I was speaking to a friend of mine, who also dated a man who took advantage of her financially. She bought a house and hired him as a contractor to work on the home. She paid him $$ to do this work. He also lived with her, in the home, rent free. When they broke up, she gave him time to move out of the house. He declined to move out. He hired a lawyer and sued her for 1/2 of the house that SHE BOUGHT with her money. So he was NOT on on the title/deed or mortgage, had not contributed a dime to the home, was NOT paying rent, WAS receiving compensation for his work. How did it work out? She ended up having to pay him off – she paid $60k to get him to slither out of her life. Imagine that – a guy wants to use the court system to get what he think he is rightfully owed, when he put NOTHING into the asset. I feel for my friend.

After this conversation, and in preparation for my civil suit, I put together a financial impact statement to better understand the financial impact of dating Trash for 16 months. The amount? $127,311.93. Everything here has a receipt to back it up. This ONLY includes money associated with his deceit beginning June 2023.

Let’s go through each category shall we?

Business Interference

I have lost income directly due to Trash’s actions. This includes:

• 10.14.22 – I had to cancel a short term booking at the AZ Chandler house because I was in the middle of the eviction process resulting in a loss of $ 1,430.62.
• Trash called/emailed AirBnB in late July 2023 (almost a year post breakup) and reported my Mexico B509 Condo as fraudulent / duplicate. AirBnB cancelled all the reservations. There were two at the time:
  • 7.29.23 – 2 night reservation, resulting in a loss of $ 579.69.
  • 8.18.23 – 8 night reservation, resulting in a loss of $ 1,460.64.

His actions have consequences – it’s called Tortious Interference. AirBnb has admitted that he did this. We will be amending the Civil Suit to include damages for his interference.

Repairs

Repairs include anything and everything that I had to REPAIR after he broke into my AZ Chandler House and MX Condo. What did he damage/steal:

• damaged the Jandy pool filtering system,
• he stole the WIFI enabled landscape timer, which had to be replaced and installed
• The door between the garage and laundry room that had to be replaced, installed, etc
• The $$ for the locksmiths to change the locks 2x!
• The replacement and installation of outdoor lighting and cameras he stole
• He stole two industrial / commercial grade hoses
• The replacement of Ring doorbells and keyless entry door locks

Fraud

NOTE, I was reimbursed by the credit card company, but the total loss for just fraudulent credit card charges is $6,941.56 ($5,883.94 + $1057.62). I filed 2 police reports with Chandler police, one for each card.

Business Credit Card (4757) – $5,883.94. This is the total amount he charged on my card without authorization between June 29th – August 25 2022. He was using my business credit card to entertain other women, including Lola and Nurse N’Poop, purchasing stuff on Amazon, purchasing gas for his truck, taking people out… He had the audacity to purchase new AC units for the Mexico house, on my credit card on August 15th 2022. So starts dating Nurse N’Poop in June 2022 and has the balls to charge $2,069.00 worth of assets on my business card for his house!

This is not just me calling it fraud. I filed a fraud claim with Bank of America – they agreed with me and credited my account.

Personal Credit Card (7767) – $1,057.62 . When I cut him off from the business card, he began using ANOTHER card, 7767, to charge things. So in the first few weeks of September 2022, he racked up $1057.62 in fraudulent charges. I did not know he still had the card, he was supposed to cut it up/not use it. He didn’t use it for many months – only AFTER he was cut off from the business card did he start using the personal credit card. Meaning he did it with purpose, he knew what he was doing. Details of this are in a previous post – Credit Card Fraud — Part 1 . Bank of America agreed this was fraud and credited my account for all the charges.

Theft

$32,601.67. This is what I can account for – meaning I have the receipts of the original purchase or cash withdrawl/transfer. Yes, I poured through credit card statements and purchase websites (Amazon, Overstock, etc). It include 3 primary areas:

• $22,591.59 – Replacement of all items he stole from both the AZ Chandler home and the MX B509 Condo.
• $6,010.08 – My money that he stole from the safe in the MX house. It was reimbursement of the charges Trash put on my credit card. He purchased a bunch of TV’s and alcholol for bars in MX on my card – he said he forgot his card in MX and asked if he could use my card. I said yes. Once he installed them and was paid, he gave me the money, which I put in the safe. I checked that the money was there before we left town on June 20th 2022. The money was in the safe. I had contemplated taking it with me, but chose not too, as it’s expensive to withdraw USD from an ATM in Mexico. When I went to get my things from the MX house in September 2022, he had taken all the money. We are the only two that knew the code to the safe – so it was definitely him who stole it.
• $4000 – Money I gave to him to give the the MX RV Painter that he spent elsewhere. When I returned to MX in September 2022 to get my things, the RV guy was livid that he hadn’t been paid and threatened to sell the RV if he was not paid. I had to scramble around for 2 days to get enough cash to pay the painter so he didn’t sell the RV. Luckily I was able to VENMO money to friends that were headed to MX and get the money to the painter before he sold the RV.

Deception

$35,469.87 – yes, this is a doozy. This is split into the following categories:

Category	Amount	Notes
Car Rental	$1,127.37	When Trash left Kanab for MX, I had to rent a car to get around and get to SLC.
Move	$7,482.08	This is the cost of the move from SLC to Arizona and the cost to move furniture from my rentals to Arizona to replace items Trash had stolen from the AZ Chandler house.
Audi Repairs / Enhancements	$1,211.49	I thought the Audi was mine, so I paid for new tires and added a hitch to the vehicle so I could tow my trailer from SLC to MX. I clearly would NOT have done this if I thought that a) the car was not mine, or b) that he was with someone else.
Lost Income	$14,230.00	I had to take a month of unpaid leave to deal with his violence and shenanigans post-breakup.
MX Kitchen Remodel*	$11,418.93	This is the money I either paid to Trash directly to pay the contractor OR money I paid, on my credit card for supplies. I want to point out that the MX Kitchen remodel, we agreed to each pay 50%. He told me that the total was going to be $16,000. After we broke up, the contractor told me the total cost of the MX Kitchen remodel was $8,000. You got that right – he lied to me about the total cost of the remodel so that I would pay it all. Also note, that we were NOT supposed to start the remodel until I returned, but he insisted we start it before I left. I was not comfortable with this, but I didn’t stick to my guns on it. So he had already been communicating and hanging out with the new GF when we went to the hardware store and purchased $2,595.52 worth of supplies (6/14/22 and 6/20/22). The kitchen remodel story should be a post all on its own, it is so deceptive and egregious.

Legal Misc

This includes the following:

• $14,985.50 – Eviction Judgement and the Order of Protection Legal fees reimbursement.
• $40,000.00+ – legal fees I’ve incurred since filing the civil suit to protect myself against Trash. Money I would NEVER have had to spend had he done the right thing.

Lessons Learned

I have learned so much about myself in this fiasco.

• I was obviously far too trusting with my money. It just never occurred to me that a significant other would be so deceptive and actually steal from the person that they claim to love.

• I also came to the realization that I didn’t think I had anything to steal. I never thought of myself as wealthy, of possessing the kind of money that would make me a target for conmen like Trash.

I now know that I am lucky, that I do have funds that people want to steal/take and/or feel entitled to. Moving forward, in any relationship, here is my course of action:

• NOT share my financial state with anyone.
• Give access to my credit cards or business accounts to anyone, ever.
• I will NEVER invest in another persons property/asset. If you want me to invest, put me on title.
• Simplify my life so that I do not “forget” how much cash I give someone. Or better yet, take responsibility for MY STUFF, never counting on someone to own a project (RV, House Remodel, etc) on my behalf.
• Reduce the amount of properties I have so I can manage them by myself, without help from a significant other.

Be careful out there peeps. It’s a dangerous world.