I met Lola a little over a year ago when I discovered that the furniture in the Chandler home was actually hers. I have come to know Lola this past year, and her story – the chapter that includes Trash – is not only heartbreaking, but also all too familiar.

Lola spent a long time with Trash, how she did it I will never know or understand. They met in October 2015, they stopped seeing each other at the end of 2022. Here are a few key dates/times of Lola’s time with Trash:

• October 2015 – Lola met Trash online. Yes, he was still married to The Ex-Wife. Yes, he was also living with Betsy. None of which she was not aware of.
• December 2015 –  She said things didn’t seem right, so she broke up with him.
• February 2016 – Without any warning, Trash showed up at her house with Gabe. She didn’t know what to do, but he knew how to pull at her heartstrings – the kid.  She made a fatal mistake this day but letting him stay. Her life forever changed for the worse this day, she just didn’t know it yet.
• March 2016 – Lola went to England on vacation; same time that Trash was thrown in jail overnight for domestic violence.
• Summer 2016 – Lola found out about Betsy
• September 2016 – Lola bought her house (go Lola!!)
• September 2017 – Moved in with Trash and turned her home to an airBnB… 
  • I’m going to assume Trash just pivoted from Betsy’s house to a new house because September 7th 2017 is when Betsy filed her first Order of Protection against Trash.

All in all, they were together until late 2022. Yes, you read that correctly. The entire time I was in a relationship with Trash, he and Lola were still talking, texting, and having sex. The ENTIRE TIME. He told me she was crazy and that he had to block her, he did not do that. He continued to see her, wine and dine her, sleep with her – at my house, in hotels, in Mexico. Did she know about me? Yes she did. And she did it anyway. This is the hardest for me understand – how another woman does another woman like this. I will post about this later, for now, we are going on Lola’s journey of theft and deception with Trash.

2021

March 2021

Now back to 2021. She and Trash were living together at a home he rented. She had sold her home by this time. She was paying him $1000/mo and he was paying the landlord. Except he wasn’t. She received a 3-day “pay or vacate” notification. Trash did not pay and they were evicted. It was clear he was taking HER money and not paying the rent. This was a devastating blow to her as she and her two boys had nowhere to go. She did all the packing and she and Trash put their stuff in the same storage unit. He is the one that purchased the lock, and therefore the only one with the key.

This was his 3rd eviction. He has a total of 4 evictions as of Dec. 2023:

• October  2022 – Me, Paula.
• March   2021 – The scenario described above with Lola.
• September 2017 – he was evicted and left The Ex-Wife home
• October  2016 – who knows….poor girl…

You can find eviction information on the Arizona Justice Courts casesearch website. I now recommend that ALL women research any person they plan to see/date BEFORE they meet up in person. Had I known to do my research, I definitely would have NOT gone out with Trash.

He is a prime example of a hobosexual: ”Someone who enters into a relationship to prevent themselves from being homeless“. 

Anywhoo, the point is, he created this chaos, and in this chaos he took advantage of her. Why she went back to him after this and/or continued to see him is beyond me. Another story for another time.

Fast forward to November 2021. 

November 2021

The Chandler House

I had purchased the home in Chandler in October 2021 as a short term rental. He said he had furniture in storage and I would be doing him a favor by letting him furnish the new home. I didn’t want to do it as we have very different taste in furniture. He told me if I loved him I would do it, it would be a favor to him; and what did I care, it was a rental, not our home… I begrudgingly went along with it. BIG MISTAKE.  He had all the furniture moved to the house BEFORE I ever saw the house. When I walked in, I was right – it was not good. It had a bad energy, I didn’t like it at all. I had multiple conversations with him about moving it out…. I was really in an awkward position and did not like how I felt or how I was being treated. This is a perfect example of how I didn’t stand my ground – I just went “with the flow” because I was too busy working and I didn’t want to fight.

A particularly harrowing experience for Lola was when Trash was at the Chandler house in November 2021, I was still in Salt Lake City UT, heading down Arizona within days. Trash and Lola were still texting, meeting up, having sex, all that jazz. I was NOT aware of this at the time. Well, at some point he was at the Chandler house, she was aware he had cleared out the storage room and wanted some of her things back. He invited her to the Chandler house… when she walked into the home, she was stunned to see all of her stuff. She wanted to take it. He got mad at her, hit her, then dragged her out of the house by her hair and arms. He called the police and when they showed up he wanted her arrested for trespassing. They would NOT arrest her for trespassing because she showed them the text exchange between she and Trash where he clearly invited her over. She wanted to file a police report for theft and for attacking her, but they told her, “if you do that you are both going to jail”. She had two young boys at home and couldn’t go to jail…. so she left with her TV and massive scrapes and bruises. I have seen the pictures – her hands and wrists were dark purple and red… her entire back had a road rash, much like motorcyclists get when they fall and skid across the pavement. This is so infuriating to me on several notes:

1. This is another example of how the police do NOT protect, and if anything, they support the abuser vs. the victim. 
2. I wished she would have reached out to me. I would have made sure all of her belongings were returned to her.

Please note, I was not made aware of this until AFTER I broke up with Trash and had him evicted from the home – so a year later, November 2022. When I finally got back into the home, a friend of Lola’s reached out to me and let me know that the stuff in my house was Lola’s. My heart broke for her. I was going to donate it all, instead, I reached out to her. She came over, identified what was hers, and we agreed I would sell it and give her the proceeds. Which I did. 

But the storage unit items was NOT all he stole from her. He stole so much more — and took it down to Mexico.

March 2021 through 2022

Mexico

Where do I even begin. When they were together, she purchased and sold her home turned airBnB. Together they moved the contents of her airBnB to Mexico – first to the Mirador townhouse, then into the home that he purchased right before I met him – The Costa Diamante house. He sold her the same dream he sold me – that they would live together in Mexico in that house. She believed him.  When he started dating me in April 2021, she realized they would not be together in Mexico and that she wanted her stuff back.

She continued to ask for it back. She had a trailer lined up and people that would help her load it and drive it back to the USA. He would on one hand tell her to get her shit, he would give her days that she could come and get it, then go radio silent. She would go down to Mexico to get it, then he would NOT give her the code to enter the places to get it. He made it impossible for her to get her stuff… He basically stole the contents of an entire 2 bedroom house from a single mother of two kids – dispersed it to all his different places, and refused to return it:

• Costa Diamante house (where we lived) was just sold with all her stuff in it – very nice refrigerator, kitchen appliances, bedding, etc..
• Mirador townhouse has all of her dishes, more appliances, a lot of bedding, clothing for her and her children, etc..
• Princesa condo now has all of her very nice outdoor furniture. He moved it from Costa Diamante to the condo when he sold the house. See below.

Lola was not and is not in the position to fight for the return of her items. She had to write it off. It’s been extremely hard for her — because she lost everything, she basically now rents a room from a friend to live in. When she is able to get back on her feet again, she will have to start over from scratch. And we all know furniture, bedding, kitchen supplies, etc.. are not cheap.

Summary

Trash feels entitled to things that are not his. He has zero conscience or remorse for the harm he causes other people or the disaster he leaves in his wake. He is a sociopath and it’s only a matter of time before he steals from or harms someone else.

Ladies, do not let this be you. Do NOT, for any reason, give anything to a man. There is no reason. He should be providing for himself. I wished someone would have given me this advice before and during my time with Trash. But they didn’t. So both Lola and I are here to tell you – DO NOT GIVE YOUR MONEY OR ITEMS to any man, ever.