Today I went to the D r’s office. It an office that I’ve been visiting for years, and have come to know the nurses very well. We often spend 15-20 minutes catching up before and after my appointments. Last time I was in the office I was in the process of moving out of my “married home” and about to head off to Italy with my best friend. They wanted to know all about the trip, where I had landed, what I was up to, etc..
I told them everything.. how great the trip was, where I’ve landed, what I am doing now, how I was feeling, and where I am off to next (Paris).. they shared with me their life happenings, what they were up to…. buying houses, moving, one just broke up with her boyfriend. They are both beautiful (and who really doesn’t have a fantasy or two about a beautiful nurse??!?) . Anyway, the one I connect with is Russian, forever known as Beatiful Nurse #1, is now divorced with a daughter. She looks 12 but I’m guessing she is closer to early 30’s. She asked me, “do you miss him, your life”? My answer was no. I shared with her that I didn’t miss him or our life because the last years was a lonely place for me. She couldn’t believe it because she now missed her husband .. I asked why. She had been bored in her marriage and they had grown apart, but now that she was dating (actively dating), she missed the stability, the support, the luxury of being able to count on someone (to fall back on them, to depend on them. It was an intersting perspective, one I hadn’t thought about.
Of course I’ve been thinking about it ever since (over 6 hours now)… is there something to stable and predictable? I’ve not thought about it because I’ve been so busy thinking about myself, what I wanted/needed, that I didn’t think (or did I, I just dont remember?) about being happy with what I had. What I wonder is, when I come around, when I decide that I want to have love, be in love, will I regret my decision to “have it all”? Who knows, but Beautiful Nurse #1 definitely had an interesting perspective…..
Paula's Ponderings 