Paula's Ponderings

I get SUPER EXCITED about the New Year – I see it as an opportunity for reflection and change.  I love to look back on the year, see where I am, where I am not, as compared to my goals and aspirations.

This year was the first year I did not write down my resolutions – and I’m paying for it.  I have no way to measure myself, and I feel like I wasted most of the year.  I gave up on 2014 about 4-5 months ago.  A lost year for me.  I wanted to do so much, but did almost none of what I wanted.  This year, I’m starting early.

I feel like I’ve already started on my 2015 resolutions. I do not want another year to go by and be in the same place.  I’m serious about making a plan and working that plan….

One of the biggest changes that happened already is a job change.  I really wanted to call Zuora home, but they were like family that only wants you to stay a few days, not for a while.  I tried my best to stay, worked really hard to do something amazing. . Alas, I clued in that we weren’t on the same page so I moved on.  Bums me out as I loved the technology and all my customers…  but unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be.  I’ve been at the new company for a month now, so far so good.  I’m taking a lead, doing what I love (to organize things, make a difference), and learning new things.  I am looking forward to finding my professional home – the place that feels like home when I’m not home. So far so good.  So far there aren’t any real politics that I can see, just a great bunch of good, solid, really smart people all working towards the same objective/goal/outcome.  Great technology and culture.  I feel like I fit in.  It will be a matter of time before I figure out if I do or not.

I’ve spent the last 10 months trying to break up with A-Train.  I love him, but I’m convinced we are not meant to be a couple. For a variety of excuses reasons, It hasn’t happened yet.  He is a super nice guy, I love being around him, we just aren’t a good team.  My fear of losing him as a friend stops me from doing what is best for the both of us.  Although I still do not know why in the world he wants to be with me – I’m a horrible girlfriend.  I will someday provide a list of all the ways I’m a horrible girlfriend….

Anyway, one resolution is to write more.  I like to write, its therapeutic for me, and I love the advice/wisdom I get from my readers.  So expect more this year from me. I’m ready to deliver.

Keep me honest folks – hold me to my goals and commitments!