“I’ve Fallen And I CAN Get Up.”

Yes, a slight adjustment to a an old infomercial favorite – “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”.  My usage of this every popular catch phrase has more to do with emotional health, not a medical (physical) emergency.

2008 was a very tough year. 2009 is/was a recovery year. As I look back, 2009 was about figuring out “my stuff”.   It’s taken a lot longer than I thought it would, but then again, I feel like I want to be solid, standing strong and on my own two feet before I get back into living life.  

 I have been a recluse this year. I’ve done this on purpose… somewhat. The good thing is that I’ve focused on me, what I want and need. The bad thing is that I’ve kept to myself most of the year and not reached out to good friends.  Thinking about this year has me thinking about what I want/need in the new year. Right now I’m not sure what 2010 will bring, but I will give it some serious thought these next few days. 

I’ll keep you posted.


Random Notes From a Frequent Traveler….

 Soo.. random thoughts while traveling home….

For those of you who don’t travel for work, and you think “business travel” is glamorous, please read on.  Life on the road is not all that great, so please give a bit to those you know who travel frequently.

I am on the plane now (finally, after a 1 hour delay).  We are far enough up in the air for me to safely use a computer without bringing the airplane down and risking the lives of myself and all the other passengers on this plane.  It is a small plane, and the “others” on the flight are within very close proximity of me….  thoughts of them swirl about in my head….. a random sampling below:

  • The woman and child behind me…black woman maybe in her 40’s and her 2 year old girl-child.  The woman keeps telling her kid to cover her mouth when she coughs (actually, she sounds like she is hacking up a hairball).  The ironic thing about it?  The mom has the same annoying hack, and doesn’t cover her mouth.  I just want to turn around, look at the both of them, and say “lead by example” to the mother, and tell the kid “cover your mouth – do as your told, not as you see”.  I’ll consider myself lucky if I arrive home without contacting the swine flu and/or whatever the folks behind me have. 
  • The woman in front of me looks so much like a man. As a matter of fact, I didn’t know/think it was a woman until she got up and went to the bathroom and I saw breasts (small breasts, but big enough for me to know its a woman, not a man).    Seriously, she is has short hair (reminiscent of the 90’s short haircut that screams “I’m a woman in a mans world”) and the side of her face is a bit hairy…  I can clearly  see now she is a woman.. but honestly, when saw that she ordered a beer I thought for sure she was a guy.  I wonder if she has two cats……
  • There is a man a few rows ahead of me that is very tall.  He also has very long grey hair that is in a pony tail.  Even though he appears to have a lot of hair, its a very small pony tail.  I can’t help but look, which requires me to stretch my body and neck to look over the woman who looks like a man (previous bullet point).   How come no one in his circle of family and friends have told him that it isn’t a good look for him?
  • Now the kid behind me is crying… for what reason I have no idea… just because.  If I had a nickel for every time the back of my seat was kicked by a child, I would probably not need to travel for business anymore (I’d be a wealthy person).  This is why I choose not to travel AND/OR avoid travel at all costs during the holidays or in the summer. 

Finally, the plane is starting to decend… a SF weather report from the captain.. seat belt signs illuminated…  almost home!  Now I need to put the computer away before it starts interfering with the airplane radar capabilities.

Kids Are Hard Work!

Yes, I know, it has been quite a while since my last post.   I’ve been busy setting up house, working, traveling, purchasing portable heaters for the house (the winter has set in) and  cat beds for the darling furry beasts, etc..   I have thought about writing almost every day as one would expect, as I have had a lot of ‘interesting’ thoughts to share…

This week I am in Utah, staying with my parents, and visiting with family.  I took a few days off, and decided to spend it with the kids in my life.  I have two nieces that I’m close with, and one  of them has children of her own…  They are all just darling, fantastic kids, and a blast to be around (meaning they are well behaved AND full of personality).

Thursday night I spent the night at my nieces house,”A’s” house, who has two girls of her own:  “Mayonaise” is 2.5 years old, “Shanaynay” is 7 months old.  We made dinner, hung out, caught up, downloaded some ringtones to my new phone… have a great time together until we hit the sack.  Around 11pm  Mayonaise woke up screaming and crying because of a new rash that was hurting her…  Ashley took off her diaper and got her in the tub, I ran to 7-11 (the only game in this small town after 10pm)…  got a bunch of random stuff and brought it home (Neosporin, Preporation H, Tums, and Pepto Bismol.  We decided the Prep H was what was needed and applied it generiously to her hiney and back…. She did go back to sleep… but I was worried about her.  Since I was sleeping with her, I kept waking up every hour or two, finally up at 4am and unable to go back to sleep until 6am.

Needless to say, I did NOT want to get up..when “A” and the kids got up.  but I did…  Played with the girls, showered, went to pick up my other niece “Ney”, and here I am, hanging with a 10 year old.  She is such a creative funny girl, we spent the evening coloring and talking….   And now,  I’m watching “Home Alone” for the 1000th time.

The thing is, I’m exhausted.  Completely and utterly exhausted.  I’m having difficulties keeping my eyes open I’m so tired.. and I will sleep soundly tonight without the help of a sleeping aid. 

All in all I’m having a blast – below  is a picture of just a moment in time – picture time.  I tried to get a picture of me and the girls to no avail.  Keeping one straight was a chore.. . getting both straight and looking forward at the same time… impossible. 

2009 Dec Paula & Kids
Picture Time


My hat is off to anyone who takes care of children on a daily basis… and honestly, I have no idea how a person actually works outside the home AND take care of kids.. especially young kids.   Yes, I know its  rewarding and you get used to being/feeling exhausted all the time…(at least thats what all my friends and family tell me).   But I’m glad someone else signed up for it and not me…  I looovvveee my sleep.   

Heading back to work on Monday seems like a vacation…. kids are hard work!! Darling, fun, but a lot of work.