Paula's Ponderings

A week from Monday my life changes – I officially start my new job!  It is a big deal because a) I am temporarily relocating to the Bay Area, and b) I am transitioning into a new role.  I am not looking forward to being back in the Bay Area BUT I am excited about:

• My manager…  She has many years of experience as a manager and running a global organization.  She knows her shit AND she is cool beans.  I am looking forward to working with someone I can learn from (finally).
• The industry…. the industry is changing and I will be a part of of the transformation.  My company is kick-ass and I am thrilled to be working with them to change the face of the industry, and becoming an industry expert in the process.
• the role… I love putting things together.  My new role is all about putting pieces of the puzzle together, for prospects and customers, and seeing a solution come to fruition.  This makes my heart sing.  🙂

Even with all of this positive energy, I am also experiencing melancholy and loss.

I am melancholy about leaving (temporarily) my life here in Utah.  I love it here.  I love being close to AbFab and her family and the Utah community has been kind to me.  Even though I do not know many of my neighbors, I feel looked after and cared for.  People are watching and I like that.  Here are a few examples:

1. When I am away, people take my trash and recycling out to the curb.
2. When there is a heavy snowfall, someone snowplows my driveway.  I don’t ask for it, people don’t ask for recognition, they just do it.  I’d love to thank them, but I don’t know who they are.

I know these are small things, but I did not experience this in CA in the last 10 years I was there. Even when I lived in my house..  and when I was a renter… forget about it.  This small acts of kindness make me feel better, and have had a positive influence on me – I feel they make me a more aware, kinder person.  I remember these acts of kindness and it makes me smile and pass it onto others.  All around, moving to Utah has been a very positive experience for me.

The loss is Baby Boy.  Baby Boy is the cat I rescued from AbFab’s family after their tragedy.  I loooooovvvee him so much.  He is my favorite cat – so easy to love, such a sweet, caring, lovebug…  BUT I am overwhelmed with the chaos that will become my regular life… Sophie and Zoey (babies I adopted in 2005/2006) are used to the travel and chaos, Baby Boy is not. Because of this, I made the decision to find Baby Boy the forever home he deserves.   I found a home for him with a wonderful woman and her sidekick, an adorable cat-loving dachshund named Tucker.  Based on the pictures I have received, he loves his new mom…. but he isn’t so fond of Tucker.  Tucker attempts to play with him but Baby Boy will have nothing to do with him.  So sad.  😦   I am in constant communication with his new mom – we will monitor his progress. If he does not acclimate by mid-February, I will take him back.  For now we are crossing our fingers that Baby Boy will learn to love Tucker and all will be good.  Here is a picture of my little angel. He is the best cat in the world.

I am heartbroken about my loss.. He is so lively, so personable, so loving.  I am devastated.  I’ve been crying for 5 days straight now.  I’m crying right now as I write this post.   It feels awful, not natural to not have Baby Boy near me.  A piece of me is missing, my heart is truly broken.  But a new, loving, stable home is what is best for Baby Boy so I have to move on.

So through my tears, I am packing up, organizing my stuff, covering as much of my furniture as possible (remodels are messy), and prepping the cats for the drive/change.  I will be driving to CA with the cats early this week.  Yes there is a lot of weather – wind and snow – I am keeping an eye on the weather and will make the journey when it is the most safe.

I will speak more to the job and the Utah house remodel in the upcoming months.

I’m always looking for feedback – Please share what you have done to better enable yourself for a new life.. or how you have dealt with the loss of a loved one…   I would greatly appreciate any/all feedback, guidance, and words of wisdom.