers no longer active):

  • card ending in 7767, a personal credit card I used for business management until early 2022.
  • card ending in 4757, a business credit card, associated to the LLC I used to support my STR business. Created in early 2022.

Once I created the small business account with Bank of America that was directly tied to my LLC, I switched from using 7767 and began using 4757. This happened early 2022. I got a credit card in Trash’s name so that he could purchase materials needed to sustain a short term rental, i.e. shampoo, conditioner, toilet paper, etc..

I deactivated Tiny Trash’s business credit card (ending in 4757) on Aug 24th 2022 when I found out he was living with his new girlfriend Nurse Nincompoop (NN for short).  He of course was livid. Once he knew it was over — that I wasn’t buying his lies, he began using the first card he had access to. I thought he gave the credit card back, but clearly he did not.

We broke up on August 24th 2022. He began using the card ending in 7767 on September 8th 2022. I did not realize this until I received the statement. There should have been ZERO charges on the card as I had migrated to the credit card associated with my business (ending in 4757) and the personal card (7767) was dormant.

Somehow Trash still had the card. And he began using it in September 2022, mere weeks after we broke up. By Sept. 16th 2022, he had charged a total of $1057.62 to the card. When I learned of the charges, I filed a credit card fraud case with Bank of America:

He clearly made charges for gas, Amazon purchases, and even tried to hire a lawyer — Cardis Law Group — I assume to help him fight the eviction case I started on Sept. 8th 2022 (story here: The Eviction Process).

Ultimately Bank of America found all these charges fraudulent.

Given this confirmation from Bank of America, I filed a Police Report with the Chandler AZ police department (police report # redacted as to not reveal Trash’s true identify). I filed the report with Officer Swanson. He took the report then called Trash to get his side. Officer Swanson called me back and stated that Trash did admit to making the charges stating that the card had his name on it. That’s some kind of logic isn’t it???

Officer Swanson told me that because Trash did indeed have a card with his name on it, these charges to not meet the criteria for Credit Card fraud (like the DirectTV fraud does). So again, this has to be dealt with in Civil Court (along with all the stolen items They Steal What You Love — Part 1).

So once again, Trash gets away with NOT being held accountable in the criminal court system. It is ridiculous to me that conmen like this continue to get away with this — theft, fraud, active deception, and breach of trust/contract. Again, I go back to my experience that the system is set up for criminals to crime. Nothing more, nothing less.

The laws need to change. If there is anyone out there that knows how to change the laws and needs an advocate for why changes are needed, reach out to me. I will stand with you. These criminals need to be held accountable.

Lessons learned:

  • NEVER mix business and personal. I will never ever again give access to my credit cards to anyone else. I will manage everything myself. If I begin to feel overwhelmed, I will sell a property or hire someone to help. Period.
  • Always cancel credit cards you are not using. I did not do this because there were still some monthly charges that Trash was supposed to transition to the new card. He did not. I should have taken care of this.

At the end of the day, I will never be too busy with work and my side hustle to not protect myself. I will never trust a partner to do the right thing. I will make sure that I take care of anything and everything. Because at the end of the day, this is my livelihood.

Wire Fraud — January 2023 (5 months post-breakup)

PaulasPonderingsLeave a comment

Retaliation is real.  Drama is his game.

Picture from Utahlandtitle

On January 31st, 2023, I received a call from Bank of America. Trash had wire transferred money into my account from his Wells Fargo account and it was flagged as fraudulent. Bank of America was calling me to get my approval to return the funds. Of course I said yes. The agent that called me did not have details on why the transfer was marked as fraud, and gave me the Bank Of America business account fraud department number (1–800–729–9437 option 2,3,3)to call to get more details. (Case # redacted as to not reveal my identify).

So today, Feb. 3rd 2023, I called Bank of America Business checking Fraud department to get more details about the wire fraud.

Here is the timeline:

1/19/23 — Trash wire transferred $3500 from his Wells Fargo account to my BofA business checking account. Here are the details from my Bank of America statement:

wire fraud - update due to settlement

1/30/23 — Trash then called his bank (Wells Fargo) and reported wire fraud on the transaction that HE INITIATED. Bank of America has the following note from Wells Fargo (the remitter): “Please return payment per fraud”.

1/31/23 — My bank, Bank of America, called me and told me the transfer had been flagged as fraud and was seeking my approval to return funds. Of course I gave permission and the funds were returned the very same day. Here are the details from my Bank of America statement:

What in the sand hill is going on? Why would he do this? And what is the significance of the dates January 19th and 30th 2023?  Was he trying to hide money?  Was he trying to set me up as perpetuating wire fraud?  He has not reported this to the police as no officer has called me from Gilbert Police to seek an explanation.

But for now, be very very very aware that retaliation is real — they will do whatever the can to hurt you. I have reported this incident to my Lawyer as well as the Chandler police (police report # redacted as to not reveal Trash’s true identify).

If anyone has been through this and can explain the significance of doing this, please comment. I just have no idea why someone would do this 5 months post-breakup.