Fugly For A Day.

So, last weekend I woke up with a swollen eye.  My right eye was completely swollen shut due to two mosquito bites – one on the inside of the eye, another on the outside of the eye.  Swollen shut.  It itched like crazy, but after looking at it, I decided to put ice on it instead of scratching it… it helped, the eye swelling reduced by 50%, but still very noticable.  

Bottom line, I woke up fugly.  Went to bed normal, woke up fugly.  And I stayed fugly for 2 days (friends might say 1 day, but the eye was NOT quite back to normal the second day)….

Given my new state, fugly, I decided I was not going anywhere.  My friend Katie convinced me to go with her to a few stores….  I’m glad I did, for the sheer purpose of learning how self-conscious I am when I dont look like my normal self.  My normal self, my looks, are average, I’ve got some pluses, but some minuses too… they all even out so that I’m average….  what I’ve really got going for me is my sparkling personality… this is what pushes me into above average.  🙂

Anyway, I was surprised how less confident, self-conscious I felt with my deformity.  I swear, people were staring at me….  I would look at them, I swear they were doing a double take….  I was very conscious of it – first glance, sweeping view just to make sure you dont ‘bump carts’… but then, then there was a second look…..  the stare down, like they are trying to figure out what is wrong, where is the disfigurement….    at that second look I would look down, knowing that I was unworthy…      when I ran into someone (which happens when you only look down), I would say sorry (which I am totally against)..

I was exhausted by the end of the day (we were a the store for maybe an hour)…  it took a lot of work to be self-conscious and fugly.  Katie invited me to a party, of course that was NOT going to happen. I stayed home, nursed my wounds….

I did wake up Sunday almost as good as new, but effected by the experience.  I am completely back to normal now, but there isn’t a day that has gone by that I dont think about it.  Makes me wonder if I’m really as self-confident as I think I am, because I feel like if I was, a swollen eye wouldn’t have had such an effect on me.

I did take pictures of my eye, and once I get enough confidence and/or courage to share them, I will post pictures to this blog.  Its bad peeps, very bad.  When it becomes funny, I’ll post it.

 

 

Sausage Pasta.

So, I have a bunch of new habits… ones that I’ve easy to fallen into and didnt take notice until a friend pointed one out…. 

First, there are things about me that I know, and that my dearest friends know, and that others are quickly learning… you can find all of my special features/functions on the “My List” page.  I have a few other habits/nuances that may join the list, but as of today, the are just too new to put on “the list”…  check back in 2-3 months to see what happens.

So, I have a few favorite dishes that I make all the time… really, all the time.   There are 4 of them, and they include: sausage pasta (there is a summer and winter version, I’m blogging about the summer version), green chili pork stew with beans, pesto pasta with cherry tomatoes and mozzerella cheese balls, and a meal named after my very dear friend, Katie, called Katie’s Pasta, which is orzo pasta with sun dried tomatoes, slivered almonds, and kalamata olives…   All of these meals are to die for AND I make enough for 2-3 nights…..  I have the ingredients for ALL of these meals in my house at all times… and may even have a serving or two in the freezer when needed in desperate times (like returning from a trip and want/need a “home cooked” meal).

I didn’t realize that I was so taken with these dishes UNTIL I listed them all out as options for a dear friend that was over for dinner.  The response was interesting…  “no more sausage pasta” was the statement.   Of all my favorites, this is the one that was NOT going to make the cut.  Wow.. I couldn’t believe it, really? No more sausage pasta?  Granted we’ve had it every week in the last 3 weeks, but I do tweak it a bit every time…  it is a differnt meal every single time… 😉

Funny thing, I am home alone tonight, sans friends, and I made myself some sausage pasta… its really a garden pasta with aspargus, orange peppers, carrots, and a bit of sausage. Today I spiced it up with red chili’s….  and I always throw parmesan cheese on my serving.  It was delicious…. truly delicious.  I can’t believe that someone really doesn’t want to have sausage pasta again….

Anyway, its interesting how quickly new habits are formed… old habits forgotten.  I can’t even remember what I used to make for dinner before…. the new meals, named above, have become the norm, the staples in this household.

I guess the point I’m making is that old habits may die hard, but they do die….   and new habits are formed. And they may not make your friends happy, but as long as you are happy, then its a new, right habit for you.

So, one last funny story….  I went to an online translation engine to translate “long live Sausage Pasta” to Italian (my favorite country, my favorite vacation spot), and this is what I got: “pasta lungamente in tensione della salsiccia”, which directly translates to  “It wishes the paste in tension of the sausage” or “paste long in tension of the sausage”…. 

I think the translations speak for themselves.  Funny.