Outside Of Myself Looking In.

ask-yourself-1Do you ever have that feeling? That you are watching yourself live life from the outside?  I feel like I’m outside my body, watching myself from above, “live” life.  And I put live in quotes because I’m not living right now, I’m just getting by.  I struggle to get up in the morning.  When I do, I get ready – barely.  I do bathe or shower most days, but I rarely wear makeup.  I don’t put on my nice clothes – why?  I do finally make it to work or get to my tasks on the weekends.. but barely.  At work I can focus on most tasks, but it feels like it takes much longer than normal.  Then I go home at night, get into my pajamas and do nothing. I am watching a bunch of series on Netflix and Amazon, I’m just home.

All this time, I’m doing nothing, my mind is spinning.  spinning and spinning on everything.  I cant stop it unless I’m sleeping or high (I just got my medicinal marijuana license).  As I’m doing all this “living”, I’m outside myself, watching over, screaming at myself to get off my ass and get going.

So I know I need to get up, get going, and do the things that will turn life around for me. But I don’t do them. It’s been going on for a while now, and I have to wonder why I haven’t pulled out of this funk or why I am sabotaging myself.

Have you ever felt this way – that you know what you need to do, but you continue down the same path, not moving forward.. ?  How did you get out of it?

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4 thoughts on “Outside Of Myself Looking In.

    • paulasponderings May 20, 2015 / 5:50 am

      If that is the truth, then I’m sorry. Having your mind spin and spin… see what you need to do but not do it.. its maddening. If I can help you in any way please let me know.. Please do know that you are not alone.


  1. Herald Spain May 4, 2015 / 3:29 pm

    Yes I have twice. Last time I was sucker punched and the other was when my heart was broken, or were the they the same thing!?

    For me after such events all my senses felt dull. There was a blanket over me and I could hardly hear people talking even though I could see there lips moving.

    The worst thing was that every thing tasted bland. Food, drink, even fresh air.

    I only reasized I was better when, one day, my morning coffee tasted like it once did. Then I realized I would make it.

    Until that morning arrived I wish you all the best. Be well H.S.


  2. Grey Goose, Dirty May 4, 2015 / 2:39 pm

    I’m sorry you’re having a rough time of it right now. I absolutely know what you’re talking about. I have had similar ‘funks’ in the past (all too many times). It seems as I get older, they get more frequent. When they happen, I wallow for a bit and then I make myself get out and do something. They go away in time, but I have yet to figure out how to banish them forever. Try to concentrate on all that’s positive in your world (you have a roof over your head, a job, great friends and family, etc….). Yes, I know, I hate when people say that to me too. 😉


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