Got The Message. Loud And Clear.

As much as I don’t want to admit this, I’m going to.  Blogs are a great way to keep it honest….I want to learn from this .. and I want other women to learn from this.

So, the guy I went on a brunch date with last week, the one I really liked (its been a while since I have felt that tingle.. that excitement and desire to get to know someone)  … and that he said he liked me (he did invite me back to his home after our date AND asked me out for Tuesday)…. is not interested. Yes, I got the message on Tuesday night when he texted me from a meat market happy hour instead of calling me to make dinner arrangements.  BUT,  I wanted him to say it.  So I sent him an email.. here is what it said:

Gosh XXXX, I sure hope you have not fallen off the face of the planet.. that  would be bad news. Anyway, Woody Allen’s new movie, Midnight in Paris is opening this week.  Being a Woody Allen fan, I’m definitely going to see it sometime this weekend/next week.  You care to join me?”

His response, below. Mind you, this is the man who did not want me to leave our date (but I had to), invited me back to his house mere hours after our date to “warm his couch”…  Returned this email, timing wise, a mere 5 days AFTER our first date….

“Thanks for the update.  I think I have fallen off the planet.  You are a good person and I wish you good luck with everything you got going. I am going to be unavailable for a while.”

What did I do?  I thanked him for his honesty.. which I do appreciate.  My only guess is that he met someone between our date on Sunday and scheduled date on Tuesday that piqued his interest….    Good for him, nothing wrong with that…  Just saying’ dating can be a challenge.

What I’ve learned is that I still got it – I can meet someone and get that tingly feeling, that excitement of wanting to know more about someone.  I spent a lot of time dating this year, waiting and wondering when that feeling would come…  Its nice to know that I can get it… 

I don’t know what this means for me or interenet dating.. My profile is hidden on the sites I was using …  I’m going to lay low for now.  Online dating does bring people together that wouldn’t otherwise meet, but I’ve not had any luck with that… so I’m going to stick close to home for now.. just get out more, do new and different things, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll meet someone who makes me tingle..  🙂

7 thoughts on “Got The Message. Loud And Clear.

  1. Harold June 12, 2011 / 4:13 pm

    Yes G. G. has the nail on the head although I may have tossed in a few explatives to better describe Mr. Meat Market.

    Obviusly men act like that and they make the remainder of us angry that there is not a third gender for them. The heartless and simply self obsorbed gender.

    I am glad you could take something meaningfull about yourself from experiance of being tossed onto a skreefield in someones wake.

    Even pirates raised the skull and crossbones when the attacked.

    Keep your sails well trimmed, hold to you course and this voyage of life will turn out well.



    • paulasponderings June 12, 2011 / 5:38 pm

      Hi Harold!

      Yes, men can be so self absorbed.. believe me – I was married to one for a while.. Mr. Meat Market is just another one… I could see that on Tuesday.. I do appreciate his honesty… which is probably his only redeeming quality.. most men would have ignored the email and just gone on about their business.

      I agree there should be a heartless and self-absorbed category for humans, but I think there are people from both genders that belong in there…


  2. Struggling Dad June 12, 2011 / 11:45 am

    Paula, I’m with Grey: he’s a dick. You deserve more respectful treatment.

    I have to say that I think you should keep at it: the Right Guy IS out there and you have to cross paths with a lot of guys to know when you’ve found each other. I say “each other” because it has to work for both of you.

    I’ve been following the lives of a number of people for months now. A couple of things stand out:

    You need to have chemistry and not just enjoy chatting/texting/emails.

    You need something ‘different’ to generate a meet-cute that resonates and turns a mundane meet-up into a Story…

    Maybe I’m wrong but many past friends or girlfriends became that because of some sequence of events that threw us together. Curious, huh?!


    • paulasponderings June 12, 2011 / 5:35 pm

      Hi SD.

      I agree.. timing is everything. chemistry is a must for me – If I don’t feel it, I know it just wont work. I tried to force chemistry with Chicken Legs… and that doesn’t work…

      Thanks for the tips.. I’m looking forward to meeting someone that makes my heart skip a beat!


  3. Grey Goose, Dirty June 11, 2011 / 12:33 pm

    What a dick, Paula. I’m so sorry. Guys are kings of mixed messages. I think his reply to you was rude as hell. I can’t tell you how many times I have ‘misread’ my dates; fully expected there to be a follow-up when nope, not interested. Dating is hard. It shouldn’t be. It should be fun. I am sorry that this dumbass hurt your feelings. He sounds like a big jerk and if all he’s after is a quick ‘couch warming’, then you don’t want him anyway.

    You didn’t do a thing wrong. He just wasn’t truthful about what he was ‘really’ looking for. You deserve better! Try not to let him get you down. It’s his loss Paula, not yours.


    • paulasponderings June 12, 2011 / 5:40 pm

      I love you GGD!! Nothing puts a smile on my face like your passionate, direct statements!

      Dating should be fun.. and for the most part I’m having fun. I love learning about guys… Mr. Meat Market is stupid and shallow… not my type. But he was cute and confident.. which is my type… I’ll keep looking.. Glad I didn’t spend/waste any more time with him.

      Hey.. how did the date with Webster go? Get your bike ride?!?!?


      • Grey Goose, Dirty June 16, 2011 / 4:52 pm

        hahaha, no bike ride yet Paula. A few bumps in the road, so may still be a while (or not) 😉 You know i’ll keep you posted!

        Keep your chin up!


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