So I called the husband called today (He called me last night, but I didn’t hear the phone… I called back, not knowing what he wanted…..). We spoke this morning, had the small talk that most people do (how are you, how are the XX -in our case the cats, etc), then he hit me with the D-bomb.
Not only has he thought about it, he has acted on it. He has contact a person who can help with a “collaborative divorce”. It’s an interesting concept – Its for those who have reached an agreement and only need to complete and file the paperwork. Apparently it’s a very simple and a reasonbly priced initative (we both were frugal). But as I listen to all the reasons why we want to go this route, I think there are two things to consider:
- Financial Divorce
- Emotional Divorce
For whatever reason, we’ve been able to work thru the financial aspect of the seperation as well as a experienced sailor passes thru high winds on the carribean… its the “other”, emotional stuff that is important, less structured, and the most painful. The emotional divorce — forces you to think about the rest of your life — where do I land, what do I do, how do I do it, etc.. The shock comes from the reality of it, that the tides have turnd. I am no longer married, I am now “seperated” or “divorced”. The soon-to-be-ex seems to have been able to navigate these rough seas much more gracefully than I have….. On one side, good for him, but on the other, less mature side, I think, fuck him (can I say/type this??)…. .
Oh, and as I type this, I’m watching a TLC show about a man who is a tree – http://www.discoverychannel.co.uk/web/my-shocking-story/previous-episodes/half-man-half-tree/ what a dumbass I am for being so selfish and self-absorbed…. I have use of my limbs and am able to work… how LUCKY am I?